bi-racial relationships

[Das_Reich]

Thats exactly my point. WHen we see a white man telling his daughter not to date a black guy, we get so furious and say hes racist doesn't he know what century this is. Yet same thing happens in our own community but fail to see how racist it is. For us it's totaly justified to discourage inter racial marriages inorder to keep our own "culture and values" alive in future generation. Perhaps we think our culture, value and tradition are superior?

wow full marks for saying this !
as a desi i always felt the same , white communities are probably the least racist atleast in US.

[Deeba1234]

Thats exactly my point. WHen we see a white man telling his daughter not to date a black guy, we get so furious and say hes racist doesn't he know what century this is. Yet same thing happens in our own community but fail to see how racist it is. For us it's totaly justified to discourage inter racial marriages inorder to keep our own "culture and values" alive in future generation. Perhaps we think our culture, value and tradition are superior?

If u went onto Stormfront or some other racist website the arguments for only 'marrying within ur own' would be exactly the same that we hear in our communities yet like u pointed out for some reason desis have this mentality that thinking this way is somehow ok..

My Dad used to say to me half-jokingly 'why don't u marry an Asian man, I'll find someone nice for u' and I used to wind him up and answer 'what's the difference between u and the BNP? Oh yeah, nothing :D' I guess I'm lucky tho, he never asked or pressured me to give up my other half, have never had any of the arguments or the tough times some other desi girls and boys have had with their parents :)

[Deeba1234]

@farrah

that are some posts! i did read your bloc
some stuff in there is just crazy! pffffffffffff … my brain was just going wtfwtfwtfwtf …
btw … are honor killings much heard of?

Lol, can’t believe u read that the state it was in..

I read somewhere that the police reckon up to 12 or so honour killings take place in the UK every year. It’s not an epidemic but unfortunately it does still happen. I’ve put some links to some cases in ur other thread in Life1..

[Shamus]

Deeba seriously get over youself, you act like a right tool. Your not Pakistani, your a benga whom we Pakistani from North hav nothing in common with at all. A s a kashmiri, us and the bengaz are a diff race.No need to be ashamed to be bengali infact it gives me a clearer picture as to why your dating a white lad as bengaz have a huge inferiority complex with every race imaginable. As a Pakistani i have more in common with a chinese lad than bengi/indian/tamil/nepali..

I could never see myself marrying a non-pakistani but she has to be kashmiri, pashtun or Mirpuri as i want to be assured my kids will remain religious,well grounded and close to their culture.

[Deeba1234]

^ You obviously can't read Shamus (or rather 'shameonme' as someone else pointed out in Life1), my dad's from Pakistan and has a Pakistani passport, my mum has a Bangladeshi passport and she's mixed Bengali (also part Swedish/French). I've stated I'm part Bengali loads of times on this forum inc the fact that I speak Bengali better than Urdu.

How exactly does being with a white lad mean I have an inferiority complex?? Most ppl have said you seem to be the one with the problem, you're the one who bleats on about race in nearly all ur posts like u have a huge chip on ur shoulder. Didn't one of the mods even ask u if u'd been turned down by a white girl one time too many..

Everyone knows the type of guys who speak the way u do, they're underachievers or loners who are angry at the world and the only way they can feel good about themselves is by going on about 'racial purity' and 'pride.' The majority of Asian boys who have this attitude are just like the majority of losers who join the BNP.

You reckon I'm a 'tool' yet this is what others have said about you, half these comments are actually from mods:

'shamus you are indeed a shame to the Pakistani community' -

'Ignorance at its finest...Shamu...Ive deemed you unworthy of a response.'

*
*'I hope you dont represent Pakistan in the future because the ignorance is literally dripping from your posts.' *'It's obvious that you are extremely obsessed with only your culture and have no religious or moral views whatsoever.*'

*'Wow, shamus sounds like he's got too many issues, what is it bro, one too many non desi women say "no thanks" to you? You racist, ignorant jackass.'

*'Shamus shamus shamus, I already told you, why don't you take your rubbish hypocrisy somewhere else'

Oh, and u should be careful what u say on here or u'll end up getting chucked off the forums again, obviously people were getting irritated by all ur BS. So much for 'most ppl think like me.' You coudn't believe that there were more girls on here married or in mixed relationships. Well apart from Farrah some others who spring to mind sraight away are Mamaof3, SomeGroovyChick, Maroush, AthensBride and those are just off the top of my head.. so what was that rubbish about how it's so looked down on in here lol

[hareem01]

Re: bi-racial relationships

ahhh...this thread is still going on.

[farrah]

Deeba seriously get over youself, you act like a right tool. Your not Pakistani, your a benga whom we Pakistani from North hav nothing in common with at all. A s a kashmiri, us and the bengaz are a diff race.No need to be ashamed to be bengali infact it gives me a clearer picture as to why your dating a white lad as bengaz have a huge inferiority complex with every race imaginable. As a Pakistani i have more in common with a chinese lad than bengi/indian/tamil/nepali..

