Re: Why Most Of The Guys .......
How do u know most girls only want men to go thru their fathers??
How do you think? I knocked on their door and asked them.
what planet is it considered bad to have contact with ur own sister(s) or mother??
Earth, the third planet from the sun. Where are you from?
Re: Why Most Of The Guys …
Only thing funnier than actual sarcasm is when it goes over someones head 
Re: Why Most Of The Guys .......
only crazy Wahhabis are that obsessed with extreme gender segregation..
what about irani ayotollahs? or deobandi taliban ?
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Well think about it this way, a girl who goes out with you, sleeps with you, etc...is that really someone you want as a mother of your children, grandma to your future grandchildren?? Hell NO!!! I dunno any Muslim guy that would (whether Paki, Arab, Afghan etc..).
Those aren't wives or mothers, their I dunno, I like to think of them as "life experience enhancers".
Even a girl who talks freely or openly and mixes/mingles with boys, even a girl like that YOU DON"T WANT!! (As a wife that is).
The nice shareef girls, the ones you want as a future wife/mother to your kids, their not going to date you, only way to marry them is to go through their father. Now that is respect, that is honor. I respect those type of girls so much.
that a boy
Re: Why Most Of The Guys .......
Bottom line is guys, a wife should be held to much higher standards.
I realized quickly, very quickly around age 22,23 (I'm 25), that these girls I was messing around with were not really someone I'd want to marry. I just sat back and thought about it one day. How can you marry someone you don't even respect? Even if she just made out with a guy before, do you want that as your wife? SO he can sit around and laugh his ass of when you marry her?
Guys do stuff like that, when we're sitting around playing poker topics like that will come up "yo so and so man I totally ******ED that girl in my senior year AHAHAHA".
A woman's respect is a very very delicate thing, it can be ruined in a day! You gotta be careful.
The girls that were marriage material, the shy quiet beautiful ones, who know their religion, respect themselves, their not going to go places alone with me, good girls don't do that. Plus you know I wouldn't want them to before marriage. Its weird, like a good Muslim girl, its like a thing of purity and respect.
To marry a girl like that, you must be decent, you must involve an elder, that's what I mean when I think of "arranged marriage". Not , "mom says you must marry so and so, and you do it, even if you don't want to", No no, that's not Islam.
Like with my wife, she was my cousins really good friend, and my cousin never ever gives compliments to anyone, when she does she means it. So when she told me that this girl is amazing in terms of her character, deen, and pretty too, well I knew it was the real deal. I had to investigate further! My cousin went to school with her, and she told me " I know so many pretty girls, but I would never ever recommend them to you for marriage, but this one, if you marry her you will be lucky as hell".
I have so much respect for my wife, its insane.
The respect stems from the fact that her whole life she kept herself just for me, that just blows my mind. She is so damn nice too, she never gossips or talks bad about people behind their back, even if sometimes I am wrong and acting like an idiot and I lose my temper, she still doesn't say a word to me!!! God damn I love her so much.
Trust me guys get a wife like that, do isthikhara, it's the sweetest thing in the world. When you do things the halal way, with Gods name, there is barkat, and GOD will place love between your hearts, it says so in the Quran.
Don't do things the haram way!
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BTW My ex wife, it was all a love marriage, my parents certainly did not want me to marry her! I was crazy about her though.
We met, we started sleeping together, then one day out of guilt decided that we might as well get nikah if we were going to keep sleeping together, and it was all horrible, a nasty experience. So we just went to the mosque after Asr and did it, just 2 witnesses. That's it.
It was my fault too, I should have never ever slept with her before marriage, but I was completely drowning in my lust, as she had that whole curvaceous thing going on. I am only a human being. Now that I look back, I feel almost disgusted with myself, I mean I lost total control of myself.
There was no elders involved, no blessings from my grandparents, parents etc..you need that, you may think you don't but you do!
You need their duas. You should take their "mashfara" even if you don't agree in the end, you should at least consult them, they have the experience. Many of our youth today think they "know it all", no you don't.
