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*Originally posted by Muslim_Queen: *
But Kamran lets say you've known them for 5 or 6 years? Sure you havent lived with them- but you would in the future haina?
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If you know that person from last 5 6 years then obv your parents know that person too, and it last for that long because that person was worth it?? I don't see then why anyone would be in such situation that have to choose between the parents and the person you and your family know for that long??
sometimes, the time length means nothing to the parents.
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*Originally posted by Kamran-Khan: *
If you know that person from last 5 6 years then obv your parents know that person too, and it last for that long because that person was worth it?? I don't see then why anyone would be in such situation that have to choose between the parents and the person you and your family know for that long??
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Well parents might have been ok that you're friends...but then when the topic of marriage came up...then they disagreed.
Well yeah I understand you would also choose parents- so would I.Par when can you go against parents?And if parents have a ridiculous reason to disapprove- then why not go against them?
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*Originally posted by Muslim_Queen: *
Well parents might have been ok that you're friends...but then when the topic of marriage came up...then they disagreed.
Well yeah I understand you would also choose parents- so would I.Par when can you go against parents?And if parents have a ridiculous reason to disapprove- then why not go against them?
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then it all comes to the point if you are strong enough to live with breaking all ties or not (with or without that persone). And also upon the fact that our hypocrate society acts different for a male and female! If a male is leaving his parents then its not such a big deal but its a taboo for a fermale. EVen other person's family will haunt you!
once married we don't live a person we live within a society, where ppl judge you all the time.
Well completly depends what are the reasons parents dont like mr right/ ms right of your choice.
Just by selecting your life partner yourself dosent really mean that you are disrespecting your parents.
Well then are parents are not same either some are more understanding than others :)
oh and as i always say , its your life and if you can't take the most important decision by your self then .....
just to add one thing, if you know that person that well then you shouldn't be having any problem convincing your parents. those issues can be solved and talked about. Don't think any reasonable parent will go against the will and hapiness of their own blood.
^ you'd be suprised
^ or may be I am talking before time!
^ maybe... things and actions change when ur actually experiencing it urself
The person.
Parents aren't always right. Most parents oppose their kid's choice just for the sake of their ego or coz they are scared of the society. I am mature enough to know what is good or bad for me. If they seem to have a problem with me making my own choices then I too have a problem with them controling my life. I can't let go of a good life to feed their ego.
And people, don't even say parents do everything keeping the good of their children in mind. When it comes to issues like gettng the kid married, most parents give undue importance to stuff like social background, family etc.
Re: Would you choose him or your parents?
If someone is the ‘right’ person then why wouldn’t you marry him/her. I don’t understand what you people are yapping about.
I normally don’t commit to things/people easily but when I do I think I am a man enough to stand by my decisions. How could you respect someone who backs off on you due to external pressures.
hmmm,,, in a case parents don't come around, and when their reasons are not based on race, nationality, color, money, ethnicity etc... """meaning that the reason they object is worthy to be considered,,,, and then, you should not be even thinking about marrying him or her..."""
Only a case when a person is decent, Allah-fearing, respectful,, on the right path in Islam, etc then,,, your parents shouldn't be making problems.... I learned this now.
Parents have a right to say something, but islamically, I will go with Ithikahara. That's the whole point of making Ithikahara anyway,,, to ask for the best btw two lawful matters.
Asking Allah for an ultimate guidance, not my parents... that will be the best.
May Allah guide us all.
ali
^ why don't u ask this question to urself first before turning to God...Try to be a man for a change.
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*Originally posted by M: *
Parents wins everytime, what gurantee do you have that the person will be perfect with you.
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It's not really a matter of who "wins"... I think.. It's not a fight.
Second of all,,, who told you that parents can gurantee that the person will be perfect for you?? As I wrote somewhere else before, I know tons of guys/girls who are leading sad,, I can even say miserable marriages because they married the one their parents chose...
I am not trying to create any hostile environment here,,, pls understand, but what you wrote might sound ideal, but not reality.
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*Originally posted by Fayz: *
^ why don't u ask this question to urself first before turning to God...Try to be a man for a change.
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It's not nice, Fays.
Don't make "turning to God" sound like a lesser or inferior option... I think what he wrote was really true...
Plus, reading from other thread he posted, I think he asked this question for himself already enough. He said, He will ask God for an ultimate guidance, what is wrong with that?
^ Istekhara is a good form of defense mechanism...it works wonders if one is even remotely bayghairat...Finds u a way out
I never said parents gurantee you a perfect marriage. Where did I say that?
The dicussion was about what would you do if u had to choose between a person you love and your parents. 
I said what guarantee do you have that the person you chose over your parents will be perfet with you. What happens if you leave your parents for that perfect person but then it doesnt work out, where does that leave you.
Personally I would never ask a girl to choose me over her parents and vice versa.
And love marriage is no gurantee either, Ive seen people have just as many problems with them. Love marriages are common in the west, but do people here lead happily married lives? even amongst pakistanis.
Go back and read my post properly, Love or Arrange, you should have your parents blessings.
And whether you have an arranged or love marriage theres no guarantee of success you still have to work hard at it.
Yeah I can see why my ideas sound ideal, I mean what do i know about reality.
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*Originally posted by Lusi: *
But this cannot garuntee that your kids would do the same...
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Of course. But it would still be a gross and despicable act of hypocracy by me if I were to choose some girl against my parents' wishes, and then actually expect my children to never do the same.
why would u wana get attached/commit to someone without making sure ur parents would approve?
shudnt u be thinking abt all this BEFORE falling head over heels?
i dont believe in just getting flown away by emotion like a wild river. one has to have SELF CONTROL
^ sometimes these things just happen :) i mean u may befreind someone without knowing how ur feelings will change/grow in the future.. and the deeper u get into it, the harder it gets to tell your parents..