Your Husband's Past

[lazy_daisy]

Re: Your Husband is a Ho

what do you mean by repent?
just saying.."sorry wont happen again"

or ..."nah that was bad innit..."

how do you know wether someone has truly repented and that they are not just saying the right words?

[armughal]

Re: Your Husband is a Ho

^ something u dont regret doing, u surely aint sincere in repentance....

[cat-woman]

Re: Your Husband is a Ho

I'd find out all about his escapades prior to marrying him. I aint marrying a man-ho, let alone a guy who isnt a virgin.

[lazy_daisy]

Re: Your Husband is a Ho

@armughal

if he does not regret it, means he does not think he has sinned, means he does not repent from zina, means he must be divorced.... its simple as that, there is nothing hard to understand there....

something u dont regret doing, u surely aint sincere in repentance

in the real world..he may have children, he may love his wife now and his wife may love him and not have an issue

he may feel that he doesnt need to repent because its not that great an issue in his life...

SOOO what will happen to the kids and wife if they MUST divorce?
she will have more of a problem bearing the stigma of a divorcee than him

also

if he is asked to repent by peopel like the parents and wife...he may act inorder to keep the wife

[ashtray]

Re: Your Husband's Past

LD you have unknowlingly touched on the rootcause of the whole 'hoe' discussions. The problem is that till women keep accepting men with checkered past, things are not going to change. If Master Smiths of this world know that their reputation will be tarnished by sleeping around before marriage and they may not be able to find a Mrs Smith because of such actions a lot of them will be more careful. Fortunately or unfortunately women are very forgiving and such men are still acceptable. The same cannot be said about men, if they find out about their mate's or prospective mates checkered past they wont be as forgiving.

[lazy_daisy]

Re: Your Husband's Past

Mr A.Tray

re the "till women keep accepting" perhaps they live in the real world...

anyway...
Pak culture...whatever that means IS changing

all over the world...the pockets of people who travelled abroad and created little "bubbles" of pakistan ...facsimilies of the homelife they left behind .... are evolving, the second and third generations are adopting certain traits from teh host western culture and at the moment it is fairly acceptable for a young man to have a girlfriend and to sleep with her too

I believe that the lifestyle will eventually( many years hence) get to paks too

Its is also (amongst the young...by young i mean mid twenties etc.) now fairly acceptable for pak girls to have boyfriends and hormones being hormones coupled with the romantic idea that "one day" thay shall be married they MAY take the relationship to a further level

so you have a girl who is not a virgin

and then she goes and breaks up with boy friend for some (perhaps silly) reason and goes off with his friend or someone else...so she is half way to the "bad lady" stage

what im trying to say... amongst all this waffling is that in a few years it may be that the children of the guppistanies here will be marrying people who have had lots (or rather more than one) sexual partners...

At the moment there is more of a stigma with women and their pasts ... and less so with a man

Im suggesting that soon it wont be too much of an issue for either

and Im quite certain with all this belief in nonsense like Love ..(Eurrghh)
there are pakistanis who will accept a lady of ill repute
I mean if a man marries a black or White lady who has had more than one partner will people look down upon her..?

I havent seen it happen...

there are far more important things to consider whether someone repents their past (perceived) misdemeaners

[lollypop_man]

Re: Your Husband's Past

so the guy should be a virgin is another condition for marriage. the list just keeps getting longer. and its just as retarded as the guys who require proof that their wifes a virgin on the first night. i thought atleast the educated class of pak moved on from those days... obviously not.

some of the responses here are frankly scary. pls be sure to convey ur feelings to your future husbands well before getting married.... not 3 days before marriage or 3 days after marriage. prolly the first day you find out he is interested in you. unless the guy is in it for the greencard or you are a total knockout and he is hell bent lying to you for the nookie.... i think most guys will run looking at your maturity levels. the others will be the mullah types who might really be virgins but there is a chance they also might be child molestors and will make u wear a burqa.

as far as repenting the past pre-marital relationships. if you take religious aspects out of this... i think one learns from each relationship and becomes a better human being cuz of it. unless his past relationships have been with cheap floozies there is a good chance the way you will be treated will be pretty close to how he treated his ex-gf.

[nia_khan]

Re: Your Husband is a Ho

@MysticPapaya

^exactly.

I don’t promote any sexist views. I realize that I may have come across as sounding backwards in the last post, but I was just trying to put the most positive pun on the situation. People do things they regret, but they can (and often do) learn from them and change later on.

It’s not about Paki girls being submissive, it’s mostly about trying to look beyond somebody’s past if they truly repent and regret what they’ve done.

Everything isn’t so black or white in reality.

mystic if you want to call me sexist because i dont take crap like that then yeah i am the bigges one on this planet. *grin. That guy began this relationship with a lie i would doubt everything he has said. I have seen many women simply living their lives with a man who is so strange to them because of our society. The hell with the damn society its my life society wont be there when he goes out and have his seventh try.

ashtray - Well i would not mind being the first one not to accept this BS. If the guy fudged around before shadi he was;nt sincere with other girls Yeah i know i am speical in my own way but obviously it took his freaking 5 tries to get to me. Well he can simply move on.

I have no tolerance for liars, wife abusers and those who think women are lower then them.

laizy daisy- if thats going to happen in future i would rather not have kids. If my kids don’t know the basic values of islam and cant respect themselves its a shame on me and i shall burn in hell for that.

[MysticPapaya]

Re: Your Husband is a Ho

@nia_khan

mystic if you want to call me sexist because i dont take crap like that then yeah i am the bigges one on this planet. *grin. That guy began this relationship with a lie i would doubt everything he has said. I have seen many women simply living their lives with a man who is so strange to them because of our society. The hell with the damn society its my life society wont be there when he goes out and have his seventh try.

ashtray - Well i would not mind being the first one not to accept this BS. If the guy fudged around before shadi he was;nt sincere with other girls Yeah i know i am speical in my own way but obviously it took his freaking 5 tries to get to me. Well he can simply move on.

I have no tolerance for liars, wife abusers and those who think women are lower then them.

laizy daisy- if thats going to happen in future i would rather not have kids. If my kids don't know the basic values of islam and cant respect themselves its a shame on me and i shall burn in hell for that.

Although I agree with your mentioned points, I just get the general idea that you're living in this idealized bubble...and life, as I know it, is not always ideal.

[nia_khan]

Re: Your Husband's Past

mystic- lol ideal world would be he is simply all mine. I don;t care you can sit there and claim that my bubble would burst. I am shocked how come another women can sit there and make these kinds of claims and support men for their player past

sorry its because of girls like yourself we have cases of rapes [khudanawasta]. And then girls like sonia khan and mukhtar mai are born....

mystic- i hope you wont get played. Stand up for yourself a girl does not need to take BS from another man .

[Mamaof3]

Re: Your Husband's Past

Lying about your past is just wrong. Many guys "sow their wild oats" while they are young and then when they're ready to settle down, they DO settle down to be faithful, good husbands. This, IMHO is nothing to be ashamed of unless there was unprotected sex or lying involved. Having unprotected sex is just foolish and if I loved someone who had committed this act, I'd require an AIDS test. But I'd not condemn him for it. I've said before that I dont understand when gals want a virgin husband - an experienced man who "knows his way" can be a pleasurable plus. And having a man who has "sowed his wild oats" in his younger years is less likely to want to "roam" later on.

[MysticPapaya]

Re: Your Husband's Past

@nia_khan

mystic- lol ideal world would be he is simply all mine. I don;t care you can sit there and claim that my bubble would burst. I am shocked how come another women can sit there and make these kinds of claims and support men for their player past

sorry its because of girls like yourself we have cases of rapes [khudanawasta]. And then girls like sonia khan and mukhtar mai are born....

mystic- i hope you wont get played. Stand up for yourself a girl does not need to take BS from another man .

