Re: children and threading
but what makes 13 right?
Re: children and threading
but what makes 13 right?
On an average,maybe the age of menarche and when other changes of puberty are happening..!??!
Girls do start looking different and grown up rather than looking childish so some moms might think it is more appropriate at that age rather than at 10 years.
Just a thought..!
Re: children and threading
i'm not saying 10 is right. i'm just saying that just because we have fixed a number in our head doesn't mean that is what is right for our child. I think it's important to consider the situation and the need of the child in front of you.
Also, adolescence and puberty are hitting earlier and earlier.
Re: children and threading
If my kid had MAJOR self esteem issue I might give in.
But why wait until it becomes a "major" issue? Why force the child to experience sadness/depression when the solution is so simple/inexpensive/not against Islam?
I'm not a mother so maybe I'm having a hard time seeing this from the other side. But as someone who actually was bullied in elementary and junior high due to how I looked (stuff that was easily preventable if my mother had put some effort into it)......it's not something I would wish upon any child.
All the talk about teaching children to be proud of their looks and not care about what other say etc. sound great as a concept. But in reality.....when a 9/10/11/12/13 year olds hear cruel comments from their class mates.....it truly does have an impact on their confidence. I know this from 1st hand experience and also saw my sister experience it too. Of course I would never advocate something like plastic surgery to change a child's looks. But something as harmless as getting rid of facial hair........especially if the child herself is asking for help in dealing with the issue...........I just don't understand why any parent would ignore that request for help.
Re: children and threading
Being ugly duckling is not bad. It makes you value yourself more as a child growing up if you were not dolled up all the time.
I don't think anyone is advocating that little girls be dolled up all the time. And you're right in saying the being the ugly duckling can have the effect where the girl grows up to value herself more.
BUT....plenty of girls also go the other way where they fall victim to depression, eating disorders, self-cutting.....and even suicide in extreme cases b/c they were victims of bullying. I don't think anyone can actually predict how a child/teen will react to that negative experience.
Re: children and threading
i also don’t think a child needs to hear words of wisdom and self-esteem when they’re feeling anxious about being bullied at school, especially when it is something that is so easily preventable. those words of wisdom and lessons on self-esteem and being happy with who you are, are ongoing life lessons- they don’t start at 10 and they don’t end at 13 when puberty hits.
and i REALLY don’t think waxing the upper lip will lead to a request for a boob job! that’s exaggerating the argument, frankly. 
Re: children and threading
Paheli, I agree with every single word you just said!
Re: children and threading
All the talk about teaching children to be proud of their looks and not care about what other say etc. sound great as a concept. But in reality.....when a 9/10/11/12/13 year olds hear cruel comments from their class mates.....it truly does have an impact on their confidence.
Exactly what I wanted to say.
Teaching your child to have a good self image sounds excellent in theory however that is not how the real world works. When a friend approaches them asking "why do you have a mustache?", what are they supposed to say?
"I am still beautiful, my mommy says so"??????
Wish it worked that way, unfortunately it doesn't.
Re: children and threading
If ure kid can handle and bully back, leave it be
If she is the kind that gets emotional over what her friends may think of her, get it threaded.
I think waxing for a 10 yr old is too much stress on immature young skin.
A good threaded doesn't take more than a min and won't tug at the hair.
Re: children and threading
id go for waxing.. I suffered a lot of embarrassment and teasing when i started year 7 to the point i didnt ever want to go to school…
I didnt have a lot of facial hair, but i had hairy arms and legs… I let my mum know and she introduced me to the epilady (shudder) and waxing… however mum didnt know of too many places where someone else could wax for you… if she had known, or I had known, I would have gone to someone else to do it for me… doing it myself used to put me off majorly. The pain was oh too much..
My sis who is a lot fairer than myself and has darker hair than me, started a lot earlier with the eyebrow threading and moochein… I did my moochein i believe in like year 12 (almost 16-17)… she was around 11 when she started…
if munchkin wanted to wax/thread… I would let her.
Ive been waxing for a very very long time to the point I dont have much hair left.. and my skin is still tight, Alhamdulillah :k:
Re: children and threading
Since this is directed towards me I am answering. For you may be boob job is an extreme thing but for some flat chested teen and her parents it won’t be. Little facial hair is nothing compared to what girls who are flat chested have to endure in high school. I have seen parents allowing boob job as present to their daughters. Yes we can say it is horrible but their argument is exact same as many of you are putting forth. What good is just words of wisdom when they are ignored in particle life.
In this age both boy and girls, their bodies are changing in all sort of different ways. Some are getting taller some are developing early. As a parent you do what is best for your child and I think its better to instill values like self worth and confidence than to succumb to peer pressure.
Re: children and threading
Your kid is a little chubbier, do you put them on Atkins diet and liposection or just be glad that he/she is healthy and active.
Your kid is a shorty in the class, you put them on lifters or tell them Bonapart was short in stature too.
Your kid has skin discoloration, you put makeup on them or tell them not everyone is alike and you are beautiful the way you are.
Re: children and threading
I agree with bebo,if we will fix one thing they will demand another,
I and my 2 years young sister had thick upper lips,but my mother never allowed us wax/threading untill we were 16,
Now after few years when other sister turned 13 she wanted her upper lips waxed/threading my mom kept saying NO but then she wouldn't go to any gathering or wedding,so my mom had to give up and Took her for upper lip threading,
Few months letter she demand for eye brows threaing,then facial,face polish,face bleaching,so even before 15 she had all face service which was not even Necessary !
Re: children and threading
Oh and I never had any self esteem issue coz I knew, I had the most beautiful eyes and skin;
Masha Allah 
Re: children and threading
^ Kinzz its not that they may demand another thing, its is more of what values are important to you and your family.
Also bullying is a vicious and malicious act and victim is in no way responsible. You can be smart and beautiful kid yet some mean bully may try to put you down.
Re: children and threading
Your kid is a little chubbier, do you put them on Atkins diet and liposection or just be glad that he/she is healthy and active.
sorry... but if my child is chubby and on the unhealthy side, i would seriously think what kind of food I am providing to my child. Am I giving them the right choices, the healthy choices or saying its completely ok to give junk because my child is happy...
I am extremely strict with my childs diet.. not cus i think she'll get fat, but because i am afraid of other issues she could encounter whilst growing up.
As a parent, I have a responsibility to my child... and that includes watching my childs diet..
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Your kid is a shorty in the class, you put them on lifters or tell them Bonapart was short in stature too.
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this is very different to something u can actually help with....
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Your kid has skin discoloration, you put makeup on them or tell them not everyone is alike and you are beautiful the way you are.
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if skin discoloration is a massive issue... I would take my child to see a someone who specialises in this stuff... maybe my child is missing something in their diet... maybe he/she is not getting enough of something or is lacking something to help... makeup will be the last resort
ive grown up (since I was 11) with a massive horrendous scar on my chest, and have been wearing a bandaid on it for the past 21 years... my specialist actually recommended makeup to cover it... and ive had a lot of docs recommend things to me...
there is absolutely no harm in trying to "fix" something that may be a cause of your childs low self-esteem.
My parents have helped me with this my entire life... and i seriously thank them for it
Yes as a parent we need to make our kids feel happy in their shoes... but we also need to understand the amount of pressure they go through at school. We cant turn a blind eye to it and or give them words of wisdom and hope they get it... did we ever get it at their age? Sometimes... but most times it was hard... it was hard going to school and facing cruel jokes or being asked about why we were hairy... or being teased cus we were fat.. or being so puffed out during sports day.. its hurtful and damaging to our self esteem...
I wouldnt go get my daughter a boob job or lipscution... but i will difinitely try helping her however possible I could
Re: children and threading
@Bebo - You really are on a slippery slope when you compare hygienic things (unibrow/upper lip/arm or leg hair) to purely cosmetic things such as a boob job and lipo. I agree with what Paheli00 and a lot of other posters have said - why put your kid through the anguish/depression when it can be prevented so easily? What you're suggesting is really something that would work in an ideal situation (kid having enough confidence to put up with bullying etc)...unfortunately, we don't live in an ideal world. Each kid is different and reacts to life differently.
My little sister just started high school, and from a young age she's had a unibrow issue lol as well as dark upper lip hair. She was bullied but she also knew how to deal with it, however at the end of middle school...she wanted to remove her upper lip hair and the unibrow. She's confident as hell and has absolutely zero interest in any other cosmetic-ey stuff. Complete tomboy, really. Not every kid is like my sister or like some of us who never did anything but turned out fine...girls are cruel to other girls and it's just hard to judge how your child will react if you force the situation on them.
I don't think anyone is advocating to just let your child do whatever she wants and whenever she wants...I'm sure parents would also teach their child that they are beautiful and words don't matter etc. But teaching them how to look groomed and clean isn't going to cause superficiality. =/
Re: children and threading
A boob job is something I will NEVER allow (for myself or my child) as I don't believe there is a need for such alteration, ever. That is about learning to love oneself and seeing different things as beautiful.
Hair removal is different. I expect she will use these hair removal techniques eventually, as I do. I can understand and allow hair removal when needed. If I see a need and my daughter asked, I would consider it and hear her out.
Re: children and threading
Sadzz Healthy people come in all shapes and sizes. I no where said that you don't give your kids healthy food and encourage them to exercise but people can be chubby looking yet perfectly healthy.
You don't have to be slim and slender to be healthy. And you can confirm this with a nutoritionist if you want.
There is nothing wrong in being short just as there is nothing wrong in being dark. Only if a child know this he will be confident not that oh there is no fix so you have to live like this .
Skin discoloration does not have to be diet issue. It can be anything, heredity even. If you think putting on makeup is the best solution then its your opinion.
All I am trying to say is that self esteem is not developed or build by "fixing" things. Self worth is taught and learned through family values and behavior and it remains with people no matter how their body and face change.
Disclaimer.... My intent is not to judge or offend any one. You know what is best for you and your family. I am merely speaking how I feel about body image, self esteem and young girls/guys.
Re: children and threading
@Bebo - You really are on a slippery slope when you compare hygienic things (unibrow/upper lip/arm or leg hair)
how is upper lip/arm/leg hair unhygenic?