Wives warning / threatening their husbands not to keep a beard

Lifestyle Relationships
241

Re: Wives warning / threatening their husbands not to keep a beard

because brother, if you are married, you have to think about the likes/dislikes of the person you are married to...you are responsible for keeping the person you love, happy (within reason of course)...by keeping a beard, you are imposing your daarRhi on her...which she doesnt like...how does that make you feel?

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Sister as I mentioned before, it is either a two way traffic or no traffic at all. There are many things woman do as part of their make up (plucking eyebrows, makeup, coloring hair, long nails, nail polish...etc.) which some husbands might not like. Let me re-phrase your comment from a man's perspective.

[quote]
If you are married, you have to think about the likes/dislikes of the person you are married to...you are responsible for keeping the person you love, happy (within reason of course)...by doing a hijaab, plucking of eyebrows, coloring hair, long nails, nail polish...etc, you are imposing your choice of appearance on him...which he doesnt like...how does that make you feel?
[/quote]

Timepass-July 2012
243

Re: Wives warning / threatening their husbands not to keep a beard

marriage IS a two way traffic..no matter which way you look at it!

by changing the statement it doesnt erase the fact that people associate the beard with Islamic practices...when in reality..it has cultural roots instead of religious....

any drastic changes in terms of looks AFTER marriage...should be consulted with your partner first.....to avoid any 'threatening'!! I think thats pretty sensible...
all the plucking, coloring etc....now..whats the harm in that??? if my husband likes unruly eyebrows...then I sure dont care what others think..whats the religious connotation in your complaint??

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I was not talking of the religion perspective in my above comment. I made the comment of liking disliking of makeup..etc. not on the basis of religious perspective (so we are not talking of haraam halal here), but on the basis of likeness / dis likeness of a husband.

I am only saying that when a wife wants her husband to respect what she likes or dislikes in his appearance, then she should also respect what he likes or dislikes in her appearance. Same goes for husbands, when a husband wants his wife to respect what he likes or dislikes in her appearance, then he should also respect what she likes or dislikes in his appearance.
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Irrespective of the religious view, in short it is **"tit for tat". Respect your partners choice and s/he would respect yours. SIMPLE.** Justice demands that a wife should respect his husband's beard if she want him to respect her choice of her own appearance.** (Again, we are not talking of religion here)

[quote]
any drastic changes in terms of looks AFTER marriage...should be consulted with your partner first.....to avoid any 'threatening'!! I think thats pretty sensible...
[/quote]
Of course it should be like that, and I have said nothing against it.

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^ not talking about religion? but that is what you've been talking about all along in this whole thread!?!

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Re: Wives warning / threatening their husbands not to keep a beard

^ Please read my first post again and show me where did I tried to prove beard to be correct in terms of religion.(I only called it a sunnah). If I have been talking about religion in the middle of the thread then it was in context to when religion was brought into the discussion by other people.

Quoting from my first post:

[QUOTE]
I want to bring into your notice, that I know a lot of men who never forced their wives in doing whatever they wanted. They even didn't force them to wear hijaabs. BUT when at one stage of their life they realized the sunnah of the prophet (saw) and were convinced to follow it, they faced the worst resistance from their Muslim wives.
[/QUOTE]

The emphasis was that if a husband doesn't force his wife against what she wants to do, then she should also not force him against his own will, when we talk of personal choice of appearance

Timepass-July 2012
247

Re: Wives warning / threatening their husbands not to keep a beard

bro stp...you say "resistance from their Muslim wives" as if he were doing a mighty religious deed...by keeping a beard...so yes...your statement does conclude in religious terms..
if it were a personal choice and she was objecting to it...you didnt have to bring up the term 'Muslim' while mentioning the wives...therefore avoiding the religious disagreement from the readers...

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Re: Wives warning / threatening their husbands not to keep a beard

^ sister, I mentioned "Muslim wives" because I mentioned before in the same paragraph

[quote]
I want to bring into your notice, that I know a lot of men who never forced their wives in doing whatever they wanted. They even didn't force them to wear hijaabs.
[/quote]
Hijaab is for Muslim women, so I wanted to keep my comment specific to the disagreements that occur between Muslim couples.

249

So Prophet Muhammad PBUH had a beard, correct? Infact all the prophets and sahabas did. So IF a man wants to keep a beard to FOLLOW the beloved Prophet PBUH and the pious men, then it is HIS decision. He's doing it because of the love and there should not be any resistance. On the other hand, if he's growing it out because it's 'in' fashion then that's where a wife can object. These statements are making it seem like you guys think Prophet Muhammad PBUH is not even a part of Islam in any way. Imitating him (PBUH) in manners such as keeping a beard or following other sunnahs is NOT anyone's business except your own because Prophet Muhammad PBUH is a big part of Islam and your religion/faith is NOONE'S business except your own. Therefore, a wife, mother, daughter, son, father, yadi yadi yada cannot tell you what to do REGARDLESS of whether it is fard or sunnah! Because obligatory or NOT, doing it for the sake of your faith STILL counts for something and you will be accountable for it, alone. If you do it with the intention of following the Prophet PBUH, you WILL get sawab for it, noone can deny that. There's alot of ajar in following all the sunnahs. So why should a wife even have any right to restrict her husband from earning good deeds? Therefore, she should not even interfere.

