A Pakistani Girl

[Southie]

Re: A Pakistani Girl

Nice way to deflate the ALL argument.

[Ghost14]

Re: A Pakistani Girl

@Simply_Seema

The thing which frightens me is the tone of the people who are opposing how common this sexual violence is suggests that until ALL girls will not go through the ordeal this issue will not be recognized being a “Common Issue”. Until something happens to any one in their family or friends people will not accept that this happens on daily basis. Specially when you take in the fact that most of the GS population is educated/enlightened who are opposing the “bogus facts”, who can blame the rest of the country where majority of the population is illiterate.

No matter how many studies, statistics, researches etc. you will present they will still give the argument that they haven’t heard it from any one in their circle, talk about putting your head in sand to deny what’s happening around you. They just don’t seem to understand that most of the girls or for that matter boys don’t come forward with what they have gone through because of the so called Shame and Honor our society believes in.

You’re right, the denial of facts is idiotic. However, hypervigilance to the point that you’re stereotyping all Pakistani men together, and are unable to even discuss the intent of the blog (not the topic) without your own hangups, is also sad. And thank you for pointing out the tone of the posts, because I did exactly that earlier.

[Theorist]

Re: A Pakistani Girl

^Ghost, I don’t understand what is bothering you so much about it. I don’t see CB stereotyping anyone in her post. Also, it is such a childish thing to want to discuss the intent of the blog. I don’t understand how the intent is bothering you more than the fact that Pakistan is indeed one of the worst countries for women. Even the luckiest of lucky have experienced some of these or all issues.

[Southie]

Re: A Pakistani Girl

@Ghost14

You’re right, the denial of facts is idiotic. However, hypervigilance to the point that you’re stereotyping all Pakistani men together, and are unable to even discuss the intent of the blog (not the topic) without your own hangups, is also sad. And thank you for pointing out the tone of the posts, because I did exactly that earlier.

No reasonable person has stereotyped ALL Pakistani men together. Previously you stated the ladies are defending this blog as if ALL Pakistani women.are being abused. Instead of recognizing the ladies were referring to the folks who ridiculed the blog. Now you bring up a other false issue - that ALL Pakistani men r being stereotyped.

The way u chose to discuss the intent was to ask a question that has no answer - how do you know whether.ALL That is stated in blog is true.Of course I don’t know that. How the heck do we discuss what is in the bloggers mind.

The attempt to come up with false equivalency is unfortunate. I quite frankly see ur posts as more troublesome than the ladies U r referring to.

It is very unfortunate you would draw a false equivalency between the trolls and the ladies coming out strongly against the trolls

[diwana]

Re: A Pakistani Girl

None of people who discarded this blog ever said anything out of reality and showed any extremism.

But those who think this blog has any of whatever value have shown they live in in a small world and want to generalize.

Feel sorry for their unfortunate experiences but that is NOT norm in Pakistan and to say 90% women somehow get ill-treatment or abuse is absurd and preposterous thing to say.

It shows how much of negativism people have which makes one wonder : Are you for real?

Even women are questiong this wave of so called feminism which is turned in to extremism.

**Fact is that extremism, generalization, falsification of information, crunching up number,… and dramatization so people start doubting… does not help ANY cause. **

**
Sincerity** is what should have been shown by the writer, not attacking whole society in Pakistan (agree or not, yes it did..) and mocking very dignified and loving relations among people which STILL exists… including the grandparents for their grandchildren regardless of their gender.

[bella88]

Re: A Pakistani Girl

^yeah, the UN reports are completley false. everyone is biased and has an agenda against pakistan :halo:

[gudiaali]

Re: A Pakistani Girl

@bella88

^yeah, the UN reports are completley false. everyone is biased and has an agenda against pakistan :halo:

UN reports & statistics for any thing are not completely false and are not completely true either.

[Southie]

Re: A Pakistani Girl

^ a page out of climate change skeptics logic. Need to do more research. While Rome burns. Be the moderate.

How about them Moderates?

[Simply_Seema]

Re: A Pakistani Girl

@diwana

Feel sorry for their unfortunate experiences but that is NOT norm in Pakistan and to say 90% women somehow get ill-treatment or abuse is absurd and preposterous thing to say.

