Re: Why marry then?
Not really :p
Re: Why marry then?
Ahhhh a fk buddy isn't a "relationship" :p
Re: Why marry then?
this thread is becoming very pious and soothing.
Re: Why marry then?
It was going fine until Hiccup came.... hiccup u bad bad girl :p
Re: Why marry then?
Yeah, I agree why marry then?!?
Re: Why marry then?
lol, ok hiccup- it was my dirty mind then, I will pray
Pious enough, AQ?
lol and I agree with Sara, hiccup the one's that yell NO the loudest get caught the quickest
AND that Hiccup is a bad girl :D
Re: Why marry then?
As many bad in-laws stories I hear, all the couples I know who are much older now (the aunty-uncle generation) all say they had problems with their in-laws. But they stuck through the horror, and now they're all happy and adjusted to one another. It takes time.
I mean, you have to marry someone who you might not know until the wedding night (arranged marriage), and then you have to think of them as family, like you think of your parents and siblings as family. That has got to be darn hard. Kudos to all the crazy desis who go for arranged marriages.
Re: Why marry then?
Well not all arranged marriages are that extreme. I’m sure there are arranged marriages where they talk to each other and slowly get adjusted to the idea of it… my cousins in pak, they do that… TOTALLY arranged… in fact the day of the barat, the bride (my cuosin) was asking me “Woh pyara hai?” 
Re: Why marry then?
See, I dont know how they do it. Its the height of ignorant culture really. How can you bloody agree to marry a bloody bloke that you've never even seen or talked to? Man it must suck for people when they finally meet on the wedding night and the first thing they think is "I'm married to this gulaab jamun?"
Re: Why marry then?
gulaab jamun
Actually i’m beginning to understand why too much contact between fiance is prohibited and frowned down upon. Even Islamically, your fiance is still your na-mehram. I know in your heart you may feel like you’re already married to the person, but in reality that’s not the case. I’m not saying that I would do that type of marriage, but I can’ understand why too much contact is not a good idea. You don’tw ant to get your hopes up in case something goes wrong and you don’t end up marrying him.
Re: Why marry then?
This happens more often than a lot a people think. Ignorance is a very generous word here - its more like stupidity, foolishness, sin, stupid … If parents want their kids to marry someone of their choice they should find out what they want or otherwise ‘their’ choices can go to hell
At the very least their should be courting period where the girl/guy should be allowed to determine whether they are suitable for each other AND they should have the chance of saying “No dont want to marry this person” AND the parents should be able to hear the damn ‘no’.
Unfortunately in my family none of the girls(cousins) even saw the guy - but I dont think they cared - all of them just wanted a some rich prick so they could sit on their sorry behinds all their lives and live off their hubby’s money. I wasnt attracted to even one of them physically or otherwise - they seem to trapped in a mind of a 10 year old or wait - geez 10 year olds are very aware and smart today…I saw one of them yesterday 5 years into marriage and she has become one of those all famous lazy, fat(intent on wearing the saris despite having layers of lard hanging out), mouth running, ‘aunties’.
Re: Why marry then?
^ :halo:
its not always their fault.. if they’ve not been given choices or been allowed to see another of living, how do u expect them to know? If they’ve grown up with generations and generations of females getting married like that, is it really their fault?
Re: Why marry then?
^ Yeah....
I used to think, I could never be happy living the way my cousins live. If they're satisfied with their life then why should I have a problem with it? But then again, is happiness possible when you've never really been given a choice or seen any other way of life??
Re: Why marry then?
"is it really their fault?"
I think its always the persons own fault. Nothing happens without a reason.
Re: Why marry then?
^ no not really.. if a person has never seen a different type of lifestyle, how would they even know that they actually had a choice? A person is not born with intelligence..
Re: Why marry then?
well, if uve never really seen happiness in any other light, then why would it bother you? if people are content with the way they live, and they’re happy the way they are.. not knowing of other choices, then why should we feel sorry for them? Its another thing that they know they have a choice but they disregard it and say “ab mein kya kar sakti/sakta hoon”..
Re: Why marry then?
Its not about lifestyle - its about choosing someone you really wanna be with and having the enough brain matter to determine what qualities you want in your partner. All of us are very well educated - even if a person is not very highly educated do you really think they are dumb enough not to know what they want in a person?
Re: Why marry then?
"disregard it and say "ab mein kya kar sakti/sakta hoon"
You said it right there. Thats what I see everyday with every one of the married couple I know - yes everyone. Whats going on here? Where were you before marriage? You decided to give it a chance and now regretting it - geez nice life what a waste!
Re: Why marry then?
no. Ur missing the point im trying to make. If someone has never been exposed to these kind of choices, regardless of how educated he/she is.. how will they knew? if ur living in a society where the norm is to be married to someone without ever knowing them, how would that person ever know that they actually do have a choice?
and yes, some peopele really dont know what they want. Infact, highyl educated people dont even know what they want in a person…
Re: Why marry then?
no lifes a waste. Just cus u make one wrong step, doesnt mean u cant make it right by accepting it and taking full advantage of it.