Re: Wife getting fat
Op need growing up. Shallow man
Re: Wife getting fat
Op need growing up. Shallow man
Nothing shallow about it... it is a real issue and many couples experience this, whether it is the wife getting fat or the husband
Losing attraction to your spouse is scary because it can lead to affairs and other things. The fact that he is seeking help means he still cares.
OP, have a good talk with her. She might be depressed. Depressed people are lazy and selfish and unfortunately nothing can make them crawl out of that dark place unless they have a good support system and professional help.
Re: Wife getting fat
After reading your post and all of the comments....what have you done aside from buying an expensive machine?
This a general comment to all men out there: do you know what it's like to carry two children and go through the weight gain, the mental stress, the societal pressures to look like you never even had children after having them?
That being said, I think she's at fault as well. Have you considered offering a nanny for a couple hours a day so that both of you after you come home from work can spend time together? If she starts feeling needed and wanted from your end she'll listen. If you approach the topic from a health standpoint instead of "you're fat do something about it" it will resonate much better. She has to feel a connection with you, then if you bring up the topic and offer to take her out on walks as a start, bring home fresh fruit and veggies, she may be more open to it.
Re: Wife getting fat
Though you sound like a troll but have you considered that her weight gain could also be linked to underlying health issue. Or if she recently gave birth let her be fat. It will come off
I was so fat after my first child almost like a pumpkin but it took me longer to shed that weight than it took me to gain it. I gained 17 kgs and lost most of it expect those last 2kgs but it was a gradual process.
I think she should try blaming you every night for not been able to retain her figure nevade it was you who had her gain that weight ib the first place. You baby sit your kids so she can go off to gym and spa and then meet her friends after that. While she's away please do the cleaning and laundry
Re: Wife getting fat
After reading your post and all of the comments....what have you done aside from buying an expensive machine?
This a general comment to all men out there: do you know what it's like to carry two children and go through the weight gain, the mental stress, the societal pressures to look like you never even had children after having them?
That being said, I think she's at fault as well. Have you considered offering a nanny for a couple hours a day so that both of you after you come home from work can spend time together? If she starts feeling needed and wanted from your end she'll listen. If you approach the topic from a health standpoint instead of "you're fat do something about it" it will resonate much better. She has to feel a connection with you, then if you bring up the topic and offer to take her out on walks as a start, bring home fresh fruit and veggies, she may be more open to it.
This x1000!!!
Also, its A LOT harder for women to lose weight than men.
Re: Wife getting fat
I am sorry, but seems like his wife really isn't trying to lose weight. I have struggle with weight all my life and it went from bad to worse after having a kid (hormonal imbalance etc.) So i completely agree with all poster who have said it is hard to lose weight after having kids. But I have always made an effort to work out, eat healthy and try to balance everything. My hubby always mentions that too, that at least i am always trying and haven't given up. Normally, i would be the last person to side with OP. BUT OP's wife doesn't seems to be trying and does seems a little lazy.
One salan for 3-4 days...I have a kid and i work full time...but i always manage to make few dishes per week (Sunday cooking), make lunch for my preschooler (healthy stuff at that.)
I am not trying to put her down, but just wondering why isn't she trying to do anything. OP have you told her who you feel about her image? Maybe she isn't realizing how you truly feel about the weight and her. Also has she been to a doctor since she had the second baby. I didn't even realize that I had thyroid issues and 9 months after having my son. I assumed my 'laziness' was due to having a csection or a kid.
Re: Wife getting fat
I am sorry, but seems like his wife really isn't trying to lose weight. I have struggle with weight all my life and it went from bad to worse after having a kid (hormonal imbalance etc.) So i completely agree with all poster who have said it is hard to lose weight after having kids. But I have always made an effort to work out, eat healthy and try to balance everything. My hubby always mentions that too, that at least i am always trying and haven't given up. Normally, i would be the last person to side with OP. BUT OP's wife doesn't seems to be trying and does seems a little lazy.
One salan for 3-4 days...I have a kid and i work full time...but i always manage to make few dishes per week (Sunday cooking), make lunch for my preschooler (healthy stuff at that.)
I am not trying to put her down, but just wondering why isn't she trying to do anything. OP have you told her who you feel about her image? Maybe she isn't realizing how you truly feel about the weight and her. Also has she been to a doctor since she had the second baby. I didn't even realize that I had thyroid issues and 9 months after having my son. I assumed my 'laziness' was due to having a csection or a kid.
Let's remember that we're only hearing one side.
Not to discredit OP's position, but I'm sure that the wife will have her own story to tell.
