Re: Your appearance and desi culture
So I gather it's just the born and bred super paindoo Asian aunties in West who are nasty?
So being paindoo is a bad thing too?
I am paindoo and i am not bad :(
Re: Your appearance and desi culture
So I gather it's just the born and bred super paindoo Asian aunties in West who are nasty?
So being paindoo is a bad thing too?
No this is not what you gather from this thread. I am the only one here who had a bad experience with desis in a Western country instead of desis in a jungle called Pakistan. Forgive me for ruining the flow of your thread. I can edit my post to your liking if it doesn't sit too well with you. You clearly don't sound very happy.
Paindoo as in being backward is a bad thing, in my eyes.
Re: Your appearance and desi culture
I am paindoo and i am not bad :(
I know :(
No this is not what you gather from this thread. I am the only one here who had a bad experience with desis in a Western country instead of desis in a jungle called Pakistan. forgive me for ruining the flow of your thread. I can edit my post to your liking if it doesn't sit too well with you.
Paindoo as in being backward is a bad thing, in my eyes.
No it's okay...I like reading others' opinions. That's the point of this whole discussion.
Re: Your appearance and desi culture
I have had bad experiences with desis in a western country too. And these people are from cities in Pakistan and they are educated. So their backwards behavior is called paindu-ness?
I am a Paindu (and not to ‘miaN mitthu’ myself) but my behavior and thoughts are nowhere near such backwardness. Does that make me a shehri?
I am confused now 
Re: Your appearance and desi culture
Oh the legendary define a paindoo debate.
Okay, you are good paindoo then. I was talking about the bad ones.
Re: Your appearance and desi culture
joriyan and matches aasmonon pai banti hain, so your comment doesnt make much sense
Re: Your appearance and desi culture
The paindu debate is a legit concern. Atleast to me it is.
Why is it that everything negative is associated with paindu?
But that has nothing to do with the topic.
But yes, it does offend me :k:
Re: Your appearance and desi culture
Reading your posts, I won’t consider you a paindoo.
For me its people with certain ideologies not background or status.
Re: Your appearance and desi culture
Apologies, When i said Pakistan, i didnt mean only Pakistan. I just meant any place where theres a large desi gathering, so it could be gatherings in London, Pakistan or anywhere in the world. Obviously family, friends and relatives would never say anything intentionally mean or hurtful. Paindus or social-elites, no one mingles in gatherings where they feel the people might make mean remarks about them. I thought the topic was insensitive comments from desi strangers?
Re: Your appearance and desi culture
I don't know. I have seen that happening few times, so cannot make any conclusion from that information. But then a*gain for every desi who makes negative remark about a child,* there are so many who dont do that. However, I would blame lot of desi parents for letting others make negative comments about their child. If you make clear that you don't let anyone mess with your child, the douchebags won't dare to do it.
Couldn't agree more.
Parents need to watch whats being said to their child and young teenagers must communicate with their parents if they're feelings and self esteem was hurt by certain remark by a certain family member/friend. Let your parents take the wise step and make sure you don't go through that experience again or at least, the chances are minimized. Decide the right time to sit in the room full of adults and choose the right adults to be around....not every adult is out there to make you feel bad. My mum and certain women in our social circles are also aunties, and being in their company is an absolute pleasure, its comforting...its just a different experience. Yet there are those means ones who only deserve a brief salam and off you go...you musn't be seen anywhere near them. Its bad for your own health.
I really think young adults should be using a trick or two to avoid being the target in such situations. Be little pro-active in your ways.
Re: Your appearance and desi culture
joriyan and matches aasmonon pai banti hain, so your comment doesnt make much sense
Arey Aap Toh Senti Ho Gaye!!!
Re: Your appearance and desi culture
You know, I don't know why people think these negative qualities are limited to or even more apparent in desis. You'll find mean people in any crowd, I assure you.
Re: Your appearance and desi culture
Couldn't agree more.
Parents need to watch whats being said to their child and young teenagers must communicate with their parents if they're feelings and self esteem was hurt by certain remark by a certain family member/friend. Let your parents take the wise step and make sure you don't go through that experience again or at least, the chances are minimized. Decide the right time to sit in the room full of adults and choose the right adults to be around....not every adult is out there to make you feel bad. My mum and certain women in our social circles are also aunties, and being in their company is an absolute pleasure, its comforting...its just a different experience. Yet there are those means ones who only deserve a brief salam and off you go...you musn't be seen anywhere near them. Its bad for your own health.
I really think young adults should be using a trick or two to avoid being the target in such situations. Be little pro-active in your ways.
That would be so wonderful wouldn't it? if only some kids were smart enough to be proactive....
It works...but only if the parents in this case have the ability to stand up for their kid and sadly not all parents do, I do know of some who when their kids were teased or made fun of...instead of helping them overcome potential self esteem issues, they added on to it by telling them to change whatever they were being teased about (i.e., lose weight so ppl dont make fun of u, use whitening creams so ur not so dark etc).
Thats true.
One has to be a real classless clown to say pass an incredibly mean remark on a young teenager's face.
Not all aunties like to compete with young girls, the ones that do actually have bigger agenda. Stay away from people that have bit of history in family politics and you'll be fine.
I don't agree that it's about the crowd you hang out with, at least not when you get stupid comments.
Someone above asked if a random person ever made comments to you, and some of us gave examples....so, hello, they were random people...so how is it our fault that they're saying such things?
and this pretty much goes for most insensitive comments that we come across, not just ones regarding looks/weight...
