Re: Wife's Earnings
^^ See thats kinda girl we are talking about :@:
u want to balance the score …so u have no problem in staying at home after kids…do part time job…cook…clean dishes…change diapers…wait for ur wife to come home…get dress for her…put dinner on the table… 
marriage is not a competition … if this is ur thinkin then PSquared is right 
- its not that u want a working wife … its ur demand to have an EARNING wife*
Girls should do whatever they want in education, that is absolutely right…without having to think about how this will land them a decent marriage proposal or not. Thats the problem with guys these days. 
Re: Wife's Earnings
It is rude to ask anyone's salary, be a girl or a guy.
If guy is working professional, it is then a common sense that he earns reasonable amount, why ask and make things nasty.
On the other note, what do most guys have to say ragards to a girl's sharing her salary or supporting someone/parents etc? Islamically it should not be their business but I have seen it most times, it becomes the husband's family issue that why a girl is giving money to someone else....these type of people sicken me.
Girls should do whatever they want in education, that is absolutely right...without having to think about how this will land them a decent marriage proposal or not. Thats the problem with guys these days. :(
Hmmm... I personally have no experience of meeting any guy who wants earning wife ... but yeah most of them want their wife to be working in the same field mostly their reasoning is that they want to share stuff n they'll have same interests etc n i think its ok ....
If guys r demanding for earning wife these days then its good that the gal come to know about this at the time of the proposal.... Simply say NO to such ppl n show them the way out ....
Re: Wife's Earnings
Call me a golddigger but I demand a working husband.
Re: Wife's Earnings
***Pakistani society has very clearly pre-defined roles for a woman and a man within a marriage. The woman takes care of the house and kids and the man supports the home and is the provider and bread-winner ! Our society has not evolved into the Western culture as much as these ppl want us to believe !
Nowadays some men wanna settle the "score" in the name of "equality" but all they want is a bank balance they can dip into without having to get off their fatasses to actually earn or make themselves cabable of earning to sufficiently support a house-hold.
Well if you want equality and are so "supportive" of a woman earning and paying your bills and rent then you should be ready to be a proper house husband which involves cooking her meals , cleaning the house ,sweeping the floors taking out the trash , taking care of the kids , taking them to school and doctor's appts etc. However at that point is when they suddenly remember they are "men" !
So what in fact they really want is a woman who will earn and support them , then come home and take care of their meals and kids too.
A woman who earns or has a career should be alllowed to have the choice of whether she wants to work or not and her earnings are hers to do with. In cases of financially difficult times , she can contribute to the household financially but at the end of the day its a husband's duty to provide for her.
I wonder all these men who are going on about equality and balancing the scores would they be saying the same thing when it comes to their daughters !
Re: Wife's Earnings
Wake up Ladies its too late to cry out loud now when we, women, have successfully attained a position in society equal to men. We wanted it, now we have it and now we have to deal with it.
If you are a woman who was working before marriage and suddenly do not prefer to work after marriage, a very common comment heard from hubby and in-laws is , " Baap ke ghar tou kaam karthi thi, ab kiyun nahin kar sakthi? "
I myself had come across few ppl/proposals like that who asked about my salary and position after they approved my general bio data. I was too angry at their concern about my earnings. But again I guess its the reality i have to live with. As i said its too late to cry out loud. Either out of greediness or out of curiousity, ppl will keep asking you these questions and you cannot keep rejecting these proposals. Somewhere you must have to compromise coz if not today then tomorrow you will have to compromise anyway.
Re: Wife's Earnings
I know someone who went for a rishta , liked the girl , they were about to get engaged. The girl was educated and was working at a very good position but the guy called off the engagement when he came to know that she stressed on spending her earning on her parents even after marraige too and told him that she wish to buy her parents house and a car from her OWN earnings.
I think the girl was very fortunate that he called off the engagement.
Re: Wife’s Earnings
lol. am i the only one who read it as “Wife’s Earring” 
?
ps. i thought the topic would be like, some one gave their wife’s earrings to someone else.
Re: Wife's Earnings
how different is it if a guy proposes to you because you are "so beautiful". I'd rather he did it for the money. At least that doesn't fade.
Re: Wife's Earnings
sheyn, if you're running into some family that wants to know how much you make, I think they're an anomaly. Usually, Pakistani men either
a. don't want their women to work, because somehow that shrinks the size of their ding a ling by at least 50%
or
b. they'll "tolerate" you working (as if you need to ask permission), just that you're home by a certain time so they can get their dinner.
