do i need to see a therapist or something?

Lifestyle Relationships
1

first of all i am not sure if this threat is suppose to go here, but since it’s a lifestyle forum, and i am taking about my lifestyle so i am posting it here.
if mods wants to move it. please let me know.

ok so here is my problem. i am this world’s biggest procrastinator. i wait till the last possible moment to do anything, and that has caused a lot of damage in my grade.
from example: in my circuit and electronics class we get take home exams. i got an exam last week on monday. i knew it is a hard exam and i don’t understand any of the material so i should start working on it ASAP so i can have few hours every day to work on it, and finish it on time.
did i do that? NO
and now i am sitting here trying to do the exam when it’s due tomorrow morning and i have only gotten 2 problems done in more than two hours.
i was keep waiting till the last moment when i knew very well it can not be done in one night only.
and that’s not the only thing, i do that with my every single class. sometimes i still get to study enough and do well, most of the time, i don’t do good at all.
i know i am capable of better grade if i work hard enough and study while i still have time, NOT at the last moment.
**BUT I JUST CAN’T DO THAT. **
i would watch stupid movies, go through ppl’s pages on facebook, COME HERE AND READ PPL’S POST, or just do nothing at all. but not work on my exams, or study, or do assignment.

can someone please help me how to stop my self from procrastinating and do things on time?
it’s not even that i enjoy procrastinating. while i am procrastinating, anticipating studying, i feel depressed and all those thoughts “i wish i can die”, “what the purpose of this life” kind of thoughts comes in my mind and i feel horrible, but** I JUST WOULD NOT DO THE RIGHT THING** and start studying, instead i continue being depressed over the thought of upcoming studying and wouldn’t actually start till the last moment.

how can i improve my self, do i need to see a therapist? i was literally thinking about asking my dad today if i our insurance cover psychologist/therapist (what ever they called)

someone help me, before i ruin my life even further

2

Re: do i need to see a therapist or something?

What is causing you to procrastinate? Sometimes we delay doing a task because we find it unpleasant. And studying for a test, especially if it is for a subject that you find difficult, is not pleasant. But, nevertheless, it has to get done. So, ask yourself, are you afraid of the task that you need to complete?

Secondly, tell yourself that you'll enjoy your recreational activities (watching movies and stalking people on Facebook) with more peace of mind if you complete your more serious tasks first. Seriously, you can't thoroughly enjoy your movie if you constantly have the nagging thought of studying for a test in the back of your mind. So get the work out of the way, and then have your fun with more sukoon.

Tell yourself that procrastinating can make the difference between having a job or being fired. It can make the difference between being healthy or unhealthy. And tell yourself that it can potentially destroy your relationships with others. If people (teachers, your boss, friends, family) are counting on you to get something done and you frequently fail to deliver, then they lose trust in you.

If you don't like doing a huge amount of work in one day, then break up a big project into smaller tasks. And each day, assign yourself to complete one small task. For example, if your essay is due on Friday, then tell yourself that you will at least have the introduction completed by Monday. Make dua to Allah about your problem. Recite the Ayatul Kursi and 3 Quls as protection from whispers of Shaitan. And try to become regular in your daily prayers. Being timely or punctual in namaz might encourage you to be timely in other aspects of your life. Hope this helps. And go easy on yourself. It's normal for most people to slack off at times :)

3

Re: do i need to see a therapist or something?

you suffer from what we call...being a student.

happens to the best of us.

send ur payent via cash to my address. thanks

therapist-sara.

4

you can't be worse than me. I bought a book on procrastination and then never finished it. how's that for procrastinating?

on a serious note, you need to identify why you procrastinate. read this book "The Now Habit" or any other ones on Amazon that people recommend. this book helped me figure out that I procrastinate because Im a perfectionist in a weird/ironic sort of way. if I have to do something, I want to knock it out of the park but Im also worried that it won`t live up to my own expectations. nothing less than the absolute best will do. so, the fear of not being able to do that makes me put things off. and eventually I end up rushing everything.

the above probably doesn`t make sense. the book explained it way better. the point is that you need to identify the underlying reasons why you procrastinate. once you do that, you can take care of them and that should help the procrastinating part. try to get the book I mentioned or the one of the other recommended ones on amazon. they should really help.

