Wife's Earnings

[Entisar]

I wouldn't look at the wifes earning at all. I would rather die of shame than to fall that low. Life without honour is nothing. Maybe I am just old fashioned.

Man , If your Fashion is OLD............. I am sure SURE IT is Gold

[FairyTale]

Re: Wife's Earnings

^^ @ CB Exactly thats why i said that its too late to cry out loud. We have brought it on ourselves now we ll have to deal with it.

[Entisar]

@NaMaan

“If your father is poor than its your fate … But if your father-in-law is poor than its your stupidity” …

Marriage is a contract. Contracts are based on rationality. Rationality tell us to do cost benefit analysis. If women can do it than why can’t men. Its time for equality. If women think they can’t be money making machines than why men needs to be one. Good old days are gone. Now its pay back time. Nothing is for free.

Sorry , I am taking the Thread Back , But instead reading the initial replies.

@Namaan
Right , that this contract should be made wisely with through benifit analysis , but benifites should not be only Money(salary of girl).

Keep aside the Thinking Word “think” , in if women think , it could also be said , If men think.
Secondly , I think they are already paying much , just see Cost of Breast Milk a Mother is giving to their Babies , Men can bring from no where in the Universe.

[NaMaan]

@Entisar

Sorry , I am taking the Thread Back , But instead reading the initial replies.

@Namaan Right , that this contract should be made wisely with through benifit analysis , but benifites should not be only Money(salary of girl).

Keep aside the Thinking Word "think" , in if women think , it could also be said , If men think. Secondly , I think they are already paying much , just see Cost of Breast Milk a Mother is giving to their Babies , Men can bring from no where in the Universe.

I was trying to act as a devils advocate here, but its a fact that our ever stagnant society is changing. The equality women demanded is now here but with few consequences. Doesn't matter how hard you cry 'I am old fashioned' because people have already started manipulating your just desire for their own selfishness.

Now whats the solution?
- Educated women have to be really wise while choosing life partner as chances of being used are higher than ever before.
- Family protocol and roles decided by men, now should be decided by mutual agreement of both.
- Open dialog between both parties to discuss financial conditions and how they can work as a team to improve it.

We can always add more to this list. But point is that world has moved on, so we better rearrange our priorities rather than crying over spilt milk.

[snowy_winter]

@Chicken_Biryani

Sometimes I wonder if women have brought it upon themselves .. society and religion told us both genders are equal but have different roles …Men provide financial and general security to the family and the wife looks after the home and the kids ..

But us ladies started a war on equality , where WE chose the equality measurement and believed that WE work and earn just like them men. In return we expected Men to do the house hold chores …

We ignored that perhaps we are going against the basic nature of men and women by expecting each other to take on the opposite roles .. a man will never nurture a kid like a woman will , nor will he want to make a house a home the same way as a woman will … similarly there is a limitation of stress a woman can take at work or else her health suffers .. She cannot provide physical security to her family just as a man can.

Now , amidst this confusing identity crisis of men and women , some women went astray in looking for materialistic elements in a man for marriage , expecting him to be earning a high salary, handsome as a prince , provide her security yet help her around with the home making and cook and do all the girly jobs as well … they are looking for perfection in a man wanting him to be hard and soft at the same time.

Similarly a certain group of men have evolved into materialistic beings , wanting their women to work for money, because it is impossible to run a household on a single salary … an excuse much used these days … they expect women to work AND look after the home and still not get tired … the same , expecting them to be hard and soft at the same time.

Who is to blame? Just men ? or Just women? .. I think we all have a hand in it … societies are made by individuals and our preferences of how we live our life … We have shaped out society over the years to create more of confused genders … and now we are complaining about it:smack: ..Simple realization is that no one is perfect , no one can be soft and hard at the same time.

Love your analysis and couldn’t agree more !!

[Lafanter]

Re: Wife’s Earnings

lo, ker lo gal

na idher khush, na udher

there are threads on: ohh he is not letting me work, ohh my inlaws to be dont want me to work and bla bla bla women rights and women are equal bla bla

and now this thread:

PS: zara check kero main ktna farigh hoon aj kal, kin kin forums p bongian marta phirta hoon

[Lafanter]

@Chicken_Biryani

Sometimes I wonder if women have brought it upon themselves .. society and religion told us both genders are equal but have different roles …Men provide financial and general security to the family and the wife looks after the home and the kids ..

But us ladies started a war on equality , where WE chose the equality measurement and believed that WE work and earn just like them men. In return we expected Men to do the house hold chores …

We ignored that perhaps we are going against the basic nature of men and women by expecting each other to take on the opposite roles .. a man will never nurture a kid like a woman will , nor will he want to make a house a home the same way as a woman will … similarly there is a limitation of stress a woman can take at work or else her health suffers .. She cannot provide physical security to her family just as a man can.

