he doesn't care

Lifestyle Relationships
1

we have been going out for years now
we fight every day
we aren’t married yet because his parents have issues with us
when we fight, i am always the one to call back
he does whatever he wants yet i am always okay with it
i’ve lost my backbone to stand up for anything or draw any line
i give in to everything he asks of me
but he can easily say NO to me
i’ve lost half my weight in the years we’ve been going out, i’ve become a skeleton
i can’t get proper sleep at night
but he eats and sleeps well
yet…i can’t say GOODBYE…
my parents have other proposals lined up for
i just feel committed to him though
but i am destroying myself
what am i doing wrong?

2

Re: he doesn't care

A relationship has 2 be a 2 way street, if the feelings r mutual, there's no point of hanging on2 sumthing that just isnt goin 2 work. He has to care abt u the way u do, if he doesn;t then just walk away, and look into sum of the proposals that ure parents have lined uo 4 u or evn just sum1 else. It's clear that ure unhappy in ure realtionship, cos he doesn't care enuff. I wud suggest u leave u'll b doing ureself a huge favour :)

3

Re: he doesn't care

staying with the idiot .. who dont give a peanuts about you...

get rid of him ... he aint worth it ... someone who dedicates their life for them and in return what do u get ..... NOTHING absolutely nothing ...and for someone who tries so hard shud deserve someone better . who cares from the moment GO!!!

4

Re: he doesn't care

the problem is
when i'm nice to him he is very sweet to me
but he is not showing enough concern and urgency to solve the issue which bothers me: to make sure we get married ASAP
i get frustrated b/c of that and vent to him and then we fight...daily
and he says i am always fighting

how can i not be upset when we've been dating for years but are not married and he's so RELAXED about that

i dont know WHAT the F happens to me...when we fight...and he doesn't pick the phone...i go NUTS...i lose my mind...i can do ANYTHING just to talk to him at that point...
whereas, for him its very easy to control himself

i want him to feel that PAIN that i feel too....to feel that his world is lost when we have a fight and dont talk....

i want to see the fire burning with the same intensity on the other side too

:(

5

Re: he doesn't care

make him understand how unhappy you are - and why
if he thinks you should just deal with the situation then swallow it as a bitter truth and live with it
or - if you think you can survive without him then leave him

^^^ this is what you said in another thread ..... sara khan

and i think you shud follow what you already said and am sure you ll be alot happy...life will be once again worth living :)

6

Re: he doesn't care

Wow you sound just like my sister a few years back. This relationship is already half -dead. Believe me, he's not worth it.

How old are you guys by the wya, and how long have you been together?

7

Re: he doesn't care

fbi

when i talk about this issue of marriage to him...im so bitter that he isnt showing any sense of urgency about it...that i start being angry and venting

i just cant talk rationally about it...

and when my tone goes bad he starts fighting

:(

Before you turned the lights off on your Suhag Raat
8

Re: he doesn't care

Cut your losses and start again with someone new. This relationship is not going anywhere.

Pakistani sikh Love For Pakistan
9

Re: he doesn't care

What does he say? Does he make any sort of commitment for the future?

10

Re: he doesn't care

Sabriya he is taking steps towards marriage...
but those are baby steps at a VERY slow speed
i thought he would want to get married to me ASAP
he is the one who proposed
he used to be AFTER me and i was like NA UH boy shooo
but after i said yes, like the effed up pakistani girl i gave him my heart and soul
and he started taking me easy then
we are in our late twenties

how did your sister's relationship turn out?

its not me to end a relationship or say goodbye
i cant do it man

11

Re: he doesn't care

O re piya ...hai...O re piya...:(

12

Re: he doesn't care

he doesnt make ANY commitment
he says, sara i'm with you, i'm always yours
about shadi, just be patient and bear with me - it could take months or years

but the issue is, its not natural for two people to be just dating...and just the fact that they are DATING but not MARRIED complicates the relation and creates issues between them...which is why i dont want to be just dating him

weve been dating for long but i have kept my limits...and he is OK with that...coz there are some things that should only come after marriage...

its difficult for me to deal

13

Re: he doesn't care

you know .. i sense what you mean but .. kia hai na .. have you ever asked him the big question as to why hes with you till now and hes not ended it ....

basically be brave and turn the tables on him .. and ask him questions which he ll have to reply and am sure you ll have your answer .. ask hm questins which he dunt wana hear..like does he wana get married and dont say lets get married .. cos that way he ll just ignre you ... so ask him does he want to get married...

but.. if you think on the possitive side of the sittuation.. he may have some sittuation too which he cant tell ya .. like i had this friend who was sorta in the same sittuation as you.. but he cudnt tell his frend that he cudnt marry her ..cos family had plans for him yet they both wanted to be togeather so much .. and at the end what happened was that he had to tell her .. and they unfortunately didnt marry and the girl he got married to .. He accepted her...

and another possitive .. that as someone said .. if he aint budging from his place and dont feel anything for you then you may aswell consider the proposals that are coming your way .. you may become lucky and find some one better than him .. and who cares and respects you alot like i said from the moment GO..

14

Re: he doesn't care

You see girls wasting years ..or the best years of the marriageable age with one guy and eventually the guy ditches her and marries someone else.

15

Re: he doesn't care

plz..dont try to defame the pure word of marriage and love with dating type things..love is nothing without respect...and when your eyes ..just lower down..when you look at that person to which you have some different feelings ...of attachment....and love...

16

Re: he doesn't care

Sara, my sister's relationship didnt work out with the guy... and they were together for several years... started from high school and into her early twenties, the marriage fight started so then it ended.

17

Re: he doesn't care

exactly what am try na say .... its just waste of time and life.

18

Re: he doesn't care

dating is that thing ..when your partner is beautiful..and your friends get impressed at restaurant or at university campus...and that ..."love" is at the cost of your own friends passing vulgur comments on that girl...!!!!!

what is the respect and honour of that girl..in such cheap dating !!!!!

19

Re: he doesn’t care

in my case he is trying…he is like “sara just be patient, im here with you TRUST me. i will never marry anyone but you. but i wont marry you until my parents are OK with it OR if we move to another country”

i dont mind waiting but the fact is that a relationship between a man and a woman that is not marriage but just dating is not sustainable and BOUND to fizzle out or have issues…which is what we have…we fight effing daily

why do i feel like i’ve lost my world when he is upset with me :crying:

why do i feel like i can give everything i have in the world just to be with him :frowning:

20

Re: he doesn’t care

:k: exactly!