3 months after marriage(and 9 months of dating) , we had a huge huge fight over the phone, and 10 minutes later I found myself writing her a divorce note emailing it to her, that's what happens when Shaitan is involved. She dared me to write it to her and I was like "Oh yeah, here you go you ****" . The sad part is the fight was over something very stupid, and small, it just escalated. But Alhamdullilah it was for the best.
And this is exactly what my parents warned me about, as in 5 min they figured out she was a person of bad character. (She came to my house for dinner a few times).
Re: Why Most Of The Guys …
Regardless of whether you’re a troll or completely sincere zealot, you should SO be kicked in the nuts. 
Re: Why Most Of The Guys .......
I am not a zealot or a troll, Alhamdullilah
I am just a guy who learned soooooooooooooo much during the past 1.5 - 2 years, I mean I have changed so much. Alhamdullilah, and all of this is not due to me, its due to the all mighty, I dunno whose prayer it was.
A good pious Muslim brother saw me at the mosque and he told me "Bro Allah must really love you, cause the way you were back then, and now how you are, its amazing."
The whole ex wife thing was totally a blessing in disguise, it taught me a lot about life, people, myself, religion, being humble, humility, respecting parents/elders, and most of all controlling your anger.
I am just sharing my experiences in the hopes that other men won't make the same mistake.
Cause I know how guys are in the West, young, got a nice car, money, going to college, think you "know it all", nope! Not at all. Not at all.
In the last 2 years or so, life taught me a lot of amazing lessons. I could write a book man.
Re: Why Most Of The Guys .......
.............oh forget it :-)
Re: Why Most Of The Guys .......
Look, this isn't even about your non-virgin and previously divorced ex and how you were so benevolent enough to marry her despite her being "impure" and that she ended up using you. This is more about your views and your inability to understand why many people in this forum (both male and female) have issues with them. You can shrug it off and have the "Screw it, I'm confident in my views" attitude, but that doesn't make you right or less of a fool.
You claim you've changed in the past two years, yeah I don't think so. You say you've become humble, eh? What a joke! If your "humble" self had truly learned something, you'd also admonish the guys who willingly hang out with girls with no intention to marry them and only to use them for their own pleasure (such as yourself). I believe it takes two to tango. Yes, it is the girls' fault, but the guys are guilty as well. And that's what you're doing wrong. Your post exempts the the guys from any responsibility. Hence, you, oh humble one, have learned nothing. And the sad thing is that one can't even make the excuse that perhaps you struggle with language and are unintentionally wording things in a way that come across as offensive. Nope, you seem to know exactly what you're typing. And that's sad, really and truly sad.
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welcome back redvelvet, i don't know you well at all but i missed your posts so much.
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Every freaking post is about how you slept with your ex and then got married and now your new wife was a virgin. WE GET IT. You sound like a broken record.
Re: Why Most Of The Guys .......
Look, this isn't even about your non-virgin and previously divorced ex and how you were so benevolent enough to marry her despite her being "impure" and that she ended up using you. This is more about your views and your inability to understand why many people in this forum (both male and female) have issues with them. You can shrug it off and have the "Screw it, I'm confident in my views" attitude, but that doesn't make you right or less of a fool.
You claim you've changed in the past two years, yeah I don't think so. You say you've become humble, eh? What a joke! If your "humble" self had truly learned something, you'd also admonish the guys who willingly hang out with girls with no intention to marry them and only to use them for their own pleasure (such as yourself). I believe it takes two to tango. Yes, it is the girls' fault, but the guys are guilty as well. And that's what you're doing wrong. Your post exempts the the guys from any responsibility. Hence, you, oh humble one, have learned nothing. And the sad thing is that one can't even make the excuse that perhaps you struggle with language and are unintentionally wording things in a way that come across as offensive. Nope, you seem to know exactly what you're typing. And that's sad, really and truly sad.
^great response!
Re: Why Most Of The Guys .......
Look, this isn't even about your non-virgin and previously divorced ex and how you were so benevolent enough to marry her despite her being "impure" and that she ended up using you. This is more about your views and your inability to understand why many people in this forum (both male and female) have issues with them. You can shrug it off and have the "Screw it, I'm confident in my views" attitude, but that doesn't make you right or less of a fool.