Oh my nia, this sure is hitting some 'dukhti' nerve isn't it?

First of all, the aforementioned situations were totally hypothetical. All I was saying is thats its a little naive and preemptive to vow to never have kids, get married etc etc. just because you don't want to play with the cards that life has dealt you with.

In no way does this mean that women should be treated as second class citizens or put up with BS. I'm an independent and broad minded individual - totally in favor of gender equality, regardless of what your opinions might be.

Sweetie, I'm guessing that you really haven't had to step out in to the real world yet. May Allah grant you sabr and maturity in your future thoughts.

[nia_khan]

Re: Your Husband's Past

mystic we are getting alittle personal here arent we... before i start the cat fight and next thing you know guys are grabbing popcorns and what not.

i am going to put an end to this right here and now. I dont wish to begin my new year with fights or arguments.

mystic kill your desires wishes on every step of your marriagedoes not bother me at all. May be not now but couple of years down the line when you will realize hey wtf i did for myself in my life. I am sure you will have no answer. i am amazed you still call yourself broad minded and independent.

khair you are right i do have dukhti rag . it hurts me when i hear stories of other women being a victim of another crime.i am sick and tired of it. but sometimes aurat kud apni hi dushman hai what can i say

[Fret_Wizard]

Re: Your Husband’s Past

@nia_khan

sorry its because of girls like yourself we have cases of rapes [khudanawasta].

Care to explain this harsh comment?

[LuxuryItem]

Re: Your Husband's Past

@Mamaof3

Lying about your past is just wrong. Many guys "sow their wild oats" while they are young and then when they're ready to settle down, they DO settle down to be faithful, good husbands. This, IMHO is nothing to be ashamed of unless there was unprotected sex or lying involved. Having unprotected sex is just foolish and if I loved someone who had committed this act, I'd require an AIDS test. But I'd not condemn him for it. I've said before that I dont understand when gals want a virgin husband - an experienced man who "knows his way" can be a pleasurable plus. And having a man who has "sowed his wild oats" in his younger years is less likely to want to "roam" later on.

Finally, a voice of reason.

[PyariCgudia]

Re: Your Husband's Past

@Mamaof3

Lying about your past is just wrong. Many guys "sow their wild oats" while they are young and then when they're ready to settle down, they DO settle down to be faithful, good husbands. This, IMHO is nothing to be ashamed of unless there was unprotected sex or lying involved. Having unprotected sex is just foolish and if I loved someone who had committed this act, I'd require an AIDS test. But I'd not condemn him for it. I've said before that I dont understand when gals want a virgin husband - an experienced man who "knows his way" can be a pleasurable plus. And having a man who has "sowed his wild oats" in his younger years is less likely to want to "roam" later on.

So then why aren't you, along with all the others here who shrug at non-virgin men getting married, speak the same speach in my counterpart thread "Your Wife's Past?"

I think armughal is one of the few who gets what I'm trying to do. Even though I may hesitate at how he's worded his response, at least he was consistent in both threads.

[lazy_daisy]

Re: Your Husband's Past

and what is it exactly that you are "trying " to do?

[PyariCgudia]

Re: Your Husband's Past

Oh my gosh, lazy, how slow are you?

[lazy_daisy]

Re: Your Husband's Past

Oh my Gosh Pgc slow... as in stupid?

as in stupid not to see that you were "trying" to make a point

Oh My Good God Pgc...one day my Dear I hope to for your sake you grow up and perhaps with that your average intelligence may tell you that you are not as clever as you believe

i would like to add words that you will understand like

Duhhh..

Dohh..

jerk...

retard and a few others

but I wont

im going to wish you a happy new year instead

silly girl

I wonder if you are as shallow in real life as you come across on this site

[LuxuryItem]

Re: Your Husband's Past

@lazy_daisy

Oh My Good God Pgc...one day my Dear I hope to for your sake you grow up and perhaps with that your average intelligence may tell you that you are not as clever as you believe

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA