Re: bi-racial relationships
does everyone typically keep utensils of maids separate too? or doesnt let a Christian maid cook or wash the dishes?
Re: bi-racial relationships
none of my close friends hav a live-in maid so don't know. Some hav cleaning ladies but they ask them to do anything but kitchen.
Re: bi-racial relationships
hmm … anyways … so how’r you doing mabrook? 
i’ve a project plan to write … really not in the mood :hinna:
Re: bi-racial relationships
itni achi debate ja rehi thee. garma garam with chai...
Re: bi-racial relationships
haan … debate to bohat achi ja rahi thi … suddenly i remembered the nightmare i had with my professor in it … 
Re: bi-racial relationships
wat nightmare? did u marry ur pofessor in ur dream instead
Re: bi-racial relationships
ewwwww … hahahah … noo … i dreamt i got my report back … and it had IT SUCKS written on it in big bold words … hahahah
luckily thats not true, and i got a good first evaluation of my essay
Re: bi-racial relationships
Story that was in the weekend paper:
George Osborne’s brother becomes a Muslim to marry his love of 14 years
By Angella Johnson
Last updated at 11:31 AM on 06th December 2009
The younger brother of Shadow Chancellor George Osborne has converted to Islam to allow him to marry a beautiful Bangladeshi-born plastic surgeon he met at university.
Adam Osborne, 33, who was temporarily banned from working as a junior doctor last year following allegations that he prescribed drugs to a friend, ‘quietly married’ Rahala Noor, 31, in two ceremonies held during the past six weeks. One was a civil ceremony, the other a traditional Asian Muslim celebration.
Dr Osborne’s religious conversion is said to have been a condition put forward by Dr Noor’s devoutly Muslim family for the marriage to take place.
He spent several months learning the teachings of the Koran at a mosque in Withington, in Manchester, before being formally welcomed into the faith at a simple ceremony last month.
Dr Osborne has adopted the name Mohammed, plans to attend mosque regularly and now prays five times a day. But the newlyweds have been forced to live apart because of work pressures. Dr Osborne is a specialist in psychiatric care at the John Howard Centre - a mental health unit in Hackney, East London. His new wife recently took up a post at the plastic surgery unit of Royal Preston Hospital in Lancashire.
The couple have been going out for 14 years after falling in love as undergraduates at St Andrews University in Scotland. They went on to study medicine together at Manchester University, but they kept their relationship hidden from Dr Noor’s family, who live in Manchester, for several years. A friend of the couple said: 'They met in the first week, after a lecture, and that’s when the relationship started. They didn’t tell her family, however, because Rahala was worried about how they would react.
'Adam’s family knew all about it and they thought she was a very good influence on him. 'But Rahala didn’t want to upset her folks. She knew that her parents probably wanted her to have an arranged marriage and she did not want to disappoint them. 'She only told her mother and siblings two years ago, after her father died. 'Rahala explained to her three brothers and two sisters that she was deeply in love and wanted to marry Adam. I don’t think they were too keen. Her older sister, who had an arranged marriage, was especially resistant.
‘Over time, however, and after meeting him on a few occasions, they came around to the idea. And when Adam announced that he was going to convert to Islam, it enabled everyone to accept the relationship.’
The couple even managed to survive last year’s illegal prescription scandal, which led to Dr Osborne’s suspension by the General Medical Council and his resignation as a junior doctor at Manchester’s Wythenshawe Hospital. A 21-year-old cocaine-addicted prostitute revealed Dr Osborne had given her prescription drugs to stop terrifying hallucinations she suffered as a result of her £750-a-week habit. GMC guidance forbids doctors from prescribing drugs to friends or family except in exceptional cases because of the risk that they could abuse their position.
The woman also claimed that she started having a relationship with Dr Osborne in October 2007. She said he paid the rent on her £795-a-month flat in Manchester. Another friend said: 'It was a tough time for them, but Rahala stood by him because she loves and believes in him. She is very religious. She has never drunk alcohol, prays every day and only eats halal meat.
'From the moment they got serious it was obvious that Adam would have to convert otherwise there was no way the family would have accepted him.'She is also very keen to start a family and wants to raise the children as Muslims - which he is happy about. He’s converted for the future of their family.'Family is very important to both of them, and he can relate to how Rahala views family. If her family hadn’t given their approval for this wedding then I don’t think she would have gone against their wishes. ‘She’s very traditional and Adam loves the fact that he’s got a wife who is willing to look after him.’
