Following up on the other thread I opened, I’d like to ask GS ladies a question, just to get an idea of what you think.
Scenario: You are happily married, and after about 3 years of marriage, your husband confides his lewd behavior as a man-ho prior to marriage. He says that before he married you, Mr. Smith was going to the City at least 5 times a week with various different females.
He looks you in the eye, promises he wont cheat on you and that he hasn’t in the 3 years you were married to him. Yet, when you ask him if he regrets what he did in the past, he says he’s got no regrets, and he enjoyed himself.
i think the guy made a big mistake by lying to the gal by telling her he was a virgin or someone he was not. im not sure what the big deal is. most desi gals are ok with their man having prior sexual encounters with females as long as its made known upfront. by lying he prolly is going to lose her trust and possibly hurt the marriage in the process.
then again women are funny creatures they can forgive a man like clinton where mr. johnsons' adventures got headline coverage... i dont see why mr. smith's adventures cant be forgiven since they were made prior to them getting married.
Some of these responses are somewhat disturbing. What would make anyone think that most desi girls expect their husband to have had prior sexual experiences?
Being a desi female, I am a little miffed by some of the above responses..
However, if the husband is indeed telling the truth that he hadn’t cheated on her during the marriage and had no plans to..then if I were the wife…I think I would forgive him, but only to a certain degree. That’s because like lollypop_man said, I would probably have appreciated the confession more before marriage…but then again, who’s to say whether the wife would have still married him upon knowing about his ‘player’ past.
Saying all that, although I’d find a way to forgive him and try to move on, I’d always be a little insecure and suspicious about his future behavior.
mystic i am ashamed i didn’t expect a woman to respond like that especially an educated woman.
If he lied about being virgin doesn’t it occur to you he might have kids out there that he may not have any clue off. Sorry but I don't like a use cup [sorry to be a bit harsh on non virgin guppies- why do you deserve a virgin girl? you had your fun find a girl who is a player like yourself]. When the guy was getting married he had his fun wedding night was just another night for him it was not special. How can a woman just think of being with that type of man?
I guess I can easily say that cause I am independent. Girls please become self-sufficient guys take advantage of you because you depend on them.
I would curse him out hurt him emotionally and put an end to it. the only way we would have a solution if I get to have my fun with 5 guys.
i don’t get this its okay for a guy to have affairs before shadi and woman just have to forgive him because its in our nature. Well i got news for you old farts a girl like me would kick your behind and make sure you become the hot news for the month.
if i give my 100 percent and you only put you freakin 50 cause you had fun with other 50. Guess what its time for revenge....
Its a shame guys literally think we are pao ki joti. And how dare him he find it so easy and told his wife he enjoyed it and had no regrets. I can guarantee you if he were to see those girls again he will do it again. He didnt have diginity for himself what makes her think he will stand up for her. I would not want a man like that near my kids.
pcg why is it expected for a girl to give up and forgive. Why do pakistani girls forgive so easily. I mean how can you look at that man the same way you did before. how can you sleep with that same man again.
Where does it say in the original post that he lied about his virginity? What if the question was never brought up before marriage? Is it anyone’s fault? I don’t think so. However, if the question was asked before marriage, and he lied about his virginity, then there’s a problem. If she never asked the question, then she has no right to be angry. What happened in the past should stay in the past.
Fret, I'm sorry I wasn't clearer. In my posed scenario, I have imagined the couple as having discussed this stuff out prior to marriage. He made it seem like he was a shareef guy before marriage when he and his family brought the rishtaa to the girl's house.
I don't promote any sexist views. I realize that I may have come across as sounding backwards in the last post, but I was just trying to put the most positive pun on the situation. People do things they regret, but they can (and often do) learn from them and change later on.
It's not about Paki girls being submissive, it's mostly about trying to look beyond somebody's past if they truly repent and regret what they've done.
^ why should he regret pcg.. that was a totally different experience for him… but being married is even nicer… well if i get on his shoes n start thinkin like him.. i might like the married life better… you hav your gurl in hand every night… there is sumone in life who genuinely cares about you.. and luves you the way you are…makes an honest efforts to be liked by me (even if i am an A******)… if i truly care about her even a lil bit… i won’t cheat on her or do any thing that might upset her… but then.. there are always exceptions
if he does not regret it, means he does not think he has sinned, means he does not repent from zina, means he must be divorced....
its simple as that, there is nothing hard to understand there....
