I am sorry that you have to feel the best way to decide something (prescribed to Muslims from Allah) is a form of D.M…
You told the other poster to be a man for a change, but … why don’t you be a man for a change and accept that Ithekahara, asking Him a guidance is the real best way to choose something for a change… 
or are you not a Muslim? (seriously? Paki shik or paki hindi or paki chiristian or something?)
i,ll choose him.
I am Freddy Krueger…ma’am you better not sleep too tight in your next istekhara OK? 
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by mAd_ScIeNtIsT: *
Of course. But it would still be a gross and despicable act of hypocracy by me if I were to choose some girl against my parents' wishes, and then actually expect my children to never do the same.
[/QUOTE]
I think everyone here is misunderstanding something here...
Again, and again, nobodu is supporting to marry someone againts their parents' wish if their reasons ware considerable... like that person has a immoral personality, unkind, not practicing,,, etc
But in such a case a bove, why do you even wanna marry a person who is such bad...
Bt when your parents' reasons were immoral, such as race, color, ethnicity, money, cast, nationality, etc.... parents are the one who are doing something against Islam. Allah says do not divide us by such a thing, since He created us into many different forms so that we can understand each other. and one sheik said it is encouraged or never to be discouraged to marry other race/converts, since it spread Islam more.
If a person is a nice person, regardless of who chose him/her, then, parents will come around,,, so in that case, you are Not marrying her/him against their wishes.
So, borrowing from what you wrote, it will be " a gross and despicable act of hypocracy" if parents' reason to reject a good person was unislamic....
Yeah, I will sleep so tight, and what’s you gonna do?
grow up.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by farrah123: *
So, borrowing from what you wrote, it will be " a gross and despicable act of hypocracy" if parents' reason to reject a good person was unislamic....
[/QUOTE]
Of course. But I have full confidence that my parents will never ever give an unislamic reason to deny marriage :)
Hence I was able to come out with my statement. I have absolute confidence that whoever my parents want to be my wife will make a good wife for me. My parents understand me very well and I am completely sure they will select someone who compliments me well.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by farrah123: *
Yeah, I will sleep so tight, and what's you gonna do?
grow up.
[/QUOTE]
oo lala kinky stuff...lets keep it PG13 ok?
I think the ultimate decision is yours wether parents grant their permission or not.
In my case, they don't deserve to pick breakfast options let alone my life partner.
2Bad thanks for adding your two cents.I actually do agree with you.I must be coming down with something...but you're right. I suppose we're the ones who have to spend the rest of our lives with the person we choose to marry- not our parents.
Irem yaar come on. It's not about the kind of self control you're talking of.If lets say you're friends with a guy/girl and get to know them- whats wrong with that? Parents can be okay with friendship- but when marriage comes up- its possible they might disagree.Besides I doubt I will go and ask my parents if I can start to care for a certain person or not .That usually comes out of getting to know people and being friends with them.
who me--- parents are idiots? I think that just because they dont disagree with you- doesnt mean you should never listen to them.There are times they are wrong- but there are also times they are right.Depends on the entire situation and why they disagree.And if you're kids decide to hook up with some total jerk, Im sure you'll make sure they know you disagree.
CM ohfo.Here let me help you.
'Right person' : Somebody who you've gotten to know, is your friend, and you care about them.Love them or whatever it is.But obviously somebody who you believe to be that specific person that you want to spent the rest of your life with.
I wasnt talking about how you know you have the right person- you never do.I mean it could be anyone... nobodys going to give you instructions as to how to find him/her.
But lets say you did find somebody that you wanted to marry, whos side would you take?And if you dont believe you'll meet some sort of 'right person'--- uh do you plan to never get married? Life is never like a Bollywood movie.Which is why the majority of people would choose parents over the guy/girl. Theres no such thing as happily ever after.
Kaka--- wouldnt that be 'her' in your case?
Cbio --- There are times you might want to take your parents side.You cant always be sure that you want to leave your family for somebody else.
I didn’t mean anything kinky!!! He was mocking me to scare me or something, that’s why I wrote what I wrote…
I know this topic is kinda dead now, but just wanted to defend myself..
that I meant Nothing kinky by that commemt…
I Gotta go!
Salaam to all.
You people are all wonks. I'd just use an eight-ball.
Well, I havent read other peoples' opnions to your thread but the situation in question is not as simple as it sounds bcz there are various kinds of factors involved in such situations. There could be instances where parents can be wrong or it could be that a girl out of her lack of life's experience may decide that she has found "the one". Or not recognising and appreciating what she has at her parents' home or bcz of her rebellious nature may try to commit something stupid.
There could be many factors in this one situation which make it impossible to say whether staying parents are right or your "SO".
Well, if parents have otherwise been responsible towards her all her life and have fulfilled their duties and taken care of her needs, then in this case the question would not arise cz the girl would never want to do anything that her parents dont wish is right for her.
But if, one the other hand, parents have been careless providing her with what she needs and could not meet their responsibilities towards her then only she would want to find a better life or exit through someone else who she may wrongly or rightly consider to be "hers". In this case again arise many situations. So basically, it cannot be generalised. There could be many "rights" or "wrongs" depending on a particular situation.
MQ haan theek keh rai ho
def the person..if they have their reasons for not liking him i have mine for wanting to spend the rest of my life with him..plus my parents already say i never listen to anyone n do watever i want
I will choose for my parents coz a boy always can leave you
and u always can find a guy who you will marry someday.
Lekin doosra parents milnay na mumkin hai.
Remember that.
Nilu.
Whatever your parents are like, wheither at times you hate them, wish you were not part of what they represent to you....
You owe them your life.
And I would rather stay celibate than go forcefully against their wishes. I do not see myself ruining someone elses life, however I do not intend upon breaking my parents heart either.
But reguardless, to go down without a fight is pathetic.
