Interesting replies. Enjoyed reading you all guys and gals. Those of you who think marriage is must for this and that reason are loosers. Sooner or later you are going to realize what mess you made out of your lives. Abstinence is a best choice left for those who have their self respect dear to them
Pro-creation is not an urge. Its just a logical end to getting married. Sex is an urge which can be put on hold until you are dead. In case you can not live on without that, take to the lesser evil i.e. Masturbate. hiccup: You are the best :k: sara: I think you are too hot to think beyond itā¦
Beyond the urges. Am I allowed to be openly saying what I want to? If yes, I have found your responses to be specific to sexual urges for which one should marry. I know that it is a right way to quench your thirsts yet the idea of opening of this thread was to know what actually is at stake for us when we marry? Do we see pros and cons and weigh them before we decide we should marry? For me, sexual urges are secondary. I want peace first which I dont think one gets after getting married.
no i can' think beyond sex. I stated it several times throughout my posts, that sex is no reason to marry, that there's much more to it. Maybe u find u won't be at peace, but some might be. It depends on your upbringing, your own personal preferences etc.
Yeah but everything has problems. You have fights with your parents and your friends, that doesn't mean you should cut all of them out of your life. Everything has its ups and downs and its upto you if you choose to focus on the good or the bad. I've read all these stories and threads that show the ugly side of marriage, but my mind still has not changed.
Parents are not chosen so we are not left with choices in this category. Friends which betray me, I leave them for good. Believe me I do that. Spouses are not that easy to part with once they are in your life. Does this convey you my fears?
I don't know what you're so afraid of. If you don't wnat to marry then don't. If the peace you get from being single all your life is worth the nagging, freakish curiosity and dumb questions that will come with it (if ur a girl) then by all means go ahead. You may not feel lonely or empty if you don't have someone to share your life with, whereas others might... personal preferences....
I dont have any to share my life with so let me be missing out on it as much as I can. I am learning from my friends and family and I am not going to fall for it until its extremely necessary which I think may not emerge
Zalim - I haven't complained yet knock wood. There are some people who marry and are more content (like myself), but the nature of people opening threads is to ask for help for a problem, even if it is a one time issue or one that bothers you, but these are not reasons to end a marriage or even reasons that make a 'bad' marriage (for the most part).
Basically, you just have to do what is right for you, if it is abstinence, all the more power to you.
But giving up based on other people's sometimes myopic, sometimes selfish, sometimes frustrated views of their marriages is a bad way to judge anything.
Its all part of the knowledge you gain and based on that you decide whether you want it or not. Thanks for your wishes, I am honoured. I would like to know since how long haev you been married and would also like to know if you think you really did a right decision? How would you compare your life now than the one you had prior that, would you say that on average basis, you are well placed now and you are happier than you were before?
I first married at 19. Well, I'm 40 now, kids are 16 and 18. I really did make the right decision two times.
First time - I was married for about 10 yrs and had two kids, my husband was older than I and he passed away, cancer. Prior to this marriage, I was in college and living on my own, I married and had my children before I graduated.
Two years after first husband passed - I was married again, been married for almost 7 yrs. This was a love marriage and truthfully, I am happier than I have ever been. I hate sounding sappy, but it's true. I can't imagine ever not being married to the man I am married to now. Now that the kids are older, it is easier and we actually get time together alone, it's still good.
Marriage is what you put into it. It is hard sometimes, but overall worth it. You have support when you need it, a shoulder when you need it, and a kick in the butt when you need it. As long as both people are committed, adaptable, and able to communicate, it should work.
On a side note, if my first husband had still been alive, maybe issues would have arose, who knows? I was young then and had different priorities and goals, maybe a bit of frustration might have set in, but that is still workable.
Truly worrying Thats a new angle to look at what women are! The sad part of it is that you consider your first husband not worth managing. The camouflauge if ābut that is still workableā doesnt mean anything. Not that I am not happy with your happiness that you found in your second marriage, minah-pa I am truly sad for the one who might be wishing to have you in heavens! What shall happen then to him?
I was happy enough then, are you saying I was anticipating problems? I wasn't. It was rough when he got sick, worse when there was no hope, and I truly mourned and missed him when he passed. Our marriage, in my opinion, wasn't long enough to develop any problems, that is why I said who knows.
I am almost saying how dare you but I am hoping I misunderstood you.
Before I get very offended were you implying that I gave up on that marrigae or that I don't miss him today?
Ofcourse you did not give up on that marriage. I was implying you do not miss him. No offence. I was getting beyond what normally one thinks. My concerns transcend beyond this worldā¦
Then I am sorry if it is a misunderstanding, peace then My temper flares sometimes.
But I am still curious about whether you believe a widow should re-marry?
Not being confrontative, really, this time Iām not (I was before and acted rashly - Iām sorry) - it seems as though you believed that I didnāt miss my ex-husband because I remarried and I was very happy. Again, my apologies, this is still a sore spot for me.
I mean, come on, lets agree its not worth going for it.
My temper flares sometimes.