Re: yes i am "kali", sue me
Having said all that, you still havent answered my question. What is my rejecting a fair, tall, handsome guy; fine or wrong?!
If you're rejecting a guy based on his skin color, its wrong.
I hope thats clear enough for you.
Re: yes i am "kali", sue me
living in Pakistan I realized these people are surrounded with inferior complex. They tend to lower down others to make them selves feel superior. I have heard it so many times K ooh woh toh kali hai but yaar woh toh mooti hai. Jeez man!! This world is far beyond moti and kali yar. A girl has to be a beautiful mannequin. Demaag ho ya na ho no body gives a damn. Its the society and their mentality dont let it lower down ur spirits. Whenever u go thru or hear something like this, jes remember k Its the lack of awareness and understanding beyond a certain projected image by media. They dont use their head!! They are parrhe likhe jahil at times.
Re: yes i am "kali", sue me
Yes he was a jerk but even though he was it still hurt me that people look at me that way and think of me that way. I m going to make sure my siblings and my own children don't think that way one day.
That's the right way to go about it. You shouldnt let these things get to you, i know its hard but you are such a confident girl and i am sure you understand that reservations of some people for your skin color doesnt make you any less pretty.
If you're rejecting a guy based on his skin color, its wrong.
I hope thats clear enough for you.
Ok. And i don't think its fair to say its wrong or right. Anyways, each to their own.
Re: yes i am "kali", sue me
Its an inferiority complex and nothing more than that. Khud ki cheez buri lagti hai aur agar gora vo hi cheez pehne to ek dam se vo hi cheez pyari hogayee.
Goray jo karte hein or jaise rehte hein, unki har baat copy karni hai. Unka rang, unke kapray, etc etc etc. If a gora jumps from a ten story building, there will be at least ten desies behind him.
On a more serious note, I have noticed this among our Pakistanis a lot. If they are even MILDLY MILDLY fair skinned, they seem to think its a badge of pride. Like its a qualification or a positive point that deserves admiration. Do people not realize how stupid they sound when they brag about these things? Or how jaahil and ganwaar they seem? Or how inferior they find themselves?
I also think its disturbing to see this mentality trickling down into our children. I dont want my child to think gora rang is beautiful...I want him/her to see past color and look at a person's face, heart, honesty and everything else he/she has to offer.
Re: yes i am “kali”, sue me
Unfortuntely? That is reverse discrimintion!
Tall fair guys are human too…
Re: yes i am “kali”, sue me
of course they are..but i have always idealized the other one:chilly:
Re: yes i am "kali", sue me
I have had people compliment my skin tone and I love it because every color pretty much suits me. When I set foot in pakistan my own family members think that i am not that light skinned. I have learned to be very comfortable with my own skin color so the rest is just every day chatter!
Re: yes i am "kali", sue me
Its an inferiority complex and nothing more than that. Khud ki cheez buri lagti hai aur agar gora vo hi cheez pehne to ek dam se vo hi cheez pyari hogayee.
Goray jo karte hein or jaise rehte hein, unki har baat copy karni hai. Unka rang, unke kapray, etc etc etc. If a gora jumps from a ten story building, there will be at least ten desies behind him.
**On a more serious note, I have noticed this among our Pakistanis a lot. If they are even MILDLY MILDLY fair skinned, they seem to think its a badge of pride. Like its a qualification or a positive point that deserves admiration. Do people not realize how stupid they sound when they brag about these things? Or how jaahil and ganwaar they seem? Or how inferior they find themselves?
**I also think its disturbing to see this mentality trickling down into our children. I dont want my child to think gora rang is beautiful...I want him/her to see past color and look at a person's face, heart, honesty and everything else he/she has to offer.
Reha you are so right! Once I was at a party with Pakistani girls simply bragging about how fair they were! They were like" ohhh people think I'm scandinavian" Plus, I've noticed that when a desi girl has been told she looks fair, she has this superior behaviour towards the rest - treats you as is you are their servant.... Trust me, I've witnessed this alot -
Re: yes i am “kali”, sue me
^ Its not only the girls…I know a guy who thinks its awesome that his birth certificate mistakenly says “Caucasian” instead of Asian. He brags about it and thinks the rest of the world finds him attractive. He puts pictures of himself on facebook in swimming trunks looking so pasty it hurts the eyes 
Sadly, he isnt the only example. Its lack of self-esteem that drives people to think this way. Look at our fashion forums…full of girls trying to bleach their skin and get a fair complexion. Why? Because we’re not happy with what God gave us OR the image of who we are. We think if we’re fair…it sets us apart from the rest of the desies…we’re better than them. But who are they? Pakistani. And who are you? Pakistani.
Will being fair change that?
Re: yes i am "kali", sue me
^this mentality is something which only we can really get rid of. Take me for example, having grown up in the west and all, I think that I am past such a prejudice and I completely agree that the other traits that have been mentioned are far more important than this so called gora rang. For me, my fiance/husband being fair not fair or anything inbetween was/is a non-issue. BUT, for me personally I am paranoid about looking 'kali.' I have only spent holiday time in Pakistan, yet when I am there, I am literally scared of staying out in the sun incase I go brown, even I know it is stupid, but it matters to others, so it begins to matter to you! For me I don't think my skin colour makes me any better a person, but after being around that mentality, it does begin to seem that if I was darker it would be a negative point.
Re: yes i am "kali", sue me
^I totally know what you are talking about. It is same with me I m fine the way I look but other people's negative approach toward my skin color sometimes corrupts my own mind too and that is not good at all.
Once I even thought that I don't want marry a guy with dark skin only because then my kids are going to be dark also and I will hate it for my daughter to go through what I have been through when it cames to desi standard of beauty. But soon enough I realize my own stupid thoughts and now I m ashamed of thinking that way.
Re: yes i am "kali", sue me
whats the big deal about preferences, each culture has its own general definitions of what they consider attractive, and it can change over time, some people in that culture agree with that definition of beauty, some dont. If someone does not meet the general definition of attractive, why would people want to go and change societal views en masse and not focus on finding someone who finds them beautiful. Changing the way a society thinks is not a short term role anyways.
whether it is something that is not in one's control complexion, height, features, race, ethnicity or something that is in control e.g. weight, or choices made, career, lifestyle, etc etc One should be comfortable in one's own skin and go on living their life.
Re: yes i am "kali", sue me
^we have already discussed ur points in last 6 pages. If u go back and read them u will get an answer.
Re: yes i am "kali", sue me
nyah cant be bothered
Re: yes i am “kali”, sue me
" SCRATCHING HEAD "… 
This post is exactly the same as Ganja Post…
LOL
Whats Going On ?
Re: yes i am "kali", sue me
err , mmmm , no need to sue anybody , just use Fair and Lovely for a few weeks and you will start shinning like a gori .
Re: yes i am "kali", sue me
nyah cant be bothered
Well u asked
Re: yes i am "kali", sue me
I think the topic has been discussed too much.....and now same things are repeated again..time to close the thread In my opinon..