Re: Your appearance and desi culture
Its not just the Pakistanis that are going away from reading books.
I understand we might have lots of **** to work on but seriously people, you're saying the same kind of thing that Black, White, Yellow and Brown people everywhere say about their own races. Everyone has **** to sort out.
Y U NO LOVE URSELF?!
aray aap tou senti ho gaye.
Re: Your appearance and desi culture
Oh no, you didn't!
Re: Your appearance and desi culture
Well then, I think your wish came true with Pakistanis. Now here's something to laugh about. :D
no it didn't...infact, they tell me i m very down-to-earth to their surprise, when girls like me there usually are not
Re: Your appearance and desi culture
when at a davat, someone asked my mom to put me on a diet (I was around 7-8 years old)
when at a jewelry shop, the girl was measuring my fingers/hand for a ring/bracelet and she was like “amma aap ko kafi khana khilaati hain haina?” (your mom feeds you alot)
don’t think I’ve ever had a gora/non desi person come outta nowhere and say something.
Not that it has anything to do with the discussion on hand, I don’t think goras are angels and I dont think desis are devils…but yeah, just relating my essperience here. 
Re: Your appearance and desi culture
"aray kitni moti hogayi ho"
"aray, foundation thori light karo"
Blah
Blah
Blah
Okay so I have heard these comments from people...and they've all been desies. I don't recall a single non-desi being that way...wonder why.
As far as what made me confident...I don't know. I think I like who and what I am. Allah swt has given me many gifts:
I like the fact that I always find a way to be happy in almost any situation...no matter how bad. I don't allow myself to dwell on peoples' idiocy...I am my own coach. I find a way to let it out, deal with it and move on. I keep myself removed from most drama...many find me oblivious but its my way of keeping my life simple.
The world can be a very nasty place...but that doesn't mean I have to be miserable with it.
Re: Your appearance and desi culture
Few blogs and threads have made me ask this question. Why do desis make fun of others who are short or dark or fat or too thin?
I was one of the shortest girls in my year in school and many times other girls used to make fun of my height....even worse my relatives (aunts, cousins etc) were the same. I grew up with this inferiority complex about my height.
In western society, it's totally different and the amount of attention and compliments I received here has somehow made me earn the confidence back.
Why are desis back home so mean?
Western philosophy is based on:
Freedom of speech.
No Discrimination.
No one is above law.
this is your answer.
Re: Your appearance and desi culture
The worst is at a wedding, when aunty-jis comment on the bride’s appearance. “thora weight toh kam karti… Larkay ki amma lagrahi hai… Acha dulha phasaaya hai… Makeup bohat dark hai” etc etc. I think its so silly, no one says that to the moti gori brides bulging out of their strapless gowns! Defo a very desi-aunty thing to do.
Personally I have got comments like “you should go running in parks. There must be plenty in london. Would help with your bum.” and id only JUST met this woman on the day lol! It felt odd that she’d been analysing me like that tbh 
And the fact is, I’m much more self concious when im in pakistan or in large pakistani gatherings because i feel everyone is judging me on my appearance. In my experience Indian gatherings are much more kinder. Could just be my experience of it but i know many people who would agree.
Re: Your appearance and desi culture
Well I don't have any nasty stories from people back home, mainly because of the quality of the crowd we hang around with and besides we (sisters) really don't look like people that you can randomly go up to and say stupid/mean things. I think thats mainly to with the fact we're pretty much known as our parents' daughters than random subjects, so people to an extent have to watch what they say to us. Besides, we're pretty much the "smile, assalamulikum/waliukumusalm...smile... aap kesi hai/mai theek hoon.... smile...khuda hafiz... smile" type. With my khala/phuppo making the usual 'khul ke kaho..beta yeh kaho...wo kaho', well they're my aunts and I'm frank and confident enough to reply them with witty/jokey response that successfully makes us all laugh and somehow leads to another joke.
