Ghosty, my husband has spent the better part of the past year traveling extensively (Mexico, China & East Coast)with a gorgeous leggy red head from his department. They have been sharing rental cars, and pretty much having all meals together and never once has jealousy or insecurities entered my mind. We call her his work wife lol.
I agree that affairs usually start at tr workplace, but there has to be something lacking in the marriage to begin with for a spouse to even entertain the thought.
So you're certain that your husband is not attractive enough to have a fling with her?
Yes, that's what i was asking. I think most people would have an issue if it was a recurring thing with a specific colleague at a specific time.
That's basically the crux of it. People are mentioning group lunches or random occurrences when the real issue would only be if one colleague was the focus of their spouse's attention.
To answer the OP's question: I think most of us would think that it's a bit excessive to reject someone on the basis of them having lunch with someone of the opposite sex, but at the same time, you can make a religious argument for it so if someone is mindful of this then that's their choice. Going as far as to question the girl's (or guy's) character is too far though. Just accept the mismatch and move on.
^^ nnabid, i see your point and agree with you...that targetting one person and hanging out with just that person is wrong. BUT what if a person casually shouts everyday for lunch...and it becomes a office habit to have lunch gether. Few people go few days, and others go other days Thn what???
If you're not questioning the girl's intentions or morals, then why make it an issue if she has casual lunches occasionally with a colleague? That's just baffling to me.
Tell me women arent discerning about which of their male colleagues they'd have one-one lunches with.
Most of the guppans will refuse such a girl for their brothers... still women say men are narrow minded creatures.
All desis people have this mentality... wherever they see a guy and a girl... they are having an affair/illicit relations/loose character... blah blah.
When I was coming to Montreal, the Egyptian girl in my team arranged a farewell lunch for me and invited other teammates as well. She does it quite often to celebrate birthdays of teammates etc. Thankfully she is not desi, otherwise her future MIL or SIL will faint if they hear that she arranged farewell to na-mehram men and often had coffee with them in cafeteria.
Having lunch with office colleagues is not a big deal for me... I will consider other important issues during the rishta process, like her personality, mental compatibility with me and/or her future ambitions and how they relate to mine.
Ghosty, my husband has spent the better part of the past year traveling extensively (Mexico, China & East Coast)with a gorgeous leggy red head from his department. They have been sharing rental cars, and pretty much having all meals together and never once has jealousy or insecurities entered my mind. We call her his work wife lol.
I agree that affairs usually start at tr workplace, but there has to be something lacking in the marriage to begin with for a spouse to even entertain the thought.
So you're certain that your husband is not attractive enough to have a fling with her?
[/QUOTE]
Most of the guppans will refuse such a girl for their brothers... still women say men are narrow minded creatures.
All desis people have this mentality... wherever they see a guy and a girl... they are having an affair/illicit relations/loose character... blah blah.
When I was coming to Montreal, the Egyptian girl in my team arranged a farewell lunch for me and invited other teammates as well. She does it quite often to celebrate birthdays of teammates etc. Thankfully she is not desi, otherwise her future MIL or SIL will faint if they hear that she arranged farewell to na-mehram men and often had coffee with them in cafeteria.
Having lunch with office colleagues is not a big deal for me... I will consider other important issues during the rishta process, like her personality, mental compatibility with me and/or her future ambitions and how they relate to mine.
why are you generalising when people/desis in this thread have refuted the idea of judging someone to be immoral or of "loose" character if they are having a lunch? seeing a guy and girl.. in what context?
Okay so I’ve male friends and my husband has female friends. My parents have never objected, I do come from a fairly religious family and I do think I’m religious - but still I guess not religious enough since I don’t think there’s anything wrong in having a friend of the opposite sex. And to be honest, I don’t really care what anyone thinks. If a rishta came for me and they thought I was “advanced” because I’ve male friends, I would be more than happy with rejection. I don’t want to share my life with someone who thinks mingling with the opposite sex is “advanced”
Well, he doesn't have to be hideous. Even if he's average-alright looking it'd still be more or less impossible for him to have a fling at workplace
Flings / casual affairs with women at workplace are not every guys cup of tea. Let alone with gorgeous leggy ones. Just letting you know that its different for men. Perhaps the open mindedness and 'calm' of some of the wives can be attributed to this knowledge.
A lot of it would fall down to trust. If a person cannot trust his/her spouse enough that little lunches may cause him/her discomfort then maybe there is a problem there or maybe that's how they roll in which case they are entitled to think the way they do. Everyone has specific requirements for rishtas.
However PERSONALLY I'd find it odd to reject someone, esp a potential rishta where the person works, in a multi-gendered workplace interactions like these are bound to happen. Like Ess Emm and a couple of people have said, if someone has an issue they should be blunt and ask about it instead of questioning someone's entire character.
Someone wants to reject me because I have lunches with male co-workers? Good riddance. I guess also traveling for business trips with your male colleagues would be considered immoral here as well considering you sometimes end up spending breakfast, lunch and dinner together with your teams be it all male or both at times.
Thank goodness for my hubby. This subject has never even come to light in our home because its a nonissue.
