Why do People Get so Defensive When they are ........

Told that in conversations by their spouses or by some one else that they are only in the WEST because they were sponsored or brought here by the spouses.I have seen so many cousins (both sexes),friends,relatives getting so defensive or In the unconfortable zone when this topic is brought up.Yes this is very sensitive to the people as it goes to their “ego” and honour and they some how wrongly feel guilty about it.Its not a crime! Have u guys faced it or seen it & what do u think?

Re: Why do People Get so Defensive When they are ........

Rubbing this is one's face can be quite insulting. So what do you expect? should they bow down to you or something?

Re: Why do People Get so Defensive When they are ........

Lets say I get married and move to USA. My nationality is converted to American. I already am going to hate being an American and on top of that my husband is constantly reminding me of it. You came here because you married me, you only got a visa coz you married me, or something like that. What kind of a home and marriage will that be? OK thank you very much you married me and made me an American, now what?

I have seen it happens very often.Even when casually brought up innocently in the conversation with all the guests around....!

Re: Why do People Get so Defensive When they are ........

Some people I can quite happily watch having their noses rubbed in it, in cases where they have tried every trick in the book to get a visa for a foreign country and in the end married for the sole purpose of the visa. Then their dreams of living in a western country turned sour when faced with reality - i.e. WORK to live instead of being mollycoddled.

TBH I have only seen very few of the above, but sometimes they DESERVE it.

Otherwise I don't think it's fair to try to hold something against them, esp if they did it for the future of both husband and wife / kids.

Re: Why do People Get so Defensive When they are ........

Yeah the only reason why people say it is because their probly getting too big for their boots tbh. And need to get back down to earth and realise their only here because of a certain person.

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How would you feel if the parents start to constantly reminding the kids , you are in this world because of us. We were the reason you are in this world.

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And what is so great about being in the West? We have servants back home who cook, clean,wash and drive for you.

So yeah, the only reason why I'm here is YOU. I mean seriously wth?

:biggthumb: So true.

Re: Why do People Get so Defensive When they are ........

This doesnt sound like a genuine concern to me. Unless you want me to shut this thread, please tell us what the real problem is.

Re: Why do People Get so Defensive When they are ........

what kind of rubbish is that? If they were sponsored abroad, you'd think they would know?? they dont need you or anyone else to lord it over them at every chance, inorder to big up your own egos..

LOL i think its *slightly *different.... No?

*Alot *of pakistanis love UK... They really do! I have cousins that used to live here and had to go pakistan... And they would give anything to come back here bless them..
As for washing-: Dishwasher
Cooking-: It really isnt hard if it is we have takeouts.
Clean-: You really dont have to clean everyday.. Britain isnt as dusty as Pakistan.
Drive-: Who *doesnt *love driving?!

I dont think its about 'egos' its about that people forget their roots when their in this country, Because everythings been handed to them on a plate.. They forget where they were at one point and if it wasnt for a certain someone that helped them out the third world country.. They wudnt *have *or *be *where they are now. I think you can only understand this question if you have actually been thru it yourself.

Not everyone in a third world country sleeps on footpaths and also, not everyone in the UK is rich. If you come from a high class family in Pakistan and you have to live a working or even upper working and middle class then that'll be difficult for you to adapt to that lifestyle.

This remark might annoy those who married a UK or USA person just for the sake of coming here and have a better lifestyle but for others it's BS and they will throw it back at your face.

Re: Why do People Get so Defensive When they are ........

Umm.. Sorry darling im lost, I've never said anything about rich or poor. Not everyone wants to come to uk.. I know that.. Im saying the ones who *do, *Cud never of come by them selves without knowing *someone *i.e a family member who brought them here to help them start their lives. And abit of appreciation to that person wont hurt anyone, No one is saying bow down or anything, But i've seen *alot *of people become *very *big headed and forgotten their roots and if it wasnt for the certain someone, They wudnt even be out the village.. let alone Pakistani it self!

Okay, may be you're talking about some people in particular and yes I agree some people do that.

Re: Why do People Get so Defensive When they are ........

[mod]Please no personal attacks and inappropriate language . Thanks . [/mod]

Yeah i am.. Thats why i can totally relate to it. :)

Re: Why do People Get so Defensive When they are ........

^^yay

Re: Why do People Get so Defensive When they are ........

I think a total jahil gawanr will tell you that sort of thing , and if you married in this sort of family then you totally deserve it .

Lalay you are such a hyperactive moderator. Hath hola rakhya ker thanaydara.