yes i am "kali", sue me

Lifestyle Relationships
81

Re: yes i am "kali", sue me

abb sari achee shakal walay rude, mean, senseless, ungrateful, selfish, boring, disrespectful nahin hotay. Shakal ka achar tu nahin dalna but physical attraction is extremely important among other things when building and even keeping a relationship alive. my 2 cents! :D

82

Re: yes i am “kali”, sue me

likewise :blush: tall sanwley/tanned guys :hayaa:

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Re: yes i am "kali", sue me

Aray yaar who is saying that? I was talking about personality vs shakal NOT achi shakal vs buri shakal. Read that post again.

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Re: yes i am "kali", sue me

Having said all that, you still havent answered my question. What is my rejecting a fair, tall, handsome guy; fine or wrong?!

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Re: yes i am "kali", sue me

rejecting anyone on the basis of looks is wrong in my humble opinion :@:

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Re: yes i am "kali", sue me

^ if that answer was asked to me I would say yes I will only reject a tall handsome fair guy if his personality is not what I m looking for because up to some extend u can chose ur personality as in if u are religious, give respect to others, lie or don't lie, take rishwat or not, responsible or not. etc.
Getting married to someone based on skin color is just a corrupt thought.
I understand the attraction bit, like it's ok if u don't get attracted toward some that could be goes or kala, but looking at girl's picture or go to her house to see her and saying no just cuz of her skin color isn't what make sense to you. Maybe dude if u have looked at her beyond her color u would have gotten attracted toward her.

87

Re: yes i am "kali", sue me

So if there is no attraction, its ok and we shud still go ahead with the proposal and then later suffer in the marriage?!

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Re: yes i am "kali", sue me

c'mon u will suffer in the marriage coz of the looks of the person???? ha!

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Re: yes i am "kali", sue me

I agree. But who gets a chance to go beyond the looks and interact and then decide?.

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Re: yes i am "kali", sue me

Well not cuz of looks but cuz of the lack of attraction. Need i elaborate further?

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Re: yes i am "kali", sue me

^if itz about physical attraction then as long as the person is "Qabool Soorat", things can work..:@:

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Re: yes i am "kali", sue me

^ and if someone tall, handsome and fair is not Qabool soorat to me, that must make me a very very bad person?

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Re: yes i am "kali", sue me

well if a qabool soorat person is not qabool surat to u,then it might be something other than the looks that is not meeting ur standards...

and of-course nothing here makes u a very very bad person ..:)

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Re: yes i am "kali", sue me

Lolz. Nahi yar. All that i am trying to say is that sometimes everything can be good about the rishta as in the family seems alrite, the guy's educated n looks good according to what people term as "good" BUT if you don't feel attracted to him and having a look at his pics is only a way for you to base your decision on then is it something i should be judged on if i don't go ahead with the proposal and waste either of the familie's time :).

95

Re: yes i am "kali", sue me

Gora rang promise attraction?? We aren't discussing achi or buri shakal here we are talking about ppl's obsession with fairness.

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Re: yes i am "kali", sue me

I think i perhaps havent put across, what i have wanted to say, the right way. Let me try again for the last time :p.

1) When and Where i said gora rung promise attraction? Infact i gave my example how i didnt find attraction in a fair, tall n handsome guy. Hence i was only suggesting that every individual has their likes n dislikes and they are entitled to their choice.

2) For me, its not in fairness/darkness of color where attraction lies BUT for some it is. Why is it such a fuss to accept that?. I wouldnt want to marry a fat guy even though i am not model slim myself either, does that mean i am overdemanding or have some kind of complex? I don't think so.

I am in no way saying basing your opinion on a person based on their complexion is right BUT being attracted or not attracted based on it is not a crime either.

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Re: yes i am “kali”, sue me

wah g wah..well said :k:

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Re: yes i am "kali", sue me

I got your point maham and I do think it's a good point. It's different I guess if you are attracted toward a gori girl, but maybe I m not giving a clear idea of my point which is: a guy who sent a proposal for me few years ago told me (few days ago) that when his bhabi saw me the first time she told him that I m perfect girl fir him "more for reason of green card than anything" but mai kali hon, so think before sending that rishta. And that bugged me cuz the guy hadn't even seen me to decide if he would be attracted toward me or not but it's prematurely decided that since I m dark I m not acceptable.
And my point was also those fair and lively ads where girls get rishta, get jobs, become rock star only by getting fairer.
I understand attraction cuz I strongly believe in it but again my point is more like when an aunty see two siblings one is fair another one darker she comments to the mother that gora bacha is cuter and kala wala is not. And that thought injected in their newer generation's mind that kala pan is not acceptable.
It's not about attraction it's about a mind set.

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Re: yes i am "kali", sue me

Ok. I get your point too BUT don't you think the guy is also a jerk IF he listened to his bhabi and couldnt see any further possibility with you based on what she said. I am sure if he is marriagable, he is not 10-12 who goes bt what he is told.

And totally agree with you abt those ads which are responsible on further instigating in us that being fair is the way to go about everything. It totally sucks.

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Re: yes i am "kali", sue me

Yes he was a jerk but even though he was it still hurt me that people look at me that way and think of me that way.
I m going to make sure my siblings and my own children don't think that way one day.