Seems like I have hit a nerve or something lolz 
Please enlighten me where have I used the word child marriages ? Don’t be such an imbecile and make things up yourself. I am not talking about 14, but maybe 18+. Islam allows it so you can keep your wannabe angrez opinions to yourself.
No matter whatever spin you want to put on it, I don’t think going around the block a couple of times and “tasting” stuff untill you are into late 30’s to get married is the way to go.
This topic consisted of people telling us how they got rishtas at 13-14, then you come up with a genuis post saying you find nothing wrong with it i.e. getting rishtas young and Nikaahs later hence giving the children NO choice, any person with an ounce of intelligence would put your post into context of the topic. :halo:
Secondly, who said about tasting stuff or going around the block? WTH? Just because I think a person should marry when he/she is mature enough how** ON EARTH** does that equate to me being ‘angraz wannabe’ or my post being interperted as saying I am all for ‘going around the block’? So basically you’re saying that people who wait until they are mature to marry (i.e. most posters here) have been ‘around the block’ or ‘tasting stuff’, and after that ludicorous line of thought you tell me that I AM an imbecile? Ja kay sheesha dekho. 
Use your intelligence and READ whats being posted and THEN reply. Instead of posting first and thinking later.
Re: Your First Rishta!
After someone has reached puberty, they can't really be considered a "child" anymore. Would you really consider a 12 year old a child? I would consider them adolescents or young adults. Some girls mature early and look much older. I was 16 and looked a few years younger than my 11 year old cousin.
Because times have changed and it takes people a long time to finish their education, and the fact that girls aim to get educated, the thought of thinking about marriage at young ages is disturbing to some. But somebody from a diff generation would not see this. Both my grandmothers got married in their early teens. I am sure many people's grandmother got married around that age. A friend of my mom's got married at 15, so it was only a generation ago. so people from around that time will not see a problem with this. As the current aunty generation ages a little, this won't be as common anymore.
Re: Your First Rishta!
The problem is that now religion has crept in the topic.
If you say child rishtas / marriages are a NO NO, you risk being labeled 'wannabe angrez'. Anti Islam, etc.
Maybe it was OK in the past, but in todays world - it is wrong.
....
Re: Your First Rishta!
I had my first rishta when I was 5 yrs old hehe :p It was for my mums cousin. All the elder men (his dad, mums dada jee etc) came to ask and my mum said "NO way" :p
Re: Your First Rishta!
in many families rishtas happen at birth time... like for my parents their rishta was fixed by their nana jan when mama was born....... as in he said keh unki wish hai keh these two rishta happens. my taya abba and bari khala and my parents. and they didnt knew about it untill before they were officially engaged. and they were asked that if they are ok with it.
i dont know about any rishtas coming in, my mom said she will tell when they think he is right for me. so dont know when wat came! :D
After someone has reached puberty, they can't really be considered a "child" anymore. Would you really consider a 12 year old a child? I would consider them adolescents or young adults. Some girls mature early and look much older. I was 16 and looked a few years younger than my 11 year old cousin.
Because times have changed and it takes people a long time to finish their education, and the fact that girls aim to get educated, the thought of thinking about marriage at young ages is disturbing to some. But somebody from a diff generation would not see this. Both my grandmothers got married in their early teens. I am sure many people's grandmother got married around that age. A friend of my mom's got married at 15, so it was only a generation ago. so people from around that time will not see a problem with this. As the current aunty generation ages a little, this won't be as common anymore.
I know the bit in bold is true Islamically but some of us reached puberty v.early (in my case it was 9), don't think it's wise to use puberty as a blanket indicator as to whether a person is emotionally mature enough to make sound decisions or take on 'adult' responsibilities..
Re: Your First Rishta!
At the end of the day a girl of 13 14 hasnt reached the maturity level that she should be at when thinking about marriage...id say 16 + is a good age...by good age i mean the minimum age..but i do think there is a lot of growing up to be done between 16 and 18 and then even further to for eg 21..
