Will They Ever Trust Her Again?

Lifestyle Relationships
41

Re: Will They Ever Trust Her Again?

Sex is a total instinct - that's something many of you are forgetting. So the fact that she is venting out her internal desires is not suprising.

If she doesn't tell her parents, its going to affect their trust relationship. So I would advise her to come clean with them.

Another option is - and I honestly think its the best - and no one has mentioned it yet - that after coming clean to her parents, her mother (the father should stay out of this, really, if it makes the daughter uncomfy) has to have a talk with her regarding sex. They need to tell her its okay to have these feelings, and as a muslim there are ways to control these feelings if one is not able to get married.

This involves getting more involved in religion, namaz, etc. And the practice of self-control - which is just a habit that one needs to form on their own. Her parents can facilitate that.

The problem is that desi parents aren't able to do that for the most part - they just would rather say "don't do it - its haraam" and be done with it.

I'm amazed though. If this was a guy - I think some of the responses would be different.

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Re: Will They Ever Trust Her Again?

its not ok ..its haram ..its yukh ..if she was my daughter i would have killed her :hoonh: :jotta:

Canniii
43

Re: Will They Ever Trust Her Again?

easier said then done.

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Re: Will They Ever Trust Her Again?

Most of you've stated some strong points there.

What freaks me out is that her dad probably watched everything she watched. I can only imagine how his behavior would be if she came clean. She will never be HIS little girl again. Besides, I really don't think she has enough guts to tell her parents the truth (keeping in mind that her DAD actually has seen everything. It would have been okay if he only knew but didn't watch). I don't know how to make her forget about it. I am no more concerned about her lying to her parents, what bothers me is that she's started to think low of herself. She doesn't speak of it but something tells me that's what's happening to her. It's killing her inside, even though it's really not that big of a deal.

Congrats Kamran......(merged)
Congrats Kamran......(merged)
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Re: Will They Ever Trust Her Again?

Poor kiddo - she has to be stronger than that. I swear, our society.

If she was a guy, we wouldn't be having this discussion.

Darwin: Man or monkey!!!
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Re: Will They Ever Trust Her Again?

whats the deal with nilu? she always confuses me,
some of her posts are written in perfect english… others are far from being perfect… :confused:

~Independence Day ~
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Re: Will They Ever Trust Her Again?

Well Miss_Noland
I was just reading your post when my friend came in to visit and he also read it as well. My Friend told me an interesting story that is in some sense similar to the one you have here.
I will come to the story in a later post but right now, in your case the girl’s father just discovered that she had access to some porn and he became angry on her. The girl lied to her father about the porn. Now having some porn is not as bad as making a theft. I have seen and heard of parents just forgiving their kids who have made a theft or even committed a murder. So the girl’s parents will forget about this incident in a matter of days. So the girl must get this thing out of her mind and start living a normal life once again. She can make sorry to her mom and dad as well if she can do so, otherwise nothing to be worried about.

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Re: Will They Ever Trust Her Again?

they wont trust themselves dat whether they wud trust her

49

Re: Will They Ever Trust Her Again?

.

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Re: Will They Ever Trust Her Again?

^^ Here is the Story:

LIFE IN A BIG CITY

[15 years back]
Dilhara (of course not a real name) was living a happy life with his parents in a big city. Dilhara was the only kid his parents had, so he got full love and attention from them. From his very early youth Dilhara was interested in discovering his body and the purpose of each part. Since net was not common those days in even big cities of Pakistan so Dilhara started to watch porn for passing his spare time. He used to rent out a video every day. After watching the Porn in night he used to keep the video safely in a rarely used cabinet in TV lounge. The next day when he was coming back from school, he was used to eat some food, take some rest, replace the porn and watch it that night. Days were passing away pleasantly.

On one nice evening when Dilhara was going to replace the movie, he discovered that it is not present in the cabinet. Dilhara was scared by two facts; first his parents might have discovered the porn, and second and most important fact he may have to pay the film price to the rental. Dilhara was having limited pocket money those days and it may have taken weeks for him to collect the price of the movie.

Dilhara never had faced a situation as worst as this. He was too much scared. In early night when he went to kitchen, he saw his father placing the movie back to cabinet. Dilhara took the movie, replaced it through rental, watched the porn to feel relaxed and put it back to cabinet, in case his father might ask him if he don’t find it there.

