Re: Would you live with your in-laws or separately?
i dont see why parents have to be either on their death beds, or severely handicapped to qualify for their son and dil to even think of keeping their parents with them. … kia maa baap ka dil nahi hai to live with their son and his wife and enjoy the happiness that they bring?
you cant know how something is gonna be if you dont give it a try. i live with my in laws and LOVE IT. pehlay se hi naak oochi rakthi, then maybe i would be singing a diff tune, but i went in wanting to live with them and thankfully, its been going great. yes there is tu tu mein mein, but who cares? at teh end of the day we love each other.
its really sad to see girls putting down a guys family without even knowing how its gonna be.. and whats worse is mothers of such girls are advocating it instead of putting some sense into their daughters minds. mothers of daughters play a huge part in how well such girls treat their in laws… lekin aaj kal ki ammaye bhi na.
Re: Would you live with your in-laws or separately?
Maham- I see where you are coming from but about the fact that you have given them so many chances, day after day you try to please them, and do as they wish but in the end it never makes them happy. I am speaking form own experience but when we go to Pak i don't mind looking after the house or cleaning, cooking etc cos that is what is expected of me i give MIL everything she wants and even at night if she is complaining of her aching feet i gently massage them for her but she is NEVER happy i have delat with a lot from her, verbal abuse, her throwing things at me when i disagree or voice my own opinions. My grandma and grandad, are in pak and I can't even go to see them becasue somehow on the day she always ends up ill or says she will miss her grandkids too much. I have given everything for the past 4 years so much that it has taken a toll on me but again i compromise probably cos i am weak lol but I want to able to live in harmony with her but sadly in my situation that is not the case.
Han tu yar, who said in your case you need to live with yr in-laws. Nobody is mad enought to tolerate abuse and disrespect at hands of anybody at all. Just always remember, you are the best judge here.
Re: Would you live with your in-laws or separately?
Anyhow, Islam also does not support living with parents unless they are in need and husband can't afford to give them a separate home.
Like i asked somebody earlier on this topic who said something similiar to you, i wl say to u the same..pls provide me where in Quran this is said. I had really like to read and ammend my views if there be a need for it.
BUT i can't imagine how and why would living with yr inlaws be not necessary. The guy is responsible to look after his parents also and i doubt one can do that quite well living far or even in a diff town. It's not just the same. The grandparents wont get to be with their grandkids which is also very important. And is this what the parents do all the hardwork for? bringing the kid up to in end be left on their own. I really think not. Islam is a very logical religion.
Re: Would you live with your in-laws or separately?
Again, Very well said.
According to many studies done in the recent past, most divorces are result of too much interference of the girl’s mother and her wrong guidance. Too bad, when the divorce is done then the same daughter who parents want to see at their home everyday becomes a burden and cause of shame.
Re: Would you live with your in-laws or separately?
A Muslim woman has the right to her own home. If i had a choice id live separately, i really think it becomes a too close for comfort deal, so id go for a separate portion if not a separate house depending on the prospective hubbys situation ofcourse.
Re: Would you live with your in-laws or separately?
A Muslim woman has the right to her own home. If i had a choice id live separately, i really think it becomes a too close for comfort deal, so id go for a separate portion if not a separate house depending on the prospective hubbys situation ofcourse.
And by her own home u mean the one where she is not willing to let her inlaws enter bt have her own family there 24/7?! Well guess what, I DONT THINK SO dear that this is how Islam functions. Tought luck maybe but this is far from reality.
Re: Would you live with your in-laws or separately?
**And by her own home u mean the one where she is not willing to let her inlaws enter bt have her own family there 24/7?! **Well guess what, I DONT THINK SO dear that this is how Islam functions. Tought luck maybe but this is far from reality.
Thats totally your interpretation. If thats what ur doing, it says a lot about you :) Its a shame muslim women do not know their rights though, its up to them if they wish to exercise it.
Re: Would you live with your in-laws or separately?