At the very basic level, there are communication issues in this marriage and that could be creating many problems that are not even being addressed in this thread.
Re: Wife getting fat
This x1000!!!
Also, its A LOT harder for women to lose weight than men.
maybe true in some but not all cases.
my SIL can drop 10 lbs by skipping lunch for a week whereas my brother can go to the gym 5 days a week and reduce his caloric intake by half and still need a month to drop 10 pounds...
Re: Wife getting fat
Let's remember that** we're only hearing one side. ** Not to discredit OP's position, but I'm sure that the wife will have her own story to tell. At the very basic level, there are communication issues in this marriage and that could be creating many problems that are not even being addressed in this thread.
Finally someone said it. Thats what I always wonder in pretty much every Life1 scenario.
There cannot be any complete judgement or a solution wutsoever without it.
Re: Wife getting fat
There cannot be any complete judgement or a solution wutsoever without it.
And that is where I disagree. Op is just sharing his mind and expecting an opinion just on the face value of the scenario. He is not asking for a judgment, and we should simply stop giving any.
He can't call his wife overweight (by his standards), but we can call him shallow and immature. That is just awesome
Re: Wife getting fat
The fat apologists in this thread.. smh.
Re: Wife getting fat
And that is where I disagree. Op is just sharing his mind and expecting an opinion just on the face value of the scenario. He is not asking for a judgment, and we should simply stop giving any.
He can't call his wife overweight (by his standards), but we can call him shallow and immature. That is just awesome
He is not asking but he is judging himself, isnt he? That was I referring to.
And yes when you seek opinions on the base of one judgement you are automatically inviting others to pass over their judgements. Its all corelated in a life1 scenario
Re: Wife getting fat
He is not asking but he is judging himself, isnt he? That was I referring to.
And yes when you seek opinions on the base of one judgement you are automatically inviting others to pass over their judgements. Its all corelated in a life1 scenario
No he is not judging. He is opening up, putting himself at a vulnerable position, and asking for help.
Re: Wife getting fat
Hmm… okk.. 
Well, wut do I know. I would leave it to you life1 gurus 
Re: Wife getting fat
THIS. I would consider him being a victim had he not said those things. that’s pure negativity that will only result in more weight gain.
Re: Wife getting fat
Ok doctor Phil, carry on then. He is judging his wife, we shall judge him :D
Re: Wife getting fat
Have you considered that she could be having a medical issue? Lack of iron, B12 and D can all cause the motivation to even get up in the morning. Take her to the doctor and have a thorough physical done. Everyone should have it done yearly anyway. Take her to a spa and get a mani-pedi done, get her hair styled. Make her feel appreciate with these little things.
Once you have kids and so many responsibilities, it is easy to put yourself at the bottom of the list. Speak to her in a positive way, her health is important for the whole family. You can only take care of so many things, and that is where she can step in and make sure you both keep your family and kids well.
Community centres and fitness centres offer various types of family activities throughout the year for the whole family. Go there, play tennis with the kids and her. Leave the kids home, take her to the nearest lake or beach and walk together, spending some quiet, quality time together.
Re: Wife getting fat
Have you considered that she could be having a medical issue? Lack of iron, B12 and D can all cause the motivation to even get up in the morning. Take her to the doctor and have a thorough physical done. Everyone should have it done yearly anyway. Take her to a spa and get a mani-pedi done, get her hair styled. Make her feel appreciate with these little things.
Once you have kids and so many responsibilities, it is easy to put yourself at the bottom of the list. Speak to her in a positive way, her health is important for the whole family. You can only take care of so many things, and that is where she can step in and make sure you both keep your family and kids well.
Community centres and fitness centres offer various types of family activities throughout the year for the whole family. Go there, play tennis with the kids and her. Leave the kids home, take her to the nearest lake or beach and walk together, spending some quiet, quality time together.
All of these are great suggestions.....but what should he do to make her "want" to participate?
Don't you think that's the key?
He can't very well carry her off to the doctor for a physical if she doesn't agree to go. He can, perhaps, get her to the fitness center but he can't make her walk on the treadmill, can he? She has to "want" to do that.
So what should anyone do to make someone "want" to do something?
As for the comments on judging......we all do it.....whether or not we're willing to admit that we do is another story.
Re: Wife getting fat
I’m assuming this post was directed towards me. If I judged him, I wouldnt have said his wife is to blame as well.
Thanks for passing judgement on me as well though :k:
Re: Wife getting fat
No it was not directed towards anyone in particular.
But thanks for volunteering and taking the shot at yourself though :k: