Why do some women think it's okay for their man to watch porn?

Lifestyle Relationships
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Re: Why do some women think it's okay for their man to watch porn?

But inspiron, you present it as one of two options: watch porn or go cheat.

Whilst I see it as three options: watch porn, go cheat, or have some Allah ka khauf and control yourself.

Men survived back when there was no porn!

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Re: Why do some women think it's okay for their man to watch porn?

Of course you cant guarantee it but I was speaking about my fiance and knowing him. Of course every guy works different but I'm just saying that not every guy does, it all depends on the dynamic of your relationship. Basically, even if my fiance knew I'm okay with him watching porn/thinking about other women he still wouldn't and vice versa. I'm not being naive or silly when I say this, it's just how he works.

Now not all men think this way and because of that, women just accept it and move on. Maybe I would too if my fiance was into porn. But i'm just happy we're both on the same page. Esp. on his end of not watching porn.

Yes, men who cant work with monogamy are the ones who end up cheating. And it's true, monogamy isn't for everyone and often cheaters aren't bad people, they just cant be with one person sexually. BUT it's up to the couple to decide to figure that out together. Polyamory works for some people because monogamy isn't important to them and that's how they work, hence sleeping with multiple people is what they prefer yet to still have a "primary" partner.

That is why people have open relationships, the couple mutually decides on it and of course it works for them.

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Re: Why do some women think it's okay for their man to watch porn?

but back then polygamy was more accepted in all cultures

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Re: Why do some women think it's okay for their man to watch porn?

I dont want to act controversial here but haraam (porn watching) happens when we forwn upon halal (polygamy) options

Off course one can object then what are the options for a woman if she always feels extra-excited and her hubby cant satisfy her.

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Re: Why do some women think it’s okay for their man to watch porn?

TLK bhai, I get you and may be this is slightly off-topic but I have noticed that men in less sexually liberated countries are more pervy/sexually-frustrated than men in the sexually liberated areas. Why is that? I mean you can’t even walk in jeans and tshirt in Lahore without being stared at as if you were naked! Pakistan ranks number 1 on google for pornographic searches - are the mard hazraat there so chichoray because of the porn they watch or do they watch so much porn because they live in a less sexually liberated area compared to the West? :hmmm:

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Re: Why do some women think it's okay for their man to watch porn?

It was, and it wasn't until religion came along that monogamy was what became the norm. Also, scientific research shows that group sex was norm centuries ago and that it's "genetics" that causes non-monogmous people to think the way they do.

I call it partial BS, part reality but whatever. It's fine if it's mutual and it works for BOTH husband and wife.

To me, monogamy is the base of my relationship and I prefer it that way in EVERY aspect: mental, emotional and of course physical.

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Re: Why do some women think it's okay for their man to watch porn?

I don't think polygamy will / did completely stop people from cheating.

I think having moral values and fear of God is much more effective

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Re: Why do some women think it's okay for their man to watch porn?

A husband who cannot satisfy his wife is Islamically a completely valid reason for the wife to ask for divorce

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Re: Why do some women think it’s okay for their man to watch porn?

In this article, evidence from the ISDP—a cross-cultural survey
of over 16,000 people from 10 major regions of the world—
documents that sex differences in short-term mating desires, particularly the desire for sexual variety, are cross-culturally universal. This is true regardless of the statistical techniques used to
evaluate them. This is true regardless of the participant’s current
relationship status or sexual orientation. Married or single, heterosexual or homosexual—men consistently desire larger numbers of
sexual partners than women do. Most important, among those men
and women who are actively pursuing short-term mates, over 50%
of men (but less than 20% of women) desire more than one sexual
partner in the next month. This critical empirical finding confirms
that men’s short-term sexual strategy is differentially rooted in the
desire for multiple partners (Buss & Schmitt, 1993).
The present empirical findings have strong theoretical implications. These findings render theories that argue humans should not
desire sexual variety because both men and women are designed
only for long-term mating (e.g., Hazan & Diamond, 2000; Miller& Fishkin, 1997; W. C. Pedersen et al., 2002) or short-term mating
(e.g., Hrdy, 1981) as unlikely to be correct. In contrast, theories
that argue men and women are psychologically designed, in part,
for short-term mating (e.g., Gangestad & Simpson, 2000) are more
likely to be correct given our ISDP findings. Finally, theories that
hypothesize men and women to differ in their mating psychology
because of men’s evolved short-term preference for multiple partners are, based on the present findings, much more likely to be
correct than alternative theories (see also Schmitt, Shackelford, &
Buss, 2001).
In the future, continued efforts to deny these well-documented
sex differences in the desire for sexual variety may come at
significant cost. For example, among the most potent risk factors
for contracting HIV/AIDS is having sex with multiple partners
(Hoyle, Fejfar, & Miller, 2000; Mills et al., 1998). Although
reducing the desire for sexual variety is a key objective of many
HIV prevention strategies, it has proven extremely resistant to
change (Weinhardt, Carey, Johnson, & Bickham, 1999). The most
effective strategies have tended to be those that use sex-specific
methods of intervention (Mize, Robinson, Bockting, & Scheltema,
2002). To continue to assert that men and women do not differ in
the desire for sexual variety, therefore, may serve to derail
progress in investigating the circumstances under which the desire
for sexual variety gets translated into actual high-risk behavior,
and in developing sex-specific interventions that reduce the negative consequences of multiple-mating desires when they occur

[APA PsycNet

m](APA PsycNet)en crave sexual variety, is my point for being ok with porn. Im coming from a very scientific rather than emotional point of view.

Also i think i hate men.

Also when im married things may be different.

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Re: Why do some women think it’s okay for their man to watch porn?

This is really valid, and I don’t know the answer. I do wonder about it.

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Re: Why do some women think it’s okay for their man to watch porn?

Totally know what you’re talking about but that report that FOX made all huge actually turned out to be FALSE. As in Pakistan was NOT ranked #1 and Google even released a statement clarifying it. And men act that way in Pakistan/India because our culture shelters women so much from them that women become something to fascinating and alluring. Porn in those cases doesn’t help either because it couldn’t be more further from reality. And of course it can frustrate these men even more.

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Re: Why do some women think it’s okay for their man to watch porn?

I will answer both questions with a note that this is not true.

  1. If you give a thirsty person enough water in west but do not give any water in the east does not mean that men in east are more thirsty than man inwest. It just means that men in east are not getting enough water so ut becomes more obvious when they look for water.

  2. yes Pakistani maybe googling porn more, but who is producing porn more? East or west?

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Re: Why do some women think it's okay for their man to watch porn?

Exactly my point. Even without porn, they can be equally sexually frustrated.

And why am I not surprised at Fox :D

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Re: Why do some women think it's okay for their man to watch porn?

True, but only if guy has medical issues. Not if guy can only perform it one time a night while lady wants it 3 times a night. Or can she do it for that reason too?

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Re: Why do some women think it’s okay for their man to watch porn?

Hey @Inpiron, your post regarding the article on the research reminded me, there is this book that discusses this in further detail and how our ancestors worked regarding short-term mating and polygamy and sharing partners. Haven’t read it yet but planning on it, of course it isn’t going to make me change my views on porn or monogamy.

Sex at Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality > Amazon.com: Sex at Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality: 9780061707803: Ryan, Christopher, Jetha, Cacilda: Books

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Re: Why do some women think it's okay for their man to watch porn?

So you could say that if you took porn away from men, they would crave it more and fantasize about it more? I mean there's a reason why I feel so uncomfortable in Pakistan in western clothes.

That's true but the point is west is serving huge markets in the east and all across the globe, there's demand for it because people crave it, porn is a multi billion dollar industry.

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Re: Why do some women think it's okay for their man to watch porn?

Inspiron, that's an interesting article. Perhaps its reflective of the times we live in? Personally though I completely accept men to desire sexual variety I don't find it as a justification of porn. I do think both partners should try their best to keep their intimate lives interesting and satisfying as much as possible. Self restraint and lowering your gaze would be nice for both too in the big bad world.

Living in the society we live in, I appreciate that these moral standards are difficult to live up to, especially when men have very strong physical desires and are surrounded by some form of nudity everywhere they look. I also appreciate that porn has been normalised, and 'self pleasuring' is now considered healthy.

However I myself refuse to accept porn, because I believe in the saying that ' what is good will remain as good till the day of Judgement, even if the whole world thinks its evil. And what is evil will remain as evil till the day of Judgement even if the whole world thinks its good'.

What other people think and believe is entirely up to them. Each to their own. Now I'm off, so goodnight! :)

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Re: Why do some women think it's okay for their man to watch porn?

The problem with porn is that, as someone else said, it constantly pushes boundaries. What was the norm in porn 15+ years ago, is just "boring" now and the line is constantly being crossed to shock/disgust audiences. The effect may not be seen on a small, individual level but rather its seen over time and on a larger scale...

Also, just because someone admits to watching it or is okay with their SO watching it...doesn't mean they don't think its "okay" to watch or acceptable...if that make any sense.

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Re: Why do some women think it's okay for their man to watch porn?

But that is totally true for the entertainment industry too. What's the norm today in TV, cinema, magazines etc would've been shocking/disgusting decades ago. When I was in Pakistan in the 1990's, the dramas on TV used to be very family-friendly. Now they'd be considered very boring and I have seen the likes of Mahnoor Baloch dancing in a drama in a saree with a bra-like blouse. I couldn't believe it when I saw that clip on youtube and it has honestly put me off of Pakistani dramas. Who knows in the future you'll have Pakistani actresses performing sex scenes and whatnot.

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Re: Why do some women think it’s okay for their man to watch porn?

:hmmm: