Re: Will you refuse a girl if…
So what are we arguing then for 
Btw my sentence which you highlighted was work colleagues, not friends.
Re: Will you refuse a girl if...............
You've misunderstood me entirely. I never said if someone is hitting someone in the face and being flirtatious means that should not be dealt with. That should be dealt with quickly and that person should be told to either cut it out or ignored.
What I meant was a normal woman and a normal man who during office hours having food together or their interaction is work related even if it s everyday. I don't see that being an issue, even if the person is smoking hot. If someone can keep it in their pants before marriage in similar situations then he can do so after marriage too.
oh ho, i wasn't talking about your post.. it was a little add-on to post 93.
but yes, in your other post you agreed with what ghost has been saying
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I don't disagree much on the work related topic, however my definition of 'compromising' is different to yours. I don't consider having lunches (not lunch but lunches) with an attractive person a compromising situation, if I am reading your posts correct you do. I do consider going out separately outside official hours with non-work related reasons potentially compromising yes.
As for friendships we have heard of people cheating with brother in laws or sister in laws. What then? Should we restrict their relationships too? And I don't get your boundaries statement, how do you mean? If you mean not messaging 24/7 or meeting 24/7 or putting such relationships above marriage then me and you are on the same page. If you mean not being emotionally dependent on someone else or going and having a cry on their shoulder when a guy should be doing that with his wife then me and you are on the same page as well. Otherwise I don't understand what you mean.
What I'm saying, and what that research has shown, is that the former (lunches at work etc) can often turn into what we're agreed on is inappropriate, an emotional connection with someone who is not your spouse.
Lunch with a coworker is not inherently harmful, but has the potential to turn into something harmful. That's what the book talks about, and that's what people deny. That the potential is there. If you disagree, fine, that's your opinion. It was mine too until I did some actual research on the topic.
As for other relationships, I think we're all agreed that violating those is wrong. What we disagree on, is that you, and many others, see lunches and platonic relationships as being risk free. They're not. I think the risk is worth it since many such relationships are immensely fulfilling, but ignoring the risk is just foolhardy.
Recognizing that something can be a potential threat is the first step to thwarting it.
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I think I posted this before - it was a remark by a friend of mine, and the horror - it was a married guy friend (yes, I do see the irony).
Fidelity and faithfulness are a choices a person makes and something each individual in a committed relationship works at each day of their lives. Temptations or not, lunches or not, proximity or not - remaining faithful or even remaining away from an inappropriate relationship with another person is a daily jihad-un-nafs. Sure, minimizing the temptation helps but the ultimate choice is the individuals and whether they give in to their base urges.
I know that most people have said pretty much the same thing I've said for the 3rd time above, albeit in slightly different words - I just want to reiterate (for the last time, because I'm bored on being repetitive)the personal responsibility and choice in these scenarios trumps everything else.
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Just to add, affairs are not often with people who are "smoking hot". It's more about the emotional bonds that form with people you spend a lot of time alone with. The manner of your discussions is important too. General rule of thumb: if you talk about stuff you wouldn't want your spouse discussing with someone else, or you say things you wouldn't say in front of your spouse, then it's a red flag. Otherwise it's usually fine. That's what I mean about boundaries.
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And no one cares about the guy with who she went out with. Poor guy with broken dreams.
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Circular Reference
Lmao......
Re: Will you refuse a girl if...............
Just to add, affairs are not often with people who are "smoking hot". It's more about the emotional bonds that form with people you spend a lot of time alone with. The manner of your discussions is important too. General rule of thumb: i*f you talk about stuff you wouldn't want your spouse discussing with someone else, or you say things you wouldn't say in front of your spouse, then it's a red flag. Otherwise it's usually fine. That's what I mean about boundaries.*
Absolutely agree here.
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I think the risk is worth it since many such relationships are immensely fulfilling, but ignoring the risk is just foolhardy.
I agree, I think your last post above, the bold bit I highlighted put it better than I wanted to.
Re: Will you refuse a girl if...............
Circular Reference
Lmao......
Better than your constant whining about:
a) ABCDS
b) Mods
c) Unfunny one-liners
No? For someone who hates GS you do seem to spend ages here, sup with that bud? You clearly don't like the people here. OCD?.
You used to be a decent guy and a decent poster once, don't know why you need to display the behavior that you do.
Re: Will you refuse a girl if...............
And then you women ***** about your spineless husbands who wouldn't stand up to their mothers and sisters for you
No, I don't. My in laws are wonderful MA but hubby would stick up for me if he needed to. Never underestimate a pathaan :D
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Nai nai S and S-jee. It's a matter of where you draw your boundaries. You've just said phone calls are stepping over the line for you - whereas others have argued that a casual phone call is okay. So, are YOU insecure about your relationship?
I draw the line at out-of-necessity interactions; be it lunches, phone calls, socialising after work. All that jazz. I don't deem it necessary to engage with one-on-one social interactions with members of the opposite sex unless you don't have a choice. If the guy can choose who he has lunch with - don't choose a girl. Simple.
Exactly. This is the practise adopted by myself and hubby and it works. No issues, no dramas and everyone is happy and comfortable.
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Better than your constant whining about:
a) ABCDS b) Mods c) Unfunny one-liners
No? For someone who hates GS you do seem to spend ages here, sup with that bud? You clearly don't like the people here. OCD?.
You used to be a decent guy and a decent poster once, don't know why you need to display the behavior that you do.
Kachhi main aag lag gai kya? Why do you get so pissed at anything i say? I am only stating the obvious.
Re: Will you refuse a girl if...............
Kachhi main aag lag gai kya? Why do you get so pissed at anything i say?
You looked at my kacchi? <3 As for being pissed I don't mate, and I don't really have any personal vendetta. This is a forum and you're someone behind the screen and a decent person in real life probably.
All I am saying is you are capable of very decent posts, ie in PA so why the constant cheekiness everytime in every thread when it comes to Life1 and any other forum?
The girl my brother got engaged to is my cuzn..and we know each and everything about her affairs and all even my brother knows about it..But that was her past..she was ready to get engaged to my brother and my brother even knows there is nothing wrong happening out there..so it doesn't bother us..and jahan tak baat dinner ki hai how narrow minded people replied here i m shocked :/ i don't personally feel that this is the reason to reject rishta if everything else is ok :) if my parents are not concerned about my cuznx past i don't feel it must bother others that a girl had a lunch..if they are colleagues and have no bad intention this is not at all wrong
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Am I missing something here... Lunch with a colleague is just that... right? You're sitting down, eating food, having a break, with a person who you work with, maybe you're discussing work issues while you eat, maybe you talk about what you watched on tv last night, maybe you just moan about your boss... but it's just lunch with a colleague right?
What I'm hearing here is if two male colleagues have lunch together then that's fine... likewise if two female colleagues have lunch together then that's fine too... but if a female colleague has lunch with a male colleague then that's so obviously a date and that girl is so obviously a slut who throws herself at men... which is why no decent man will ever want her for a wife because she's a slut!!
Does it work the other way too... if a guy has lunch with a female colleague, will all prospective rishtas reject him too? Or is that different because... oooh you know... he's a guy!
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Exactly, when the heck does anyone reject a guy because he's had lunch with females at work in a platonic fashion?
I've gotten lunch with guys from work all the time. You know why? Cuz I am hungry, the people I'm working with are hungry, and SO THAT I AM A NICE PERSON, I INVITE THEM TO BREAK BREAD WITH ME.
Oh wait, no no, I is a ho-bag, plz no marry me.
Re: Will you refuse a girl if…
and it starts again 
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Gender segregation is in Islam. If you're against it at least be upfront that you're against a part of religion. Don't hide behind culture.
I'm not religious, and I have no issue saying that gender segregation is outdated.
Not in this fashion. People communicated with each other back then and believe it or not, there was a time where men and women entered the mosque from the same entrance and sat with each other in a mixed gathering. FACT.
Re: Will you refuse a girl if…
Did you actually post a video from Utah?
Utah.
Really.
Utah?