5

Re: do i need to see a therapist or something?

I'm actaully in the same situation...but i just thought it was normal...nothing to worry that much about like ppl said...your a student...that comes with the territory! So please don't get to worked up on this...there's nothing wrong with you, save your money..don't see a shrink :P

I would suggest having a buddy system. I'm sure you have friends that are going to school with you...I would ask them to study together and that way you have some motivation! I sometimes like going to the library to study because i see all the other students racking their brains out trying to cram for exams and it makes me feel better lol...it's nice to know that your not alone, and everyone is going thru this!

6

Re: do i need to see a therapist or something?

thanks for all the replies guys

spcially thanks to you sara for the analysis, but i want a solution :p

@malika12 i will look for those books, i love reading so i think that might help.

here is the deal. ALHAMDULILAH i do pray regularly but even with my namaz, most of the time i wait till the last possible time to go pray for it get qaza. i know how wrong it is, but i have failed to gotten over this problem.

the funny thing is that i didn't faced this problem when i used to work. i actually did everything on time, except the very end of my job before i resigned because i started hating it there, so maybe who ever suggested that i may procratinate because it's not enteresting for me anymore might be right.

but i have taken some classes which i really enjoyed but even in those classes i procrastinate and risked my grade.

there has to be a solution, i can't let my self ruin my grade anymore when i know i can do much much better. but when ever i think of doing thing on time, i always think "i will start from tomorrow" which has never came.

i like the idea of studying with someone, and honestly that has helped me a lot, but problem is finding a buddy who will study with me. i can't stay on campus very late and most of the people who i know like to study late after their classes end for the day, or at home.

except one math class in all the other 4 classes i am the ONLY girl. i don't have problem studying with guys, but i can't go their houses to study.

so here is my sad story.

all i need is to overcome my stupid procrastinating habit. once i get over this i can do better.
but i don't know what to do. i am really frustrated and hating my self for waisting my life doing nothing.

How many languages can you speak and What language would you like to learn..
7

Re: do i need to see a therapist or something?

Hey i think most of your procrastinating problems arise because you try to distract yourself with other things ... it has happend to me in the past and these days i'm a bit of a procrastinator myself just because i have been out of nerding mode for a lil too long ... so what i suggest is that you force yourself to sit on your lappy (i assume u study with ur laptop and books) and lock urself in your room and turn the hardware switch for the internet off so you can't go online without actually puttin an effort ... instead of setting yourself work goals that i need to finish this much before i take a break set yourself time goals that i'll take a break at this this time no matter how much or how lil work i get done and that way u can study with ease without worryin about how much work u have to get done ... i know the first couple of days it'll be really really hard and soon u'll ease into it :) ... hope it helps

8

Re: do i need to see a therapist or something?

You procrastinate now because you have the freedom to do so. You have no system in your life, no schedule, no structure. When you were working, you used to have a job that made you wake up at a certain time, and come back at a certain time, and you had to follow it. you were given a lunch break so you ate at a regular time, and that made you hungry when you came home, so you ate then and got dinner out of the way. and then you reserved the later time for studying. maybe now you also have a better/faster internet connection so going online is more enjoyable. Basically you used to have a routine, and now that everything is more flexible, you are able to procrastinate.

the same thing happened to me. once i got a more flexible schedule, it made me less productive, not more and i began procrastinating to the extreme. I'm procrastinating right now- i have an essay due tomorrow and I'm still working on it :(. I was never like this before- i used to get my work done and sleep on time.

YOu need to do things that force you to have structure. So go to the library to study or study where you are forced away from distractions. make a study buddy so that you will force yourself to meet up and study together- not necessarily by talking about the material but just sitting in the same area and studying separately. You have a hard time disciplining yourself, so you need someone to help you do it. Go to a therapist if you want to but you can try this as well.

9

Re: do i need to see a therapist or something?

Maybe you need to switch your focus of study into something more interesting to you?

10

Re: do i need to see a therapist or something?

OMG this is what excatly what happens to me!!!!!(yaaaay im not the only one, so releived)

11

i LOVE my major, but i don't like every single class that i have to take.

i am just hopelessly procrastinator (is that a word?)

