Re: Delaying having kids after marriage for few years?
They were practiced during the Prophet pbuh’s time and they were not prohibited:
The verse in Quran speaks about not killing your children for fear of poverty. It does not talk about preventing them being conceived.
As for the OP, I completely believe in waiting a few years before having kids. Marriage is in itself a huge responsibility, there is no point in diving into parenthood after just nine months when you’re not even ready for it. Although my mum’s expectations do freak me out sometimes, only today she was telling me how she can’t wait for me to get married so we can little grandkids running around.
Re: Delaying having kids after marriage for few years?
They were practiced during the Prophet pbuh's time and they were not prohibited:
The verse in Quran speaks about not killing your children for fear of poverty. It does not talk about preventing them being conceived.
Yes I am aware of this verse. But one can see clearly, it was neither prohibited nor recommended. One group of scholars says because he was silent, it means it is prohibited and the other group holds the opposite views.
Re: Delaying having kids after marriage for few years?
Yes I am aware of this verse. But one can see clearly, it was neither prohibited nor recommended. One group of scholars says because he was silent, it means it is prohibited and the other group holds the opposite views.
Silence cannot be held to mean prohibition, that is most ridiculous indeed. All prohibited acts are clearly mentioned and prohibited. If it was meant to be prohibited the Prophet pbuh wouldn't leave it to chance, he would have expressly outlawed it. Not everything has to be expressly recommended to be allowed.
Re: Delaying having kids after marriage for few years?
Yes I am aware of this verse. But one can see clearly, it was neither prohibited nor recommended. One group of scholars says because he was silent, it means it is prohibited and the other group holds the opposite views.
I AGREE WITH U..... The pills are said to be more private and less invasive so it is prohibited...After 8wks mark, surgery is the best option which might be considered wrong.
Re: Delaying having kids after marriage for few years?
I AGREE WITH U..... The pills are said to be more private and less invasive so it is prohibited...After 8wks mark, surgery is the best option which might be considered wrong.
Re: Delaying having kids after marriage for few years?
why is this so hard to understand? Delaying kids without a good reason isn’t right. Now this good reason could be different acc. to people’s priorities. If one of the parents is getting an education and needs some time for that, or if they are financially unstable at that moment then yes that seems like somewhat of a good enough reason to delay children. But to wait for stability in the relationship for me isn’t. Simple matter of opinion, since that’s what the OP asked right
Re: Delaying having kids after marriage for few years?
Silence cannot be held to mean prohibition, that is most ridiculous indeed. All prohibited acts are clearly mentioned and prohibited. If it was meant to be prohibited the Prophet pbuh wouldn't leave it to chance, he would have expressly outlawed it. Not everything has to be expressly recommended to be allowed.
leave the poor thing alone!!! :p...... Majority of Muslim scholars permit abortion, although they differ on the stage of fetal development beyond which it becomes prohibited. In Islam, the fetus is believed to become a living soul after four months of gestation.
Abortion is allowed in these 4 conditions:
Before four months of gestation, threat to the woman's life, rape. and fetal deformity
Re: Delaying having kids after marriage for few years?
All recommended acts are also recommended quite clearly. And I'm quoting a religious scholar in this regard.
By that logic, the Quran and Hadith are silent over the issue of driving a car. Should I stop driving then? The fact that the Prophet PBUH knew about the contraception method being practised at that time, and yet did not say anything, does that seem like something that would be prohibited?
The fact is, if a child is meant to be conceived, no amount of contraception will prevent it from happening. That is Allah's will.
Re: Delaying having kids after marriage for few years?
By that logic, the Quran and Hadith are silent over the issue of driving a car. Should I stop driving then? The fact that the Prophet PBUH knew about the contraception method being practised at that time, and yet did not say anything, does that seem like something that would be prohibited?
No. becuz the issue of driving a car wasn't brought up in front of the Prophet (p.b.u.h). Such issues are dealt with qiyas and ijma that aren't mentioned in the Quran or dealt with by Prophet (may peace be upon him). That is even if they are issues to begin with.
The fact is, if a child is meant to be conceived, no amount of contraception will prevent it from happening. That is Allah's will.
Re: Delaying having kids after marriage for few years?
coitus interruptus is definatly an acceptable form of contraception. The only condition is that the husband asks his wifes permission before hand (he does not need permission if it is a slave girl).
As for delaying children, I don't think there is a wrong or right answer, it depends on the couple. If it was a hardcore arranged marriage (no talking before nikkah) then maybe they should wait untill they are settled and sure the marriage will work. If they have been engaged for years and know each other well maybe there is no need to wait. There's no one size fits all answer.
Re: Delaying having kids after marriage for few years?
No. becuz the issue of driving a car wasn't brought up in front of the Prophet (p.b.u.h). Such issues are dealt with qiyas and ijma that aren't mentioned in the Quran or dealt with by Prophet (may peace be upon him). That is even if they are issues to begin with.
Well that is sort of what I'm trying to say. If a matter that was wrong was brought up in front of the Prophet pbuh, how could he not have something to say about it? As our prophet he would've forbidden it but chose not to. The fact that this was actually brought up in front of him makes its acceptability in Islam ironclad.
Re: Delaying having kids after marriage for few years?
So i was thinking...
Is it a good idea to delay having kids in marriage by few years.......so that the couple can figure out whether they get along or not. Since having kids early would add to the complexities...
what is your take on this?
would you delay? and by how many years?
and why?
I think if thats the case, a couple should refrain from sex also, till they figure out some common grounds and clear out compatibility issues...
Re: Delaying having kids after marriage for few years?
Well that is sort of what I'm trying to say. If a matter that was wrong was brought up in front of the Prophet pbuh, how could he not have something to say about it? As our prophet he would've forbidden it but chose not to. The fact that this was actually brought up in front of him makes its acceptability in Islam ironclad.
I agree with that. All I'm saying is one can't say it was recommended. The Prophet (PBUH) did not say one should practice this for family planning.
Re: Delaying having kids after marriage for few years?
No one's stopping you from having 20 kids. Go for it, even if it means half your kids don't get to attend university.
Sorry, but your reply is very irrelevant and doesn't reflect exactly what you want to say....The original question is to "WHETHER TO DELAY SEX TILL A COUPLE FIGURE OUT IF THEY ARE MADE FOR EACH OTHER OR NOT".............RIGHT
why is this so hard to understand? Delaying kids without a good reason isn’t right. Now this good reason could be different acc. to people’s priorities. If one of the parents is getting an education and needs some time for that, or if they are financially unstable at that moment then yes that seems like somewhat of a good enough reason to delay children. But to wait for stability in the relationship for me isn’t. Simple matter of opinion, since that’s what the OP asked right 
