Re: Would you allow your daughter to date?
marriedcouples ki baatki tou suub upset hogaye laikin yahan daughter ki date ki baat horahee hai us say koee faraq nahee per raha kisee ko,,huh
Re: Would you allow your daughter to date?
To be very honest, my parents have never said to me that I cant date. Funny I never really thought about it. Ive always made my own decisions, from how I dress, my hijab to my social life.
As for whether dating is a good thing, I can list hundreds of things to show otherwise. However I shall not . It all comes down to how a parent raises the children, what they expect of the children, and what the childen are happy with.
As for the women who are past their marriage age - I dont think the solution is dating. Thats more like looking at the world with rose tinted glasses. :p
Re: Would you allow your daughter to date?
Ofcourse dating guarantees a happier marriage. The better you know the merson you marry the happier you will be. Common sense really...ofcourse there are some arranged marriages where such happiness can be found. But I usually see the women being used as chattle.
Re: Would you allow your daughter to date?
how can dating guarantee a happier marriage? everything happens according to the will of Allah…you dont have to date know the person it can all be done within the domains of Islam, what messes up marriages is the culture adn traditions which our elders find so hard to let go of.
Re: Would you allow your daughter to date?
Dating absolutely does not guarantee happiness.
- People change or compromsie after the marriage. Just because you know somebody well doesnt mean you will be happy with him/her.
- Some people never find the “right” person - despite the dating.
- Happiness is not in dating, but rather what the future holds
- Arranged doesnt mean forced
- What makes you think people in an “arranged” marriage do not know each other?
Of course unless you’re also talking about the physical aspects of things here too.
Re: Would you allow your daughter to date?
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No, I am not talking about 16-18.
I am talking about girls who are in universities, late twenties and single. They are mature enough to decide what is good and bad for them. What is responsible and what is not.
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Ah, well, in that case it really is a moot point. Parents trying to control the actions of their children after they have reached legal adulthood is wrong on so many levels. (Unless, as ahmadjee touched upon, your daughter is wholly dependent on you and is living under your roof, in which case one has a point) [And emotional blackmail can be much more effective then straight threats]
Muslim Queen,
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Its not that you are deciding for them, you're the parent, you bring them into this world, the least they can do is respect your wishes - assuming that your wishes are sensible enough.
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You are the parent. You were responsible for bringing them into this world, the least you could do is respect their wishes and accept them with an open heart even if they are at odds with your morals?
Re: Would you allow your daughter to date?
Have you ever dated or been married? If not, then SHAAAADAP!!!
Re: Would you allow your daughter to date?
Its their duty to listen to me.
At odds with my morals? Im not going to force my beliefs onto them, rather I will teach them what I believe. I dont want them to date , period. They’re my children, and Im looking out for their happiness. Im not about to make them miserable all their lives. I hope they’ll turn out like myself.
matsui – after you. And my personal life is non of your business.Ullu ke pathay pata nahen kahan sai aajathe hain :o
Re: Would you allow your daughter to date?
You are the parent. You were responsible for bringing them into this world, the least you could do is respect their wishes and accept them with an open heart even if they are at odds with your morals?
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exactly the parent is responsible....so you will be asked about your kids actions on the day of judgement........why would you want your kids to date when you know its wrong and they will get punished for it? dont you want your kids to have the best in this life and the hereafter?
Re: Would you allow your daughter to date?
^ hahahah…maybe you should marry who you select for your daughter. It would probably make her very happy. Everyone will be happy. 
Re: Would you allow your daughter to date?
You are the parent. You were responsible for bringing them into this world, the least you could do is respect their wishes and accept them with an open heart even if they are at odds with your morals?
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exactly the parent is responsible....so you will be asked about your kids actions on the day of judgement........why would you want your kids to date when you know its wrong and they will get punished for it? dont you want your kids to have the best in this life and the hereafter?
Re: Would you allow your daughter to date?
***** sigh *** 
why do people assume that an arrange marriage equals a forced marriage?**
Re: Would you allow your daughter to date?
As for dating guranteeing happiness:
There are a couple of points.
Muslim Queen is right. Dating does not, and cannot, gurantee complete happiness and success if the objective in mind is long-term relationship/marriage.
What it does is that it increases the odds of finding someone whom you can respect, find something in common with and live on in comparative harmony for the rest of your life.
