children and threading

Lifestyle Parenting, Household Affairs and Cuisine corner
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Re: children and threading


Not unhygienic per se, but it's a part of grooming yourself. You want to appear your best....well-put together. =/

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Re: children and threading

I guess its my understanding of unhygenic is like something that affects your physical health or makes u smell bad....like I think underarm/private part hair grooming is hygenic and leaving it alone is unhygenic... but not arm/leg/face....

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Re: children and threading

10 seems pre puberty. 13 seems like right on puberty, I know there is no magic number, Maybe I am thinking that when I did it.

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Re: children and threading

Because SHORT TERM HELP might not be the right solution. An easy solution is sure why not go ahead thread it off. But then you open doors for "someone said I was fat, or my nose is crooked, or my hair is too curly". Just don't want to give my gals an easy out.

Low self esteem doesn't just fester from looks. Confidence can build from participating in sports and other activities and being a part of a community or having a great group of friends that doesn't value if one has a mustache or not. Parents have a responsibility to give that to their children as well.

From a personal experience, I was an ugly duckling but I was never bullied. I was raised alongside white blonde naturally beautiful girls and never felt pretty enough or worthy enough. But my parents told me that I was a wonderful person every day and my looks didn't matter in this life but my personality did. One day it sunk in. It didn't at 13. But it did at 18. I am so glad they did that. It really carried me through brutal risthas, aunties telling me that I would get a better person to marry if I lost 10 pounds, relationships and even my career where it didn't matter what I looked like. At one point, I knew I was good enough with or without a bit of facial hair.

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Re: children and threading

I think this decision has to be accompanied with a conversation with your daughter about why she wants to do this and why you may feel it is too early. Also a conversation that helps her see her whole self, rather than the parts that bother her.

The reason I asked the age question is because I don't actually know how you decide these things. I don't think it can be about how I was raised or how my mother was raised, etc. The world has changed a lot, and quickly. And kids are physically, emotionally, and intellectually different.

If you know that one day you WILL let her do these things, I think when that day will be has to determined by when you feel the need arises and when you feel she is ready.

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Re: children and threading

Another thing I wanted to say is getting bullied or not is a whole seperate issue. When a young girl is conscious of facial hair she should be allowed to take care of it rather than making her believe she looks fine just the way she is. Ofcourse she is fine, however, I believe not letting her do anything about it will hurt her self esteem a lot more.

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Re: children and threading

but that is reflective of their own personal values; i don't think a parent who allows their child a boob job or a nose job would do so if they themselves weren't ok with it. waxing and threading are different in that they are two things that almost every girl i know does at some point in her life. it isn't taboo, it isn't a permanent alteration of their being, its not cost prohibitive. more importantly, if it helps them feel more confident about themselves and keeps them from becoming a target for bullies, then i guess i don't see the harm. if your daughter had acne, would you also prevent her from getting treatment for it, even though it would be purely cosmetic?

building up your daughter's self-esteem and instilling self-confidence and self-worth in her are a given. i don't think allowing personal grooming into the mix should mess with that.

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Re: children and threading

[QUOTE]
i don't think allowing personal grooming into the mix should mess with that.
[/QUOTE]

Nowadays lines of personal grooming and cosmetic enhancements are blurring. Depends what circle you hang out with to determine what the norm is.

Manicured nails - grooming or cosmetic? (I opened a thread on that a while ago)
Microdermabrasion for acne - grooming or cosmetic?
Laser treatment for removing hair permanently - grooming or cosmetics?

In a way - its good that many options are out there for young girls. Just have to make sure one is mentally ready for them.

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Re: children and threading

^ thats it. i guess it comes down to each individual child and what you think she may or may not be ready for. i know i had to fight my mom on the eyebrow threading issue. i got mind down for the first time at 17 or 18 i think and with the support of my aunt.

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Re: children and threading

My daughter has hair on her arms and legs. She’s just a little kid but she does get teased by the older kids. She doesn’t understand that they’re actually teasing her and just smiles back at them (bless her little heart) but it breaks my heart to hear 7/8/9 year old boys and girls go “ewwww she has hairy legs like a boy” :smack: To me my kid is beautiful! No matter what and I will make sure she knows that she’s beautiful! BUT kids can be very very mean and if, in the future, she gets teased or bullied about it I will make sure to fix it. I think we, as mothers, have a duty to protect our children from any kind of cruelty the best we can and I would never let my child get bullied and not do anything about it. Talking to teachers, the bully’s parents will just fix it temporarily. Children will be children and they WILL continue on with the teasing and bullying. I’ve experienced it first hand as a kid and I will not let my daughter go through it.