As the friend observed: ‘You couldn’t get two people who come from such different backgrounds. He’s very established and English, and she’s the typical immigrant made good.’
Adam is one of four sons of Baronet Osborne of Ballintaylor - the 66-year-old Sir Peter Osborne - and his wife, Felicity, 63. Sir Peter is a multi-millionaire businessman, who founded wallpaper company Osborne & Little. The boys grew up in a £5million house in Notting Hill, West London, and Adam attended the prestigious St Paul’s School for boys. ‘They were very traditional Church of England,’ said one former neighbour.
In contrast, Rahala’s father Abdullah emigrated from Bangladesh to Manchester in 1980, when she was two. The family settled in the city’s Withington district where they still live. Her mother Sufia is a housewife in her late 70s who is said to speak very little English.
Abdullah, who initially worked in an Indian takeaway, saved money to open and run his own restaurant. A traditional and deeply religious man, he insisted that his three daughters all had a good education.
A family friend says: ‘He put a lot of emphasis on education for his children and ensured that they all got good qualifications, even though he didn’t speak very much English himself and was barely educated in Bangladesh, having left school at 16 to work as a cook.’ Dr Noor, who was always academically gifted, went to a comprehensive school in Withington before attending a private A-level college. ‘Her father’s dream was to make her a doctor,’ the friend added. 'He really worked hard to ensure that his children had the best education. He raised them very traditionally and religion played an important part in the life of the family.
'Rahala is a real go-getter. Very homely, very determined and very ambitious. She is almost like the perfect wife from another time. Because of her upbringing, she is very traditional about the role of the wife and the husband. ‘That’s what Adam loves about her. She looks after him. She does all the housework, cooks, cleans and also holds down a demanding job.’
That Dr Noor straddles two worlds was evident in the fact that she had two weddings, one for each aspect of her life. The friend added: 'The first Western-style wedding was at St Andrew’s Castle on October 31. Around 100 people attended. There was alcohol and dancing. George Osborne went with his wife and his kids. The bride wore a long white dress and it was a black-tie affair.
‘I think Rahala knew that her family and other relatives would not feel comfortable in that environment. There was alcohol being served and non-halal meat, so Rahala probably thought that they would not have been too happy about that. Her youngest sister, Siria, who is studying dentistry, was the sole representative of the family.’
The second wedding was a more colourful Asian affair at a banqueting hall in Withington. Around 300 people attended, more than half of them Asians, made up of Dr Noor’s family, relatives and members from the local Bangladeshi community. The bride wore a red and gold lehenga. Dr Osborne wore a red and gold sherwani with a turban. His mother Felicity wore a traditional cream lehenga while his father, Sir Peter, wore a blue sherwani. George wasn’t there.
The first part of the ceremony was a traditional Islamic affair with the bride and female guests in one room and the groom and male guests in the other. They recited marriage verses from the Koran, signed a document and an imam declared them man and wife.
This was followed by a lavish reception, without alcohol. Guests did not dance but entertainment was provided by a Bollywood dance group and a Bollywood brass band.
‘There was a very strange mix of people at the wedding,’ said one guest. 'A lot of the English people were quite amazed at what was going on. There were traditional, upper-middle-class people in the room and then lots of kids running around. It was really noisy.
'The English people were amazed at how late everybody arrived and that five or six members of one family were turning up even though they had received only one invitation.
'There was a lot of goodwill and love in the air. But the two sides did not really come together. The Asians were on one side of the room and English people on the other.‘As far as the couple are concerned, their different backgrounds have never been a problem for either of them. In fact, they are both very proud of where they come from.’
When contacted, Adam’s mother Lady Osborne would only say: ‘We don’t really like to comment on personal matters.’ Adam, emerging at the front door of his semi-detached home on the outskirts of Manchester city centre wearing a pink and lime-green dressing gown, refused to comment on his recent marriage. ‘I’m afraid I have no comment to make whatsoever,’ he said, smiling.
