Re: Facebook..
My point was that Facebook acts as the platform for such situations, making it easier for such things to happen. It actually influences alot of young girls and boys into doing stuff they wouldn’t normally do. And I don’t think OP is stupid or desperate, otherwise she would have run off by now to meet this random stranger.
Re: Facebook..
like i said earlier sta, aasay larkoon ko jootay marnay chhaye
piyar to andha hota hai.
Re: Facebook..
like i said earlier sta, aasay larkoon ko jootay marnay chhaye
mager maray kon?
Re: Facebook..
lol
you have a good point, and i agree with you - but who is to blame in this case?
Re: Facebook..
Trust me if I got chance I would love to do tht 
Re: Facebook..
Trust me, you are mature and you know what black/white is, but someone in teen age could not.
Re: Facebook..
Seriously? 
Same can be said for Gupshup. MSN. texting/SMS-ing, co-education…pretty much anything.
Technology isn’t and shouldn’t be to blame for idiocy and bad behavior and to constantly throw the blame on FB etc just absolves victims and perpetrators alike of any personal responsibility.
Re: Facebook..
^ I'm not sure who the victim even is.
"teehee I don't know why I started sharing personal details with a complete stranger, oopsie! oh no!" doesn't automatically make one a victim.
Re: Facebook..
Sahar u r a very strong person so probably dnt understand y ppl act so foolishly.
but some people r very gullible and easily manipulated. I do sympathise, but after being told by so many people that's it's a very perilous situation for her I hope she listens to sound advice.
Re: Facebook..
Trust me, you are mature and you know what black/white is, but someone in teen age could not.
no i meant would love to give some jootas to these men who take advantage of others n even to girls who give them chance to do this its not right to blame one person both equally deserve
Re: Facebook..
every medium has pros and cons it totally depends on the person how u r using it.
Re: Facebook..
You’re right. However, GS isn’t a place where you would normally put your personal details. Whereas with Facebook, the whole point is that you put your personal details up - your age, school, place of work, etc. It’s easier for you to be targetted because XYZ knows so much about you already. You might have private settings, etc, or you may not. But the fact remains that there are young people who are easily manipulated and although we can sit here and say well it’s the same everywhere - if the person is going to go off the rails then so be it, we must remember that Facebook is aiding all of this.
SK - I don’t really know who is to blame in all of this. But I would say Facebook is perpetrating situations like these.
Re: Facebook..
You're right. However, GS isn't a place where you would normally put your personal details. Whereas with Facebook, the whole point is that you put your personal details up - your age, school, place of work, etc. It's easier for you to be targetted because XYZ knows so much about you already. You might have private settings, etc, or you may not. But the fact remains that there are young people who are easily manipulated and although we can sit here and say well it's the same everywhere - if the person is going to go off the rails then so be it, we must remember that Facebook is aiding all of this.
SK - I don't really know who is to blame in all of this. But I would say Facebook is perpretating situations like these.
sweetheart i mentioned before n telling u again it actually depends on the person how they r using it n yes if person is young n can easily be manipulated thn its parents duty to keep a check n eye on their kids wht they r doing
so if he strt to judge who to blame then there will be a long list
Re: Facebook..
^ Fair enough. I have my own opinions on this and you have your own. I'm not looking to get into a fully fledged debate over this. And I think we all agree that we can't actually pinpoint the blame on any one individual thing.
Re: Facebook..
DP - if you dont teach a child, for example, to eat with a spoon or eat with your right hand, how is he/she going to know what is the right thing to do. Either wait for a revelation, learn from one's mistake or actually told by someone are the only three options. Parents teach their kids because they don't like/want the other two options.
Re: Facebook..
Now he's being portrayed like the bad guy and me the dumb, naive girl who is doomed..
He didn't start out of nothing. I commented once on a pic about drone victims. He was the one who posted that pic on some Pakistan-related page. When he sent his message he made a funny remark and that's how things started. Again, I had no other intentions.
I can say with certainty that I know he ain't a fakerd, I know how he looks like, in which university he was studying (a leading university) etc. I also made sure he is the person he says he is, by checking his friend's profiles and all that. His friends in Pak and those in the uk. Im talking about many months in which I tried to see if he is really the same person, you could call it an investigation lol. So I do know the person behind him.
Obviously I wouldn't decide to meet someone without talking over the phone. That's the reason why I'm waiting with anything including phone. It just doesn't feel right to hide things like this from my parents. His parents are in Pak, but he has his Mamoo who's living in the uk. He is waiting for my turn, but it's just that I want him to meet me.
I guess I should consider other options. I already said I won't compromise on education and I don't wanna do his part of the job either. So far I have my concerns about his opinion about my wish to obtain a degree, how he thinks we will be financially stable (he said he wants to start MBA) and how he thinks he will convince my parents and what role his parents will play in this process. Just confused.
I said he was/is to my liking, never called it a ''real relationship''.
