Re: Will you refuse a girl if...............
Dragons and Good men exist too. FACT
Re: Will you refuse a girl if...............
I bought my intern a coffee the other day. He has been working till midnight every night on our cases. I also got them dinner too.
I guess now I'm a lady pimp.
Re: Will you refuse a girl if...............
Or wait no, I'm a tharki lady.
No wait, a tharki aurat.
Oh..hhaha, hold on, I'm a THARKI BUDHIYA.
BOO-YA!
Re: Will you refuse a girl if...............
No No. Its your motherly instinct oozing out.
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ya and who lost her marbles too
Re: Will you refuse a girl if...............
I hope I don't offend anyone but there seems to be a bit of hypocrisy in Desi culture in regards to interaction between the sexes. People don't seem to have any issue with interaction between the sexes EXCEPT in regards to "rishtas." Everyone is quite fine with mixed parties, mehndies, weddings and other mixed gatherings and is quick to point out how mixed gatherings are a personal decision but God forbid people interact when it comes to anything even remotely related to "rishtas."
Also, the same girls who whinge about "oh, the double standards" in regards to themselves later employ those same double standards when it comes to looking for a spouse for their own brothers. Hypocrisy, much?
This is Life1, saying that won't help much :D
Re: Will you refuse a girl if...............
I am so confused
Does the rishta aunty ask the larki's parents "so does your daughter have lunch with males at work?"
Do the parents say "oh by the way, our daughter has lunch with male colleagues"
or do the larke walle ask "so does your daughter have lunch with males at work?"
How does this even come up.... ?!!
or or or
is it..."we saw your daughter having lunch with males at work... vat is the deal vid dat...?"
I think the important issue here is WHAT DID THEY EAT. if she ordered a chicken schnitzel thats plenty of reason to reject rishta. She basically paid for a huge chicken nugget.
Clearly she is bananas.
Re: Will you refuse a girl if...............
^I'd so be rejected.
I'm surprised they didnt go as far as figuring out whether the food was halal or not
Re: Will you refuse a girl if…
Re: Will you refuse a girl if...............
Clearly this has turned into a leftist vs conservative thread. Lol.
It all boils down to ones preference and beliefs. There is no right or wrong answer.
Now, put the handbags away ladies.
Re: Will you refuse a girl if...............
^ and the lunches we buy for hot men at work.
Re: Will you refuse a girl if...............
^ and the lunches we buy for hot men at work.
You can buy me lunch anytime...
Ceo man shhh.
Let this continue to play out. Some of the men are swinging their handbags harder than the ladies.
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sometimes i'm shocked at how narrow minded ppl can be...if you work in the same office for 2-3 yrs and you grabbed lunch together for half an hr cuz u dont wana go out to eat alone...why is everything in the brown world come down to the grl having loose morals...
Re: Will you refuse a girl if...............
^ because we ARE the brown world and everything in our world is muddy
[quote="S_and_S, post:96, topic:308127"]
I just think that if you find your spouse (or in this thread a SIL) of somehow being disrespectful/inappropriate because of casual work lunches then the problem isn't with them doing it necessarily, it's with your insecurities about your marriage or possibly yourself.
If you suspect them actually engaging in inappropriate behavior outside of the work setting - in your example phone calls and an over friendly personal relationship - that's of course an issue because there's a clear line between what's appropriate and what's not. In my opinion. But that doesn't mean all and every lunch is inappropriate, I think you have to consider a persons behavior over having lunch together.
Nai nai S and S-jee. It's a matter of where you draw your boundaries. You've just said phone calls are stepping over the line for you - whereas others have argued that a casual phone call is okay. So, are YOU insecure about your relationship?
I draw the line at out-of-necessity interactions; be it lunches, phone calls, socialising after work. All that jazz. I don't deem it necessary to engage with one-on-one social interactions with members of the opposite sex unless you don't have a choice. If the guy can choose who he has lunch with - don't choose a girl. Simple.
[/QUOTE]
Wow this thread went so far in one day. What I meant was intention of a phone call and over friendly behavior for something more than just a casual friendship. My husband has co-workers blowing up his email and phone till 2AM - mostly wanting to crunch numbers.
Re: Will you refuse a girl if…
I know right, shouldn’t it be up to the guy if he is okay with the girl having gone out to lunches with male colleagues.
I’m baffled! 
Going out with male colleagues is not something to frown upon, sometimes it can be due to a project, but others have said it is a problem if they go without reason. You do realise that is never true, sometimes you may not want to eat alone, or are planning to go to the same place, or the fact is if you are working in a place you need to maintain good relationships with the people around. If you are conservative it is fine to avoid them but going once in a while isn’t going to kill you and neither will it make you behaya.
I haven’t gone into the work situation yet, however at uni there have been countless times where I’ve been put in a group where there is only guys. What should I do then, runaway? Before people think I’m to liberal I want to make it clear I’m not, I don’t go out randomly with guys but I don’t judge others as well. I just want to give you insight into a girl who maintains her distance but doesn’t cry foul if there are meetings with the opposite sex that are needed. No I don’t go on lunches with these guys randomly but there have been times when we’ve been working and then got hungry so went to pick something up. How is that a bad thing? There have been times we’ve been on the same trains to go to a place for our work, and on our way back home we are together as well. Should I insist on getting in the next carriage because going to the place was work but on our way back it wasn’t?
Yes I don’t get unnecessarily free with guys unless it is due to work but that doesn’t mean I haven’t had the occasional discussions or laugh with them in common rooms or computer rooms. If I was completely reserved I wouldn’t have got any work done or when I needed help I wouldn’t have been able to ask the guys who understand it. You can be friendly without it turning into a lunch date or something else. Most of my classmates know that I’m a friendly person and I get along with most people but they also don’t get “too friendly” with me either. There is a zone which I know they won’t go into and neither would I.
When I do join the workforce, I might not go out for every non work lunches but that doesn’t mean I won’t go for any or that I judge others who do. Don’t judge a girl because she has lunch with her colleagues, if she goes out with two separate male colleagues are you going to say that she is doing both?
Re: Will you refuse a girl if...............
I'm also surprised at how many girls decide rishtas for their brothers.
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No reason to reject a rishta just because she had a meal with a guy! unless someone actually knows that shes romantically involved, this is just baseless accusation. unfortunately, so many girls get 'badnaam' simply because they hangout with the opposite gender and people assume they must be having a relationship or affair. sad.