I have no clue who wants to know money. Other than greedy families who have their eye on a $ sign.
Eh, maybe some families are moving in that direction, especially since we have so many more women who are professional high hitters on the market now.
Re: Wife's Earnings
^ You have some really biased views against men. I don't think its only about pride that some men don't want their wives to work. There can be alot of other factors such as taking care of home, babies etc. If you think its all about pride then you are very wrong.
Yes , I don’t mind spending my evenings looking after the kids , cooking on my turn during the week , playing my part in puttin the dinner on the table or clearing the table
I even don’t mind take a year out of my booming career to stay at home , looking after the new born baby
Atleast , when she earns , she knows how it hard it to make both ends meet !
so she will probably think more than twice before spending it on useless clothes and its matching accessories .
how different is it if a guy proposes to you because you are "so beautiful". I'd rather he did it for the money. At least that doesn't fade.
People can't face honesty you know !
if a girl's family does it , all fine and dandy ... but if a guy calling spade a spade , he is bloody greedy !
how fair is that ?
There is something really really wrong with your last statement.
There is no score, this isnt a competition and there is no prize if you "win"
If you feel the need to compete or keep score with a woman, I dont think marriage is for you.
C'mon be realistic .. would you please !
if it aint a competition then why guys with good earning are in huge demand ?
norms says , they get more beautiful , young and educated life partners . Don't they ?
so if you girls want , handsome , good looking , well off kind of husbands ... we also have a right to know what we are going to get out of this deal ...
You just don't marry some one for the sake of charity ! for heaven sake :)
Re: Wife's Earnings
I have seen sooooo many times that families look for professional gals and like to know about their salary not that they want her to work afterwards BUT just to boast about it in their peer group. like I have liked falan Major's daughter for my son, she is a doctor. Or that Engr's daughter who is CA and working in American firm. So there is too much of show shaw factor too.
Moreover, ppl look for these designations for another reason too, which is, if the family itself has history of all professionals, they automatically tend to bring a professional to home. It is exactly sAme like a family that has all Quran Hafiz at home, they look for a gal who is Hafiz e Quran too. I have seen such families in real life. All of the Bahus were mashAllah Hafiz Quran just like all of their sons were. The bahus and sons married their kids to Hafiz Qurans'. That was their main requirement from any gal or boy.
Its better not to think that GREED is the only factor that is making them ask for your hand. You can test the person if he is only after your degree n thinking of you as a money machine or he really has some other reason behind it.
The most imp factor that one should see while deciding on a gal or boy is to look at the blood stream. thats what we call in our term Khaandani loug. May be you know what I mean but I will avoid to explain it here as may be, may be some ppl will get offended and most prolly the thread will take a new direction. But I am sure most of you know what i mean by good khaandan and good blood.
Re: Wife’s Earnings
Sometimes I wonder if women have brought it upon themselves .. society and religion told us both genders are equal but have different roles …Men provide financial and general security to the family and the wife looks after the home and the kids ..
But us ladies started a war on equality , where WE chose the equality measurement and believed that WE work and earn just like them men. In return we expected Men to do the house hold chores …
We ignored that perhaps we are going against the basic nature of men and women by expecting each other to take on the opposite roles .. a man will never nurture a kid like a woman will , nor will he want to make a house a home the same way as a woman will … similarly there is a limitation of stress a woman can take at work or else her health suffers .. She cannot provide physical security to her family just as a man can.
Now , amidst this confusing identity crisis of men and women , some women went astray in looking for materialistic elements in a man for marriage , expecting him to be earning a high salary, handsome as a prince , provide her security yet help her around with the home making and cook and do all the girly jobs as well … they are looking for perfection in a man wanting him to be hard and soft at the same time.
Similarly a certain group of men have evolved into materialistic beings , wanting their women to work for money, because it is impossible to run a household on a single salary … an excuse much used these days … they expect women to work AND look after the home and still not get tired … the same , expecting them to be hard and soft at the same time.
Who is to blame? Just men ? or Just women? .. I think we all have a hand in it … societies are made by individuals and our preferences of how we live our life … We have shaped out society over the years to create more of confused genders … and now we are complaining about it:smack: ..Simple realization is that no one is perfect , no one can be soft and hard at the same time.