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Re: children and threading

It's funny, this past weekend, my sisters and I went with their four daughters for a pedicure afternoon. The girls range in age - the youngest is 5 and the oldest is 11. It was an exclusively an indulgent afternoon where the girls got to feel a little grown up and pampered. Did any of us need a pedicure, absolutely not. Do I remember getting a pedicure before I was in my 20s - nope. My own mum never believed in them. But what is cosmetic, is not necessarily a bad thing and these grooming services don't necessarily have a specific age - I think the intention behind it is key. The girls know that the pedicure is an indulgence and will not be regularly repeated. They know that a pedicure in and of itself doesn't make them more attractive - so yes some cosmetic services are just that.

In my mind, I'd prefer for the girls to be a lot older before they ask for waxing/threading. But at the same time, I remember shaving my legs at 12-13 - I used to wear gym shorts in phys-ed classes and I felt self-conscious about my legs. Funny enough, I waited until I was 18-19 before the first time I ever threaded my upper lip, and my eyebrows weren't done until a few years later. One's self-image and how they fit into the group can't be dismissed. So as someone who remembers cosmetic/grooming services for myself at younger ages - I'd be a hypocrite to suggest that girls not get the same services for themselves.

I think the key is what a lot of people above have mentioned - having a conversation with the child and keeping in mind the child's maturity. The child needs to understand that a cosmetic/grooming service doesn't define their self-worth.

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Re: children and threading

Ok, seeing all the mentions of 'boob jobs are extreme' as someone who's had the procedure I kinda feel I need to post..

If an ADULT feels they'd like to improve on what nature gave them and IF it's not damaging them or affecting others in any way I really can't see why ppl have a problem with it.. I do wonder if ppl would have such a problem with nose jobs (I'm guessing not as so many Pak/Indian/Iranian celebs have had that done and they aren't seen in such a negative light).. I really can't understand how extreme skin whitening, nose jobs etc. are considered ok but a boob job is somehow not.. How is that more of an issue than any other procedure that is permanent or semi-permanent plus usually much more visible?

Sorry for the rant, I just get the feeling that those of us who've had boob jobs are often labelled as being obsessed with looks and self-image.. To those who have said a person just ends up wanting more and more work done there isn't a single other procedure I would have done before I marry (or even before I have kids), not even botox or fillers as some others on GS have mentioned they would like done.. That's just my personal preference.. I don't thread my own upper lip or brows so I can't be that vain or on some sort of obsessive 'slippery slope' and despite having had cosmetic surgery myself I would NEVER actively encourage a child to do it.. If my (future) daughter wants to go down that route once she is old enough and mature enough to understand the plus and minus points plus any future consequences that is her choice but I wouldn't help fund it it.. At the end of the day once she's an adult it's her decision and if she's smart enough to go to uni and stand on her own two feet I'll assume she's smart enough to make that decision herself..

If my daughter was in the situation the OP described at 10 I would be reluctant for her to get threaded but IF she was adamant and IF I thought it would be causing more trouble for her to leave it I prob would let her.. Same goes for removing hair from her legs etc. Every child is different tho and so is every situation.. There's no definite yes or no answer imo

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Re: children and threading

Thank you for the explaining your views. I have a better understanding as to why you feel the way you do about threading. For what its worth....I will say somthing to address the above.

There is a BIG difference between feeling like an ugly duckling b/c of something that was going on inside of you versus feeling like an ugly duckling b/c your peers are telling you that there is something wrong with your looks. I think its great that your parents told you that you're wonderul despite your looks. But in your specific case, you were blessed to be in a school where your fellow classmates did not tell you otherwise (ie. you were never picked on/bullied). I do not fault you for not understanding fully what a child/pre-teen truly goes thought when that happens.

I'm truly hope your daughter is just as lucky as you were in this respect (ie. never experiences bullying). BUT in the event that someday she does come and ask you help.....please also try to understand what she might feel when she's in the school without you next to her and is forced to listen to taunts. No matter how much wisdom you pass on at home....being in school for hours and hours....day after day....week after week....and listening to other people isolate you and tell you how weird/ugly/unlovable etc. you are is EXTREMELY difficult for a child/pre-teen to ignore.

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Re: children and threading

^ Agreed!

