Working wives

Lifestyle Parenting, Household Affairs and Cuisine corner
61

that is because your standards are low or maybe yourunderstanding of mother or god is of a mediocre entity. My mother worked, My wife works, I never feltor my kid feels that they are missing out on anything.

hehe..How old is your kid anyways. Has he told you to shut up yet? I guess not. My mother is a housewife and I think she hasn’t done any less of a job either. I am very proud of her and myself for how I treat women.

Are you afraid that your wife might end up being more sucessful in her professional life then your pitiful accpomplishments?
This is a typical insecurity that is fed in the minds of people who grow up in the west. You are not the first one I have heard this from…Which women burst your ego there?

Strong mothers create confident boys, not pussies who condemn women to hell because they work.
I agree strong mothers, if given a chance, do a wonderful job with kids. Maybe you don’t make enough to support your family in a decent manner or maybe your wife prefers to work over her kid.

62

fayz: if a woman works there will be a competition eh? If she doesn't work, then everything is owned by the husband, so no competition and no headache. Ah!

And as per the ego, well it's not ego you spoiled desi boy! We are so used to seeing women nodding their heads to everything a man says, that even at the slightest hint of her fighting back we label her egotistical, which is absolutely fine by me. And by career oriented u mean those who abandon families for work? Or those who work and take care of their families too( with or without the help of their partners)?

Faisal: I am trying to talk sense in all this insanity, and trying to say family is a unit which runs well if each person contributes equally in everything, but some people here aren't ready to compromise, it's extreme for them, they are condeming women to hell just coz they wanna work.

63

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Fayz: *

that is because your standards are low or maybe yourunderstanding of mother or god is of a mediocre entity. My mother worked, My wife works, I never feltor my kid feels that they are missing out on anything.

hehe..How old is your kid anyways. Has he told you to shut up yet? I guess not. My mother is a housewife and I think she hasn’t done any less of a job either. I am very proud of her and myself for how I treat women.

Are you afraid that your wife might end up being more sucessful in her professional life then your pitiful accpomplishments?
This is a typical insecurity that is fed in the minds of people who grow up in the west. You are not the first one I have heard this from…Which women burst your ego there?

Strong mothers create confident boys, not pussies who condemn women to hell because they work.
I agree strong mothers, if given a chance, do a wonderful job with kids. Maybe you don’t make enough to support your family in a decent manner or maybe your wife prefers to work over her kid.
[/QUOTE]

I think women who chose to be house wives are just as strong. There is nothing wrong with being a housewife you moron. That is not what we are arguing. Your insistence that women who work are on an ego trip or are abdicating some responsibility is what is asinine.

Choosing to succeed in your profession is not at the cost of raisng the kids. Whereever did you get that silly idea? And don;t worry about how much money I make. It is beyond the realm of your most wonderful dream. No go and develop some code.

And what you are refereing to as insecurity is actaully acknowledgement of womens capabilities. The insecurities are highly visible in your assertion that women who work are going to hell.

64

Women who put careers before kids are definitely going to hell…Call me God if you will. Your insecurity is quite visible that if your wife doesn't work then it will put you in a narrow minded male category..Get over it and give the kid what he/she deserves.

You doorknob, I don’t really care how much you make. Don’t sit on the petty cash ok? Give some to your wife as well so that she can help you change your baby’s pampers.

As for the coding..haha! who gave you that idea…I’m not your hindu brother from Dehli. I'm doing just great without coding haha! moron!

65

Great so you are God too. Well lookie here, I am GOD as well. Nice to meet you. See some people work not because they need the money but because of the challenge, my little coolie. Women who work, some might have to becuase of the financial situation, some want to becAUse they are good at what they do. Like you are good at being an idiot. The problem with Fobs like you is that they bring their village idiot mentalities along with the bad smell

66

And you stereotype fobs just like that haha! I think I have been exposed to western culture more than you, hence the wisdom. I say you go breastfeed your baby…its about time…and let your wife deal with her bigger challenges at hand.

67

fayz, truly.. I am amazed at how much anger you have towards women who want to make something of themselves. Have you never witnessed a single such case where a woman juggled both work and family and raised marvellous kids. So, even if a woman can handle the task (ofcourse with the cooperation of her husband) still she is a bad mother just beacuse she makes dough besides changing diapers etc. What is wrong with a man helping with the chores and supporting her wife?

68

No, I stereotype morons like you . I would breast feed, if I could. That is what it means to share responsibility. I will give a bottle instead tomorrow morning.

69

woman who work dont have an ego problem…

my mum worked for about 16 years during her marriage.. shes only recently become a housewife.. and trust me it wasnt to boost her ego

some women work cus they like to earn more money, nto for themselves, btu maybe so they can provide their children with more things

i salute them :kiss:

70

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Matsui: *
No, I stereotype morons like you . I would breast feed, if I could.

[/QUOTE]

yeah you can't..get a eff'in hint...don't fight with nature

71

Sheesh guys! Atleast fight like grown men. Kiya teenagers ki tarah gandi gandi gaalian day rahay ho.

72

Hmm, Intresting discussion,

But the honest truth is, every situation is different, in my case we had our first child in the first year of marriage and our second child in our third year of marriage.

My wife had a full time job, taking care of the kids for the next 7 years till my kids started their schooling.

After that she started to feel her time was being wasted at home, but again, there is no work schedule that can adhere to a mothers schedule, hence she could not go out and work.

