Re: Why has wedding planning become so obsessive
yup. favours arent expensive at all, i think if u havent had them then u think they are
Re: Why has wedding planning become so obsessive
Some things are expensive here. So what were yours? I sincerly apoligise if you have mentioned this before and i have not read it.
ali....: are you male?
Silsila: Thats cheap and soo cute having sweets, I suppose then you can have favours. But to be honest even my sister hasnt thought about this for her wedding, I think she isnt going to watch her wedding video much after she gets married like i havent.
Re: Why has wedding planning become so obsessive
Just out of curiosity...how much say have you guys had on your guest list, especially if you live at home and your parents are paying for the wedding. Say they have attended loads of weddings and feel bad NOT inviting bla bla...kinda makes it hard to keep your guest list short, no?
Re: Why has wedding planning become so obsessive
Well, my wedding was like this. It was either having a lavish , nice wedding or getting married to the guy that I love with a simple wedding and I am not going to go into any details about that. But I know I have been ranting on about my own wedding but I have come to realise that atleast I got married to a guy that I loved. Who wouldnt exchange a nice wedding for even a wedding at home for a guy they truely loved?
Re: Why has wedding planning become so obsessive
ami rudeness was not the intention of my post. Ijust wanted to point out that instead of having regrets later on you might aswell cover all grounds upfront. for you having a good video and photos was what you wanted, for others it may be more. As long as people are staying within their means and fulfilling their hearts' desires then more power to them I say.
If u can afford it, have whatever u want! Favours are small tokens of appreciation, it cud be small edibles that won't be wasted. I remember going to a wedding where close family and friends got silver coins it was a cute gesture. (I'd take chocolates or marzipan over candles ANY day :P)
Re: Why has wedding planning become so obsessive
ami, i had 96 guests at my wedding.
mahismart, it was the generalities in your statement that bothered me, i suppose, but no big. everone is entitled to their opinions- i stated mine, you stated yours- its all good.
Just out of curiosity...how much say have you guys had on your guest list, especially if you live at home and your parents are paying for the wedding. Say they have attended loads of weddings and feel bad NOT inviting bla bla...kinda makes it hard to keep your guest list short, no?
We had 400 people at our wedding and boy was it hectic!
I would honestly say smaller is better. Only invite people who are genuinely happy for you and mean something to you. There were so many people at my wedding that I had never met before and same for my husband but I still had tons of fun!
Re: Why has wedding planning become so obsessive
I personally didnt want a mela-like wedding... :) and had made it pretty clear to my parents in advance..so our guest list is around 120~ and I am having so much fun making it special for them AND US... :)
Maybe ppl put so much effort into their weddings sso they don't have regrets down the road?
**Generally speaking, **I think there's always going to be a sense of regret when one has relinquished most, if not all, control of the event for whatever reason. Even if hte function may have been grand and lavish in the eyes of everyone else, that person might still think "If i had done this, it would be like this....." Regrets are just ugly, no matter in regards to what.
Re: Why has wedding planning become so obsessive
Ami, I think it is also due to the pressure one has to face from their peers/friends. Nowadays, people are so quick to judge and say, the stage was HORRIBLE, the dress was UGLY, the makeup was OTT, the centerpieces were too small, etc etc, you see it all the time (one example is bridal thread on gs) and you hear it all the time from friends/family/etc. Ofcourse people will talk and will always comment but how YOU take it is what's more important. Just because you hear a family member or friend making fun of someone's small centerpieces doesn't mean you go and get a bigger one for yours. That's why alot of brides feel the need to spend on decor and this and that because if they dont, they are afraid that others will pinpoint all the small things instead of looking at the bigger picture.. and it's true, people do. For instance, I had a small but fairly decent Nikkah where we hired a great photographer, lots of presents were exchanged between the families, money spent on jewelry/clothes but at the venue itself (Marriott), I had absolutely no decorations. The hotel people had put their sofas on stage for us to sit on, we had no backdrop instead of some plants on the sides, no centerpieces (Marriott used their standard candles/votives). I chose not to do any decorations because when I calculated how much amount was going into renting sofas or doing backdrops, etc, I was much better off paying that same amount to my photographer to cover my mehndi which was more important. Because even though my parents were willing to pay for everything, it was still very stressful for them and you have to draw the line somewhere. So we decided to spend on what was more important, and not on what came secondary. Even then while seeing pictures, a couple of people pointed out that oh how come the stage doesn't even look good? How come there are no flowers on tables? I really felt so glad at that point because even if I had gotten a nice stage, etc, same people would have pointed at something else because you just can't make everyone happy! It's the same thing with bridal dress and jewelry too- not everyone's taste can match and obviously I can't wear 5 outfits at once to make everyone happy, I am going to wear what I WANT to, whether someone likes it or not. So it's better to do what YOU want and what sort of a wedding YOU wish to have, keeping your budget in mind. Don't overspend just because you're afraid someone might ridicule your wedding- money doesn't grow on trees anyway.