But at his mother-in-law’s nearby home, one of Rahala’s brothers happily confirmed that the family was delighted by the wedding, particularly Adam’s conversion to Islam. Speaking at the family’s semi-detached house, still decorated with strands of fairy lights and floral arrangements from the marriage celebrations, he said: 'Yes, of course you can say we’re delighted. ‘I don’t understand why there is interest in this and I have been told not to say anything.’ When he was reminded of George Osborne’s public profile and the fact that Adam had converted to Islam, Rahala’s brother nodded and said the family was ‘obviously pleased’.
Asked whether Adam’s conversion had been prompted by his bride’s family, Rahala’s brother smiled and said simply: ‘All I can say is that we are delighted.’
George is also married to a feisty woman - the Hon Frances Howell, daughter of former Conservative Cabinet Minister Lord Howell. They married nine years ago after having met at a dinner party and, she says, rowed furiously all evening. Today, they live in West London and have two children, Luke and Liberty.Frances is an Oxford-educated former barrister who last year wrote a well-received biography about one of her racy ancestors, entitled The Bolter: Idina Sackville. Idina scandalised London society in the Twenties by walking out on her husband, then one of the richest men in Britain - and escaping to Africa with a lover.
Source: George Osborne’s brother becomes a Muslim to marry his love of 14 years | Mail Online
^ yes and that is all WRONG. Just because its happening in america too doesn't make it right. Biracial marriages were banned so that was WRONG. Atleast majority of Americans are anti racism. pakistanis on the other hand are not even seeing it. We keep saying "oh its not our culture to marry non pakistanis" or parents wanting a desi bahu thinking she will keep our culture alive. Why are so many pakistani parents against this inter racial marriage? Because they want to keep their culture pure and there future generation purely pakistani. Thats the main reason behind it.
Totally agree, in many other cultures parents allowing their kids to only 'marry their own' would be seen as racist but in ours it's seen as 'holding onto our roots' and ppl make a huge deal about how others eat a different style of food (this would be laughable to non-desis), wear a different style of clothing or some other trivial thing..
Re: bi-racial relationships
I think its a good idea but the reality can be tough especially when it comes to children.
I know of a Hindu who has married a Muslim guy and it's just not working out since their kid has been born.
But then again, thats not a race issue but a religious one because they get along in every other way i.e. cultures and expectations.
Re: bi-racial relationships
personally for me, it is difficult to maintain an inter-religious marraige. because i know what problems there can be, and i know i cant handle that, and because i am slightly religious, not overwhelmingly … therefor i am in a biracial/cultural, but not bireligious relation.
the topic of religion i think should only be touched if the 2 are not religious, and it doesnt matter what side the kids go to.
people should really consider EVERYTHING before jumping into such relationships. talk about things that they could have to deal with till the end of life. kids, old age bla bla .. EVERYTHING. the most important part of such a setting is the need of open communication and discussing EVERYTHING honestly.
^that story of goerge osbourne’s brother is quite amazing. 
deeba … kya bana tumhara? how are things with your relation going on?
Re: bi-racial relationships
^ Fine thanx, we have have our ups and downs like every couple but still going strong :)
Actually, my family is really busy planning my brother's wedding at the moment, he's marrying a Bengali girl..different language, loads of different customs*..*so kinda like my situation but not as 'extreme' lol I tell my Dad it's good practice for my turn..
How are things going with u and ur other half? Do u get to see each other much?
Re: bi-racial relationships
ahh nice nice! congrats to your brother!
ups and downs are everywhere. it doesnt need a specific situation :) it's only healthy ...
we are good too ... preparing for our wedding .. not too far now :D
and yes we meet each other daily becuz we have dinner together :) ... and weekends per b we r together .. getting stuff done ... so it's cool :) ...
Re: bi-racial relationships
Aww, ru getting married in Pakistan or outside?
Btw I remember u wanted to hear negative views on mixed marriages/relationships as well, a while back on here someone (who's since been banned) was basically telling me what a disgrace I am for being with a white guy, will try and find those posts..
