Re: Why don't women like Mama's Boys?
^
I wish I was :D
Re: Why don't women like Mama's Boys?
A mama's boy in my opinion is someone who makes his marital decisions according to what his mother thinks and not what his wife thinks. Also one who keeps letting his mother push his wife around. Unacceptable. Your wife is to be respected, not bossed around like a maasi that was brought over on some desi version of the Mayflower.
Taking care of your parents
Listening to them, respecting them
Supporting them
Interacting with them often
Even living with them
These are ALL perfectly acceptable IF and WHEN the man realizes how to balance his past and present. You cannot involve your mother in your marital life, especially if your wife feels uncomfortable with it.
Its just plain old WRONG. It undermines the wife's role as the man's life partner and also sends a clear message to the MIL that her son does not respect or value his wife's opinion. Which is again, a ticket to continue this irrational behavior.
Re: Why don't women like Mama's Boys?
^ and wife should also not get her parents/sisters involved in things ...specially sharing the things those were supposed to be b/w wife and husband.
I have came across many girls who do that. In fact my wife used to do that in early days and what happened? I stopped sharing things with her ....and she realized
Wives are pretty careless in sharing too. For example if some RISHTA TALKS are going on for her nund withint the house and it was supposed to remain withing hubby's family, normally (I bet more than 70%) of the wives will share this with her mom. "ammi yee ho raha hai ..liken aap kisee ko batayee ga nahee" ..... (jut FYI I dont have a younger sis so this is not a personal story) :)
Re: Why don't women like Mama's Boys?
Do you keep your wife's secrets to yourself? No. You're here talking behind her back all the time.
doosri biwi mil sakti hai… mom nahi…enufff said:chai:…
Do you keep your wife's secrets to yourself? No. You're here talking behind her back all the time.
You know the difference b/w Secret and Non-Secret things right PCG? Do you really? I am sure you do you just get blind folded sometimes because of your nature. open your eyes and smell coffee. YES women can be wrong and they can be criticized too ..
A mama's boy in my opinion is someone who makes his marital decisions according to what his mother thinks and not what his wife thinks.
and if he just makes his decisions bywhat his wife thinks he is hen pecked. The dude should listen to whomever he wants to but make his decisions on what he thinks not what anyone else thinks.
Re: Why don't women like Mama's Boys?
Now that's a real man.
However!!!!!!
Any decisions that relate directly to family need to be discussed with wife. You cannot just make your own choices and leave your family to suffer the consequences. Sure, YOU may be a good decision maker, but there are others who find it perfectly logical and reasonable to take their earnings and squander them away instead of investing it on family, or find it perfectly a good decision to NOT spend time with their kids and stay away from home as much as they can, etc etc.
So things need to be discussed between husband and wife, and decisions need to be made TOGETHER as a TEAM, not as you a man by yourself.
Now anything that doesn't have relevance to the family, yeah you make your own decisions, like what you want to eat for lunch or what clothes you wear, etc.
Re: Why don't women like Mama's Boys?
Discuss, yes...but the decision should be a sane one, regardless of whether others like it or not.
It's good to have domains. Somethings one makes the call on, somethings other makes the call on, some are joint.
If people behaved rationally than it would be much easier, but we know that's not always the case. I would say that it's when ppl are acting irrationally when there is a conflict.
In that case it is up to one person who is the final decisionmaker to make a call, and since there is conflict among others, one or more or all will notbe happy with the decision anyway.
Re: Why don't women like Mama's Boys?
shrugs
That depends on the decision being made, its impact on everyone, and so on and so forth.
There's no rule that says that husband has the right to make the final call, because as we all know there are plenty of males out there who are total twits and can't make good decisions for the life of them. A lot of such cases, the wife has a more steady head and will manipulate her husband into more sane decisions. That too varies. There are couples where neither are good decision-makers.
But there needs to be compromise. You can't always shaft your wife.
Re: Why don't women like Mama's Boys?
Which I'm sure you don't, X2, because you're a brilliant husband, and you probably would kill yourself before you see your wife suffer.
Not all men were raised to be like that.
Re: Why don't women like Mama's Boys?
I purposely did not say it's the husband making the final call, but that one person is.
A right decision does not have to be a popular one.
The interesting thing is that more often the complaint is from ladies who do not have much knowledge of the issue, so they need to be consulted and informed e.g. Would a recently imported 20 year old BA English grad from Pak be able to give very good insights on mutual fund to her 10 year older accountant husband who has been here for 8 years etc.
It seems rather simplistic but its situations like these where those ladies feel slighted that they are not included in decision making, guys are too cavalier and inform after the fact or not at all versus atleast consulting and informing before a decision is made.
PS: u praising me...what's up with that? I am scared now
Re: Why don't women like Mama's Boys?
I said you're a brilliant husband, not a brilliant human being.
I still think you're a greedy money-minded arrogant republican.
Re: Why don't women like Mama's Boys?
^ X2 ko izzat raas nahee atee :)
I said you're a brilliant husband, not a brilliant human being.
I still think you're a greedy money-minded arrogant republican.
pcg to English translation, I am a confident, goal oriented, fiscally conservative socially liberal individual.
^ X2 ko izzat raas nahee atee :)
Have u not read my signature?
I purposely did not say it's the husband making the final call, but that one person is. A right decision does not have to be a popular one.
The interesting thing is that more often the complaint is from ladies who do not have much knowledge of the issue, so they need to be consulted and informed e.g. Would a recently imported 20 year old BA English grad from Pak be able to give very good insights on mutual fund to her 10 year older accountant husband who has been here for 8 years etc.
It seems rather simplistic but its situations like these where those ladies feel slighted that they are not included in decision making, guys are too cavalier and inform after the fact or not at all versus atleast consulting and informing before a decision is made.
PS: u praising me...what's up with that? I am scared now
My question is, why doesn't the 10 year older accountant marry someone his own size and age, with a better educational background, so that he CAN have these sorts of discussion with his wife?
Could it be gasp, he wants all the control?
Re: Why don't women like Mama's Boys?
^
What do you women want to control? Is the Kitchen not enough?
My question is, why doesn't the 10 year older accountant marry someone his own size and age, with a better educational background, so that he CAN have these sorts of discussion with his wife?
Could it be gasp, he wants all the control?
thats a different point, the same could be said of the girl as to why she does not get a local BA english pass grad so they have similar outlooks.
Like it or not (I dont like it) a lot of marriages i our culture are still by some sort of family thing and the level of say the ppl getting married varies.
even if you change the age difference, or that both are local. diff ppl have strengths and knowledge in different areas. Now the key would be for both to discuss a situation and jointly make a decision, and i do believe that is how majority of decisions are made. where a mutual agreement in not reached..even one of those, i dont agree but will go along with your view because you may know more type of thing..its because ppl either cant compromise, or cant admit when they are wrong or have the wrong outlook.
then even if the decision was the right one they will complain that they dont have a say. the example was just that illustrative.
Re: Why don’t women like Mama’s Boys?
i have issues with the people (both men n women) who are “Kanno k kachay”, who will blindly follow others advices, and wont even bother to use their own brain.
lol…n the best way to treat em is to give em WILD SUGGESTIONS! 