Few blogs and threads have made me ask this question. Why do desis make fun of others who are short or dark or fat or too thin?
I was one of the shortest girls in my year in school and many times other girls used to make fun of my height…even worse my relatives (aunts, cousins etc) were the same. I grew up with this inferiority complex about my height.
In western society, it’s totally different and the amount of attention and compliments I received here has somehow made me earn the confidence back.
I think girls have to face a lot about these things. Being moti, Kali, Patli, chutki are some factors which are discussed by friends, family and especially would be in-laws. Its because Desi Ammas treat their sons that they are Shahzad Gulfam (in reality they may be compared with Zakoota Jin) and keep on feeding that they will find for them 'chand si dulhan'. Moti, Kali, Chutki, girls are considered as 'Khota sikka' by family as they can think of the problems they have to face for getting these girls married.
This is not the universal scenario in Desi families, but you can observe these things around you most of the time.
Desis are less PC and that's about it (That doesn't mean you should address the issue).
You will get stick for being short, fat and ugly everywhere in the world.
And if you're older, you're just not being laughed at in your face; it still happens behind your back.
Desis are less PC and that's about it (That doesn't mean you should address the issue).
You will get stick for being short, fat and ugly everywhere in the world.
And if you're older, you're just not being laughed at in your face; it still happens behind your back.
True story.
What people do and say behind my back should not be any of my concern.
Thing is people should embrace their "faults" in order to be a confident person, and that is easier to do when you are outside the desi society. You can be praised for being petite, curvy and olive skinned instead of being criticized for being short, fat, dark and ugly.
Desis are less PC and that's about it (That doesn't mean you should address the issue).
**You will get stick for being short, fat and ugly everywhere in the world.
**And if you're older, you're just not being laughed at in your face; it still happens behind your back.
True story.
Its just so typical of teenage years, and you're right, it just happens everywhere and everyone at some stage in their life. I knew very pretty non desi girls in school who were also reminded of their so called flaws by their very close friends and relatives. Some were picked on for their very pale skin, ginger hair, freckles, nose, skinny frame, flat chest etc etc. Besides, people naturally tend to be very blunt with folks they know well enough, its not like Desis go around tell random people on their face that you're ugly or whatever.
Its just so typical of teenage years, and you're right, it just happens everywhere and everyone at some stage in their life. I knew very pretty non desi girls in school who were also reminded of their so called flaws by their very close friends and relatives. Besides, people naturally tend to be very blunt with folks they know well enough, its not like Desis go around tell random people on their face that you're ugly or whatever.
Yeah, but point is it's easier for people in West who don't have to deal with dozens of aunties and uncles and go through a typical rishta process etc.
Yeah, but point is it's easier for people in West who don't have to deal with dozens of aunties and uncles and go through a typical rishta process etc.
Yeah maybe. But I went to school here in West and I know that growing up here with so called 'flaws' can also be very hard. Some of the kids from your own age group are as mean as evil as some the uncles and aunties back home.
Its just so typical of teenage years, and you're right, it just happens everywhere and everyone at some stage in their life. I knew very pretty non desi girls in school who were also reminded of their so called flaws by their very close friends and relatives. Some were picked on for their very pale skin, ginger hair, freckles, nose, skinny frame, flat chest etc etc. Besides, people naturally tend to be very blunt with folks they know well enough, its not like Desis go around tell random people on their face that you're ugly or whatever.
They probably judge me more than desis do but not on my face. In desi and non-desi schools, among kids the reason of making fun and bullying can be understood but when I compare desi adults to non-desi adults, I think non-desi adults are polite about it. But again, I have no non-desi relatives and I don’t know how one’s non-desi relatives act in such situations. But the general public is more understanding and accepting towards physical appearance issues in West.
Having said that, I might be wrong and this could be just the way I perceive them.
^ This reminds of another thread where someone said I never found Princess Diana beautiful because she had a long nose. And I was like whatttttt... only a desi is capable of having such thinking and sadly enough the person wasn't an aunty. (or maybe I don't know enough).
And its not an attack or anything but that its a very percise reflection how desi minds work soemtimes and I find it very sad.
"Besides, people naturally tend to be very blunt with folks they know well enough, its not like Desis go around tell random people on their face that you're ugly or whatever."
I don't agree. I think they have an unhealthy obsession with what other people look like and feel the need to comment.
The first time I went to Pakistan, people I had never met previously in my life (and no relation) thought they needed to make comments on how thin I was and how I needed to be more 'healthy'.
And another time when I stayed with a friend for a few days in Lahore and we went out with her friends, her male friends could not stop "taking the mickey" (this is for you, Hareem) about the fact I wore glasses... like wtf? I was in my mid twenties btw.
Now, I don't give a crap but it is annoying. Like I want your opinion??
In college days i gained weight, and became quite gol matol and the aunty crew made me feel fatter than i was, and because my skin being fair kids used to call me snowman and really did get to me. Saying things like bechari kitni pyari hai lekin itni moti hai, and once one of them gave me a big talk about how nobody will come for my rishta etc etc.
Couple of years later i got engaged in family, it ended badly, then i lost weight, simply because i wanted to look better not for anyone else, and guess what these aunties go and say? That i lost weight coz of depression and that i deserve it because i put my family through alot, and they dont even call me by name they say 'chitti chuwi'. I'm glad mum doesn't associate with them anymore
Little do they know I'm the happiest and healthiest now than I've ever been and some people have a bad habit of putting others down.
You just have to develop thick skin because there will always be someone who states faults in even very beautiful people, not looking in the mirror themselves
Desis are less PC and that's about it (That doesn't mean you should address the issue).
You will get stick for being short, fat and ugly everywhere in the world.
And if you're older, you're just not being laughed at in your face; it still happens behind your back.
True story.
that.....
PS..... do desis do it only?........ desi race needs to be remixed i think.......way too many issues :(
