This is a question to both gupans and guppies, particularly unmarried ones.
Guppans:
Will you be working after marrying so that you are contributing to the family income significantly, lets say over 40% family revenue? Do you believe that you should not depend on a man for your survival and you want to be financially independent of your husband? Do you have a career that will allow you this?
Guppies:
Are you expecting that your wife should work outside of the house and provide a sigificant % of family income? In that case will you allow your wife to control her finances herself?
Married guppans/guppies can let us how they manage their finances.
I hate having to ask someone for money or someone knowing of or keeping check of my expenses. I would like to have my own income even if it is not needed to run the household.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Femme Fatale: *
I hate having to ask someone for money or someone knowing of or keeping check of my expenses. I would like to have my own income even if it is not needed to run the household.
[/QUOTE]
That's not income though. Its spare money to spend as u wish which is alright but husbands must wonder what happened with the money or don't they? It can't be as much as a job would bring in anyway. Besides if the marraige doesn;t work out (God forbid) what do u do then? Start ur career from scratch?
^ This is good stuff. What husband earns will be used to run the household. What wife earns will be her pocket-money to be spent as she wishes. Wonderful. Female-lib has come full circle. Men should start their own lib movement now. Madhanee will be the President.
Faisal read properly before getting excited please.
Asif2000 asked if pocket money given by a husband would be considered income and my reply was to that.
By the way under Islamic guidelines the wife's income is solely her own and she is under no obligation to use it on the household. Running the house is the mans job :p Argue with that.
This is fantastic. And then some people complain Islam is unfair to women. Anyway, my comments were mostly tongue-in-cheek to respond to your statement "I would like to have my own income even if it is not needed to run the household." I find the whole concept fascinating.
I htink women should get a daily allowance of like $25. Otherwise You know what happens if they get financial freedom..they start acting all independent and siht, they lose the burlap because they want to show off their Jimy Choos, which invariably means a little ankle :taubatauba: And finally, they start thinking about compund interest..which is the biggest harami thing in the world.
Faisal that statement does not outline where the money will be used. All it means is that even if the guy is doing superbly well and his income alone is a lot more than what we need I would still like to have my own job.
That's a rather pampering exception for women!
TJ I would most probably I would take some time off.
Islam puts the reponsibility of financial support on men, true. But Islam also puts certain responsibility on women as well. If a woman works for her "own" money, what will happen to those responsibilities? Is that fair to the husband and kids?
TJ -- some so called "modern and liberated" women get amnesia when it comes to their own responsibilities stated by Islam but they clearly remember Islam when it comes to “it is husband's responsibility to earn the bread”.
I absolutely agree that women can do a superb job working and raising a family just like many men do as well. I know many women who do that successfully and do more than their husbands can ever do; I am not arguing that point. I have trouble with the notion of "own" money. After you get married there is no concept of “own”, you are part of the family and all your time and effort should be dedicated to the family.
Ok guys I am not saying that the money I earn will be only for me to squander even though it sounds like a delightful prospect. Nor do I expect my husband to give me pocket money if I am working. Im not some silly 8 year old that needs pocket money! I do have a bit of an ego and asking my husband for money would demand great effort and unease. I make do with the absolute minimum if I do not have money of my own i.e. when i had no job. I don't take money from my parents tau husband tau door ki baat hei. I don't want him paying me 'pocket money' for taking care of the house and kids. That is a joint responsibilty which both of us should be participating in without monetary rewards. I don't want to be cooking and cleaning all day long and then depending upon a man everytime I need something for myself. It is lovely if a man can provide you wth everything but I would feel uncomfortable being so dependent. Anyhow let the time come. Who knows what route i'll take!
Chachoo put urself in the wives position who relies on her husband for anything and everything. How would you like it if your wife was keeping a tab on everything u spend or if you were answerable to her for all u spent?
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Femme Fatale: *
Ok guys I am not saying that the money I earn will be only for me to squander even though it sounds like a delightful prospect. Nor do I expect my husband to give me pocket money if I am working. Im not some silly 8 year old that needs pocket money! I do have a bit of an ego and asking my husband for money would demand great effort and unease. I make do with the absolute minimum if I do not have money of my own i.e. when i had no job. I don't take money from my parents tau husband tau door ki baat hei. I don't want him paying me 'pocket money' for taking care of the house and kids. That is a joint responsibilty which both of us should be participating in without monetary rewards. I don't want to be cooking and cleaning all day long and then depending upon a man everytime I need something for myself. It is lovely if a man can provide you wth everything but I would feel uncomfortable being so dependent. Anyhow let the time come. Who knows what route i'll take!
[/QUOTE]
I'm with you on this one. For me, it's not about just being dependent on a husband. I just don't think it's nice to leech off of a guy for money. I'm sorry, but that's the way I see it. The only reason why I say this is cause most girls these days are well capable of working....be it as a secretary or as a doctor. I personally do not want to be a housewife until I have kids.
FF - I can speak for myself... the way my wife and I have built our relationship we are never answerable to each other when it comes to money matters... I never asked my wife, who stays home with our kids, for any justification for her expenditures. She gets the paycheck and she decides what to do with the money. All major financial transactions are of course discussed mutually but she doesn't call me in the middle of the day asking me if she can buy those shoes or that shirt or what ever.... actually she tells me how much I can spend on food and other stuff,….
If the relationship is built right and there is open communication from both partners in a relationship I don't think "dependency" is an issue and no one should be answerable to anyone for expenditures. If husband and wife are keeping tab on each other for all the expenses there is something wrong in the relationship, TRUST factor should be the place to look into….
By the way under Islamic guidelines the wife's income is solely her own and she is under no obligation to use it on the household. Running the house is the mans job :p Argue with that.
[/QUOTE]
Hud ho gai. Meri dharmpatni, good Hindu woman that she is, follows this principle of Islam to the letter. Voh mere muqable me 40% kamaati hain aur eke ek paisa rakh deti hain. Halaki main tankhe ke ek din pahle muflis hota hoon, uska bank account bharela hain!