‘these things just happen’ …? hmmm i dont buy that yaar. sounds like an indian movie sadzzz and life is not an indian movie yaar 
life is more like pakistani khabarnama 
With right person being the operative words here, I would definitely fight to the end. If my parents still don’t come around (I seriously doubt it), I’d declare myself a confirmed bachelor and just wait till they take pity on me and eventually give in. Yeah, I’ve got it all figured out 
But if indeed I manage to let things get out of control and it comes down to choosing between them and the person, I’d go with the person. If my parents can even entertain the thought of disowning me for pursuing something so close to my heart, that would mean they have a pretty messed up sense of priorities. If they can’t rely on my judgement (acknowledging that all their efforts in raising me to be an ‘individual’ went to waste), it’s only fair for me to return the favor, as much as it’s going to break my heart.
A line needs to be drawn between respecting your parents’ opinion and completely being controlled by their beliefs. You are your own person. Who you marry is a decision that you’re going to have to live with for the rest of your life. So I’d make sure I marry someone I want to be with, not someone who my parents want me to be with.
^ thats very impressive 2Good :k:
irem, things that happen in our life arent always in our control 
its not about being an indian movie, but not all feelings can be helped.
Sure there is self control to some extent, theres also self denial. We dont always plan on liking an individual, but it can happen
hey thats a very intelligent point sadzz abt self control and self denial…
i think self denial is good
self control is the guiding principle
feelings cant be helped but actions can be innit? one should have complete control on their actions. religion also teaches us that innit?
like for example. if its fajar time. u know its gona be over in 20 minutes. and u hear the azaan. u feel lazy n dont wana pray. whats the RIGHT thing to do? give in to ur feelings of laziness and not pray or deny the call of ur body to sleep and get up and pray? i dono yaar i feel one has to be tough with themselves, and do the RIGHT thing
not that i always succeed in having self control, but still i think thats whats important
praying and liking someone are two very different things irem..
praying is something we have to do.. its like a muslims duty.
and liknig someone involves feelings.. they are two very very different scenarios
and yes.. we should definately have control over our actions, feelings maybe not
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by irem: *
why would u wana get attached/commit to someone without making sure ur parents would approve?
shudnt u be thinking abt all this BEFORE falling head over heels?
i dont believe in just getting flown away by emotion like a wild river. one has to have SELF CONTROL
[/QUOTE]
Self Control ...as in not being able to talk to a guy without saying the word 'bro' every 12 seconds? Sounds like a chastity belt to me.
'Control' has a totally different meaning from what you think.
On the topic: A lot of Parents are idiots, do what you like. I wouldnt want to force my opinion on my kids. My opinion wouldnt even be a consideration.
^ the smartest thing ive ever heard u say.. go who–me! :k:
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by who---me: *
Self Control ...as in not being able to talk to a guy without saying the word 'bro' every 12 seconds? Sounds like a chastity belt to me.
'Control' has a totally different meaning from what you think.
On the topic: A lot of Parents are idiots, do what you like. I wouldnt want to force my opinion on my kids. My opinion wouldnt even be a consideration.
[/QUOTE]
control: we may have our own definitons. sure :-) i think self control means when u know u r doing something bad, to stop urself from it. thats all.
irem.. liking someone isnt a bad thing.. :)
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by sadzzz: *
irem.. liking someone isnt a bad thing.. :)
[/QUOTE]
definitely its not yaar :) my own parents had a psand ki shadi :)
I keep hearing the right person this the right person that. But how can you be certain. Divorce rates are up in almost every society including Pakistani. In most societies you dont have arranged marriages and people choose the "right person" and then get a divorce. Rather large waste of time and money for choosing the right person.
In europe people being cheap dont get married anymore they live together and then get a divorce. Heck French law has a special provision for this in their marriage laws or code.
The romanitized version of a real life hollywood or bollywood movie is a figament of almost everybodies imagination. Remember it is not real.
Statistics and reality shows this concept of the "right person" is wrong. Those who believe they will find one live in neverneverland.
A question to those who say they have found the "right person" how can you be sure or certain that there wasnt a "better right person" around the bend of the road?
^ Thanks for bursting the bubble!
No worries, you star-eyed does need a reality check every now and then.
OMG!!! Who are you and what have you done to CM????? I want old CM back, not new logical CM....
One incident and you color me a passionate fool. True...but that doesnt mean logic can not coincide with passion.
Exactly :k: Most parents tend to be selfish and choose who they like w/o considering the feelings of their children. We owe them our respect, not our lives.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by CM: *
I keep hearing the right person this the right person that. But how can you be certain.
[/QUOTE]
There is definitely a right person however it is relative to time and yourself.
People change as they grow. It would be unreasonable of you if you expect humans to remain the same as time progresses. Are you the same kid you were five years ago? Maybe not!. The girl whom you met in high-school could be the right girl for you at that particular time…That might not be true now. You can’t measure humans in a static frame of reference.
It takes guts to call someone ‘right’, believe in your decisions and be certain about them at the same time.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Fayz: *
There is definitely a right person however it is relative to time and yourself.
People change as they grow. It would be unreasonable of you if you expect humans to remain the same as time progresses. Are you the same kid you were five years ago? Maybe not!. The girl whom you met in high-school could be the right girl for you at that particular time…That might not be true now. You can’t measure humans in a static frame of reference.
It takes guts to call someone ‘right’, believe in your decisions and be certain about them at the same time.
[/QUOTE]
So the right person changes. Thus the person you marry could not be the right person 2 years down the road. So if they keep changing there concept of the "right person" is a myth as there is no right person. Rather different people you click with correct?
Correct, its not as black and white as we would like to believe. Ever heard of the word risk…Why do people take risks ..call something ‘right’..put their money on things that could potentially go wrong…?
It’s the decisions that you think are correct/right (or whatever other synonym u prefer) at that very moment. Your character is much more respectable if you stand by your decisions no matter how wrong or right they may look twenty years down the road.