Your Husband's Past

[MysticPapaya]

Re: Your Husband’s Past

@nia_khan

mystic we are getting alittle personal here arent we… before i start the cat fight and next thing you know guys are grabbing popcorns and what not.

i am going to put an end to this right here and now. I dont wish to begin my new year with fights or arguments.

mystic kill your desires wishes on every step of your marriagedoes not bother me at all. May be not now but couple of years down the line when you will realize hey wtf i did for myself in my life. I am sure you will have no answer. i am amazed you still call yourself broad minded and independent.

khair you are right i do have dukhti rag . it hurts me when i hear stories of other women being a victim of another crime.i am sick and tired of it. but sometimes aurat kud apni hi dushman hai what can i say

Gosh darnit! Nothing has happened. It’s HYPOTHETICAL!!!

[Muzna]

Re: Your Husband's Past

If you marry a guy without actually investing the time to find out what he was up to before the urge to settle down came along, then perhaps you will face situations like this.

However inconceivable and unbelievable it may be, if it did happen to me, I would thank him for finally being honest with me and then have a serious discussion to make sure that we both understand where we where going from this point on.

I would then thank Allah that it had come to light in this fashion rather than me walking in on something that I wouldn't be able to forgive.

He who shows mercy will be shown mercy.

[Mamaof3]

Re: Your Husband's Past

Pcg, I didnt answer the other thread because its aimed at guys and their attitudes towards their women....I did not feel equipped to respond in that vein....I'm not of that gender yeah? I could post what I THINK about it all but it really didnt apply....

[lollypop_man]

Re: Your Husband's Past

so true Muzna.... but, it makes me wonder why well thought out responses only come from married women.

happy new year. :)

@Muzna

If you marry a guy without actually investing the time to find out what he was up to before the urge to settle down came along, then perhaps you will face situations like this.

However inconceivable and unbelievable it may be, if it did happen to me, I would thank him for finally being honest with me and then have a serious discussion to make sure that we both understand where we where going from this point on.

I would then thank Allah that it had come to light in this fashion rather than me walking in on something that I wouldn't be able to forgive.

He who shows mercy will be shown mercy.

[lazy_daisy]

Re: Your Husband's Past

@Muzna

If you marry a guy without actually investing the time to find out what he was up to before the urge to settle down came along, then perhaps you will face situations like this.

However inconceivable and unbelievable it may be, if it did happen to me, I would thank him for finally being honest with me and then have a serious discussion to make sure that we both understand where we where going from this point on.

.

Its not always the possible to find out especially if he is from another country, and/or Parental/cultural inhibitors....

re. your second point.. Id do the same

[system]

Re: Your Husband's Past

He doesn't regret, divorce. Besides, marriage is supposed to be based on trust, as is any relationship even between friends, if there is no trust, there can be no friendship, not a real one anyway. If he lied before marriage that he was "shareef", then the whole marriage was based on a lie and the fact that he doesn't repent, makes him a bad bad Muslim which isn't just bad for the wife, but also for any future children.

So definately divorce.

[iori_yagami]

Re: Your Husband’s Past

@PyariCgudia

Following up on the other thread I opened, I’d like to ask GS ladies a question, just to get an idea of what you think.

Scenario: You are happily married, and after about 3 years of marriage, your husband confides his lewd behavior as a man-ho prior to marriage. He says that before he married you, Mr. Smith was going to the City at least 5 times a week with various different females.

He looks you in the eye, promises he wont cheat on you and that he hasn’t in the 3 years you were married to him. Yet, when you ask him if he regrets what he did in the past, he says he’s got no regrets, and he enjoyed himself.

…

What would you do?

Kick the mo fo out and tell em to enjoy himself more so he can burn in hell

[niyal]

Re: Your Husband's Past

may be i would want to get divorced .

or maybe i will continue for another year n analyse n then leave him or keep up with him.

it all depends on alot of factors. :)

[PyariCgudia]

Re: Your Husband’s Past

iori:

mamaof3: please refer to my response in the other thread. I really am interested in understanding how you view the matter from the other gender’s perspective.

Muzna: I am assuming that all was done to investigate both parties’ backgrounds, and that both parties in this scenario and in the other counterpart thread made it clear before marriage that both the bride and the groom were virgins when entering in on their pact, and that all possible thorough searches that could have been done into backgrounds were done.

