Wife has male friends.

Lifestyle Relationships
41

Re: Wife has male friends.

Dude shes not dating the guys, just friends with them..agar apki thinking kharab hai iska matlab yeh nahi ke larki kharab hai! besides he has communicated the matter to her and she is being defensive about it cuz obviously woh kuch galat nai kar rahi. Man come on, if you have grown up eating meat just cuz one fine day you get married to a vegetarian you don't leave everything and start eating salads..DUH?!?!!!!

Instead of being patient you get all emo atyachar on her..is tht even fair to the girl? Woh soch rai hogi juma juma 8 din nai huwey hai and he cant accept me for who i am and wants to change me..shes not some gaye bhens dude shes a human being. Shadi ek ke hurt feelings per nai chalti..or hamesha woh nai hoga jo larka feel karta hai!

And for god sake you tell me, every time u are "spending time" with ur friends do u always have some sick intentions?? i hope the answer is a NO!

I agree with the compromises part but why does the girl have to compromise when her intentions are pure why can the guy ever be a lil more understanding to her choices.

male chauvinist much?!

42

Re: Wife has male friends.

[QUOTE]
if you have grown up eating meat just cuz one fine day you get married to a vegetarian you don't leave everything and start eating salads..DUH?!?!!!!
[/QUOTE]

LMAO

43

Re: Wife has male friends.

Male Chauvinist? Why yes how did you know?

Knowing a couple that was one meat eater and one vegan. Now both are vegan so yeah you do start eating salads. However I as a guy with some female friends, I do limit my time with my female friends if my wife is uncomfortable about it and I do share with her every single bit of information to ensure my wife feels comfortable about the matter. Its called compromise. If my wife ever disliked a woman she would be out of my life. My wife is priority. My wife is important to me.

I get the whole change aspect as women dislike change for a man. They feel like they are losing part of themselves for the sake of a man. What women fail to realize in marriage is that everybody changes.Single women don't get it. Married women do. All men get it. It is an important aspect of life. I have changed during my period of dating and now in marriage. If you aren't changing during your marriage and relationships and not making adjustments for the other person, you are the problem. Not the spouse.

44

Re: Wife has male friends.

trust me the poison of any marriage is having too close friendships with the opposite gender..

the problem is that she finds It normal and you don't. You really should have discussed the extents of these before you tied the knot.

45

Re: Wife has male friends.

Point is does ur wife dislike all women?
a) Is ur wife so irrational that without knowing any one of them shell start disliking them?
b) If she does dislike all ur women friends without knowing them and just generally don't like u talking to girls, will u accept tht without a question?

The scenario you presented between u & ur wife is irrelevant as it suggests that she knows that girl and based on that has formed an opinion, while this husband here for the sake of his beliefs wants the wife to entirely stop talking to the "man-kind" as friends!

get my point?

46

Re: Wife has male friends.

Maybe not everyone has gutter values like you. :)

47

Re: Wife has male friends.

A simple question. Where did the original poster say that he disliked all men? You are frankly being irrational and illogical. You fail to realize the issue is as simple as the guy has asked her to stop. She refuses to do so.

Now tell me this woman if you asked your husband not to talk to a girl and he said he will continue to do so regardless of the fact that you dislike it, would you just be nice and patient and care for him as you suggested?

As for my personal case. If my wife dislikes one of my friends for any reason, I am no longer talking to that friend. I don't care what the reason is, it makes my wife uncomfortable and her happiness is far more important than anybody else. So yeah when it comes to other women I will do whatever it takes to ensure my wife is comfortable.

Now answer my question.

48

Re: Wife has male friends.

Well that escalated quickly… :khumar:

49

Re: Wife has male friends.

O my lord are u disillusion or wat? cant u just simply see that he said:

"i don't want you talking to your male friends cuz i don't either, based on my Islamic beliefs"

In your last 2 posts you have interpreted it as follows:

"Girl shouldn't talk because she should keep her marriage and compromise"
"Girl shouldn't talk cuz her husband doesn't like the particular man" based on your personal example, which is not the case as he doesn't dislike someone in particular)

She is probably being defensive about this cuz its insulting to doubt her intentions with anyone (male or female) when she is married to someone!