Muslim Queen,
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1) People change or compromsie after the marriage. Just because you know somebody well doesnt mean you will be happy with him/her.
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Nope. If you know someone for long enough, you can get a fair idea of how compatible you are going to be with him or her. Odds of that increase if it includes living together before marriage or serious commitment to see how well you function as a single unit.
People may change, but close prior association with the person makes it easier for someone to deal with the change, since you can presumably understand the motives behind the transition better and attempt to deal with them with a larget dataset at hand.
And do you honestly think that a compromise should be preferred over personal happiness?
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2) Some people never find the "right" person - despite the dating.
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Tough luck. But in any case, they may have enjoyed the dates while they lasted, or while the relationship was going strong. Something is better then nothing; cliched but so true in this case.
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3) Happiness is not in dating, but rather what the future holds
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Personal opinion/massive generalization. If things are going good, you generally feel happy. Sex can make you like that, so can good can, as can the fact that you have someone in your arms or closeby who actually gives a **** about who you are and thinks you important enough to spend some of his with you. It's little things like this which count in the filed of happiness - fate often stops the grander plans from coming to fruitation.
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4) Arranged doesnt mean forced.
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Nope, it doesn't. But the point I guess is that arranged has a greater chance of failure and in most cases spouses have to resort to compromise, which more often then not makes them extremely miserable.
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5) What makes you think people in an "arranged" marriage do not know each other?
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You need to settle on a defination of 'arranged' before you ask that.
Re: Would you allow your daughter to date?
No. X I agree.
But in the end there are pros and cons for dating and not dating. Personally all the “getting to know a person” can be done if the two people decide they are interested in marrying each other. I have nothing against that – but for even that I have what I term “limits” . Of course views differ from person to person.
Now let me go back to thinking of my daughter as a little three year old wearing matching outfits as myself. 
Re: Would you allow your daughter to date?
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Its their duty to listen to me.
At odds with my morals? Im not going to force my beliefs onto them, rather I will teach them what I believe. I dont want them to date , period. They're my children, and Im looking out for their happiness. Im not about to make them miserable all their lives. I hope they'll turn out like myself.
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But you will be doing just that. Everyone forces their believes on their children in one manner or the other. One cannot avoid that. The key IMO is to realize what the important factors are and be open-minded about them.
Of course you can term it teaching if you want to be politically correct/evasive, won't change the gist of it.
It is their 'duty'?
Gimme a break. Their idea of happiness can be extremely different and totally at odds with yours. They are not you. At some point you got to realise that they have evolved into living, breating beings of their own and might, just might dare to differing needs of their own, you cannot be breathing down their necks during their whole lives. Millions of parents over countless generations have had the same notions, 'all we do is for the welfare of our children, do you honestly expect us to think ill of them?' Well, here's a clue. Why don't you listen to them for a change, and pay attention to what 'they' might like and appreciate.
I just cannot understand how you can stop someone you love from trying out something they may enjoy greatly which hurts no one else.
Devoted2Allah posted,
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exactly the parent is responsible....so you will be asked about your kids actions on the day of judgement........why would you want your kids to date when you know its wrong and they will get punished for it? dont you want your kids to have the best in this life and the hereafter?
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might thee beg in humble supplication to thou mighty self to be granted the perimission of possessing a seperate religion or point-of-view? :d
Re: Would you allow your daughter to date?
Sorry, dude. Fair enough, I guess.
Anyway, hopefully you took no offense - may you have a fullfilling relationship with thou progeny and ensuing heirs. :P :D
Re: Would you allow your daughter to date?
I took no offense. But I guess we'll live our lives according to us - as individuals. Everyones going to be different. But I very much doubt if I will close my eyes to my kids happiness.
Oh yeah same to you, Im not worried just yet. :p
Re: Would you allow your daughter to date?
I would never allow any child of mine to behave in a way that I myself did not behave. I think it's utterly hypocritical to hold one's children to a higher standard than one holds one's self.
Re: Would you allow your daughter to date?
its easier for us to discuss these things since we dont have kids of our own. jis par parti hai, unhee ko zyada pata hota hai. i would love to read responses from faisal or kaleem or anyone who actually have daughters of their own right now. i wonder what they think about this whole letting ur daughter date issue.