But I have noticed that desis (and I'm talking about young girls also) have this disgusting obsession with weight and skin tones. Curvy (read flabby) girls taking digs at skinny girls, dusky girl insulting fair tones to make herself look good. You can talk about lot of other things with people back home, make conversation, share information etc etc but I dread being around the so called born and bred 'I'm not desi' but super paindoo Asians of UK. Those good for nothing housewives and their big mouths, now those gatherings are proper pain in the ass.
Re: Your appearance and desi culture
Well I don't have any nasty stories from people back home, mainly because of the quality of the crowd we hang around with and besides we (sisters) really don't look like people that you can randomly go up to and say mean things. We're pretty much the "smile, assalamulikum/waliukumusalm...smile... aap kesi hai/mai theek hoon.... smile...khuda hafiz... smile" type. With my khala/phuppo making the usual 'khul ke kaho..beta yeh kaho...wo kaho', well they're my aunts and I'm frank and confident enough to reply them with witty/jokey response that successfully makes us all laugh and somehow leads to another joke.
But I have noticed that desis (and I'm talking about young girls also) have this disgusting obsession with weight and skin tones. Curvy (read flabby) girls taking digs at skinny girls, dusky girl insulting fair tones to make herself look good. You can talk about lot of other things with people back home, make conversation, share information etc etc but I dread being around the so called born and bred 'I'm not desi' but super paindoo Asians of UK. Those good for nothing housewives and their big mouths, now those gatherings are proper pain in the ass.
I actually remember you talking about desi aunties cussing at you and your sis for being skinny. Or may be that was a fragment of my imagination.
Re: Your appearance and desi culture
I actually remember you talking about desi aunties cussing at you and your sis for being skinny. Or may be that was a fragment of my imagination.
Yes and that would be the paindoo desi crowd of London, people back home were pretty nice to all of us.
Even the Asian girls at her school would always talk about her 5"8 1/2 long frame and athletic body type.
Btw, where the hell did I say "cussing"? Now that really is a fragment of your imagination.
Re: Your appearance and desi culture
Yes and that would be the paindoo desi crowd of London, people back home were pretty nice to all of us.
Even the Asian girls at her school would always talk about her 5"8 1/2 long frame and athletic body type.
So in the end it comes down to our experiences.
Re: Your appearance and desi culture
No no...its the quality of the crowd we are hanging around
Re: Your appearance and desi culture
No no...its the quality of the crowd we are hanging around
Right. :)
Re: Your appearance and desi culture
So in the end it comes down to our experiences.
Experiences and the type of person you are. Sometimes I have this censor in my mind that useless information comes in from one ear and out from the another within a second, my brain doesn't even let me remember some of the junk being said.
Maybe desi one day will be as good as goras and if they develop bit of thick skin and wit.
Re: Your appearance and desi culture
No no...its the quality of the crowd we are hanging around
Thats true.
One has to be a real classless clown to say pass an incredibly mean remark on a young teenager's face.
Not all aunties like to compete with young girls, the ones that do actually have bigger agenda. Stay away from people that have bit of history in family politics and you'll be fine.
Re: Your appearance and desi culture
hmmm.
Re: Your appearance and desi culture
...but it just happens to be that you see it more in desi people
Isn't that maybe because you interact more with desis? You know them more deeply.
Re: Your appearance and desi culture
They do it but it's pretty rare for a white adult to make a negative comment about a child's looks..
I don't know. I have seen that happening few times, so cannot make any conclusion from that information. But then again for every desi who makes negative remark about a child, there are so many who dont do that.
However, I would blame lot of desi parents for letting others make negative comments about their child. If you make clear that you don't let anyone mess with your child, the douchebags won't dare to do it.
Re: Your appearance and desi culture
So I gather it's just the born and bred super paindoo Asian aunties in West who are nasty?
So being paindoo is a bad thing too?
Re: Your appearance and desi culture
when at a davat, someone asked my mom to put me on a diet (I was around 7-8 years old)
when at a jewelry shop, the girl was measuring my fingers/hand for a ring/bracelet and she was like "amma aap ko kafi khana khilaati hain haina?" (your mom feeds you alot)
What a mother of a donkey that girl was.
Such people need to be treated on the same way they treat others. It shuts them up and they wont dare to behave like that again. Idiots.