A Pakistani Girl

[Aaze]

Re: A Pakistani Girl

@Simply_Seema

This topic reminded of these 2 articles both on the extreme sides and is also representative of the majority of GS posters. It’s up to you to determine which group you belong to

Through a foreign lens: The Other Pakistan - Pakistan - DAWN.COM

To Be a Woman in Pakistan: Six Stories of Abuse, Shame, and Survival - Zara Jamal - The Atlantic

Things are not always so black and white.

The second piece is the most disturbing thing I’ve ever read!

[Ethan_Hunt]

Re: A Pakistani Girl

@philosophy

hehe, so hard for people to grasp that jsut because their pakistani experience was so rich and wonderful and good…anyone else who thinks otherwise must be lying

Why can’t we accept different people go through different things?

child pls

apni post par khud pehle amal karo

[Krypton]

Re: y

@Ghost14

Thank you for proving my point. Having nothing of substance to say, we resort to personal attacks.

you’re a special one, aren’t you? i wouldn’t waste my time saying anything of substance to you.

[Krypton]

Re: A Pakistani Girl

@Simply_Seema

This topic reminded of these 2 articles both on the extreme sides and is also representative of the majority of GS posters. It’s up to you to determine which group you belong to

Through a foreign lens: The Other Pakistan - Pakistan - DAWN.COM

To Be a Woman in Pakistan: Six Stories of Abuse, Shame, and Survival - Zara Jamal - The Atlantic

Things are not always so black and white.

sad

[Krypton]

Re: A Pakistani Girl

@StrangeOne

It doesn’t matter who wins the argument because there are still areas of Pakistan which have under 10% female education and places in the last election that had zero per cent female participation.

**If educated people on this thread can laugh off even the merest suggestion of wrongdoing against women imagine the society at large. They are branded liars who exaggerate their misfortunes because that’s what women do. **

Of course all of these women must be lying because the courts agree too. In last 5 years there have been 0 convictions for rape.

:k:

[Simply_Seema]

Re: A Pakistani Girl

@Aaze

The second piece is the most disturbing thing I’ve ever read!

Same here, but for some people these things are not common enough. Every other day you hear about girls being raped or tortured by their own family members even on public television but some still think that these cases are being blown out of proportion.

[Krypton]

Re: A Pakistani Girl

@Simply_Seema

Same here, but for some people these things are not common enough. Every other day you hear about girls being raped or tortured by their own family members even on public television but some still think that these cases are being blown out of proportion.

hit the nail on the head

[sweefs]

Re: y

…

[Southie]

Re: y

@Ghost14

So all of this happened to the author? She was abused, bullied, suffers from depression, and has a dadi who hates her for being a girl? How do you know this?

@Southie

You are now being more sensational. Of course I was not there. But I don’t have a reason to think she is making it up. That’s the way it works. Folks pen down their experiences.

If you think she is simply making some parts up, that explains your posts. A pre - disposition to question someone’s experience. Not my cup of tea.

@Ghost14

Ironically, you are speculating about my intent.

Anyway, you don’t know her intent, or whether this actually happened to her, so my position that this could be a statement about Pakistani girls is valid, **because other people also mentioned something along the lines of “this is probably not representative of every Pakistani girl”. **

If this is her experience, then, as tragic as this is, it’s only the experience of one very unlucky girl. Most girls don’t have the luxury of naukars or schooling, so she is far from the average girl. Secondly, boys and girls all over the world suffer from bullying and abuse, although the number of unreported rapes is much higher in Pakistan. That said, a lot of those rapes happen in rural areas, far from this girl’s class and neighbourhood.

The only thing which is probably universal to every woman in this thread, albeit to varying degrees, is the double standards. But just like the trolls were putting forth hyperbole in calling this propaganda, so were the women who claimed that “men don’t understand” etc, when they only thing they (most likely) have in common with the author is the double standards. And it is also highly presumptuous to state that a brown, Muslim man wouldn’t understand what it feels like to be discriminated against in a Western country, post 9/11, especially if he (or she) happens to work in a field dominated by white men.

Anyway, my point is simply this: if this is not meant to be a statement about what Pakistani women go through, then it is just the very unfortunate experience of one girl. The trolls calling at propaganda are wrong, but so are the women who are jumping in to defend this piece as if it is representative of all women, double standards not withstanding as (I hope) we all agree do exist. Like Jolie said, the line is somewhere between “this doesn’t happen” and “see all that we women have to go through”. And I don’t just mean what’s written, but the underlying attitude which a lot of posts are laced with.