Again, Very well said.
According to many studies done in the recent past, most divorces are result of too much interference of the girl's mother and her wrong guidance. Too bad, when the divorce is done then the same daughter who parents want to see at their home everyday becomes a burden and cause of shame.
Re: Would you live with your in-laws or separately?
Thats totally your interpretation. If thats what ur doing, it says a lot about you :) Its a shame muslim women do not know their rights though, its up to them if they wish to exercise it.
Re: Would you live with your in-laws or separately?
Where parents are self-sufficient, independent, and where they do no depend on the guy and where it would make sense for the couple to live alone for the first few years atleast so they could get more comfortable with each other. Plus the girl who marries is **LEAVING HER HOME **and her **LIFE behind **so for her sake it would be easier if she only had the hubby to contend with, easier in that it would be easier for her to adapt.
As for Islam I think Islam encourages what I just said.
Re: Would you live with your in-laws or separately?
And by her own home u mean the one where she is not willing to let her inlaws enter bt have her own family there 24/7?! Well guess what, I DONT THINK SO dear that this is how Islam functions. Tought luck maybe but this is far from reality.
Erm. Calm down. I really don't think she meant that.
Since when does living seperately from your in laws mean you'll refuse to let them enter your house?
Re: Would you live with your in-laws or separately?
Again, Very well said.
According to many studies done in the recent past, most divorces are result of too much interference of the girl's mother and her wrong guidance. Too bad, when the divorce is done then the same daughter who parents want to see at their home everyday becomes a burden and cause of shame.
That's right. She calls her daughter daily and interferes in her married life. Even giving instructions what to cook and what not to cook..... The girl doesn't listen to husband creating tense atmosphere ending in divorce. In Pakistan, 95% of the times.....
Re: Would you live with your in-laws or separately?
Where parents are self-sufficient, independent, and where they do no depend on the guy and where it would make sense for the couple to live alone for the first few years atleast so they could get more comfortable with each other. Plus the girl who marries is **LEAVING HER HOME **and her **LIFE behind **so for her sake it would be easier if she only had the hubby to contend with, easier in that it would be easier for her to adapt.
As for Islam I think Islam encourages what I just said.
Her life? Lolz. Reallllllllllllly.
Why do we question so much why the girl has to move to a new home after marriage and its ok but why nt the same when a guy has to do it? Why dont we question why a girl gets other perks and guys dont? Why dont u question why the husband is responsible to bring food to home and not the wife?
Edit: And this is coming from somebody who totally dreads the thought of herself moving to a new place, new family after marriage cuz i know it takes alot of hardwork BUT guess what....Life is tough cookie and you can't always play it easy and go on.
Re: Would you live with your in-laws or separately?
^ Why is it such an issue for you if a girl prefers to live seperately from her in laws? Perhaps her in laws want her to live seperate from them as well? Maybe her husband wants to live alone with his wife?
At the end of the day...it's a personal choice and there's no right or wrong answer. Live with it.
And I know plenty of women who live seperately and they most certainly don't refuse their in-laws access to their homes. Don't make it sound like all women do this.
Re: Would you live with your in-laws or separately?
^ Why is it such an issue for you if a girl prefers to live seperately from her in laws? Perhaps her in laws want her to live seperate from them as well? Maybe her husband wants to live alone with his wife?
At the end of the day...it's a personal choice and there's no right or wrong answer. Live with it.
And I know plenty of women who live seperately and they most certainly don't refuse their in-laws access to their homes. Don't make it sound like all women do this.
Ok not all but most do. I am not saying they wl actually refuse the inlaws to enter their home bt their interaction becomes very less.
Re: Would you live with your in-laws or separately?
Ok not all but most do. I am not saying they wl actually refuse the inlaws to enter their home bt their interaction becomes very less.
Especially when kids are born the girl tries best to avoid husbands parents visiting them.....I mean today's so called modern educated women..... seen many cases myself