^ THIS!

I have no idea how getting rid of hair face b/c a child is getting bullied and asks her mother for help is being compared to boob jobs. That’s like saying that allowing a child to wear shorts during gym class is going to make them become a nudist someday! :smack:

Do any of you actually know anyone who had a boob job done that was under 18? I mean seriously…lets be real here. Most pre-teens/teens aren’t stupid enough to ask their parents for a boob job. Bra stuffing has been the preferred method of cleavage in that age range for years and will not go away anytime soon. Not only that…MOST surgeons won’t do these types of procedures on someone who hasn’t finished puberty yet.

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Re: children and threading

I did threading on my daughter, she is 11. Waxing is not good , it creates infection on sensitive skin. I am sorry I did it early but I don't want my daughter to get bullied and I don't mind taking care of personal hygiene sooner.

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Re: children and threading

UZ - how often she need need to thread. Do you take care of it at home? or take her to salon?

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Re: children and threading

Personally, I don’t have a problem with a 10 year old removing facial hair, but the intentions are not right here. No bully or ‘friend’ should dictate how a child should dress, look, or act. I used to chase my younger sisters after their mustache (guess I was their bully :D). Thankfully they never caved in and only allowed me until THEY felt when they were ready.

Njgal, MashaAllah your parents have taught you really well to handle this situation, app hamein kyoun sata raheen hein :snooty: Waisay you are clearly the right choice for mod for this forum.

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Re: children and threading

[QUOTE]
I do not fault you for not understanding fully what a child/pre-teen truly goes thought when that happens.
[/QUOTE]

that's true Paheli. I don't know bullying first hand and still haven't experienced that with my two daughters either. I also hope I never get to experience it through my kids. (somehow doubt that).

My very good friend was bullied and she keeps a very close eye on these type of things. She is up in teacher's faces. She is vigilant and a bit narcotic about exposing her kids to environments where things like this would happen. Since her kids (both boy and a girl) were 5, she has talked to them openly on dinner table about her own experience and what they should do. mA her kids seem to get it.

i agree - saddest thing would be if your kids couldn't talk to you or didn't you missed or dismissed the signs.

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Re: children and threading

I take her to saloon, or desi lady :D every 2 or 3 weeks. Because facial hairs and underarm hairs grows fast.

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Re: children and threading

njgal: I also hope you never experience it. :) I dealt with getting bullied starting in 6th grade....all the way through junior high (much of it was my looks). My parents refused to deal with b/c of the whole "widsom theory" (ie. looks don't matter...personality does....you'll grow out of it....focus on grades......we don't need to waste money on "cosmetic" stuff......blah blah blah).

By the time I got to high school, my self-esteem and social skiils were totally f*cked up. I was a honor student when it came to grades. But I had no friends and was very isolated emotionally. During the bus ride, lunch hour, time between classes in the hallway and even in the girl's locker room/bathroom......believe me there were PLENTY of times when there was no adults around to stop it. I literally did not eat lunch in the cafeteria all through high school....not 1 single day b/c of sheer fear. I used to eat in the hallway, or outside on a bench by myself. If a teacher made me leave b/c I didn't have a "hall pass" and told me to go to the cafeteria.....I used to head to the bathroom and hide out in there (and yes, there were days when I ate in the bathroom too). Finally in 11th/12th grade I found a teacher who would let me stay in her class room during lunch....so I did that.

I can go on and on about MANY ways how my time in school during all those years was absolutely miserable. And believe me, it wasn't b/c my parents didn't tell me how pretty I was or how it's what on the inside that counts. They just had no idea what it was like for me to be surrounded by other kids who didn't give a sh*t about my "feelings". And guess what.....b/c of their refusal to actually help me early on....I never asked for help again or told them just how worse things got as time went on. It took me YEARS before I became somewhat normal...lol. Even when I met my hubby at 27....even then he would tell me that I was a loner and lacked social skills in group situations outside of work...lol. I changed my looks drastically in my early-mid 20's.....but my confidence/social skills is something I still have not mastered even 'til this day.

Anyway....enough of my ranting...lol. I think often adults become to focused on passing on certain values and become fearful of something truly drastic (ie. teens wanting boob jobs in this example!) that they forget the little things......such as what the child will go through when they go to school the next day. Just keep an open mind when it comes to your children. You come across as a very loving mother and I'm sure that you will do whatever it takes for your little ones to become strong women as they grow up. :)