Re: Wrong girl for brother
i dont hate the girl (cant dislike someone i dont know) and I ain't punjabi (i'm urdu speaking, just thought I'd make it clear)
XoXo... wud u seriously be more ok with your brother's behaviour had the girl been urdu speaking?
and lady pinks steals the show : a big round of applause :
gzzzzzzzz guys none of u guys should bring caste into this.
Re: Wrong girl for brother
i wasn't trying to bring race/ caste into this, the only reason i mentioned it is so that XoXo wouldn't accuse me of siding with the girl bcoz i may be punjabi!
all i wanted to demonstrate was that I am not against the "Punjabi" girl despite NOT being punjabi.
Re: Wrong girl for brother
i wasn't trying to bring race/ caste into this, the only reason i mentioned it is so that XoXo wouldn't accuse me of siding with the girl bcoz i may be punjabi!
all i wanted to demonstrate was that I am not against the "Punjabi" girl despite NOT being punjabi.
i know u were not being racist or n e thing pinku, i was generally saying to everyone who was making this a caste issue including XO as this is not the best thing to do, i know wat ppl say and i know this is the problem in a lot of urdu speaking households where they dont want n e one from another caste specially "punjabi" comin in to the family and its a known fact but wat she said in her previous post was not correct either and i guess it isnt morally correct either, so i would suggest refrain from doin dat.
Re: Wrong girl for brother
^ phew, I mean Allah ka shukr... being racist isn't just a bad characteristic, its a sin!
Re: Wrong girl for brother
dammit this is the cutest thing i have heard all day :k: keep this innocense girl, Allah tumhey hamesha rakhey Aameen.
Re: Wrong girl for brother
ok, if you say so 
but i cant see whats so cute about what i said 
or innocent? khair, ameen to those duas :k:
Re: Wrong girl for brother
don worry, :k:
Re: Wrong girl for brother
xoxo1: I understand that as a sister you are worried about him. I am sure many girls who have brothers (older or younger than them) would feel the same way. Do not set yourself up as a bad person. Your intensions in the end to protect your brother are correct, but there are ways to fix things than sabatoge. Don't do that...it is not like they are getting married tommorrow. Give yourself time, sit down with your brother and tell him your point of view and concerns about her and say in a manner that as a sister you are just worried rather examining her or the situation.
Re: Wrong girl for brother
Xoxo ........relax and 'njoy, Let the couple have the time of their life....for God's sake they are not teenagers who are oblivious of what they are doing. If your brother is sleeping around with women before marriage, I guess he is no more a muslim then why drag the punjabi/non-punjabi crap in here....and again me no Punjabi....me no muslim either !
Re: Wrong girl for brother
Xoxo ........relax and 'njoy, Let the couple have the time of their life....for God's sake they are not teenagers who are oblivious of what they are doing. If your brother is sleeping around with women before marriage, I guess he is no more a muslim then why drag the punjabi/non-punjabi crap in here....and again me no Punjabi....me no muslim either !
correction.....he is still a muslim even if he fornicates :)
Re: Wrong girl for brother
talk to your bro before making any rash decision its easy t o make mistakes in life..just remember no matter what happens he will ALWAYS be your little bro
Re: Wrong girl for brother
correction.....he is still a muslim even if he fornicates :)
So he would have to go thru 500 lashes like women do..
Re: Wrong girl for brother
Did she hold a gun to his head when they spent the night in a hotel room in Boston? Your brother is equally to blame. Doesn't sound so "shareef" as you make him out to be.
Re: Wrong girl for brother
Did she hold a gun to his head when they spent the night in a hotel room in Boston? Your brother is equally to blame. Doesn't sound so "shareef" as you make him out to be.
True... we are too quick to blame the girl and think guys can get away with whatever they want.
By the way if they both are genuinely interested in each other then get them married, instead of forcing them to take the wrong path.
They both are mature people and responsible for their acts, they are no kids. They know what they are doing. If it was just a one night stand thing then this is the life they have chosen for themselves and I guess there is nothing much you can do.
Oh and one thing when a guy is deeply involved with his girl or a girl, he doesn't like listening anything bad about her. He'd just think you are jealous of her. Confronting him in front of parents would make him walk away from all of you. You should talk to your parents but they would have to cool themselves down before they talk to him. Again as I said before if the guy is interested in the girl then get them married and if not then family needs to understand there is nothing really they can do. Your parents taught him what they thought was best for him but now they just have to accept that if he has chosen something else for him, there really isn’t anything they can do. They should just keep themselves out of his matters, at least at the end of the day they’d still have their son.
Re: Wrong girl for brother
I have the same sitation my brother is the only son and his girlfriend while she doesn't culb or smoke or sleep around is something like the girlfriend you described above
If she doesn't do all that stuff then how is she like the one described by the thread starter?