A cousin of mine was engaged when she was 13 the guy was 18 at the time (i think) anyway she got a masters in the end and a very good job and the guy...wel....he did nothing just used to sit around with his friends smoking weed etc...when it came to marriage when she was 25...well it was an obvious mismatch...
i had my first rishta when i was 10 (ewww) for my mums khala's son who is now an actual LOSER...to be fair they wanted to marry the passport that i hold lol...and then another rishta at 13...from my mums side..a distant cousin...it was a good family...and looking at it now would have been an ok match but you just never know with these things..and thank god my dad had the sense to say no.
Maybe it was OK in the past, but in todays world - it is wrong.
ahh O-K, that makes sense.
So, in today's world the prophet is wrong?
Or does it?
Re: Your First Rishta!
Taking the religious path, stops debate on child ristas / marriage - anything !!.
For everything is ordained. Ofcourse even this depends on the interpretation of different scholars (or mullas).
We have to sometimes keep religion on the side and debate rationally and logically.
This is what we do in 'Life & relationships.
Re: Your First Rishta!
as long as the boy/girl in question is physically+mentally/emotionally/psychologically matured then it's alright i guess, whatever the age might be...i have cousins who are married in their teen years, and it's not like their parents fixed their marriage or anything...they wanted to and thought they were prepared, so they went for it...
tht's what islam says anyway, as long as the guy and girl consent to it with no pressure on them and can shoulder the responsibility, theycan(and should) get married....
Re: Your First Rishta!
my fiance's grand father (his dad's dad) wanted him to get married to his first cousin...his dad's sister daughter. since her n my fiance r his 2 oldest grand kids and they r both 6 months apart and he loves them both a lot. when my fiance was 16 he went to pakistan cuz his grandpa was very sick and his grandpa wanted him to get "baat pakki" with that girl and that girl was completely ready (at 16!!) and her parents were forcing my fiance's parents to do a "baat paaki" thing so they can get them married in a few years.. my fiance said no at the time. then at 19, he met me..when he turned 20 that girl's parents asked again and they were waiting for an answer and my fiance's parents were kinda emotionally blackmailing him but he kept saying no to them. nothing seemed to be working so he had to tell them about me and they gave in. that girl's parents were extremely angry with my fiance n his parents and they got her married off to another guy from USA who is apparently very rich and very educated and she is better off with him cuz at least he has a good career n blah blah. btw, this girl was 20 when she was married off and that guy is 34 yrs old.... :S.
really creepy if u ask me.
and i used to hear abt rishtas and ignore cuz in my heart i had already chosen my life partner and mA now we r engaged! :)
p.s: when my fiance's parents went to pakistan to attend that girl's wedding who they wanted him to get married to..that girl's parents asked for my fiance's hand for her younger sister.. and they knew he had said no abt the older one cuz he was interested in someone else.. how creepy is that?
Re: Your First Rishta!
^proposing a rishta for their younger daughter to the same guy who rejected the older one?..seriously does pakistan lack suitors?
Taking the religious path, stops debate on child ristas / marriage - anything !!. For everything is ordained. Ofcourse even this depends on the interpretation of different scholars (or mullas).
We have to sometimes keep religion on the side and debate rationally and logically. This is what we do in 'Life & relationships.
Please answer my original question.
Your message implies religion is without rationale and logic.
But lets look at your "debate". How can something be OK at one point, and then you turn around and say its not OK now? Were humans, super humans back then? Surely if something is wrong now, it must have been wrong back then.
So now you tell me who is without rationale or logic?
Best thing you’ve said all thread. :k:
Re: Your First Rishta!
Why do men fight everywhere they go?
because of women
She/he (what are you snowy_winter?) called me an imbecile which I didn’t take kindly to. 
Sahar…
As I said you females here must have something that attracted the older pervs.
Re: Your First Rishta!
^ More likely their moms.