** I could never see myself marrying a non-pakistani but she has to be kashmiri, pashtun or Mirpuri** as i want to be assured my kids will remain religious,well grounded and close to their culture.

why hello!! aren't you the sweetest chap alive!

babe, better sooner than late (in your case) that you realize there is nothing pakistani or patriot about you. kashmir, pashtun-land and mirpur do not define the boundaries of pakistan. and with your frame of mind, i see you as more of an ancient hindu. even they aren't so racist anymore!

[Deeba1234]

Re: bi-racial relationships

^ Also, I love how there seems to be no clash in his mind between being religious and racist.. In Islam parents aren't even allowed to turn down a 'potential' on the basis of race or ethnicity..

[farrah]

Re: bi-racial relationships

^ true!

[tammy8604]

I could never see myself marrying a non-pakistani but she has to be kashmiri, pashtun or Mirpuri as i want to be assured my kids will remain religious,well grounded and close to their culture.

Keep up with the inbreeding.

[Mabrook]

^ Also, I love how there seems to be no clash in his mind between being religious and racist.. In Islam parents aren't even allowed to turn down a 'potential' on the basis of race or ethnicity..

where in Islam it says they r not allowed to do so? can u clarify with Islamic references.

[tammy8604]

Re: bi-racial relationships

Mabrook, it does say that any arab isn't superior to non arab and no non-arab is superior to an Arab.
That means that we cannot think that because we are hyderabadi, or kashimiri, or punjabi, or memon means OUR culture is better and we should keep it alive by marrying our own kind.

[Mabrook]

Re: bi-racial relationships

yes it says that but i'm not asking that i'm asking where it says parents r not allowed to refuse a proposal on basis of race or ethinicity.

[tammy8604]

Re: bi-racial relationships

If the kids want to get married to someone, they can do it themselves and not listen to parents because its their right to get married to whom they want.

[Mabrook]

Re: bi-racial relationships

this is just ur view. has nothing to do with islam coz islmically if a wali refuses to marry a virgin girl (of age)to her choice of guy the qazi won't proceed.

[tammy8604]

Re: bi-racial relationships

^It's allowed in islam to get married WITHOUT parents consent if they are beign unreasonable under a Minister or judge.
You have one distorted version of Islam.

[tammy8604]

Re: bi-racial relationships

Hence court marriages are allowed in most muslim countries because parents can be so ridiculously racist and narrow minded sometimes.

[Deeba1234]

@Mabrook

this is just ur view. has nothing to do with islam coz islmically if a wali refuses to marry a virgin girl (of age)to her choice of guy the qazi won’t proceed.

If her wali refuses for unIslamic reasons such as race she can appoint another one such as older brother (if she’s Hanafi she doesn’t require wali’s permission anyway tho obviously better if she gets it). We aren’t expected to put up with oppression from parents, this is just brainwashing from culture. Like I said before parents are not allowed to refuse a proposal if their daughter/son wants to go ahead on the basis of race or ethnicity, it isn’t just my opinion:

‘culture alone is not a valid criterion to reject a suitor. The basis in the Hanafi school is that a woman has the right to choose whom to marry, and the guardian only has a legal right to refuse when the individual is unsuitable.’

Source: Marriage outside my own culture and frustration at the attitudes of our parents

It’s not a very full answer, I’ll find a better one and add here later..

[Antumul_alona]

Re: bi-racial relationships

I know a paki girl who married a black man, but it didn't work out. She has a child and now due to the stigma with divorcees she can't get married again. Girl was unsettled due to family background and did not get schooling finished. Married in the wrong circle. Never settled down.

Another one from bengali heritage but US born and bred, married a white guy who converted to islam, and they were doing well alhamdolillah. Nice guy. Girl was a dedicated social worker for the state. Guy was a librarian.

Many cases of white women and Arab men (immigrants). Most working out- alhamdolillah.
I know some family's personally.

All in all, to me it seems that it all depends on the circumstances. If the people marry for the right reasons and are well settled in life, meaning they are committed and focussed, then it usually works out.

Another Paki guy (pathan) married a white woman who converted to islam. She even moved to Pakistan and is living there with the guys family while the guy had to go to Africa for project work and alhamdolillah they are well!

So overall, I think that really it is not that big a deal any more. But in some families it is still a huge issue.

[Mabrook]

@Deeba1234

If her wali refuses for unIslamic reasons such as race she can appoint another one such as older brother (if she’s Hanafi she doesn’t require wali’s permission anyway tho obviously better if she gets it). We aren’t expected to put up with oppression from parents, this is just brainwashing from culture. Like I said before parents are not allowed to refuse a proposal if their daughter/son wants to go ahead on the basis of race or ethnicity, it isn’t just my opinion:

‘culture alone is not a valid criterion to reject a suitor. The basis in the Hanafi school is that a woman has the right to choose whom to marry, and the guardian only has a legal right to refuse when the individual is unsuitable.’

Source: Marriage outside my own culture and frustration at the attitudes of our parents

It’s not a very full answer, I’ll find a better one and add here later..

i’m hanfi too. as far as i know wali’s permission is needed for single virgin and if dad refuses qazi must not proceed but well ppl always find out ways .. yea go ask brother or uncle but islamic law is islamic law if u talk abt islam .
court marriages r not related to shariya.