Yes you can say that because you are not a women, you have no idea about

How traumatic it is for a girl/women to travel in public transport where they are being groped, pinched and molested even if the buses/wagons are segregated

How helpless she is when she has to work from dawn till dusk in the farms or other houses just to come home to get her money snatched by some male relative for his nasha and then being beaten for not cooking food on time

How frightened she is if she is travelling alone after dusk under scrutiny of people looking at her with hungry eyes and God forbid if some car drops her home late in the evening which becomes a tele tale of the whole neighborhood

How much attentive she has to be shopping in a bazaar (And I am not talking about the high end malls but the regular weekly bazaars/markets) where men are just looking for a chance to touch her even if she’s fully covered in a chadar/burka

How confused she is when only she’s being told to bring water for her brother or make dinner or clear the table or do the dishes despite the fact that she and her brother went through the same ordeal during the day

How frustrating it is when she is being asked for her marriage/family plans during job interviews

Or when she’s being told again and again for things she can’t do just because she’s a girl/women

It’s a continuous struggle being a girl in Pakistan where you are living under a fear of some thing happening that will ruin the izzat of your family, where you are always watchful of your surroundings, where you hear reports of 6 months old being raped by their own fathers or uncles or grand fathers.

And the list goes on.

This dear sir which you called **drama **is the normal life of a woman, but you will never understand that because being a guy you have never faced these issues or may be because you have sheltered the woman of your family very well so you really don’t care what happens with others and if something happens to other women you just say that she saw it coming because why did she even get out of her home on the first place in the name of Feminism

In management classes we had been taught that to identify the problem solves 50% of the problem it self so unless and until we recognize that this is a valid issue nothing can help this cause

[diwana]

Re: A Pakistani Girl

@Simply_Seema

Yes you can say that because you are not a women, you have no idea about

How traumatic it is for a girl/women to travel in public transport where they are being groped, pinched and molested even if the buses/wagons are segregated

How helpless she is when she has to work from dawn till dusk in the farms or other houses just to come home to get her money snatched by some male relative for his nasha and then being beaten for not cooking food on time

How frightened she is if she is travelling alone after dusk under scrutiny of people looking at her with hungry eyes and God forbid if some car drops her home late in the evening which becomes a tele tale of the whole neighborhood

How much attentive she has to be shopping in a bazaar (And I am not talking about the high end malls but the regular weekly bazaars/markets) where men are just looking for a chance to touch her even if she’s fully covered in a chadar/burka

How confused she is when only she’s being told to bring water for her brother or make dinner or clear the table or do the dishes despite the fact that she and her brother went through the same ordeal during the day

How frustrating it is when she is being asked for her marriage/family plans during job interviews

Or when she’s being told again and again for things she can’t do just because she’s a girl/women

**It’s a continuous struggle being a girl in Pakistan **where you are living under a fear of some thing happening that will ruin the izzat of your family, where you are always watchful of your surroundings, where you hear reports of 6 months old being raped by their own fathers or uncles or grand fathers.

And the list goes on.

This dear sir which you called drama is the normal life of a woman, but you will never understand that because being a guy you have never faced these issues or may be because you have sheltered the woman of your family very well so you really don’t care what happens with others and if something happens to other women you just say that she saw it coming because why did she even get out of her home on the first place in the name of Feminism

In management classes we had been taught that to identify the problem solves 50% of the problem it self so unless and until we recognize that this is a valid issue nothing can help this cause

I do not think men are that callous or insensitive as some people try to portray, but **when extremism is used in delivering the message then it becomes a laughing stock.
**
“Feminists” are not helping women by this kid of rabid anti-men or bashing-men attitude.

Biggest problem with this kind of thought process is that “Oh! Only women can understand women problem”.

Women are the biggest enemies of their own kind. And it shows too.

Read your post again, you are using emotions and generalizing.

**Why give these bad examples and say in the same breath “its a normal life of a woman”? Why be so dramatic???
**
Basically you are saying it is continuous battle for every girl in Pakistan to be a girl and a 6 month old girl in Pakistan is nothing but a sex object for her father or uncle.

Very appalling to say the least!

This is exactly what I said in my earlier post feminists just want to portray all women or 90% of them are somehow miserable in Pakistan.

Extremism needs to be pointed out and be opposed. I would oppose any similar attempt by men to generalize… or act as drama queens.

[Southie]

Re: A Pakistani Girl

Rabid, meet kettle.

[diwana]

Re: A Pakistani Girl

Kettle, gone rabid.

[Gujranwalay]

Re: A Pakistani Girl

@Theorist

So sad and quite true. We are four sisters and were raised no different than boys. My father would shut up anybody who would say anything against having all daughters. To our parents, it never mattered but the rest of the world would not stop asking how his “nasl” will grow.

We all have established good careers, never had to ask anyone for anything, not even our husbands. Grew up extremely “khuddaar.” Yet somehow, we should still have our mouths shut and have no opinions or objections to whatever we are subjected to and the men of the house still deserve way more respect for being men. Still fighting the double standards and hypocrisy.