Now , amidst this confusing identity crisis of men and women , some women went astray in looking for materialistic elements in a man for marriage , expecting him to be earning a high salary, handsome as a prince , provide her security yet help her around with the home making and cook and do all the girly jobs as well … they are looking for perfection in a man wanting him to be hard and soft at the same time.

Similarly a certain group of men have evolved into materialistic beings , wanting their women to work for money, because it is impossible to run a household on a single salary … an excuse much used these days … they expect women to work AND look after the home and still not get tired … the same , expecting them to be hard and soft at the same time.

Who is to blame? Just men ? or Just women? .. I think we all have a hand in it … societies are made by individuals and our preferences of how we live our life … We have shaped out society over the years to create more of confused genders … and now we are complaining about it:smack: ..Simple realization is that no one is perfect , no one can be soft and hard at the same time.

ditto!

[Lafanter]

@kakaballi

Bash the guys who don’t want their wife to work.
Bash the guys who want their wife to work.

Bash the guys… anyways.

@Hashmat Usmani

**
in islam, sons get better share of the inheritence coz of this fact that Allah made man responsible for sustennance [qawwaam] so whatever she makes is her money and hers only, husband/in-laws/out-laws got not right over her money but again if she chooses she can spend any or all on whatever she desires to spend on. so the bottom line is if the money is not urs to begin with then its none of the perspective husband’s business to inquire about the wud-be wife’s earnings.

yehi Haal hai mahr kaa. laakhoN karoRoN kii mahr tai kii jaatii hai jab k sab ko pataa hotaa hai k kise denaa hai HaalaaN k islam meN mubaashirats e pahle Haqq e mahr adaa karnaa farz hai. again, like we find loop holes with worldly laws, we find one with God’s laws as well…we fool ourselves by saying “maaf kar degii” [deferred payment] what a sham…husbands are becoming more like a scam artists these days. i am ashamed of my own gender.

on the lighter side, women are called sinf-e-naazuk [deliacte gender] but out of our greed we’ve turned them into a sinf-e-saKht [hard gender] and make them work harder than we wud, as men, ever work what a pity state of affair that we call stay-home-wives as lazies…i know how hard it is to run the house-hold coz i have done it. i KNOW it all, inside out!**

@snowy_winter

There we go again.
ditto

Case 1: Guy wants a HouseWife and Not a working woman

He is labelled controlling, backwards, sexist and all that because he cannot “swallow” the fact that his woman is earning. Then there’s always the argument that the girl should be independant bla bla bla so she HAS to be a working woman.

**Case 2: Guy wants a Working Woman **

The guy is automatically labelled as being greedy because he wants a money-making machine.

You can’t have it both ways. So pick one argument and then stick to it.

lol, exactly

---

wow ppl talk too much, cannot quote every one :hinna:

[Sheroz]

Re: Wife's Earnings

I want my wife to stay at home and do whatever she wants to do. Go out shopping, meet friends, family members, chill out etc. Dont really care.

The last thing i expect from my wife is money. I dont really want a "working wife". I mean when you are getting everything you need, then why do you have to work? Volunteer work (without pay) i.e. working for a charity, community is fine but working to "earn" money is not something i want my wife to do.

[PyariCgudia]

Re: Wife's Earnings

What if she likes the career. Not everyone works because of money, but many work because of the excitement the work brings.

Whatever, why do I spend time trying to illustrate elementary concepts to a people still living in the Stone Age.

[snowy_winter]

Re: Wife's Earnings

^ you can work all you want and then some. But refrain from judging other people who don't think its a great idea for a wife to work.

[samb]

Re: Wife's Earnings

I don't see what's wrong with expecting the woman to work... life is a lot more comfortable with two salaries than one salary. if that is materialistic, then so be it. the concept isn't to snatch the woman's pay check as soon as it comes in, it is to contribute to the family's savings/well being. it makes so much economic sense for both husband and wife to work. the families where both husband and wife work get ahead so much faster. financial goals are easier to reach. and if it is true that money doesn't buy happiness, then lack of money sure as hell does not buy happiness.

also, I can't see how any educated girl in this day and age wouldn't want to work. any normal girl should be bored out of her mind staying at home and not working. when you go to work, you don't just to work, you learn a lot about people, the world and how it works. every person should have that kind of exposure and experience - good and bad. going into the workforce is an education in itself that university, etc can't provide.

lastly, there's nothing wrong with expecting a certain level of education from the girl. if the guy is educated and has a respectable degree or two, then he has every right to expect the same of his partner.

[snowy_winter]

Re: Wife's Earnings

^ Well, its YOUR opinion that EVERY girl should work and that EVERY girl who is a home maker and who contributes by the good upbringing of her children is wasting her life. I strongly disagree to that and I think the best use the girl can make of her education is to become a decent human being and then use this knowledge in making her home a heaven and great upbringing of her children.