I’ll give you an example. I had a friend whose family I thought was incredibly so shareef and wonderful people. The parents, I think, genuinely are nice people. Now, I wasn’t looking for marriage in that family or anything, but another one of my friends WAS. Things didn’t work out between the couple because personalities didn’t match, but I found out that the prospective groom (my friend’s brother), has done some hanky panky in the past before with a non-muslim girl, and also has a child from her, whom she takes care of. Its a family secret that is so well kept, because the son got this girl pregnant when he was off at college. Oh of course, desi boys are encouraged to go away from home for college, and are obviously expected to do nothing wrong. Well, the pakistani ladies he’s going around proposing to have no clue about it.

[Mahmood_Ghaznawi]

Re: Your Husband's Past

What a devilish thread with pervert thinking. I guess there is something wrong in the head of this topic poster PCG

Now I know, his/her wreath is falling upon me.

Madam/Mrs/Miss/Mr whatever you are, this scenerio can be applied to women similarly. Try to develop bilateral thinking. Women like you aren't innocent either.......

Don't spoil those who are not like you.....

[PyariCgudia]

Re: Your Husband’s Past

Yeah, so check the other thread I have posted…

[Mahmood_Ghaznawi]

Re: Your Husband's Past

^ yeah and what you desi women don't realize is that this is normal in us western men. You Pakistani DESI women are too old fashioned to accept the reality that a man is already married.

This is normal my darling, quite normal..... Accept it, live with it.......

As I always say, you DESI Paki women can only adjust with paki men who stick to only one woman all their life. We cannot. We like to try different everytime .....

HAHA

[PyariCgudia]

Re: Your Husband's Past

How weird.

[MysticPapaya]

Re: Your Husband’s Past

@Mahmood Ghaznawi

^ yeah and what you desi women don’t realize is that this is normal in us western men. You Pakistani DESI women are too old fashioned to accept the reality that a man is already married.

This is normal my darling, quite normal… Accept it, live with it…

As I always say, you DESI Paki women can only adjust with paki men who stick to only one woman all their life. We cannot. We like to try different everytime …

HAHA

:bash:

[ImranQ]

Re: Your Husband's Past

@PyariCgudia

Following up on the other thread I opened, I'd like to ask GS ladies a question, just to get an idea of what you think.

Scenario: You are happily married, and after about 3 years of marriage, your husband confides his lewd behavior as a man-ho prior to marriage. He says that before he married you, Mr. Smith was going to the City at least 5 times a week with various different females.

He looks you in the eye, promises he wont cheat on you and that he hasn't in the 3 years you were married to him. Yet, when you ask him if he regrets what he did in the past, he says he's got no regrets, and he enjoyed himself.

....

What would you do?

what is the problem here... he is loyal to her then why his past mistakes are coming into play... what if he discusses with her before marriage n she dump him. Risking loosing her is what made him hide all that! and now his love n faith on her making him open up and be truly loyal to her. isn't it good?

I would say, unfortunately somehow being virgin is more sacred for girl prolly its becoz girls can get pragnent boys can't.

[TheNewWannaBe]

Re: Your Husband’s Past

grin

grin

grin

I’d be glad to know that someone with an extensive experience was happy with ME for THREE YEARS I’d be actually concerned to find out if he was really happy or if he was sharing his past with me AFTER THREE YEARS to give me a hint…

[S02]

Re: Your Husband's Past

I agree with arm; if he doesn't feel that what he did was "wrong" then he's not worth my time.

[Mahmood_Ghaznawi]

Re: Your Husband's Past

[quote=ImranQ]
what is the problem here... he is loyal to her then why his past mistakes are coming into play... what if he discusses with her before marriage n she dump him. Risking loosing her is what made him hide all that! and now his love n faith on her making him open up and be truly loyal to her. isn't it good?
[quote]

The problem is paranoia, suspicion, doubt, in the mind of PCG that she can't get rid of. I am already suggesting her to go to a psychiatrist instead of corrupting the minds of every innocent boy and girl here.....

[Bayzaar]

Re: Your Husband's Past

The problem is paranoia, suspicion, doubt, in the mind of PCG that she can't get rid of. I am already suggesting her to go to a psychiatrist instead of corrupting the minds of every innocent boy and girl here...../quote]

Dude take a chill pill. I think nobody here is that naive to get corrupted by anyone here. Secondly i dont see what the problem here is if she is interested in knowing abt other's views, and if her views generally dont meet that of yours, is no reason for her to go see a psychiatrist!

[Bayzaar]

Re: Your Husband's Past

@Mahmood Ghaznawi

^ yeah and what you desi women don't realize is that this is normal in us western men. You Pakistani DESI women are too old fashioned to accept the reality that a man is already married.

This is normal my darling, quite normal..... Accept it, live with it.......

As I always say, you DESI Paki women can only adjust with paki men who stick to only one woman all their life. We cannot. We like to try different everytime .....

HAHA

how lame can one get!