Unfortunately that narrow-minded society in Pakistan, alongwith the desi communities abroad still harbor the same mentalities.
Women are discouraged from anything where the men can feel ‘threatened’, even if it’s a minor thing. And they use religion to plead their sense of entitlements and rights over women and consider them as some commodity which they “own”.

Don’t expect anything good in that so-called islamic wretched society where a girl can’t even play outside once she’s a certain age.
It’ll be worse if they adopt Sharia. Pakistan is only good for men.
What happens when all of a sudden a woman loses her husband? All of a sudden whole society/world/family starts berating her as if she’s
to be damned just bcaz she lost her “shelter over her head”.

[diwana]

Re: A Pakistani Girl

‘Women’ are not happy or satisfied.. even where there are no religious laws. Go figure.

[Gujranwalay]

Re: A Pakistani Girl

@diwana

‘Women’ are not happy or satisfied.. even where there are no religious laws. Go figure.

That is also true for men, even where there are no religious laws. Now you go figure.
And I say this as a man.

Perhaps you haven’t met any of them successful women. Well, that backward narrow-minded society does not let them flourish much. Or that so-called society only sees their flourishment as being mothers and wives and serving them meals and taking care of the homes all day.

Pakistan is, was, and probably will always be a male-dominated society, where men are threatened by success and empowerment of women. Where their “mardangi” is challenged and under a threat whenever a women overtakes them in anything, from career, work, accomplishments, etc.
Their mentality is that the woman should remain in the 4-deewari. Be dependent on the men around her for everything.

Every now and then we hear honor killings, abuses, acid attacks, all in the name of so-called “ghairat” of these coward (islamic) men.
I’m glad we got out of that hellhole. I don’t think that place will change in my lifetime, or even centuries. I don’t have any hope for it.

[diwana]

Re: A Pakistani Girl

@Gujranwalay

That is also true for men, even where there are no religious laws. Now you go figure.
And I say this as a man.

Perhaps you haven’t met any of them successful women. Well, that backward narrow-minded society does not let them flourish much. Or that so-called society only sees their flourishment as being mothers and wives and serving them meals and taking care of the homes all day.

Pakistan is, was, and probably will always be a male-dominated society, where men are threatened by success and empowerment of women. Where their “mardangi” is challenged and under a threat whenever a women overtakes them in anything, from career, work, accomplishments, etc.
Their mentality is that the woman should remain in the 4-deewari. Be dependent on the men around her for everything.

Every now and then we hear honor killings, abuses, acid attacks, all in the name of so-called “ghairat” of these coward (islamic) men.
I’m glad we got out of that hellhole. I don’t think that place will change in my lifetime, or even centuries. I don’t have any hope for it.

Never said men are not happy.

I placed commas when I wrote ‘Women’. Did not want to generalize.

Essentialy when it comes to being not happy or satisfied, people of both gender one way or other are same.

No. I have met a lot of ‘successful’, happy and content women from all over the world including Pakistan. No idea why you assumed.

What is wrong with women mothers or wives serving the family meal?

Is that a new wave of exploiting women and telling them there is abuse in it if they cook or serve meal at home? Seriously?

Not only akistan, a lot of countries and places in the world are male dominant in some way and female dominant other way.

Can’t generalize.

No there is no such generalized mentality that women stay in char deewari or be dependent on men all over Pakistan. Which world do you live in my friend?

Do you not see housewives all over the world and man of the house is only breadwinner?

Why be so melodramatic? Been watching too much TV dramas lately?

Those men are not “Islamic”. Please stop making senseless rhetoric. Does not help anyone.

Problems do exist in Pakistan but some people just love to live in deep depression selectively reading news.

[bella88]

Re: A Pakistani Girl

^why do you ignore what the world reports say about pakistani women? why are you only basing your opinion on the few women you personally know?

[Reha]

Re: A Pakistani Girl

@diwana

‘Women’ are not happy or satisfied.. even where there are no religious laws. Go figure.

What is the issue here? You don’t think a writer has the freedom or right to write about what she went through?

She wrote about what happened to her. Many women are contributing and talking about how they identify or can see the writer’s perspective.

All you can think of saying is “omg what drama queens…lies…nothing like that happens in Pakistan” even when it does because you don’t want to admit these are real issues in Pakistan.

Please be realistic - you cannot live life wearing horse blinds.

[diwana]

Re: A Pakistani Girl

I stand by each and every word I wrote.

Nothing which is out of reality.

[bella88]

Re: A Pakistani Girl

you couldn’t be more out of reality.