There you go again. It was very clear from ur post at the top that you didn’t buy into the notion ALL these happened to her. When called on it, you come up with a lame explanation - esp the first line re irony. I had two options - call ur post silly for asking me how I know all of this is true. Or the option I took. Clearly I don’t know what’s in ur mind. But ur posts speak for themselves.

NOONE claimed this happens to ALL women. So bringing that up at the end is nothing short of trolling. I used that word, since u so aptly used that to describe others.

The ladies who commented on those trolls were spot on. As for jolies position, again irrelevant. For no reasonable person is claiming this happens to ALL women.

Stop with the false equivalency. Comparing the trolls with the ladies who “defended the piece.” The former ridiculed the blogger. In that context, the ladies said men won’t understand this. Come on now. That comment was not directed at those who wouldn’t ridicule this blog.

your statement “ladies defending this piece as if it happened to ALL women” makes no sense. They defended this piece AGAINST the trolls who ridiculed the blog. Most did NOT claimed this happened to ALL women. You are (probably) deliberately muddying the waters by assigning a false motive to the ladies who spoke out against the trolls. The piece needed defending against the trolls. Don’t equate that to the ladies stating this happened to ALL women.

Let me repeat clearly. This is one lady’s experience. It does happen in India and Pakistan. No shame in admitting it. Reasonable persons are NOT claiming this happens to EVERYONE. So give that a rest.

And when did “other people also mentioned such and such so my argument is valid” become a good way to make ones point.

[diwana]

Re: A Pakistani Girl

The blog is a piece of junk, full of dramatization and was not written to get sincere attention to such a serious issue.

It was meant to put a girl who went through tough time as a showcase for all Pakistani girls.

[bella88]

Re: A Pakistani Girl

^yeah because girls hardly ever go through tough time in pakistan. :halo:

[Southie]

Re: A Pakistani Girl

The wit that keeps on impressing.

[bella88]

Re: A Pakistani Girl

In a country where 1000’s of women are KILLED every year for honor, im appalled by the reaction of some men on this thread.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2014/05/28/in-pakistan-honor-killings-claim-1000-womens-lives-annually-why-is-this-still-happening/
Women and Domestic Violence in Pakistan. | Assorted Mundanities.
Nearly 90% of women in pakistan suffer domestic abuse. how is this an exaggeration??

[diwana]

Re: A Pakistani Girl

That’s 9 out of 10 women… :smack:

The blog and its supporters are delusional to say the least.

Unfortunately misogyny, misandry, and simply the sexism,… is universal and no one knows exact numbers of cases and these numbers vary based on methods applied to collect the data and bias plays role as well.
**
But not to that extent as these cheap sensational writers and so called ‘statisticians’ make out to be. **

Example:

For women in America, equality is still an illusion

Every day, we hear about the horrors women endure in other countries: rape in Darfur, genital mutilation in Egypt, sex trafficking in Eastern Europe. We shake our heads, forward e-mails and send money.

**We have no problem condemning atrocities done to women abroad, yet too many of us in the United States ignore the oppression on our doorstep. We’re suffering under the mass delusion that women in America have achieved equality. **

And it’s not just strangers who are killing women; **more than 1,000 women were killed by their partners in 2005, **and of all the women murdered in the United States, about a third are killed by a husband or boyfriend. **A leading cause of death for pregnant women? Murder by a partner. **

[bella88]

Re: A Pakistani Girl

^sexism, abuse does happen everywhere, but you cannot compare the state of women in pakistan to US. pakistan, india, and some african countries are considered one of the WORST in the world for women. the way women are treated there is far worse than US. most of the women abused in Pakistan cannot even report the crimes.
this thread is about the suffering of women in pakistan, which seems to be ignored by plenty of men and labelling such incidents as ‘over generalization or exaggeration’.

strange, but not surprising, how some people here think these figures are biased. why is UN’s report biased? http://www.bestmentalhealthdegrees.com/10-worst-countries-in-the-world-for-women/
pakistan made it to top 10 of the worst country for women. this is biased too right? everyone is biased, only diwana has all the facts. Just google worst countries for women, and you will find pakistan in top 10 in ALL of them. they must all be biased..
United Nations study found that 90 percent of Pakistani women are verbally and mentally abused by men in their own families.

yes pakistan is not the ONLY country where women are treated horribly, but its definitely up there along with other countries which rank very poorly on how their women are treated.
I dont understand what we are going to achieve by denying these facts. even if there is gender inequailty in US and other developed countries,what does that have anything to do with this particular thread? seems like some people use that to justify whats going on with pakistani women.