Re: bi-racial relationships
^ WTH .. are you serious??? shiiiiiiiiiiiiiit … boy i want to read those! 
and we’re getting married in Pak in january inshAllah … full traaditional ishtyle
Found some of his gems!! :D, oh and he's back on the forum, am surprised he hasn't posted in this thread as he has such strong views on the subject :
''People who marry outside are generally lost or have an inferiority complex in my opinion''
**'Your marrying a white lad LOL!! Yeah you surely are a coconut im sure most Pakistani here (GS) and in the U.K along with the millions of brothers/aunties would say the same although they wouldn't type it here or say it to your face because they can't be asked to hurt someones feeling by saying the truth. **I don't come on the forums to be a troll or just to annoy people i just say what i really feel and i know for a fact in B'ham marrying outside Pakistani community is completely shunned upon if you belong to Kashmiri, Mirpuri n Pashtun.'
'As i said before Pakistani in U.k are represented by Bradford n Birmingham and due to MPz + Pashtun there i can safely say there will be no melting pot in 20 years as both have an extremely strong culture but you can keep dreaming we all turn out lost, like you. *Word of advice keep your half-cast kids in London because im not joking when i say in B'ham they would get totally abused..' *
'Seriously as a kashmiri i can't tell you a girl bringing white or black and a non-Pakistani will lead to being disowned by the family aswell as bringing shame on our family izzat.' ** 'Thankfully 'white-pakistani' couples are heavily frowned upon in B'ham and a rarity, long may it continue. Any marriages that do occur either result in a honour killing or the stupid Pakistani guy/girl involved being disowned aswell as being ostracized from the community.' **
As you can tell, he has a special hatred reserved for Pak/Indian marriages (yes, inc with Indian Muslims):
'Apart from Punjabi and Sindhi in U.K we have Pashtun, small amount of Kashmiris and a large Mirpuri community. The three latter ones marry heavily within their own sub groups and marrying an Indian would either lead to honour killings or disowning of the guy/girl involved from her family regardless of religion. Thankfully for me and my family who reside in B'ham we live with a large Mirpuri community who hardly get on with Indians and would definetely never think about marrying within Indians and so these rubs onto the rest of the Pakistani community who wouldn't dare take Indian as partners in a relationship.'
'Unfortunately thou the case of my Pakistani punjabi friends is different as many have Hindu/ Sikh friends and go to their 'Desi' functions which will lead to them hanging out with a Indian boys/girls with a view of even marrying them and i've seen around five cases where they have been happily accepted into the Pakistani punjabi/sindhi family which would never happen with other communties from PAK.'
'I just can't comprehend how a Pakistani could consider a Indian girl/guy over a Pakistani when i believe we are better looking, more modest, polite and generally both Pakistani men n women get along very well with each other. If your a coconut and do marry out of your race, just make sure its not INDIANS.'
'Its a shame when Pakistani inter-marry with bhindians, im just glad i come from North of Pak where this **** doesn't happen at all and 99% Pakistani will be hostile to any sort of relationship with an Indian as most feel vastly different to them. How a Pakistani guy/girl can marry an Indian is beyond me. Shame on her parents for allowing her to marry you.'
Comments from another user on another thread:
*'i have observed many punjabi-pashtun mixed couples nd believe me tht i found childs of such couples very confused and irritating' *
'mixed people r usualy not clear abt their identity'
Re: bi-racial relationships
^ Lol, dunno how that ended up in one big block paragraph, will sort it out later.. How annoying is it when u've spent ages carefully typing one long post and it does that! Wow, Farrah, not long!! U must be sooooo excited!! I have to wait till my brother's wedding (and the drama) is over before I can get started on all my prep properly...
Re: bi-racial relationships
that are some posts! i did read your bloc
some stuff in there is just crazy! pffffffffffff … my brain was just going wtfwtfwtfwtf … 
btw … are honor killings much heard of?
Totally agree, in many other cultures parents allowing their kids to only 'marry their own' would be seen as racist but in ours it's seen as 'holding onto our roots' and ppl make a huge deal about how others eat a different style of food (this would be laughable to non-desis), wear a different style of clothing or some other trivial thing..
Thats exactly my point. WHen we see a white man telling his daughter not to date a black guy, we get so furious and say hes racist doesn't he know what century this is. Yet same thing happens in our own community but fail to see how racist it is. For us it's totaly justified to discourage inter racial marriages inorder to keep our own "culture and values" alive in future generation. Perhaps we think our culture, value and tradition are superior?
Re: bi-racial relationships
it's appropriate to say then many of the frustrations of other cultures and religions with us is correct .. that when we say that we are a people/religion of peace, openness and freedom, that openness and freedom is pretty much controlled and has a strict protocol.