Considering education as a tool for making money is quite backwards to say the least. Yes, job can sometimes be an option, but considering education as only means to an end is quite a turn-off in my opinion.

[samb]

^ Well, its YOUR opinion that EVERY girl should work and that EVERY girl who is a home maker and who contributes by the good upbringing of her children is wasting her life. I strongly disagree to that and I think the best use the girl can make of her education is to become a decent human being and then use this knowledge in making her home a heaven and great upbringing of her children.

Considering education as a tool for making money is quite backwards to say the least. Yes, job can sometimes be an option, but considering education as only means to an end is quite a turn-off in my opinion.

I haven't said either one of those things.

kids can have a good upbringing even if the mother is working. kids need full-time attention when they're really young but as they start going to school, then I don't see the point of women staying home. parents can work things out so that one of them reaches home at the same time as the kids.

we get educated for many reasons - education for the sake of knowledge and education, social status, upward mobility, etc. but a good career/financial security are of course, some of the primary reasons for getting an education. don't see what's wrong with that either...

[snowy_winter]

I don't see what's wrong with expecting the woman to work... life is a lot more comfortable with two salaries than one salary. if that is materialistic, then so be it. the concept isn't to snatch the woman's pay check as soon as it comes in, it is to contribute to the family's savings/well being. it makes so much economic sense for both husband and wife to work. the families where both husband and wife work get ahead so much faster. financial goals are easier to reach. and if it is true that money doesn't buy happiness, then lack of money sure as hell does not buy happiness.

also, I can't see how any educated girl in this day and age wouldn't want to work. any normal girl should be bored out of her mind staying at home and not working. when you go to work, you don't just to work, you learn a lot about people, the world and how it works. every person should have that kind of exposure and experience - good and bad. going into the workforce is an education in itself that university, etc can't provide.

lastly, there's nothing wrong with expecting a certain level of education from the girl. if the guy is educated and has a respectable degree or two, then he has every right to expect the same of his partner.

Well, I don't see any two meanings of that statement. Khair, If you think that there is nothing wrong with stay-home moms then theres no discussion. If not then I think we can have a long and interesting discussion.

[samb]

Well, I don't see any two meanings of that statement. Khair, If you think that there is nothing wrong with stay-home moms then theres no discussion. If not then I think we can have a long and interesting discussion.

actually, you're right - I do think that there is something wrong with stay at home mothers or maybe I just want a "long, interesting debate" as you put it. I guess that's the beautiful thing about being able to write things out. you can word things such that you can find wiggle room for yourself diplomatically if need be.

I can understand stay at home moms in the early years of the kids. but after they start school and get past the kindergarten phase, I don't see why women stay at home. if I were an educated woman, I'd know I'd hate staying at home. don't know how women in our society put up with this nonsense of devoting yourself to raising kids and making a home. there's more to life than just popping out babies and raising them...

[snowy_winter]

Re: Wife's Earnings

^ Lolz..... a wannabe man .... compromise on giving proper time to kids/husband just for a couple of bucks!!!

I do hope that you stick up with your view of how disgusting it is to give birth to and raise children.

[samb]

I doubt that after a 9-6 routine, a women can find much time for giving ANY attention to kids or the husband. I think women who stay home and contribute by giving proper time to their kids and husband are making a far bigger contribution than the ones who compromise this stuff and for what..... a couple of bucks!!

Moreover, your tone is quite derogatory towards stay-at-home moms. From your tone, I somehow get the impression of those wannabee tight-clothes-wearing/unnecessarily-mingling-with-men/high-headed/job-obsessed women ... who think they are holier than thou.

There's more to life than working like a meaningless tool for a business to earn a couple of bucks !! and since popping out babies and raising them is such a disgusting thing for you, I doubt if you will still stick to what you say and not do the same.

lol... I could be wrong but I think that you think that I'm female... dude, I'm a guy... so, I don't see anything wrong with mingling with men... though wearing tight clothes is a big no-no for moi... I'm not gay after all...

if in life making money is worthless, having kids is just as meaningless.. life as a whole is meaningless. we assign meaning to it. the women in Pakistan who have countless babies year after year when the husband and wife have barely enough to support themselves... you're telling me there is some deep sense of meaning in their lives?

the 9-6, being tired afterward and incapable of doing much afterward is a valid point though... but I guess we'll cross that bridge when we get there...

[PyariCgudia]

Re: Wife's Earnings

samb you are a true gentlemen. Good for you. Silly insecure people want their wives to sit at home, so they don't feel overshadowed - that's what it comes down to.

[snowy_winter]

Re: Wife's Earnings

@All Women. No offence, my last post was specifically meant for this guy :)

@samb you're not making much sense... so I guess I ain't gonna respond.