250

^ Sister, I understand and agree (just like a lot of Muslims all over the world) that Beard is Wajib and part of Sunnah.

My intentions of starting this thread was that if a Muslim wife fails to understand the connection between Islam and Beard then she should let her husband keep a beard for the reason that he never forced her in terms of choosing anything for herself, including her appearance.

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Irrespective of religion, I don’t know why people find it weird to keep a full beard. Even Jews and Christians agree that all the prophets had beards. Following are some of the sayings and list of people from wikipedia.com:
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  • “There are two kinds of people in this world that go around beardless — boys and women — and I am neither one.”** -Greek saying**
  • “A woman with a beard looks like a man. A man without a beard looks like a woman.” - Afghan Saying
  • “The beard is the handsomeness of the face, and a wife is the joy in a man’s heart.” - R’ Akiva, Eicha Rabbah

Scientists and philosophers **with beards
**

**
Political leaders** with Beards

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Re: Wives warning / threatening their husbands not to keep a beard

1)Please do not assume, or undermine my appreciation and love for our Prophet (pbuh)!
2)if someone wants to imitate, do it out of love, dont make it a law!! because then it is not out of love! I dont know why people are making it so confusing...at one point they claim to be doing it out of love and admiration....then all of a sudden it becomes a law....!!
3)bro stp..i have already mentioned the fact that MANY people...muslims and non-muslims have had beards.....as their personal choice....jews..christians..atheists...hindus...etc...
based on that...I was concerned over the claims being made that beard has a religious connotation......who declares it wajib?? for what reasons? based on what?? personal preference and cultural practices of sahabas and Prophets(pbut)???

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Am I stopping them from doing so? I am not 'judgmental' like you my friend? I don't think anyone said it looks good, just a few who are just supportive of their husbands decision, that's all.

Its very obvious this long beard doesn't look good. Even babies get scared when they see such long beards, so you cant blame people for that.

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[QUOTE]
again..there is no evidence to be found anywhere in the Holy Book that suggest keeping the beard is equivalent to following the Prophet(pbuh)
on the side note....even the Hadith does NOT direct you to keep one, it only asks that if you decide to keep one, do it properly...ie..trim it and dye it..so you AT LEAST look presentable...HENCE growing one is not mandatory...it is your personal choice...
[/QUOTE]

Chanda the hadith has already been posted in this thread more than once, in which the Prophet pbuh instructs the Muslim men to grow a beard. Fine we get it, you dont accept this hadith as authority that to grow the beard is wajib or mustahab. But please stop stating your personal opinion as law. Just because you dont accept or believe that growing a beard for a Muslim man has any connection to Islam, doesnt mean that no one else has the right to either. Lets at least please respect the difference of opinion here

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that pretty much sums up the other side......

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midnight..no one is talking about rights.....i guess this whole beard and religion deal is irrelevant of each other.....whether its a personal choice out of love for the prophet...or making it into a law....where is the line drawn??

257

When husbands start FORCING and wives start THREATENING then its time to rethink about keeping this sort of relationship. Beard it self has no religious importance but majority of muslims believe that if you keep one to follow the sunnah then you **might **get a reward for that. It all boils down to personal choice. No one is less of a muslim for not liking facial hair.

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Re: Wives warning / threatening their husbands not to keep a beard

A note to myself: I should prefer using the phrase "in my personal opinion which might be wrong" when I give a statement on the behalf of any religion without any evidence or source to support my views. In Islam Quranic verses and authentic Hadiths are considered authentic sources.

I should also not bluntly make any statement of any particular group of people's belief to be wrong, because may be they have gone through a lot of pain in their sincere search for the truth, so their beliefs also deserve "at least" a bit of respect.

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STP you can direct your response to my post. This thing that you do is cheezy. I never said that any group is wrong in their beliefs. I said that they believe in a certain thing and they might get rewarded for that. No body has a factual proof. On the other hand I do expect people to respect the choice of others who do not make this religious connection and not make them automatically lesser beings.
My post didn't require any supportive evidence because first I am not writing a term paper and secondly it is common sense that beard it self is a biological/anatomical thing and not religious. Every man and some women can grow one.
Ps I dont see you saying in my personal opinion which might be wrong. Following and practicing a certain religion is a personal decision and that decision can be wrong. As muslims think that Hindu,jews, christian are wrong.

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Well said.