[For next 5 years]
Dilhara made changes in his timings so that neither he nor his father faces much difficulty. For next 5 years, he was repeating the same process. He was renting a movie, watching the porn in night, and then placing it in the cabinet, then his father was used to watch the same movie in the evening and then Dilhara had to get a new one for the next day. Life was once again passing on well for Dilhara.

[After 5 years]
Dilhara was married to a caring and loving girl. He left watching porn but he continued renting one every day for his father, just to keep his side safe. Otherwise his father might still have asked him that there was a movie in the cabinet.

[2005]
Dilhara is still spending a happy married life. His wife still loves and cares him. He has got 3 kids (2 more than his father). He has never watched porn for last 10 years. But he is still renting out one each day just to keep things calm and pleasant among him and his father. However Dilhara had made separate lockable cabinets for his kids, so at some stage they might not face some similar situation….

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Re: Will They Ever Trust Her Again?

er is that a true story?

Like I said, nothing wrong with porn. Here's another story of my own.

In going thru some old things that we had in the garage, I came across a porn video in the middle of my father's stack of old college books (well more like pile, rather than a stack).

Imagine my reaction as a female...

And as a daughter...

He had asked me to throw away the books or donate them to the library, since they're very much outdated. So I got rid of the porn video along with the books.

shrugs

52

Re: Will They Ever Trust Her Again?

Baap khud bhi mazaa leh raha hai porn dekh ke. LOL and that for 10 yrs or something LOL

53

Re: Will They Ever Trust Her Again?

What is porn?

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Re: Will They Ever Trust Her Again?

pop-corn

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Re: Will They Ever Trust Her Again?

Porn is something, very easy to understand and difficult to define. Each person, group and society have its own ideology about porn, but following will definitely help you know.

Porn is the stuff that makes up life. Comes in many different forms and is everywhere you look. You might perhaps be reading this message in search of some sort of porn too.

For its admirer, porn is the greatest thing since man was put on earth. Such people just can’t live without it. They need one before breakfast, one after they reach office, when they come back,…(Every time, in short)

Now, amongst students in many countries a porn is also the tradational way for young female (mostly Americans or Western) to afford university education (those not from wealthy families).

If you have a PC then porn is the reason you need a new hard drive. Porn is at least as important as a PC itself. Porn can only be removed when some new and more awesome stuff is discovered.

Sometimes, porn is the cure to a single person(s) depression, if found after hours of search on the Internet.

For relegious leader, porn is just eveil.

A porn is simply something that all humans with no other interests can share.

You can find many of these and yet many more at: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=porn&r=d

[Quote=Umer]

If you think I am stupid to have written this message, or you feel emotional after reading it, then cool down, get a porn and relax. I am stupid some time.
[/Quote]

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Re: Will They Ever Trust Her Again?

What kind of sick BS is this??

57

Re: Will They Ever Trust Her Again?

lol, umer, my friend, you DO have a sense of humor :D

58

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.

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Re: Will They Ever Trust Her Again?

A girl masturbating and damn everybody is going sparky...why is this such a big deal? just shows most of you live in a society where orgasms are still not acceptable - get a grip!!

I feel sorry for the gal - she should have been more careful not to get caught
father (a typical desi male probably) - he can say whatever he feels like but I dont think anything he says will make a difference - sexual urges just cant be bottled up and shoven under the carpet(our desi society is good at doing that). Sex is something which is shirked upon done something only done in deep dark corners of our houses - hence so many people are so freakin bad at it. Just by having moral drilling and saying 'dont do it' dosent cut it - alas parents have no idea how to deal with it.

I masturbated to internet porn for the longest time - I dont anymore and I had to go to absolute mental hell to give it up -- probably the hardest thing I had to do. I would advise that if even remotely possible try to give up masterbation/porn - it will only help. Porn made me miserable, totally helpless, wasted time, made me physically weak, guilty and other self inflicting crap which I can do without - its a pathetic state when you are driven around by your penis. Countless guys I know who are suffering in their marriages because of masterbation/porn - guys watch out dont take this lightly- 5 secs of gratification aint worth what you might have with a real 3D woman :)

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Re: Will They Ever Trust Her Again?

You are right.

I was never going to post it any where, but my friend insisted that it is a true story and must be put on the forum. Still I was not interested but then I had to give up, since I am usually not able to talk with people on same things again and again and my friend was not giving up as well. Life is just compromise.