you are right, but it's not right, and people need to change their mentality. i understand that people have certain criteria for their spouse, but to me it's not justified to have a shallow criteria that could hurt someone else's feelings. people in pakistan look down on girls with darker skin tone, and it's insulting and rude. we need to talk about it and change our pathetic approach to issues like this.
yes people have their own choices, but that one choice of choosing fair skin over dark skin is evolved from the inferiority complex that people in south asia had when Britishers ruled them.
@ yanzla. Congrats girl. Ur a very confident girl and that's amazing.
Though i am a little confused on the issue here. Everyone has the right to want the type of the partner they do so i guess at the end of the day if someone wants a fair, tall, slim girl its ok. HOWEVER having such expectations from your partner and denying them the same right is very wrong. We do see often how mostly girls have to go thru this...the guys can be as odd looking as they are but their mothers would insist on nothing but a perfect girl. Now that is ridicoulous.
At the end of the day everyone has to let go of something because nobody is perfect. Some may value the family, education, etc more than the physical appearance while for some it may be the other way around. Each to their own.
I think its a pathetic thing to look for in a person. Why would you look for something so shallow in someone you're going to spend the rest of your life with? Would people not want the union of their lives with another person to be about more than their skin color?
I think its a pathetic thing to look for in a person. Why would you look for something so shallow in someone you're going to spend the rest of your life with? Would people not want the union of their lives with another person to be about more than their skin color?
Exactly.....you can think its pathetic.....and you can opt to not marry a person who is looking for skin color...but the other person has a choice too.......
some people here said that Pakistani origin people abroad should marry only those brought up in the west......some people give preference to education n stuff.....some have other choices.......
but point is.......its their choice....they are entitled to it......you don't like it.....don't do it....
Exactly.....you can think its pathetic.....and you can opt to not marry a person who is looking for skin color...but the other person has a choice too.......
some people here said that Pakistani origin people abroad should marry only those brought up in the west......some people give preference to education n stuff.....some have other choices.......
but point is.......its their choice....they are entitled to it......you don't like it.....don't do it....
i don't agree with it. it's effecting our society our thinking. it's corrupting our brain, and increasing depression in our society. giving preference in education, salary, or brought up in west, east, north, south etc, is different because there is some aspects of it that you can control, but ur skin color is something u have no control over. we need to condemn that darn thinking so the newer generation, wouldn't be so racist against their own race.
It shows an inferiority complex desies have...they want fair skin because they're still stuck with that mentality that dark is equal to ugly. Gora rang...the kind white people have will be admired and praised...its so sick. They have no idea what their even doing. The reason they find fair skin attractive is because this mentality was driven into their minds by the Brits and never left. They hate themselves.
Its creeping into our children and teaching them the wrong values. I do NOT want my nieces growing up thinking fair skin is more beautiful than dark. Oprah did a piece on this too. She asked a group of children who they thought was more beautiful...a dark skinned girl, an olive skinned girl or a fair skinned girl. ALL of them chose the fair one...even the darker kids chose the fair one.
You're telling me these are correct values to instill in our kids? If you have a dark skinned child, you will love them less? You will wish they were fairer? If the answer is yes, that IS pathetic.
Beauty comes in all shapes, sizes and colors. Its our jihalat and jealousy with white people that has made gora rang to be amaaaaaaaaaaaazing. If white/fair skin was really that great, dont you think Allah swt would have given it too all of us? He gave us hands, ears, nose, senses, legs, etc. Why did he leave out fair skin for so many? Was he being unfair?
I see it in Pakistanis all the time; they are obsessed and have no idea how foolish they look.
i agree with you n yanzal..but we can't just expect people to be angels and overcome centuries of conditioning of that idea.....best that can be done is educate your own kids.......after all....why even mind what others are thinking.. isn't obsessing about others' views about skin color useless??
btw......would u marry (hypothetically) an african nigerian?
When those jahil ganwaar views start to affect my life...its not obsessing.
I do educate my niece...I dont even let her play with Barbies or those awful Bratz dolls that are out these days. It created the wrong image of beauty and shows her this is what she should want to look like.
As for marrying an African...if I loved him...that would be all I needed. If gora rang was important...do you think there is a shortage of it here...the land of the goray?
i agree with you n yanzal..but we can't just expect people to be angels and overcome centuries of conditioning of that idea.....best that can be done is educate your own kids.......after all....why even mind what others are thinking.. isn't obsessing about others' views about skin color useless??
btw......would u marry (hypothetically) an african nigerian?
this is exactly why i started a discussion here, that we need to education our self, and our children, that this is more to this world then just a gora rang.
and heck yeh i will marry an african if i love him. and if i he is a muslim.
Yar i still think you guys are missing the point here. Everyone has the right to want certain things in their life partner, yes some may be very shallow demands but so what each to their own. We can't really say this is rite or that is wrong cuz evrything in this bloody world has become subjective, unfortunately.
What would u say to someone rejecting a guy who is very fair, tall and handsome but yet someone may not find him attractive? Is that fair?
We all reserve the right to want certain things in our life partner but what is wrong is wrong no matter what the times are or how educated the people involved claim to be. Subjective is only subjective when people try to make excuses for wanting something wrong.
When someone demands jahez, its wrong isnt it? Because its a society evil and benefits no one. I think demanding fair skin is right in line with that.
Its a cultural thing. In pak or for desi people its all about being gori chitti and for white people its about being tan so enjoyy the color ;))Every society has defferent standards of beauty... but most people tend to be shallow :((.
EXAMPLE: im really "fair" and i did track last summer and got really TAN.i mean like BRONZED. my friends thought i looked hot and exotic.lol i got so many compliments. and my mom and aunts were TERRIFIED. they just told me how...unattractive i looked. so what some people think is pretty other might not. im sure your gorgous so who cares.
would you marry a kala dude? do you have a limit on how kala a guy you'd have for a husband? fingers crossed
this is the THIRD freakin time, someone has asked me that question on this same exact topic in this same exact forum on this same exact thread. and my answer was YES.
if i do fall in love with him yes i will.
waisay bhi i have noticed that in my life, when ever i got attracted toward someone was due to their personality not their faces.
i have gone pass so many people never looked back, but once i know their personalty, and if i like it, that same person who i have never even noticed before becomes attractive to me.
Great. Now this Thread is going to take a brand new turn. Seriously how long can u live with utterly gorgeous person if he/she isn’t interesting to hold conversation, make you laugh, comfort u on ur bad day, be there for u in times of need. Etc etc etc. Batti jali bhi ho or achi shakal kay peechay banda ya bandi boring/mean/rude/ungrateful/senseless ho tu kiya faida. Shakal tu phir sirf achaar dalnay ko bachay gi na
i like kalay guys …i never found a fair guy attractive but unfortunately my fiance is very fair and that was my first ever COMPROMISE after stepping into zra si practical life ..
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