[quote]
i also sometimes wonder if i should tell my parents but then again come on he is 21..an adult..he knows what he is doing..but sometimes girls have the tendency of luring guys into their arms with sweet arms and what not..
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This thinking is wrong. Guys are equal players in the game.
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is it too late to change his mind?
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I don't believe in this changing his mind thing. That girl is in a relationship with your brother and she has every right to be with a man who loves her. Just for one moment think how you'd feel if you are in love with a guy and you find out that his sister is trying to change his mind or he has left you in the middle of no where because his family doesn't approve you.
At the end of the day it is not siblings or parents who are in that wedding bond but the two people who are married to each other. And if they don't have a problem with each other's life style and are happy with each other then no one else should have a problem either.
Re: Wrong girl for brother
Tricky situation - i despise these type of girls! Its sick and so sad that their parents do not have any control over them!
Xoxo - as you said yourself that in your family, caste is a major thing. Tell your brother that this relationship will not be accepted @ all. Also, if he is a religious person and has got common sense - try to scare him and tell him how much of a sin it is in what he is doing. Tell him how insulting it will be if this relationship progressed into a marriage for his own kids and family and it will be frowned upon - Allah na Karay!
Its sad - i suggest you sit him down and have a talk with him 1-1. If he is caring towards you and the family, he should listen! Just stay calm and put you rpoint across. IF he still doesnt listen and ignores you, tell your mum!
Hope it works out inshallah.
Sorry, but the bolded part is the worst advice I have come accross in this thread so far...
If they are physically involved with each other then get the two married. gossshhh......
Sorry again but that was one pathetic advice...
Re: Wrong girl for brother
hey i had the same problem as him but in the end it was my freinds who pulled me out of the situation meaning they where always on my case telling me that to leave it and not to push yourself around her all the time and waisting your money....but end of the day it was society that helped me out but i think personaly if his mates are not helping out then u will have to take the responsibility of talking to him and convincing him to give her up ....but remember he loves her very much and him giving her up is not going to happen there and then but it will take time.....myself i tried my best to marry my girl freind but like your family my parents disagreed bacause of the caste thing she is from Rajpuut and myself im Syed so i couldnt do anything..........but if you really believe its the best for him not to be with her then u will have to take the role of being more than a sister to him and talk to him....
all the best and good luck may Allah be with you at this difficult time.....ameen
When you guys know something is unacceptable for your parents and at the end of the day you will do what they are saying then why get all serious with a girl? Why do you guys even start that relationship and then take it beyond the mountains and above the sky?
Funny how a lot of people are blaming the girl alone....
He doesn't have to be horribly influenced by her. He chose to let that happen.
Yeah, exactly. This is what we call hypocrates. For brother, he is a stud and if he has a love then the girl is a slut... sick minds I say....
Re: Wrong girl for brother
I would tell my mom, for sure. This behavior isnt self-contained. It affects those around him, including you and your parents because people will talk, and not only that, but other people, like his friends can be influenced by his actions. If a muslim is doing something wrong, they are supposed to be told about it, end of.
You talking to your brother wont have that big of an effect. I used to talk to my brother about certain things but the effect it had was nothing like the effect of a chat with my parents.
Some people are saying hes an adult he can do what he wants. I totally disagree with that, because his actions are affecting more than just himself, and again, as a muslim you need to speak out when such things are going on. His mother raised him for 21 years and now people want to exlude her from what her son is doing? Absolutely not. I dont care if my son is 50, if he is going around making a bad name for himself and his family, I sure as heck am going to talk to him about it. In the end the decision is his to take my advice or not. We are somewhat responsible for how we raise our children. So dont be afraid of your brother getting upset at you. My brother has gotten upset at me for certain things as well but later he got over it, and vice versa.
Spending the night at a hotel with the opposite sex is just plain wrong. The fact that it has even gotten to that level is a red flag.
If he decides to rebel later, thats his thing, but he needs a long chat with your mom.
Re: Wrong girl for brother
So he would have to go thru 500 lashes like women do..
I dont know about the number of lashes and what not...but I do know that just because one commits a sin... doesnt mean they are not muslim as you had stated previously. Just thought I'd let you know in case you were misinformed.
back to the topic:
For those of you who are saying that you can't blame the girl for the brothers action....I agree ...however we all know that environment does play a role in how one acts. Would you want your kids to hang around friends that are doing things that you disapprove of (ie sinful acts)? why?
My point is that even though she didnt put a gun to his head....just being around her could cause him to do things out of character.
Re: Wrong girl for brother
So he would have to go thru 500 lashes like women do..
they Don't give 500 or 5000 or whatever number of lashes to woman too to convert her back to muslim......