A question for all the girls out there.. there seems to be so many threads on MIL/SIL issues. If you had the option would you live separately or still with your in-laws?
Re: Would you live with your in-laws or separately?
I live seperately , always have done and i wouldn't have it an other way. My in laws are realy nice I love them dearly but i could not live wth them and my husband knows and respects that.
Re: Would you live with your in-laws or separately?
I dont mind either way :)
Re: Would you live with your in-laws or separately?
If my in- laws are nice I will have no problems whatsoever living with them.
Having said that though I suppose my first preference would be to live separately...only because it imposes less restrictions/pressure on the marriage especially in the initial stages when the couple are just learning to live with one another.
However, a son owes his parents a responsibility to look after them and if I am married into a family where my hubby is the oldest/ only son I would most certainly encourage him to have his parents live with us.
Re: Would you live with your in-laws or separately?
Separate.. I wouldn't even consider living with inlaws in their home (but if they're elderly/lonely ie. 65+ they could live in ours if they wanted). Wouldn't even live in inlaws house for a month, doesn't matter how nice they are.. I'd need my own privacy, be able to come and go as I like, not get dirty looks for wearing the wrong clothes etc.
It's become really uncommon amongst the ppl we know to have the DIL living with them. My brother is living in our house with his new wife atm (theirs is being refurbished) and a few ppl have commented on why is he here lol..
Re: Would you live with your in-laws or separately?
if you do a quick search, you will find a thread that discusses just this... and many more such threads... its been done to death with alongwith the "housewife vs career woman" topic
Re: Would you live with your in-laws or separately?
I wonder if there is any way to convince hubby to move away from living with his parents in their house. Apart from the fact that it would be great and stress free for me to be independent, I can't seem to figure out any other strong argument in my case. At times I just feel unhappy and under obligation with the idea of living under "their" roof :(
Re: Would you live with your in-laws or separately?
Separately unless the inlaws move in when they're elderly and respect that it is my house and I organize as I see fit. I think there is a huge difference between a young DIL moving in to her MILs house and an elderly MIL moving in to her DILs house.
Unless a DIL is okay with losing herself and doing everything someone elses way, the husband should ensure that he and his wife live separately, if it can be afforded.
Re: Would you live with your in-laws or separately?
I wonder if there is any way to convince hubby to move away from living with his parents in their house. Apart from the fact that it would be great and stress free for me to be independent, I can't seem to figure out any other strong argument in my case. At times I just feel unhappy and under obligation with the idea of living under "their" roof :(
Happiness is reason enough. If he can afford it, then it should happen. And if he can't afford it, he shouldn't have gotten married in the first place.
Re: Would you live with your in-laws or separately?
A question for all the girls out there.. there seems to be so many threads on MIL/SIL issues. If you had the option would you live separately or still with your in-laws?
I would prefer to live with them. I am and belong to family oriented people so it would be odd to live otherwise unless ofcourse they are scheming to burn me or kill me.
I dont see why i would other want to take away their son from them and their dialy living. Before people jump at me and say that doesnt the women leave her parents home after marriage, well to that all i can say is ask Allah why he made this system like this. Ask him why he gave the priviledge to a women to become a mother and have such a high status and not to the men. Some things are meant to be the way they are and i dont see any reason confusing them up by making fake egos and not only ruining your peace but others too.
Re: Would you live with your in-laws or separately?
Happiness is reason enough. If he can afford it, then it should happen. And if he can't afford it, he shouldn't have gotten married in the first place.
If i may butt in and ask....what about the guy's happiness or his family's happiness? Does that count or not? What if this move makes them unhappy especially since there is no valid reason for this demand.
Re: Would you live with your in-laws or separately?
Islamically, does is the correct method to live with the husbands family or is this a Pakistani cultural practice? I always thought it was cultural.
If you are happy living with your inlaws then why not?
I just hear more bad stories than positive ones… 
I too am family oriented but if the family I am marrying in to makes my life miserable then they will have to be kept at a distance. I wouldn’t want to be an unhappy mother to my children and I wouldn’t want my children to see my allowing others to disrespect me. I have heard stories of Pakistani DILs becoming the equivalent to maid servants.
Check out this link, I read it yesterday and it is very appropriate:
http://seekersguidance.org/ans-blog/2009/10/07/a-wifes-right-to-housing-seperate-from-her-in-laws/ When I’m questioning my fiance’s cultural practices which I cannot differentiate between being religion or culture, I tend to turn to Islamic sources for advice. I found the above.
Re: Would you live with your in-laws or separately?