Re: Why has wedding planning become so obsessive
wedding planning varies from person to person, from family to family....
for my own dholki a few months back, me and my girlfriends set up everything with gorgeous dupattay and saris, and FAKE flowers which one of them already had. literally, the only thing we spent on was my simple yellow outfit and the delicious food.
for the mayoo/mehendi/rukhsati in july, i arranged the entire wedding, in pakistan, by myself, in 5 weeks :D.
it was brilliant! luckily, even though i was obsessive, i was in complete control. i knew how much was being spent, since was the one making all the payments, so i couldnt help but be careful.
i cant wait to do my whole valima! :P
Re: Why has wedding planning become so obsessive
bride2be: Thats great you did it all yourself, I dont know how you coped! How comes you havent had valima yet? Just wondering
Shay: I dont understand why people, like you said, care about what others say? Its so sad that someone noticed that you didnt hav flowers on the stage at your nikah..I mean its not your ruksati it was only your nikah and people dont even have a function for nikah. That is just plain cruel. What about the people that cant afford to get all these nice expensive extras and they take out loans to please people! If you dont want something on your wedding dont do it just to please people, but if you want it for yourself then thats different.
Re: Why has wedding planning become so obsessive
Each to their own... we're not in the position to judge other people.
If a person can afford it, without putting themselves in debt, then why not go all out.
hi,
I was just wondering ever since I joined this forum I have noticed that wedding planning has become so obsessive compared to previous years. Of course, one wants to have the best wedding and to look like a princess on their weddings but why spend so much money just for one day where people just come, eat and go. I think some people tend to forget the main significance of the day. Men dont seem to be obessed about weddings so why are women?
Sorry for anyone who has taken offense, I apologise beforehand
Says the woman who endlessly whined and obsessed about her imperfect wedding on GS for ages! These women spend money and make things perfect however they can so that 6 years down the line they don't have to come on a public forum and constantly whine about how things should've, could've, would've been better.
Makes sense? Now you shouldn't wonder why..
i'm not sure what group of women you're generalizing about, but i find this sort of offensive to the rest of us who don't feel like we "obsessed, ranted and raved and then basked in memories afterwards" because our future's are uncertain and this is the only day we feel we can control. and i think you're also being horribly unfair to pakistani men by generalizing them under this one umbrella, and assuming that for them getting married is just as simple as acquiring another family member. marriage is a big deal and usually large desi weddings are a big part of that deal... and your statement is trivializing the effort girls put into their days and making it seem like nothing more than a waste of time and money. i apologize if i misunderstood your statement somehow, but this is what its coming across to me as...
Touché! haha!
Says the woman who endlessly whined and obsessed about her imperfect wedding on GS for ages! These women spend money and make things perfect however they can so that 6 years down the line they don't have to come on a public forum and constantly whine about how things should've, could've, would've been better. Makes sense? Now you shouldn't wonder why..
LOL
but wedding favours are not that expensive ami123. Some are such as candles etc etc, but asain ppl dont tend to use them as much because of the cost, we use stuff like sugared almonds, mints etc. My favours for 250 cost about 50.00 pounds and the sweets were about 10.00 which is not expensive at all. when i watch my wedding video, its so good to see ppl opening them up and having a sweet whilst all the festivities are going on. I did the same for my mehndi, I had cute little yellow/gold boxes with sweets in, which ppl had whilst wathcing the dances!
Hi Silsila
Can you post pics of your favours? Wedding and Mehndi?