You claim you've changed in the past two years, yeah I don't think so. You say you've become humble, eh? What a joke! If your "humble" self had truly learned something, you'd also admonish the guys who willingly hang out with girls with no intention to marry them and only to use them for their own pleasure. I believe it takes two to tango. Yes, it is the girls' fault, but the guys are guilty as well. And that's what you're doing wrong. Your post exempts the the guys from any responsibility. Hence, you, oh humble one, have learned nothing. And the sad thing is that one can't even make the excuse that perhaps you struggle with language and are unintentionally wording things in a way that come across as offensive. Nope, you seem to know exactly what you're typing. And that's sad, really and truly sad.
I can't change how they are. They are what they are.
What I do is I don't hang around those guys anymore, that's all I can do. I've changed the friends I keep and moved on with my life.
I mean as people we are influenced by our peers, and the kind of friends I had growing up, they didn't really respect women or girls much, used em for pleasure, and that's how I was too. I mean the whole "snoop dog, Akon, rap culture etc..it really doesn't respect women does it" That's the kind of bs I was surrounded by.
It happens a lot in suburban America, you just gotta be careful, both guys and girls!
Re: Why Most Of The Guys .......
BTW My ex wife, it was all a love marriage, my parents certainly did not want me to marry her! I was crazy about her though.
We met, we started sleeping together, then one day out of guilt decided that we might as well get nikah if we were going to keep sleeping together, and it was all horrible, a nasty experience. So we just went to the mosque after Asr and did it, just 2 witnesses. That's it.
It was my fault too, I should have never ever slept with her before marriage, but I was completely drowning in my lust, as she had that whole curvaceous thing going on. I am only a human being. Now that I look back, I feel almost disgusted with myself, I mean I lost total control of myself.
There was no elders involved, no blessings from my grandparents, parents etc..you need that, you may think you don't but you do!
You need their duas. You should take their "mashfara" even if you don't agree in the end, you should at least consult them, they have the experience. Many of our youth today think they "know it all", no you don't.
3 months after marriage(and 9 months of dating) , we had a huge huge fight over the phone, and 10 minutes later I found myself writing her a divorce note emailing it to her, that's what happens when Shaitan is involved. She dared me to write it to her and I was like "Oh yeah, here you go you ****" . The sad part is the fight was over something very stupid, and small, it just escalated. But Alhamdullilah it was for the best.
And this is exactly what my parents warned me about, as in 5 min they figured out she was a person of bad character. (She came to my house for dinner a few times).
right, it's so okay for you to end up with a "pure" wife when you yourself aren't "pure" at all. Bechaari biwi aap ki, na insaafi huwi us ke saath to (if we look at all this from your perspective)
Anyways grow up!
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Every freaking post is about how you slept with your ex and then got married and now your new wife was a virgin. WE GET IT. You sound like a broken record.
That made me laugh, ok go down the threads in this section, go back a few pages. Are not like 90% of the topics just repeats of the same thing over and over?
Yeah I know i prob do talk about the same thing , but that's the "life experience" I am here to share.
Some people deal with racism, others with bad in laws, others with horrible spouses, etc...everyone has different experiences in life.
I think I can offer a very unique honest and down to earth perspective on things, a very non politically correct "say it as it is" type of approach.
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welcome back redvelvet, i don't know you well at all but i missed your posts so much.
Thank you. Read yet another obnoxious post by the warped preacher above and couldn't resist responding. Don't plan on posting for long.
Re: Why Most Of The Guys .......
Thank you. Read yet another obnoxious post by the warped preacher above and couldn't resist responding. Don't plan on staying for long.
No no please, don't let me bug you. I don't post here much myself, only when I am procrastinating and I should be getting some work done!
Re: Why Most Of The Guys .......
Because, who would go through the rigmorale of looking after some girl's nakhras for love marraige, while knowing fully well, mom and dad will bring home a beauty queen, with lots of jehez, high connections who will be willing to do your bidding at all times and do you and your family's khidmat. Plus your family will be happy too, so why get into all teh jhanghat.
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Haven't read all the posts but a few posts show the guy speaks his mind. Has changed his ways. Wants others to learn something. Why so much hostility?