I live independently but I wish I lived with MIL or MIL lived with us. She's not an ideal lady, but I think if we lived together, the benefits and support would've been outweighed any other outcome. Plus my husband would've been less stressed out about taking care of us and her separately.
I fail to understand why do most of the girls now have an attitude like in-laws,particularly the MIL and FIL, are only of their use to an extent that they give birth to their husbands,bring them up,get them educated enough for what they are, get them married and then get lost?!? DILs just need an established guy who should have no one in this world..aasmaan se tau nai utarta koi. Aagay peechay koi tau hota hai...like my mom says keh ajkal ki larkiyan chahti hain keh buss larka mil jaye aur shadi kay baad Apnay parents aur siblings ko maar day ya kaheen chhor aaye.. And sadly i feel she's right.
Re: Would you live with your in-laws or separately?
I would prefer to live with them. I am and belong to family oriented people so it would be odd to live otherwise unless ofcourse they are scheming to burn me or kill me.
I dont see why i would other want to take away their son from them and their dialy living. Before people jump at me and say that doesnt the women leave her parents home after marriage, well to that all i can say is ask Allah why he made this system like this. Ask him why he gave the priviledge to a women to become a mother and have such a high status and not to the men. Some things are meant to be the way they are and i dont see any reason confusing them up by making fake egos and not only ruining your peace but others too.
Allah did do that but he didn't encourage the joint family setup. Infact it's discouraged to live with inlaws in Islam unless there is a real need.
Re: Would you live with your in-laws or separately?
I live independently and i wouldn't have it any other way. I can be independent in my own home, wake up when i wish do as i wish without getting looks of dissaproval. If my MIL was different and accepting of the way i run things then i would have no problem with spending time with her but she is unfortunately just one of those women who just have to get her own way all the time. She is in pakistan and every year me, the hubby and kids go to visit for Eid and stay a few months. During that time she makes demands i wouldn't mind if they were reasonable but they are not, she expects me to not use the same bathroom as my hubby we have a private on connected to our bedroom or put my clothes on the chairs as it is untidy. If i eat something i get the glares like i am doing something wrong plus the whole time we are there she makes it clear on more than one occasion that my DH built this home for her and his sisters, so naturally i feel like an outsider living there and try to compromise as best as i can without going crazy lol . We are going to pak next week lol i am already dreading it
Re: Would you live with your in-laws or separately?
It’s** totally cultural**, the whole idea of the DIL moving into her inlaws home came from Hinduism and is a remnant of** that **culture that a lot of Pakistanis and Bangladeshis haven’t been able to shake off, despite it not being recommended for obvious reasons..
Re: Would you live with your in-laws or separately?
I live independently and i wouldn't have it any other way. I can be independent in my own home, wake up when i wish do as i wish without getting looks of dissaproval. If my MIL was different and accepting of the way i run things then i would have no problem with spending time with her but she is unfortunately just one of those women who just have to get her own way all the time. She is in pakistan and every year me, the hubby and kids go to visit for Eid and stay a few months. During that time she makes demands i wouldn't mind if they were reasonable but they are not,** she expects me to not use the same bathroom as my hubby we have a private on connected to our bedroom** or put my clothes on the chairs as it is untidy. If i eat something i get the glares like i am doing something wrong plus the whole time we are there she makes it clear on more than one occasion that my DH built this home for her and his sisters, so naturally i feel like an outsider living there and try to compromise as best as i can without going crazy lol . We are going to pak next week lol i am already dreading it
Why can't you share the bathroom?!
Re: Would you live with your in-laws or separately?
I think i clearly stated in my earlier post that staying with them is my option UNLESS they want to kill me or harm me. So i am not endorsing staying with yr in-laws in every damn situation BUT pls all these women out there who think they shud move out cuz they dnt get to rule the house then i dont think thats worth the move.
Re: Would you live with your in-laws or separately?
It's** totally cultural*, the whole idea of the DIL moving into her inlaws home came from Hinduism and is a remnant of* that **culture that a lot of Pakistanis and Bangladeshis haven't been able to shake off, despite it not being recommended for obvious reasons..
It makes perfect sense to me. There can only be "one cook in the kitchen" so to speak so there cannot be two women both leading a household, not without fights at least.
Re: Would you live with your in-laws or separately?
Allah did do that but he didn't encourage the joint family setup. Infact it's discouraged to live with inlaws in Islam unless there is a real need.
Great. Can you pls provide me where and how family system was discouraged? And i wl be willing to edit my comments. Pls enlighten me!