Thanks for all those advices that I have been given in this thread, including the harsh ones. Will take them into consideration. :)
Main reason for posting my issue was because I seriously hope other girls going through the very same prob will read this and will make up their minds before it will be too late. I was one of those who condemned online dating because of the huge risks but if it can happen to me then it can happen to anyone else.
Also as far as I know I haven't done something bad or disgusting so far and definitely not intending to do something wrong. But yea it wasn't smart what I did.
Re: Facebook..
exactly SK if v strt pointing out who to blame v can get a long list as i posted before parents should keep an eye wht r there kids doing
Re: Facebook..
keeping an eye is little bit different, my problem with the whole society is that parents are failing to teach their kids whats right and whats wrong despite the fact that it is very natural - if you can teach your kids how to walk for the first time, why in the world not tell them not to fool around with random guys on the internet, or for son not to ruin girl's feeling/lives in the name of timepass/thrill ...
exactly SK if v strt pointing out who to blame v can get a long list as i posted before parents should keep an eye wht r there kids doing
Re: Facebook..
this is not a real relationship. the emotions you feel are for someone your mind has created. you are setting yourself up for disaster. let him go.
Agree with Sahar. The human mind is a pretty powerful thing. Our own imagination/fantasies can make a person appear so much more amazing than they are in real life. And we get so caught up in this....that we overlook the red flags staring us in the face or we fail to consider the matter thoroughly.
1) I may be wrong, but it seems like this guy is the first one you've really fallen for. And first "loves", especially, are pretty potent. I put quotations around the word "love" because while you believe that's the emotion you feel for him.....I think it's more of a naive infatuation...and having been through my own share of that.....you may not realize this until much later down the road. I also think that the ROOT of your problem is low self-esteem. It doesn't look like you respect/value yourself that much, Aniesa....to allow this guy to have so much power over you.
2) You say that this guy has been "patient" with you and your demands, etc. Well, let's ake a look at some things. You said that you wanted to make your parents proud by completing your education. Now, if you have told your boyfriend about this.....and he STILL told you that you don't need to continue your eduction........then that shows he has no respect for the goals that you and your parents have. For argument's sake...let's say that this guy doesn't want you to study because he wants to be the provider in a marriage......well he doens't have a degree and he's failed his courses.....so he doesn't have the ability to provide for a wife. That indicates that he's pretty foolish/naive. Financial security is important...marriages don't run on love alone. If this guy had a sister........do you really think that he'd want HIS OWN sister to go traveling to the UK to meet some stranger guy without informing her parents? Of course not because he knows that it's dangerous and also that such a step can ruin a girl's reputation and that of her family. The more "izzatdar" thing for him to to do would be to man-up and talk to the girl's parents. That's what he would want for his own sister as well. Also, he should respect you at ALL times. There is no excuse for him to act mean to you on purpose just to "test" your love for him.
3) So, this guy is pressuring you to travel to the UK. He knows how desi culture would perceive that....but since he doesn't care much about you and your family's reputation.......then that really just means he doesn't love you. When you truly love someone, Aneisa, you avoid doing things that would jeopardize them in any way. He's willing to jeopardize your izzat, your education, you safety.....so what are you hoping for? Referring back to the points above......you basically have a guy who is not financially stable or devoted to his education, who doesn't care about your goals and priorities, who wants YOU to do all the work, and who loves to play head games. He got you to pay a truck load of money and buy a plane ticket to the UK. Wow, he has you eating out of the palm of his hand. You're bending over backwards to do whatever he wants and he's not even meeting you half-way. And at this point you'll argue and say, "Nahin nahin...I sometimes get mad and ignore him and don't respond to him for days, so I'm not a doormat." Um...yeah you are. If you truly respected yourself, you'd wait for a guy who is more mature, more settled, respects you, and will go about things in a respectful fashion. And there are guys out there who meet those standards as they're not unreasonable. Respect yourself first and you'll know what you're worth and what you should hold out for.
4) I actually disagree with those who are suggesting that she ask the guy to meet her parents. Frankly speaking, I wouldn't even want him to meet my family. A guy who doesn't respect me, is not secure, and is emotionally manipulative......YUCK! This may sound cold, but I'd feel embarrassed to waste my family's time like that. But I DO understand that, parents being more observant and experienced, may be able to reason with their naive kids better.
5) I don't know what it is that you find "attractive" about this guy. Is it the sweet/romantic/filmi words that says to you? It's not hard to give a pretty speech. Words mean nothing if they're not backed up by consistent actions. Pay close attention to his actions....and lack thereof....and the inconsistencies.
**6) **Don't throw your life way like this...no guy is worth it. Your educational goals, especially, (and you'll realize this later)...are among the things that will develop your character/future. Reflect over whether or not you have your priorities in order. I have friends who completed their education after marriage.....and it was very difficult.....for a few, they never made it. Think about all the pros and cons about this pseudorelationship.....especially about what you will lose in the bargain and what you've already lost. Best wishes.
Re: Facebook..
i actually mean the same its parents responsibilty to teach but they should also b knowing wht there kids r upto just teaching is not enough u have to keep a check on kids also