To those who are ashamed of being Pakistanis or related to Pakistan or Muslims...
To those who are ashamed of being Pakistanis or related to Pakistan or Muslims...
12

Re: do i need to see a therapist or something?

wow..you sound like me (sometimes). last week i did something really stupid. i had a very difficult term paper (10 pages ) and a midterm last wednesday, so ofcourse i don't worry about it until last tuesday. i start working on the paper at 10 pm, finish at 7:00 am, get ready for school and leave. now i was done with my paper, but i hadn't studied for my exam. so i skip my first class and go to the library, study for an hr and then go to my next class to take the exam. i don't know why i do this to myself..i was walking around on campus like a zombie from lack of sleep. (i'm the kind who needs like 12 hrs of sleep to function properly). you know what the worst part is? it works. i ended up getting a's. i work best under pressure, it's the only time where i'm ACTIVELY studying. no matter how hard to i try to study before time, i'll be looking at my textbook and pretending i'm studying but i'll actually be daydreaming or something.

when you figure out how to fix this problem, let me know!

Christian Professor Arrested for Blasphemy in Pakistan
13

Marwah, I am exactly the same as you. I have been doing this to myself since last month.
Good thing for you is that it works out great for you. I screw it up.

I dont know what is it. I am tired all the time and just procrastinating. It's honestly is becoming a disease.

Timepass November 2014 (Iqbal ka maheena)
Timepass November 2014 (Iqbal ka maheena)
14

Re: do i need to see a therapist or something?

Have you guys tried the rewards method...It works for me more often than not...bascially you set a goal for yourself (either say I'm going to read this many chapters, or i'm gonna spend this amt of hrs productivly studying...KEYWORD ...PRODUCTIVE! and then if you reach it you can have a SMALL break, or eat something yummay or go on gupshup :P...etc etc..but only if you actually get the work done! This does however involve willpower! But I'm sure if you put your mind to it you can accomplish anything!

It also helps if you don't think negative thoughts like "oh man why am I even attempting this I know i'm gonna do bad..." Think to yourself wow this is actually so easy and I can get this done!! It's suprisingly easy to do and it actually does work...80% of the time (in my case) procrastination actually is all a mental state where I don't want to do the work cause I find it too hard...and I keep putting it off.

Or I just am too lazy to actually get started...in which case I'm screwed over in the end!

15

Re: do i need to see a therapist or something?

I am not trying to be too judgmental but my observation of desi people, mostly women is that they do things at the last minute.

They invite people for dinner and still cutting onion when guests are in the house to get entertained.

Many non-desi women plan everything like vacation, holidays, kids school meeting, dinner or wedding preparations etc. weeks ahead but so many desi women may not even buy a gift or a b'day card till they are on their way to the party. And then the desis arrive late at the party since women still trying to figure out what to wear.

In general it comes from how these desi people are raised. It seems like a south east asian culture.

So to answer OP question. No. This would make therapists very busy and rich!!!

Am I going to get beaten up for this? :-)

16

Re: do i need to see a therapist or something?

^actually, i do this last minute business ONLY when it comes to school

Asia Bibi's husbands open letter to Pakistani president
17

Re: do i need to see a therapist or something?

^ same with me!

But that's an interesting observation Diwana!

18

Good. :-)

I was merely talking about general thinking pattern.

19

Re: do i need to see a therapist or something?

im the same - in fact im up at 5am doing nothing

urdu tool
20

...thanks for the reply marwah,
you know the problem is that when i was in high school or earlier years of my college that crash study used to work very well for me. i used to study few hours right before the exam or do the paper a night before it's due and i used to get really nice grades. NOW since i am taking classes that are much harder and require a lot of understanding i can't do that anymore, and this is why it's getting even more frustrated with me. but the problem is that i have spoiled my self SO BAD from back then when i still used to get good grades from crash studying.
for example, i taking this microprocessors class, and i never ever had that class before, i wasn't even familiar of the content when i stepped in the class. learning microprocessors language is like learning french, or some really hard foreign language :S
it wasn't like biology or psychology where just reading every chapter makes me ready to take the test, it's a class where i need to understand things, take time and work out the actual stuff to understand. which i didn't do and now i have pay for it :(
i wish i can break away from that bad habit, but even right now if i think about any upcoming test or paper i think, oh i have time, i will do it. and just couldn't get around doing it till the last moment.