[StrangeOne]

Re: A Pakistani Girl

Whew, it’s threads like these that make me grateful that I only know men who are part of the solution and not the problem. Mashallah.
#](http://www.paklinks.com/gs/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=things_to_be)things_to_be_grateful_about_in_ramadan

[bella88]

Re: A Pakistani Girl

@Simply_Seema

Same here, but for some people these things are not common enough. Every other day you hear about girls being raped or tortured by their own family members even on public television but some still think that these cases are being blown out of proportion.

And those are the cases that are reported. vast majority of them are not even reported in pakistan so the actual number of women raped, tortured, killed is alot higher.

[Theorist]

Re: A Pakistani Girl

@bella88

^sexism, abuse does happen everywhere, but you cannot compare the state of women in pakistan to US. pakistan, india, and some african countries are considered one of the WORST in the world for women. the way women are treated there is far worse than US. most of the women abused in Pakistan cannot even report the crimes.
this thread is about the suffering of women in pakistan, which seems to be ignored by plenty of men and labelling such incidents as ‘over generalization or exaggeration’.

strange, but not surprising, how some people here think these figures are biased. why is UN’s report biased? 10 Worst Countries in the World for Women
pakistan made it to top 10 of the worst country for women. this is biased too right? everyone is biased, only diwana has all the facts. Just google worst countries for women, and you will find pakistan in top 10 in ALL of them. they must all be biased..
United Nations study found that 90 percent of Pakistani women are verbally and mentally abused by men in their own families.

yes pakistan is not the ONLY country where women are treated horribly, but its definitely up there along with other countries which rank very poorly on how their women are treated.
I dont understand what we are going to achieve by denying these facts. even if there is gender inequailty in US and other developed countries,what does that have anything to do with this particular thread? seems like some people use that to justify whats going on with pakistani women.

Bella88, there is no point in arguing with people who don’t want to accept the reality. I don’t know why people are getting offended here. It’s not like we are blaming them for what’s going on. I don’t understand this bizarre almost violent reaction to a friggin’ blog.

[Chicken_Biryani]

Re: A Pakistani Girl

@Theorist

So sad and quite true. We are four sisters and were raised no different than boys. My father would shut up anybody who would say anything against having all daughters. To our parents, it never mattered but the rest of the world would not stop asking how his “nasl” will grow.

We all have established good careers, never had to ask anyone for anything, not even our husbands. Grew up extremely “khuddaar.” Yet somehow, we should still have our mouths shut and have no opinions or objections to whatever we are subjected to and the men of the house still deserve way more respect for being men. Still fighting the double standards and hypocrisy.

Spot on Theorist, very well put.

I am in the same boat as well. We are a family of daughters only and back in the day I heard my elders put so much pressure on my father too about “just” having girls. But my father shoo’ed them away and simply told them , with his head held high, they are what Allah blessed me and they are my way to Jannah. They are my strength.

years later, I am saying this with a pinch of salt, those people who were way too proud to have sons and would say harsh things to my parents , ended up with kids who hardly even completed their studies, let alone do the extra ordinary things in life. Where as today , my father walks with utmost pride coz all his daughters are Ma Sha Allah peaking their homes and careers alike.

Eventually, if the parents remain strong, we can change the mentality and general attitude. I still believe this somewhere in my heart .

[Simply_Seema]

Re: A Pakistani Girl

The thing which frightens me is the tone of the people who are opposing how common this sexual violence is suggests that until ALL girls will not go through the ordeal this issue will not be recognized being a “Common Issue”. Until something happens to any one in their family or friends people will not accept that this happens on daily basis. Specially when you take in the fact that most of the GS population is educated/enlightened who are opposing the “bogus facts”, who can blame the rest of the country where majority of the population is illiterate.

No matter how many studies, statistics, researches etc. you will present they will still give the argument that they haven’t heard it from any one in their circle, talk about putting your head in sand to deny what’s happening around you. They just don’t seem to understand that most of the girls or for that matter boys don’t come forward with what they have gone through because of the so called Shame and Honor our society believes in.