PD believe it or not most things you’ve written here I agree with. My point is that you go about expressing yourself in a way that can be offensive. Is this on purpose? I’m just wondering why you need to shoot verbal arrows?
Getting back to why women work. I know ‘ladies who lunch’ and ‘lazy ladies of luxury’ who are Desi (as well as gori). Some are home with their kid(s) full time and may not know how to cook. They basically shop and watch tv. Their kids don’t have any relationship with them. It’s very sad. So the bottom line is as long as a woman is fulfilled in herself and her life choices, then everyone else is happy too. Her happiness affects those closest to her, her kids.
I agree with PD, kids should be made more independent and women should work outside. I come from a family where my mom worked for more than 20 years and I can safely say that it never affects any relationship. Just think about it a stay at home mom raising up her kids. The kids wake up around 6-7 am then go to school come back at around 2-3 pm they eat, take a nap or go outside play whatelse watch some TV until they go sleep. What kind of bond we are talking about over here. All the time when the kids are outside the women can go and work and make some living there is nothing wrong with it.
About those nursing homes, they aren't that bad the facilities are lakh guna better than your up stairs dadda abba room. The families don't forget their old they pay for it and most of them visit them very often. Just because they live separatly doesn't mean the love is lost.
No, you said they're lakh guna better than "daada abba" room. I don't agree with that. I think nursing homes are the last place I'd want to send my parents. They need to be kept in their own home. And with home medical care available, I think its a better option. I could write a dissertation on the ill effects of nursing home life, really.
Same one can do with the dada abba room...not all nursing homes are bad. The point is if you keep them in a nursing room doesn't mean you don't love them. Whether one chooses a nursing room or your own place its their own decision based on the facility, affordablity and lots of other factors.
No, it doesn't mean you don't love them. But if our desis can afford bling bling mercedes and "beemahs", then they can afford something better than a nursing home. I wont get into the details much, but most nursing home residents are not visited by family regularly.
No, its not that their family doesn't love them. Its that American culture has become very self-centured and individual, and people have forgotten how to deal with the bodily fluids and malfunctions of relatives they love. Its too icky these days to help your mom pee and then clean up after her.
what about babies/toddlers? they dont go to school. what about those precious smiles and coo’s you miss out on during the day? What about all the feedings you miss out on? Basically a mom comes home..gives her child one bottle and puts them to bed…the nanny/babysitter is basically raising that child because the are spending more hrs with that baby than you are. No matter how many vacations you take…no matter hows many weekends off you have..overall your babysitter/daycare provider/nanny is gonna spend most of the time with YOUR little bundle of joy.
those first few yrs of a childs’s life are very important.
^ Do you know that in many countries, “babies” start schooling at the age of 3 and it does them no harm?
Just because the American system runs on starting school at 5, doesn’t mean its perfect. Research is showing the earlier you get a kid enrolled into an educational facility, the better it is on their development. There are lots of different kinds of daycare. When you become a mother, you’ll investigate into those daycares and it will become apparent to you that there are some really good ones out there that are educational in what they do.
Hell, I’d send my kid to one of those. Get them ahead of the rat race. :k: You know, so they can get that high LSAT score to get that awesome JD degree. Except they’re actually going to use it.
Many many years ago when I was still at school, we visited an old peoples home. We took a basket of fruit and sat with an elderly for about an hour. It was almost Christmas time and the school wanted to do something nice I guess. My group got to visit an elderly lady. She was sad becuase her children never visited her. Last Christmas they didn't come and she wasn't sure if they would this Christmas. She had dozens of family photos on her wall and none of those relatives paid her one visit. She was very lonely. We couldn't get her out of our mind. So one afternoon after schooltime a friend and I decided to visit the lady again. We bought a little plant and went back to the old peoples home. One of the nurses told us the elderly lady had passed away just a few weeks ago. I wish we would have gone sooner. We never knew if she did see her family before her death or not.
But some of our classfellows visited happy and cheerfull oldies. One of them told us about an old man her group visited and his family came almost every second week. They often took him outside too. He was happy in that home and said he had made many new friends and enjoyed the relaxed well provided life there.
About women working, they have to. Some do it because they like to. But mostly nowadays there is no security in anything anymore for women. They have to have the possibility to be able to stand on their own two feet for in case anything goes wrong in their lifes.
If you have your own job, nobody can belittle you. Nobody can make you do something you don't like, just becuase they provide for you, be it a spouse or a family member. If you think something is wrong you can stand up more easily for yourself.
You have more controll of your own life.
In our Prophet Muhammads (pbuh) time people were actually living by the Islamic rules adn really respecting each other. Even when women had the possibility, they didn't mind at all to stay at home. Nowadays, life is different unfortunately. It's more a way of surviving for most.
How many desi families can afford bling bling mercedes? How many? What about those who keep them in their house because they can’t afford outside help. Do you know nursing homes can be helpful for patients like say the specialists over there whose job is to take care of people or no a woman at home with no prior experiece is going to do the thing and on time beside all other things.
Oh, the guilt by association its just amazing that only American people are like that not desis they don’t hate each other, really
Offcourse she should stay, when did I say she shouldn’t…
People what I am trying to say is that plz stop being ethocentirc your culture is not the only one or the best only. Its just in your eyes…people live and love in different ways and they express it in different ways. If a mom chooses to go out and work, she is working for her kids and their future and if she is staying at home she might be doing it for her kids. So, the point is nothing is right it is always about what parents think is right but just because a family has kids you can’t say that she should stay at home. If she wants to and can she should work outside.
pcg, this is a bit off-topic but in the us of a, "free", Public schooling begins at age 5. Prior to that, its up to the parents whether or not to send (and pay for) their child to attend nursery school. In the "better" school districts, just about every single kid has attended nursery school since age 3. In new yawk, if a parent cannot afford nursery school, the child can be placed in a free program, acceptance is based on your annual income etc. So its pretty rare in USA that a child begins school here at age 5, its typically 3....only the parents pay for the first 2 years. (beware people, its as costly as college, OUCH)
I would go insane if I didn't work. I cannot even stay at home over the weekend because I am so used to being out of the house. If someone told me to sit at home (which happens during a long weekend), I would literally be pulling my hair out by Day 3 :)
I love the financial independence and not having to ask my parents/husband for trivial things.
If it is financially possible, I would like to stay home with my kids before they start school because I have seen what happens at daycare.