Seriously..Are you arguing for the sake of it?

50

Re: Wife has male friends.

Far be it from me to stop a pissing contest, but ShimmerV, did you not say yourself that women are emotional creatures? Have you heard of emotional affairs? They start very gradually, and are not sexual at all. It happens to both men and women, which is why boundaries in a relationship are important. You can't spend hours texting and messaging people and not get attached to them, and any person, man or woman, would feel hurt if their spouse was that attached to someone of the opposite sex.

People don't hate other people for no reason, so if her husband is doesn't like someone, it's probably not because he doesn't want her to talk to any men at all, most likely he feels that she is too close to these men. Now, if he's saying, stay in the house all day, and you can't have friendships with men, period. That's a bit extreme imo, but asking someone to step back from a friendship for the sake of your partner is not unreasonable at all.

As Zafra asked you, how would you feel if your husband was spending a lot of time with a female friend? What if that female friend was single and attractive?

51

Re: Wife has male friends.

LOL! I see your post shrunk Ghost. Smart decision on removing yourself from the discussion. I believe I am gonna need some medical attention after all of this.

Shimmer answer my question.

52

Re: Wife has male friends.

Lol I wrote something, said screw it, but then had to write it again.

53

Re: Wife has male friends.

D'oh now you have entered the fray. May the force be with you!

54

Re: Wife has male friends.

Men really are insecure creatures aren't they?
I wish he was asking her to step back from "a particular friendship" he is asking for all male friends to be thrown out of their lives
We as women are emotional but aren't fools dude, we know our husbands and our responsibilities and we know how to handle these with our everyday lives (friends, families etc)
Or jin larkiyoon ki aapbaat kar rahey ho woh husband ki waja se baat karna band karle phone per, ek din parosi ke saath bhaag zaror jayegi...apni biwiyon ko unlogo se compare mat karo! I never ever said in my life "all men are dogs" but wat u are saying is "don't trust ur wife she is an emotional fool so cut off her friends"

Me and my husband both have very healthy friendships with the opposite sex, i don't doubt him for a second and nor did he ever doubt me. His trust and love for me will never let me go astray..never did in the 13 years we dated and never will now that we getting married.

I'm sorry to say but there is a certain cheapness in how you guys are thinking about women as if we are a property of your feelings (may it be love, hurt, insecurity etc) and we have to flex our lives based on them. If u have insecurity issues sort it out within yourselves!

55

Re: Wife has male friends.

By the looks of it u have been delaying the medical attention you always required..insurance not allowing? Hate to stoop as low as you but if you think you can attack me and get away with it, you are wrong!

56

Re: Wife has male friends.

ShimmerV, are you reading the same posts as I am? :confused:

57

Re: Wife has male friends.

My scenario:

If i don't like someone in particular for what ever valid reason it may be and discuss with him and he still maintains to talk to her ill be mad
BUT
If i ask him to stop talking to ALL his gril-friends cuz it hurts me because of my religious believes
I'M THE ONE UNFAIR!

Whats so hard?

58

Re: Wife has male friends.

[mod] *Please stick to the topic. If any of you insist on continuing the heated personal "discussions"........then please do it through PMs. * [/mod]

59

Re: Wife has male friends.

At this point, I think its useless for any of use to share any further advice without some clarification from OP. We're making too many assumptions.

1) Did his wife know these guys before married? Is she also friends with their families? Are the guys married/engaged/single/dating?

2) Did OP know before marriage that his wife has guy friends? Did these guys attend their wedding?

3) Has OP met these guys? Do the guys make an effort to get to know OP and vice versa?

4) When his wife hangs out with her guy friends, does she invite OP to join? Is she actually spending hours texting/talking to these guys? Is she actually ignoring OP at home as a result of these male friendships?

5) Does OP have a problem with 1 or 2 specific friends....or does he want her to end ALL male friendships?

60

Re: Wife has male friends.

People need to respect OP's marriage, values and feelings instead of propagating extreme personal bias here.

Its about someone's marriage not how things work in your relationship thus which you think must be the universal code of conduct for the entire human race.