***Why is it that , that seems to play a critical role in the rishta market these days ? ***
Its like they are looking for a money-making machine not a wife …except of course they want her to be all things “wifely” as well !
For Guys : How does a girl’s earnings affect your decision to propose !
For Girls : How do you feel being percieved as nothing but a bank balance ? something to increase their “personal wealth” !
Re: Wife's Earnings
I have never heard of this senario before.. my parents never once mentioned this to my future-wife and I have never emphasized on her working.. rather I want her to be active, in any cause or job that is her passion.
Re: Wife's Earnings
Paging Pak-one urf PashtunWarrior.
Re: Wife’s Earnings
For me it’s not important at all.
Re: Wife's Earnings
hmm .. never heard of people looking for a money making wife.. being educated and career oriented is something else. I being a girl would not like to be percieved as a 'money making machine', i persoanlly feel its a mans domain although its upto the girl if she wants to earn money based on her will or family needs.
I have never heard of this senario before.. my parents never once mentioned this to my future-wife and I have never emphasized on her working.. rather I want her to be active, in any cause or job that is her passion.
hmm .. never heard of people looking for a money making wife.. being educated and career oriented is something else. I being a girl would not like to be percieved as a 'money making machine', i persoanlly feel its a mans domain although its upto the girl if she wants to earn money based on her will or family needs.
I'm surprised You haven't heard of it........Do you not think it strange a person looks for a wife with certain educational qualifications and undermines other educational qualifications !
So you want your wife to stay at home ?
Re: Wife's Earnings
I think it's good a guy wants his wife to be financially independent.
It would be her decision, if she wants to be a housewife then sure why not. and if she wants to work then I don’t have any problem either, as long as there is a balance between professional and domestic life.
Re: Wife's Earnings
i think any financial consideration in choosing a wife is low way thinking...i wud rather leave to my wife to decide what she wud wanna do...stay home or build her carier or both. i prefer stay home wife for kids' sake :) alHamdolillah, i make enuf money so she can afford to stay home if she chooses to :)
I'm surprised You haven't heard of it........Do you not think it strange a person looks for a wife with certain educational qualifications and undermines other educational qualifications !
just like girls look for men with certain educational qualifications.. its a bitter experience to be on the other side of the stick..
but it might be just used as a compatibility score.. remember, nothing wrong in looking for a girl with certain qualities and educational background that might help them understand each other's professional life and stress.
Re: Wife's Earnings
I don't even think salary matters are discussed at rishta process. I have **NEVER **heard of anyone asking for the gal's salary.
Re: Wife's Earnings
Bash the guys who don't want their wife to work.
Bash the guys who want their wife to work.
Bash the guys.... anyways.
Hashmat very nicely put.
I do agree with sheyn, recently a friend experienced this shock , a family visited her and one of the questions was how much she earns 
I mean is this a new trend coming up? why are you concerned with how much the girl is earning , its a man’s responsiblity to look after the fianancial requirements of the couple and their kids. Some people , just freak me out
Even if a wife decides to have a career after the wedding , she can help the husband , which is fine … but it all sounds wrong when the rishta family comes through the door asking how much the girl earns ..
Re: Wife's Earnings
I have heard of this in my social circle also.
Lots of men are looking for doctors, dentists, engineers, lawyers because they want to be rich.
I know an insurance agent who married a doctor saying he had too much debt and she was going to help pay it off...true story.
**
in islam, sons get better share of the inheritence coz of this fact that Allah made man responsible for sustennance [qawwaam] so whatever she makes is her money and hers only, husband/in-laws/out-laws got not right over her money but again if she chooses she can spend any or all on whatever she desires to spend on. so the bottom line is if the money is not urs to begin with then its none of the perspective husband’s business to inquire about the wud-be wife’s earnings.
yehi Haal hai mahr kaa. laakhoN karoRoN kii mahr tai kii jaatii hai jab k sab ko pataa hotaa hai k kise denaa hai HaalaaN k islam meN mubaashirats e pahle Haqq e mahr adaa karnaa farz hai. again, like we find loop holes with worldly laws, we find one with God’s laws as well…we fool ourselves by saying “maaf kar degii” [deferred payment] what a sham…husbands are becoming more like a scam artists these days. i am ashamed of my own gender.
on the lighter side, women are called sinf-e-naazuk [deliacte gender] but out of our greed we’ve turned them into a sinf-e-saKht [hard gender] and make them work harder than we wud, as men, ever work what a pity state of affair that we call stay-home-wives as lazies…i know how hard it is to run the house-hold coz i have done it. i KNOW it all, inside out!**
Re: Wife's Earnings
Hashmat thats a very good insight , thanks so much.
Hashmat thats a very good insight , thanks so much.
**
thank you CB...it was my heart talkin so its none of my doing ... lol
i like ur nick. kia chaTpaTii nick hai masha Allah. maiN ne Biryani par ek mazaaHiya she'r likhaa thaa...'arz kiyaa hai k:
tum apne Hisse kii thoRii sii biryaanii mujhe de do
haDDiyaaN le lo tum, boTii, dilbar_jaanii!, mujhe de do!!! :)**
I have heard of this in my social circle also.
Lots of men are looking for doctors, dentists, engineers, lawyers because they want to be rich.
I know an insurance agent who married a doctor saying he had too much debt and she was going to help pay it off...true story.
There we go again.
Case 1: Guy wants a HouseWife and Not a working woman
He is labelled controlling, backwards, sexist and all that because he cannot "swallow" the fact that his woman is earning. Then there's always the argument that the girl should be independant bla bla bla so she HAS to be a working woman.
*Case 2: Guy wants a Working Woman *
The guy is automatically labelled as being greedy because he wants a money-making machine.
You can't have it both ways. So pick one argument and then stick to it.
There we go again.
Case 1: Guy wants a HouseWife and Not a working woman
He is labelled controlling, backwards, sexist and all that because he cannot "swallow" the fact that his woman is earning. Then there's always the argument that the girl should be independant bla bla bla so she HAS to be a working woman.
*Case 2: Guy wants a Working Woman *
The guy is automatically labelled as being greedy because he wants a money-making machine.
You can't have it both ways. So pick one argument and then stick to it.
Its pretty simple:
If she works because she WANTS to, thats fine and dandy and her right.
If she works because she HAS to, thats not fine and dandy.
If he expects her to run the household by herself, she should not have to work.
If he helps her just as much as she helps him, I could actually stomach that.
Girls like working but nowadays a working woman is becoming a status symbol.
"Falan Falan ki bahu doctor hai aur usko residency bhi milgayi"
"Meri bahu ne Masters karliya hai aur ab mere larkey se bhi achi job karrahi hai"
"Meri bahu to neurologist hai"
Its so sad.