Re: Would you let your kids date?
Burseesah is not the only pious man in this world...
I have not seen any disadvantages Bulbuli, please tell me some.
Re: Would you let your kids date?
Ok... so in that story u dont see any disadvantages coming about?
Maybe u dont understand why i posted the story in the first place.... It was to show how Satan can manipulate the best of men and the best of intentions (because we were talking of intention behind dating right?)
Re: Would you let your kids date?
Satan can do that not only when you are dating, which is the point of the story. If you have 'free will' you will think in a positive way. Otherwise, Satan wins all the time and we here on earth are bunch of dumbassess who hear stories, get scared and go in our little hole that we call a "pious world".
Re: Would you let your kids date?
I agree with chacha khan, question is not would you let your kids date! Most of us will say no, even they themselves met the partners on a date(s) or some have or will get it through arranged.
Some kids will date(they might not tell you, and if you are too lucky they will not. as Man mentioned, Date is not a sex as everybody sees it here.
Everyone should try their best to bring up kids with strong character so they can think right and take good decisions.
and at the same time, bringing up kids in very different world where dating and pre marital sex is common. only character building can toil one kid to be on right path. and i also beleive its too much to ask from a person who is brought up in western world and apart from own home where they only sleep for few hours, they spent time mostly out of house. If kids will date or ask for own choice, that will not be his/her fault at all.
one should give them a good environment, may be an islamic country then do expect them strictly to have only arranged marriages.
raising a kid in different al together environment and then expecting him/her not to get infulenced by it , i think is too much from poor souls.
That forced strictness making our kids with dual personalities. see most of them with parents, and without parents, you all see the difference.
however family efforts do overcome in exceptional cases.
oh, and I personally will not prefer them to date around(but cant force them- a strong character will be enough for them even they date or not.), I will however allow them to choose if they are interested and this will be communicated well and built in minds so they will not afraid to express.
Re: Would you let your kids date?
Oh bhai, Allah has given us intelligence to distinguish b/w whats wrong and whats right… Satan doesnt always win, He wins with those with weak self-control, ure right in that… so yeah, with self control you can stop any physical stuff…point agreed upon 
Ok, so what of the forbiddance of conversing with na mehrams. Deny it all u want, but it is a part of Zina, if just the most basic
Re: Would you let your kids date?
^^^ you are conversating with na mehrams right now!! these mediums should also be included in your interpretation.
Re: Would you let your kids date?
You're right Shak I am.... but i mentioned in one of my earlier posts... its a (sweet) conversation that should be worrying .....
In urdu, mulaaim guftugoo u might find this in many a hadith :)
We do talk to our male collegues, professors when needs be right?
Re: Would you let your kids date?
Re: Would you let your kids date?
dus islam allow it on forums???
Re: Would you let your kids date?
Why everybody is mixing date with sex, these are two different things. I agree one can lead to another but so does many other things. Like working with males, chatting on the net. As the people stay away from sex while they are studying/working/talking togather why can't they control themselves at dates. I mean the same rule should apply for every form of communication. The only thing which stops you from sinning is your own self.
Re: Would you let your kids date?
Wow..eye prositution?? Never heard of that... so what exactly would you call people who date??? I'm sorry but have you no education at all? I cannot stand people who generalize and cant think outside the box. Not everyone goes "all the way" on dates, and im not talking about dating around.. dating one guy that buds into a relationship with a prospect of marriage... in this day and age, at least half if not more desis, Muslims, whatever u wanna call em DO date, turning a blind eye to it doesnt mean that it doesn't exist. If you teach your kids about Islam then you should trust that they will not commit zinnah on these dates. My father dated my mother, married her, and unfortunately she left us, but he has taught us not to make the same mistake and do zinnah like he did, but he hasnt banned us from dating-- he is very open and honest with my sisters and brothers also and he can only advise us, the rest is up to us what we do. I find that those that are forbidden have the rebellious streak more than those of us that are given more privileges. Out of the 6 children my father raised, only one of us has dated... meanwhile i know a very religious family who had ALL of their daughters either run away or get badnaam for the simple fact that they have been caged in for so long, once they reached HS they went wild!
against my parents value againts my values against my religion even a guy looking at you is causing eye prostitution and dating is very worse. being a stout muslim i wont let my kids date either if its a boy or a girl and my mother says that :larkiyon ki izzat bohat nazak hoti hai: and i will keep this in mind forever and ever inshallah and wont let my kids do the mistakes i did or wont let them stray from the path of rightousness A_M_E_E_N!!
Re: Would you let your kids date?
Shak Kills
raising a kid in different al together environment and then expecting him/her not to get infulenced by it , i think is too much from poor souls.
Well Said :)
Re: Would you let your kids date?
pmsl.. so true
Re: Would you let your kids date?
then you all shouldn't even allow ur kids to study in co-ed skools b/c how would u know that how they would be reactin during their break time.. don't u think they will have chance to have a 'sweet' talk?
Basic point should be ..you should be able to raise ur kids in a manner that no matter what.. they would know better for themselves that y can't they date .. wats the reason behind.. b/c yea u might not let them date thinkin so they can't have that 'sweet' talk one on one but u r forgettin what if they study in a same skool/class or work together... will u be able to stop em there? No! Because they might be thinkin that 'Going Out' as a date date is haraam or wrong but would they know what their parents are afraid of is the 'sweet talk'? I don't think they would know unless it has been pointed out :-)
My answer to this thread: I will see when time comes . . .
Re: Would you let your kids date?
No way! No chance, under my dead body....however i will allow them to choose a suitable partner for marriage when they are ready to make the commitment. Dating is not allowed in Islam and encourages people to commit further sin.
Re: Would you let your kids date?
lol again ... how would You know they arent datin? then how can u stop?
btw thread starter should have specifically specified or xplained what kind a 'DATIN' he/she is talking about, to avoid the confusion.
Re: Would you let your kids date?
Every child has a different personality and theway they are brought up makes them the adult they are..and leads them to choose how they wish to date/not date .. marry or not marry..
The most important thing for all parents to do is give a child religous education.. not cultural but religous.. Guys/girls don't date because it is againts our pakistani culture.. Girls/Guys don't date because it is against Islam.. We should not expect to enforce our opinions on our kids.. my parents did it to me and in a sense it stopped me from doing some very silly things but in other things more cultural than religous I rebelled.. If you enforce an act/opinion then there needs to be sound explanation so there is no confusion in the poor childs mind..
My parents were strict with me.. no dating .. which has led to white lies even when just speaking to platonic friends..
The thing is if you don't want to hear soemthing you won't hear it.. which i believe is the case with Bulbulz and MWTP.. It's like defence of guilt..
At the end of the day whatever is in the Quran is correct if it says don't date then we shouldn't date..... our words of defence against this are all just lies and excuses to do what we WANT to do....
I just pray my kids follow their deen and be better muslims than me and my parents and may ALLAH ji forgive all of us for our sins.. small or large..
Re: Would you let your kids date?
basically kids should be thought what kind a relationship they can have with their opposite sex according to age then their wouldn't be any confusion of whether to date or not to date. They would knwo better then :-)
Re: Would you let your kids date?
I will encourage my children to be open and honest with me from day one - so that we have a good understanding - this would help me bring my children up in the right path and therefore encourage children to make sensible decisions for their future.
Re: Would you let your kids date?
one thing thats common in 'us' desis that we tend to tell our kids dont do this or that but then don't give reasonin behind it too. Keep in mind our comin generation will be a lot smarter than us since they will be expose to more stuff than we were or our parents were at their age.
If we tell em something not to do they won't buy it unless we prove or set an example or drill em in their head. Unless like us when parents told us NO we said ok its a No.