Re: Your appearance and desi culture
That would be so wonderful wouldn't it? if only some kids were smart enough to be proactive.... It works...but only if the parents in this case have the ability to stand up for their kid and sadly not all parents do, I do know of some who when their kids were teased or made fun of...instead of helping them overcome potential self esteem issues, they added on to it by telling them to change whatever they were being teased about (i.e., lose weight so ppl dont make fun of u, use whitening creams so ur not so dark etc).
...And that was the whole point, the new generation parents must take proactive steps to stop their child being teased by their own relatives. Things are not so hopeless in my view here. My cousin has a 14 year old girl and she's very mindful of the fact whats being said to her, why its being said and how her daughter's taking it. And I'm beginning to across many new young mothers like her. I think its wonderful and its about time we start educating people and try to change their attitude for good. If I were in your position, I would ever so politely tell the parent to change her attitude because its simply very hurtful to the child's esteem...its clearly not a right thing to teach. I feel quite strongly about this issue and I'd make sure that I chip in my point...the rest is upto them.
We can't go back in time and reverse some of the comments being said to us by involving our parents or changing their attitude
[QUOTE]
I don't agree that it's about the crowd you hang out with, at least not when you get stupid comments.
Someone above asked if a random person ever made comments to you, and some of us gave examples....so, hello, they were random people...*so how is it our fault that they're saying such things? *
and this pretty much goes for most insensitive comments that we come across, not just ones regarding looks/weight...
[/QUOTE]
Oh Pleasseeeee!! The choice of crowd was basically my own experience, that's how I think I keep myself safe to a large extent. It works for me. If it doesn't apply to you, it doesn't apply to you. I think someone had also ask if relatives also make mean remarks and I gave an example. Wasn't looking to receive collective approval or disapproval over my own personal experience. You can totally choose to ignore it, if it rings a bell for someone...cool. If not, then get over it. I
Re: Your appearance and desi culture
Oh Pleasseeeee!! The choice of crowd was basically my own experience, that's how I think I keep myself safe to a large extent. It works for me. If it doesn't apply to you, it doesn't apply to you. I think someone had also ask if relatives also make mean remarks and I gave an example. Wasn't looking to receive collective approval or disapproval over my own personal experience. You can totally choose to ignore it, if it rings a bell for someone...cool. If not, then get over it. I
what are you even on about??
yeah, the keeping yourself in a good crowd makes sense and works....but only if the complaints are coming from the same person/group of people over and over.
But there are cases where RANDOM PEOPLE will come up to you and say weird things...so again, how are you supposed to protect yourself against that? You don't exactly bring it up on yourself....sound like a familiar argument? :D
Re: Your appearance and desi culture
don’t hang around with desi people you bewakoof lots 
when will you learn to avoid them…
Re: Your appearance and desi culture
what are you even on about??
yeah, the keeping yourself in a good crowd makes sense and works....but only if the complaints are coming from the same person/group of people over and over.
*But there are cases where RANDOM PEOPLE will come up to you and say weird things...so again, how are you supposed to protect yourself against that? You don't exactly bring it up on yourself....sound like a familiar argument? *:D
I don't know, never happened to me.
Re: Your appearance and desi culture
\Now tell me, how many times did it happen that a non relative/ajnabee desi come to you to make a stupid remark about your appearance?
I've dealt with such crap more from my relos. But among non-relatives/ajmabis...again, I've seen more of this behavior with desis. A non-related aunti who feels the need to point out some flaw in your hair/weight/skin and then proceed to advise you openly in front of other aunties...putting you on the spot.....while you stand there feeling awkward. And it can sometimes for the stupidest stuff....if you failed to smile at a particular moment....they can't let that go either...you're now henceforth going to be labeled moody. God forbid you try to defend yourself....and you'll be called taiz. I've met some toxic goray laug as well.....but again I've seen more of this habit among desis.
I've now decided that I've stayed patient for way too long....for years even. So I'm just going to put them in their place with nicely worded comments of my own, from time to time.
Re: Your appearance and desi culture
I've dealt with such crap more from my relos. But among non-relatives/ajmabis...again, I've seen more of this behavior with desis. A non-related aunti who feels the need to point out some flaw in your hair/weight/skin and then proceed to advise you openly in front of other aunties...putting you on the spot.....while you stand there feeling awkward. And it can sometimes for the stupidest stuff....if you failed to smile at a particular moment....they can't let that go either...you're now henceforth going to be labeled moody. God forbid you try to defend yourself....and you'll be called taiz. I've met some toxic goray laug as well.....but again I've seen more of this habit among desis.
I've now decided that I've stayed patient for way too long....for years even. So I'm just going to put them in their place with nicely worded comments of my own, from time to time.
I actually meant a total stranger. Who you have never met before.
But I agree with you that some people need to have their tongues cut off.
Re: Your appearance and desi culture
No issues with anyone being as politically incorrect with me regarding anything, as long as they have the ability to get the same back in return. should I choose to respond...
I started thinning on the back of my noggin and a cousin of mine was all over it, until I asked her what she was planning to do with all the craters on her face due to acne...oh nooo, ..... that is a no go zone, now I am the bad guy, and she is in tears and what nots.
it may be a household thing though, when i was 19 and went from being a lanky kid to buff due to working out, her 5'5" dad .. my phuppa commented how my head looked small in proportion to my body, and I just responded that it was just fine, but but him being so short and looking up his perspective was all screwy....oh nooooo...now he is mad cuz I called his punk ass short, I am the badtameez guy.
as snap said
stay off my back
or i will attack
and you don't want that :)