A good friend of mine told me the most shocking story, which I could never expect from her at least. Her Dad found out that she had been watching porno all these days he wasn’t home. Her dad didn’t react to the situation too violently, he actually handled it pretty well. Here’s the irony though, she refused to admit that she watched any of the videos saved on her computer, which her dad stumbled across. Her dad told her mom about this and she confronted her but she lied to her that it wasn’t her fault and it “somehow” happened. Her dad knows she is lying and she has probably shattered his trust, her innocence, and her image… (which is not what it is to him now. She is a much respected character, though this act by all means was out of character.)
I talked her through the situation and she admitted that she was guilty. She said she lied to her parents, because she knows once she admits it, she will lose their trust forever. Even I was confused. I thought she might have done the right thing (considering she has sisters of opposite nature-- they are sort of naive and different than her). I have known her since childhood and she is not the kind of girl who would ever do such a thing. If she confessed, the relationship with her parents won’t be the same -ever again. Should she stay shut or spill the truth? The situation has calmed down but it’s bothering her and she can’t help cursing and criticizing herself for what she did.
P.S. She is around twenty and she was raised in america. I need your suggestions and opinions.
oh my God… ITNA BARRA pahar tor diya. oh my God, the girl definitely needs all the stress and the blame she is getting. she should be cursed to death for comitting SUCH A BIG SIN
Miss_Noland, all of us are pure angels on earth, arent we? We all would be better able to decide what her fate should be now after this totally “out of character” act of hers.
Theres no point stressing over it, she should just try forget about it. For the immediate future you should continue to support her and divert her attention elsewhere. Time is a good healer and the situation will eventually fade away as always is the case. Its just one of life’s many hurdles.
As long as she doesn’t act upon what she watched by giving into temptation and fornicating, everything should be fine
Its okay for girls to be just as curious just as boys. Ok so she dled porn :big whoop: .. its understandable that its hard for parents to see their children growing up, and her parents came face to face with it witnessing her dauhgter is more than a daughter.. shes a woman, a curious one at that. :).. They'll forgive her.. right now they're also worried about her influence rubbin on her sibs so they might be a bit cautious around her when shes around them and it may make her think they havnt forgiven her nor do they trust her.
There is nothing wrong with watching porn, especially given that she's entering her 20's. She is, probably if anything, pining for some sexual attention and interaction. She's not married, so this is her substitute. Her father should not have spoken to her about it in the first place - he should have just let it go. She's a woman now, and that's her personal choice.
If he wants to interfere so much and make things better, he ought to bring up the subject of marriage. And maybe even introduce her to some good lads.
What's happened has happened. She needs to ask herself first if she thinks what she did was bad or just natural. If its bad, then just come out and fess up about it, and also ask her parents to mind their own business from this point on.
If she feels there is nothing wrong with it, then encourage her to stand her ground and let them know.
Her parents should be relieved that she's taking out her sexual frustrations in this manner, rather than screwing guys around her (which is what many Pakistani girls do, in fact).
Why did her dad tell her mom in the first place? If he did, why did the mom confront her? I don't think our grownups are all that innocent. People learn about stuff one way or another.
Given that its a form of sin, she doesn't have to go advertising and talking about it. It should be left between Allah (SWT) and her.
I agree with PCG, she is right. There is nothing wrong with watching porn at this age as long as its tasteful. It might actually be educational. The dad is a retard for acting the way he did. He should have been more understanding. Its only natural to be curious. Most people do enjoy pornography on regular basis. Actually, i rather respect the women that enjoy porn, to me it shows a willingness to explore. Its all good. God bless.
She ain't ten years old, the parents shudn't be shocked that she's watching porn. Yes, it's a sin, but its between her and Allah swt, noone else. Tehnically, parents dont evne hav the right to know if their daughters having sex, bcoz whenur obviously sinning, u dont go arond advertising it.
yaar u guys forget its desi parents! poor girl, as they say, if u stuff up, dont get caught! my advice, becareful next time i can only imagine what my mum wouldv done if they ever caught ME! :shudder: but yes i agree with PCG on this one. Its natural, poeple get curious… noe ones perfect… i,m sure the parents have done things they would want people to know too. just tell her to act normal… she can even shut them up, if confronted, by telling them everyone makes mistakes and she admits what she did wasnt good, she,ll be extra careful next time when shes watching it
Its a sad situation.. the parents are hurt, she is embarrassed. Neither parities know what to do but the parents need to understand and realize that she is growing up and wanting to know things, exprerience them. They really can't blame her for what she was doing bascially because in the kind of world we live today, sex is advertised so much that young ppl are just very curious... as much as they probably want they can't protect her always. I think the best thing for both parents and her to do is just let it go.. Although maybe she can say "i'm sorry" to her mother...its probably harder to confront her father.
i'm shocked to see how some o us are saying parents are wrong if they have objections,.....!!!
yes, i agree not everyone should jump at her telling whats right n whats wrong ....but at least parents do have a right .....aren't we religiously supposed to encourage good deeds n forbid evikl ...(amr bil ma'roof wa nahee anil munkar)
in my view , thats the root of all the evils in society .....!!
tell me , if your child is playing with a knife .....how will you react ....should you leave it in her hands coz she's free to decide ....???
i know many of you will say the girl in question is not a child anymore ......true ....but if a 30 yrs old is going to commit suicide ....his parents will never let it happen ....no matter how old a child is ....for them he's still their child.....they can't ignore it saying 'its his'her private matter we shouldn't interfere...'
watching porn is a major sin ....no doubt about that .....so why her parents shouldn't have any objection while she's heading straight to hell....???
btw, ^ this was intended for muslim members ....assuming the girl in question is muslim.......i'm not aware of any rulings/ opinions of other faiths ....
plus....my post is not intended to be offensive .....so please don't take it to heart ......i just said what i thought .....as a part of discussion...!!
I agree with afia.. her parents did the correct thing.. but i think if they talk to her a little more about the topic and get to knw what's bothering her then it will be great.. its their daughter.. they need to find out how they can save her from doing it again.. and help her with whatever problem she is having..
remember, in our desi culture talking about sex is considered bad which leads to such behaviour.. we are all humans and as humans around age 20 we do get this intense urge that needs to be controlled and looked after.. that is why i am in favour of getting married early (if possible) saves from alot of sins (just my opinion)
First of all it's wrong of you to say someone is going straight ot hell. I'm sur eyou know, nobody has the right to judge that. True it's a sin, but in such cases, it's the lesser of the evils. And okay ur right, parents do have the right to object, but at that age she should know right and wrong anyway.
sarah....i never said....she's going to hell ...i don't know what will happen to me ....
i said 'heading' .....all sins just lead to hell ....unless forgiven by the Almighty....
yes, you n i must wait for the day of judgement so her fate is decided n ours too ....but her parents have a right to raise an eyebrow right now........!!
i can only imagine what my mum wouldv done if they ever caught ME! :shudder: but yes i agree with PCG on this one. Its natural, poeple get curious… noe ones perfect… i,m sure the parents have done things they would want people to know too. just tell her to act normal… she can even shut them up, if confronted, by telling them everyone makes mistakes and she admits what she did wasnt good, she,ll be extra careful next time when shes watching it 