So she did the second best thing, she started working from home (She is a Beautician), back in Bombay we used to live in a complex of about 11 buildings, and believe me word of mouth is the best advertisement, soon she had more on her plate than she could handle.

Now in the USA she still works from home, she has converted our dining area into her own domain.

The point is what worked for me may not work for the next guy, but where there is will there is a way, you just have to figure what works for you.

I have a friend who has 4 kids, he is a banker, and his wife runs a catering business from home and quite succesfully too.

Another friends wife runs a Boutique from home she sells Jewellery and Clothes from India/Pakistan.

There is another friend whose spouse helps him write his accounts, and is home by the time kids come back from school.

Having said that, I personally feel being a full time Housewife/Daughter in Law/Mother/Cook/Laundry person/Home work teacher etc etc, is in itself a very NOBLE and very DIFFICULT and very THANKLESS job, that we men sometimes take for granted.

In spite of doing all those things, if she is still willing and able to pursue a career, what more can I say other than I SALUTE YOU.

regards,

Aejaz

73

I dont intend to work when I have kids, and if I do it will be something I do from home. Dont like the office environment one bit. Been there done that, and it is awful in my opinion.

I dont get bored if I dont work, so unlike many that posted here, if I dont have to work when married, I will choose not to. Lots of other things I can think of doing.

My mother rarely ever worked, and she is still the busiest woman I know, mash'Allah.

I've had many conversations with kids growing up who had moms and home and those who didnt. Without doubt, the ones with moms at home were happier and better behaved. There were exceptions, but very few and far between. This is not a national sample, so dont quote me here, this is my personal experience. smile

74

Interesting thread indeed :k:

for me..i dont like to ask people for money to buy things i want too… so i would rather work after marriage(if and only if my husband permit).. and if khuda na khausta he isnt financially stable and requires me to work and share the household… then i am willing to contribute 100% of my income but if hes all well and also allow me to work(just to kill the time) then i will keep the money for myself, buy goodies for my home and also save it for bad times…

as far as managing my home is concerned then offcourse after shaadi my first priority will be my home and my kids… i definately dont want my work to effect my family life… if i still manage to do something else then offcourse i will work.. but making sure that i am taking goood… infact very goood care of my family…

FF i agreed with you on this… but dont u think its soo strange i know my cousins who would go shopping with their dad and buy anythin THEY like… without even lookin at the price tag… offcourse their father is earning extremely well…same as my dad.. but when i go shoppin with my parents… first i would never buy anything but if i am forced to get something then it has to be the cheapest thing ever…but now ever since i started to work.. i would buy the most expensive dresses… cuz i think expensive stuffs are better than cheapest one.. i knwo i m crazy… but i wouldnt mind spending 200 just for my sun glasses which i did(last week :stuck_out_tongue: )

my family thinks that i am very cheap… but i like this way… na koi mujh say sawaal karay aur na hi main aik say do baar kuch laine ke liay sochoan… so definately agar parents ka kharcha nahi karati to husband ka to door ki baat hia… yeh aur bat hia ke he would buy me presents like every week :clown:

75

Aejaz: shame on you for not agreeing to help your wife out with her household chores and kids, she had to leave her full time job and start one at home. Count the sacrifices she has made for you and see how much you have paid back. Don't you think it was possible for her to resume her job if you had tried helping her, like after the kids had started schooling, you could have agreed to help her, or get a maid or a nanny( if school pick up timings clashed). Really, instead of just SALUTING and flipping the remote from your couch you could make her dinner every alternate day.

76

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Munni: *
I dont intend to work when I have kids, and if I do it will be something I do from home. Dont like the office environment one bit. Been there done that, and it is awful in my opinion.

[/QUOTE]

You will get one enthusiastic thumbs up from my wife for that!

77

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Chandbeti: *
Aejaz: shame on you for not agreeing to help your wife out with her household chores and kids, she had to leave her full time job and start one at home. Count the sacrifices she has made for you and see how much you have paid back. Don't you think it was possible for her to resume her job if you had tried helping her, like after the kids had started schooling, you could have agreed to help her, or get a maid or a nanny( if school pick up timings clashed). Really, instead of just SALUTING and flipping the remote from your couch you could make her dinner every alternate day.
[/QUOTE]

Chandbeti,

Two Things,

1st Yaar when did I say my wife had a full time job, and when did I say that I dont help her.

2nd In numerous previous threads and posts, I have clearly mentioned that I cook on weekends.

Now shame on you for making this a Man Bashing Post.

regards,

Aejaz

78

^^

Holy cow! 79 posts in two days. Not bad eh Faisal!

79

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by ~Tikhi Jalebi~: *
I agree with the "own" money part..if both are makin money then both should be responsible for running the house

n Islamically speaking, theres that ayah about men being breadwinner and leaders of the home (Q4:34) but I dont remember reading or hearing about something that said women r suppose to do all house work? I think there is something about raising kids though...so unless u find me something every single man should be GRATEFUL for their wives, moms, sisters or daughters for everything they do!!
[/QUOTE]

Agreed every single man should be grateful to his wife, sister(s), daughter(s), and mother. Just like every woman should be grateful to her Husband, son(s), brother(s), father. But that is not what we were discussing here... Respect and care for your spouse is always the first priority, I never said it wasn't. Also I never implied that women's responsibilities lie in house chores.

80

Oh, I am sorry. I misread the part about her having a full time job before kids. And I don’t e-stalk you, so I don’t know that you cook on weekends, but that ain’t enuff now is it, assuming yer wife works for her home business as hard as you do for your job. So shame on you to the power of infinity. :snooty: