Wrong girl for brother

Re: Wrong girl for brother

but why does he get the choice later? why not now? why not recognize that he is an adult and is making his own choices? what will telling his mom do other than make things even more difficult around the house? his sister is the one who is seriously concerned, so she needs to talk to him directly and let him know how she feels, so her own conscience is satisfied.

it could all blow over in a couple of weeks, for all she knows, and if it doesn't, then maybe its serious and they want to be together longterm. thats their right, whether people want to admit it or not.

Re: Wrong girl for brother

i do agree with this :k:

Re: Wrong girl for brother

Lusi, are you punjabi :pagli:

Re: Wrong girl for brother

^^ Lolz :D

Re: Wrong girl for brother

Thank you all for your advices and comments. My mom found out a day or two ago and she confronted me today asking about it. I told her whatever needed to be said and now she will take care of it. She is a strong and intelligent woman and I have no doubts that she knows exactly what needs to be done. This has relieved me to quite an extent as my brother is an obedient son and would consider my mom's feelings in this matter. As Munni said above, it is now at a point where my parents do need to get involved. You're right, regardless of what age he is at, he owes my parents an explanation for whatever he is doing. If he wants to do anything against their will, he can gladly dissociate himself from our family and do whatever he wills on his own. But as long as he is a part of this family, he will do what my parents tell him to. I cannot stand someone coming to my mom tomorrow and telling her that oh by the way, I heard your son is doing this or that with some girl.. I can't stand to think about the pain that will cause my mom to hear something of that kind from an outsider. It may be his life or business or whatever but it is also a fact that anything he does effects every single one of us in the family. He's related to us by blood, we will be hurt by his actions and would want him to be on the right path and not just walk away giving him the freedom to do anything that he pleases to.

Thanks for all the replies, I really appreciate how you guys have all contributed with your replies. Sorry if I hurt anyone's feelings in this thread which I know I definitely have. And Dushwari, a very big thank you to you for you know what :)

Re: Wrong girl for brother

xoxo, I'm glad things are working towards being resolved. Atleast things are out in the open now. Insha'Allah things will workout.

somegroovychick, I've read a lot about this topic in Islam, therefore interfering in such matters when it comes to fellow muslims. And I have concluded from my readings that its absolutely pertinent to do so. And that is why I take the stance that I do. He may legally be an adult but his actions are far from that of a responsible adult and a responsible muslim.

If I am doing something wrong, I absolutely want someone to tell me, especially my parents. At the end of the day, I will decide whether I will take their advice or not. But parents are for guidance, and thats what her brother needs right now.

Anyone is free to disagree with me, but I will most definately be checking on my kids no matter how old they get, they will be entitled to my opinion on matters that affect the entire family.

Re: Wrong girl for brother

:k:

Re: Wrong girl for brother

I totally agree... you need to tell you parents.. especially your mom. Think about it even if he rebels I'm sure somewhere along the line he will realize.. what he does now to his parents will not only hurt him in this duniyah but the akhirat as well. Let him understand that also. You should let him know.. listen... I've tried talking to you and explaining to you what your getting yourself into... since your not understanding im going to mom".

ANdddddd seriously.... if worst comes to worst and he's upset with and stops talking to you... its okay... b/c 1) he'll eventually get over it... and probably will even really appreciate it

2) your going to have your bro be upset with you.. not your MOM... pleaseee don't upset or hurt your parents by hiding soemthign so big and having their son doo so much behind their back

3) if yor intentions are good, Allah (swt) will reward you immensly in this duniyah and akhirat and will insha Allah bless you with rightous and pious kids of your own. Ameen

so go for it.

*he's 21 ... which means nothing..... *

He's a Muslim brother risking his life here and the in the afterlife. That's everything.

May Allah (Swt) make it easy for you and your family. Ameen

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ooopssssss.......... jsut saw this thread... wellll glad your rents know

good luck : )

Re: Wrong girl for brother

trust me lucy it may seem simple to you that we MEN are going to listen to parents decissions straight away ..but NO...personaly i faught to the bitter end to get this dream to come tru but it did not work out....not only because of my parents but also her parents whom without remose and love threatened her...so its not always the MEN.........

sorry if i sound rude ...but your reply did annoy me.....

Re: Wrong girl for brother

If there are posts that are offensive to someone than pm me, no need to open racial or stereotypical threads. we want to ensure maturity at life1. thanks

Re: Wrong girl for brother

I am sorry i didn't mean to annoy you but I have seen many cases where guys have done that and they didn't have issues from girl's parents but guy's family and that really pisses me off.

Anyway, all the best to you.

2 Likes

Re: Wrong girl for brother

no no need to be sorry its my fault for barking my apologies its just hard ...thats all i can say....but life leads the way and we all need to move on

thanks...

Re: Wrong girl for brother

massive, boss just wanted to say is that i agree wid ur POV and that u r right in that way as i was in exactly the same position as urself but to be honest u cannot disagree wid LUSI either as we have a lot of cases where the guy had enuf guts to have a relationship wid da gal and when it came to marriage he could not stand up to the family and as u know there are lotsa cases like these and thus ppl do generalise.

All i would say to conclude is that Guys if u r getting in to a relationship think about it hard and long dont just get into it and once u have made up ur mind then don give up for anything or anyone, cuz ppl say its life move on and a lotta other things but u knows its not that simple don play wid n e ones feelings.

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tru tru what lusi said was right its just at the time it kinda ticked me off......but shes not wrong personaly majority of the time it is the man's fault........especially when married then seeking divorce.....